A/N: WEEEEEE! Another chapter! AND IT'S FUNNY... Why? Because I said so! SO LAUGH! Anyway, I'd like ya'll to vote, cuz we're coming to the climax of our random dating show, and WE NEED VOTES! Only two will remain to move onto the ULTIMATE WEIRD FINAL ROUND OF DOOOOOOM! So Vote!
Disclaimer: Neither konitsu or I own Zelda, Robot Wars, the Wind Fish, a duck, Sesame Street, Star Wars... AND I DON'T OWN A COW! So there...
~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~
*The lights are turned down low, and the audience is very quiet, except one guy sneezed. Anyway, Magic walks out with a long sleeved shirt with a pretty picture of a tiger on it, and black jeans with clogs that match. Her hair is down, seeing as she's too lazy to put it up today*
Magic: HI!
*Konitsu walks in with a black shirt on that reads "Jesus loves you, but I sure as hell don't" In red on it, with blue jean flairs. She is wearing birkenstock sandels and an absurd number of ankle and wrist braclets. Her hair is simpley held back with a black bandanna*
Konitsu: *waves* Guten Abend! ^_^
Magic: We're back again!
Konitsu: Don't we feel special!?
Magic: I DO! And have we got a show for you!
*Magic begins to jump up and down*
Konitsu: A REALLY MESSED UP SHOW! Just the way we like 'em!
*Konitsu joins Magic in the jumping*
Magic: Without any more of my jumping... HERE'S THE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T DIED YET!
Konitsu: BUT PROBABLY WILL BY THE TIME WE'RE DONE WITH 'EM!
*Everybody files out, and Ruto growls at Konitsu*
Magic: *Runs over to Link* HI LINK! I missed you!
Konitsu: Whoa, rabid fish. I feel so unloved...
Ruto: You should!
Link: *Backing away* Uh... yeah
Konitsu: Back of, fish girl. *Looks at Link, then at her Cloud (FFVII) plushie* Link, Cloud, Link, Cloud, Link...SCREW THIS I WANT THE REAL THING! *Glomps Link*
Magic: *Pulls the glomping konitsu away* Anyway, the votes are in! AND THEY WERE CLOSE, CUZ NOBODY VOTED!
Konitsu: Which techniacally means we could be lying to you, but trust us here folks!
Magic: Yes, we don't rig the show! I -think-... Anyway, it was between Nabooru and Ruto!
Ruto: *Crosses her fingers* ALL I WANT IS TO BE ALIVE!
Konitsu: And since I like Nabooru... Say bai bai Ruto! *Waves, raises her voice childishly high* Buh bye!
Magic: CAN WE EAT HER NOW?
Ruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Konitsu: We need cooking device... I can give electricity, *fingers spark* but we need, like, a microwave.
Nerio: (Whoa, she's still here!? Duuude!) I'm leaving! *flies away* (Took care o that!)
*Magic smirks at the thought and creates a GIANT COSMIC MICROWAVE OF UNIMAGINABLE COOKING AND HEAT! Magic nods at konitsu to do the rest*
Ruto: Oh god, my father told me this would happen...
Konitsu: Shuddap, your father is an idiot too....anywho... *Uses her lightning to heard Ruto into the microwave and turn it on, after about five minutes it dings and Magic opens it to reveal...a plate of FISHSTICKS!!!*
Magic: WOHOOOOOOOO!
Link: I'm actually -happy- to see Ruto now!
Malon: *Runs over and eats one* She's so gooooood!
Konitsu: *Stuffs a fish stick in her mouth, chews, and spits it back out again.* Shoulda known she'd taste bad. And Link shows he actually -does- have an evil side... *looks at Malon* Whatever floats your boat...
Link: Hey, I'm allowed to be evil -sometimes-!
Magic: *Sits a while* I just remembered I hate fish sticks...
Malon: Another brilliant moment from Magic
Marin: Would that be cruelty to animals or am I just over reaching?
Konitsu: Your overreaching.
Magic: *Points to Malon* YOUR OVER-EATING!
Link: Uh...oh... HIT THE DECK!
Konitsu: *decides to take sound advice from a sound mind and ducks under her special hostess chair*
*Magic runs near Link, clutches to him, and giggles*
Magic: I'M DUCKING
Konitsu: *mummbling, from under her chair* She's a time bomb ticking, about to explode...
Marin: *Ducks behind a large stage prop.*
Malon: *She pauses for a moment, then this enormous BUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPPP was heard and all the lighting fell down and everybody screamed like this, AHHHHHHHHH, and then Malon falls over, exhausted...*
Magic: THAT WAS SO COOL!
Konitsu: *looks at Link strangely* What was that for? I thought she was going to go evil or something cool like that!!! *sighs and gets up* Now I have dust stains on my je-eans!
Magic: I thought she was gonna hurl
Konitsu: Her going evil would have been cooler...
Malon: *Gets up* WELL I'M SORRY TO DISSAPOINT YOUR STANDARDS OF EVIL-NESS!
Marin: *calmly gets up and retakes her seat*
Konitsu: You should be.
Magic: *Blinks, and unclutches Link's leg* OK! WE HAVE A GAME TO DO! NABOORU! SPEAK NOW!
Nabooru: Er, hi?
Magic: You are quiet, it scares me....
Malon: *Walks over* What's the game THIS time?
Konitsu: She's contemplating or deaths!
Nabooru: Ya, whatever.
Konitsu: WRESTLING!
Magic: NOT AGAIN! But it does involve FIGHTING!
Link: -You- have mental problems...both of you.
Konitsu: Fighting is good...
Magic: IT'S ROBOT WARSSSSSSSSS! *Like guy on TV* LIKE SEEN ON THE ACTUAL SHOW, THESE CONTESTANTS WILL FIGHT TO UNSPEAKABLE DOOM, AND TWO WILL BE ELIMINATED!
Konitsu: *squeals* I LOVE THAT SHOW! The one I watch is all British and stuff and its the greatest thing ever invented!
Nabooru: Robot? What the hell is a robot?
Marin: I pose the same question....
Link: I bet it took them hours to come up with that game...
Konitsu: *bonks Link with her frying pan* DO NOT INSULT THE GENIUS!
Magic: IT'S A GIANT METAL THING YOU MUST CONTROL TO WIIIIIIINNNN! REAC HAVOC ON UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO HAVE WEAKER ROBOTS THEN THEE!
Malon: Sounds cool
Nabooru: This may sound OOC but...NIFTY!
Konitsu: MWHAHAHA! And me and Magic shall run the umpire bots! I call sire Kill-a-lot!
Magic: *Blinks, then decides to play along* AND I CALL... MADAM I-KICK-YO-ASS!
Link: You two are -so- creative...
Konitsu: *sweat drops* And Magic has never watched the British show, I take it! But I'll humor her anyway!
Magic: *Giggles* YAY!
Malon: And where are -our- robots?
Konitsu: *face faults* Um, ya. To give the contestants there robots, we prosent to you...ya... er... *zaps sir kill-a-lot into the impromto robot ring, anyone who watches the show knows he has a grabing claw and a large pointy lance.* I'll leave madam whats her face to you, since i'm humoring you...
Magic: Okay, then Madam can dissapear! *Makes her go away, cuz she's bored with her random robot* I WILL JUDGE! AND MAGICALLY CREATE THE ROBOTS!
Malon: *Blinks, then walks over to Magic* Can we tell you what we want?
Konitsu: And I shall abuse my power as umpire and kill you all! *gets glared at* Okay, just injure for now.
Marin: Can I have a wind-fish? Even though -somebody- had to go and wake it up and kill everyone... *glares pointedly at Link*
Link: -Look- I -said- I was -sorry-, OKAY!?
Magic: *Sigh* Alright CHILDREN...Who's first?
Konitsu: Lover's tiff *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
Marin: I want a wind-fish, please.
Link: *Bops Konitsu with an inflatible sword*
Magic: OKAY! *Raises her hands and a dark cloud appears overhead, mist covers Magic until it clears revealing a giant whale-fish thing with wings.* NEXT!
Nabooru: I want... A DUCK!
*Everyone stares a Nabooru in disbelief, crickets chirp in the backround*
Magic: YAAAAAY! *Does the same thing, a rubber ducky appears and Nabooru is delighted*
Konitsu: When good people go insane, and we like it! ^_^ Next on forcing Love.
Link: Your sad becuase you can't conjure things, aren't you?
Konitsu: *Sticks her tongue out at Link*
Malon: I WANT SOMETHING WITH THE ALMIGHTY POWERS OF 11 GODDESSES! MAKE ME SOMETHING SO TERRIFYING THAT EVERYONE WILL WET THEIR PANTS!
Link: o.0 okay, Malon had a labotamy.
Konitsu: Dude, your sixth girlfriend scares me.
Link: I have six of them?
Konitsu: More.
Magic: Aww, it's ok, you kill things! ANYWAY, ok Malon, here I go... *Does the same thing again, and when the mist clears, there stands a GREAT, POWERFUL..... COW!*
Link and Konitsu: DA HELL!?
Malon: WHY ME?
Magic: It's sacrid in India, AND HOLDS THE POWER TO SUPPLY MILK!
Konitsu: Resisting the urge to comment about McDonalds and Moo...
Link: Please, go right ahead.
Magic: I think I did very well....
Konitsu: Ya, its sacride in McDonalds too. MMOOOOOOOOO!
Malon: I'm... surrounded.... by.... idiots.....
Konitsu: I resemble that remark!
Link: Ya sure do!
Konitsu: *bops Link with an inflatibal mace*
Magic: I could make it a BUNNY! Want that? Ok, anyway, GET IN YOUR ROBOTS OF DOOM!
Konitsu: BUNNIES! EVIL! Wait, aren't these remote controlled? SCREW THIS!! *sir kill-a-lot dissapears and Konitsu leans back in her chair to watch*
*All of the contestants climb in and start their engines, so to speak*
Magic: It's more fun when they hurt EACH OTHER!
Konitsu: Last women standing isn't a canidate! ON YOUR MARKS! GET SET! KILL!
Malon: *From inside robot* Please god, let this cow save me...
Konitsu: You...are...pathetic!
Magic: COME ON! I WANNA SEE SOME PAIN!
*Marin is flying around in her snirfty little fish thingy, firing off blasts of dark energy ala a few of the bosses. She also has a a big pointy stick that shes poking them with. In English: She's kicking ass.*
Konitsu: And Marin is taking a strong lead here, but Nabooru and her steel plated duck are putting up a good defence, it might be hard to take her down! But...Malon's running into a little trouble!
Magic: And yes she is konitsu, it appears her cow refuses to move!
*In fact, Malon's cow won't move. It's just standing there, attempting to eat the stage...just...standing there.*
Link: *dead pan* Deal Goddesses the drama. I can barely contain my excitment. Joy.
Magic24: YAYYYYY!
Konitsu: Shuddap. But this might turn out to be an unexcitedly short battle here as...ooohhh. Malon has taken a blow from the duck!
*Croud lets out 'OHHH!' as Malon's cow wobbles*
*Nabooru's duck has revealed little buzz saws on the ends of its wings, cutting off Malon's cows feet*
Magic: KILL THE COW!
Malon: YYYYYAAAAHHHH HELPPPP!
Konitsu: And...and, its the end of Malon for this fight folks, its just between the two aquatic-birds of the sky here ladies and gents!
Magic: *singing* Rubber ducky, your the one for me!
Link: I have the strange feeling we should sensor this scene for the greater good.
Konitsu: *covers microphone she's been talking into* How many times do I have to tell you censorship is evil? *talks into microphone* And they're both taking hefty blows, but OH! the ducky takes a blow to the eye from the pokey stick and I swear I can smell those laser burnt-feathers from here. Marin's looking pretty triumphant, but ooooh! THAT'S -GOTTA- HURT!
*Marin has taken a blow to one of her wings with the buzz saw blades, rendering her flightless and basically immobile, but she shoots freverently with the lasers*
Magic: IT'S LIKE STAR WARS!
Link: That's it, I -am- censoring this *puts hand over the camera*
*black screen, Konitsu can be heard screaming random commentary and it finally ends...*
Konitsu: DAMN! That's brutal, never expected her of that! And the funny freaky looking fish has finally won folks! The ducks brain is fried better than the stuff at the local Chinese resturant. *muffled* Link, you can take your hand off the camera now.
*normal screen*
Magic: THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
Link: That...was...NIFTY! *Everyone stares at him, he just points to Konistu.*
Konitsu: Dude...nifty....ddduuuuuudddddeeee!
*Marin climbs out of her fish triumphantly and Nabooru and Malon limp off stage, the stage is total carnage*
Magic: We're gonna need some janitors...
Malon: THE PAAAIIINNN! MAGIC, I'M GONNA GET YOU!
Magic: What the hell did I do?
Link: 0.0 I'm retiring, I can never wreak as much havoc as Marin just did.
Konitsu: Link, no one's around to whine at you to save the world anymore, I don't think it matters. And no pain feeling for the hostesses.
Marin: *curtsies* I'm just defending what is rightfully mine *winks at Link* Though, its not like I have a -home--town- to go to even if I do win.
Link: I said I was sorry! STOP IT WITH THE GUILT TRIP ALREADY!
Magic: Tsk tsk, will you two stop bickering?
Konitsu: *smiles* Lover's tiff.
Link: *Fwaps Konitsu*
Konitsu: Must I defenscate you?
Magic: *Blinks* Anyway, we have a winner!
Konitsu: MARIN!
Marin: *curtsies again, and waves polietly to Nabooru and Malon, who are sulking in a corner*
Magic: And now the fans can vote off either Nabooru or Malon...
Malon: I HATE THE WORLD! LINK IS MINE!
Konitsu: But not Ruto, because she's dead. And can it.
Link: Why do I feel like a piece of steak?
Magic: Because that's what your are, my dear
Link: A hunk o' meat for the fangirls.
Magic: Tis' he is. Anyway, that's about it for our demented show!
Konitsu: Glad you've realized the truth about the world, Link. BYE BYE EVERYBODY! *waves*
Magic: BYE! COME READ NEXT CHAPTER FOR SPAM-NESS!
Link: I...am...the spam...
On: *Everybody* FORCING LOVE!
Konitsu: *rolls eyes and pulls curtain shut, sounds of her defenscating Link can be heard in the backround*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Defenscating=throwing out a window. Just in case you wanted to know what that meant, it's konitsu's little word. Anyway, WEEEE! Done with another chapter, and it's cool! Now we will have spam goodness in the next chapter, and it'll determine WHO RIGHTFULLY WINS LINK! WOOHOOOOOO! So stay in touch, and we'll keep ya posted! ~Magic24
Disclaimer: Neither konitsu or I own Zelda, Robot Wars, the Wind Fish, a duck, Sesame Street, Star Wars... AND I DON'T OWN A COW! So there...
~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~
*The lights are turned down low, and the audience is very quiet, except one guy sneezed. Anyway, Magic walks out with a long sleeved shirt with a pretty picture of a tiger on it, and black jeans with clogs that match. Her hair is down, seeing as she's too lazy to put it up today*
Magic: HI!
*Konitsu walks in with a black shirt on that reads "Jesus loves you, but I sure as hell don't" In red on it, with blue jean flairs. She is wearing birkenstock sandels and an absurd number of ankle and wrist braclets. Her hair is simpley held back with a black bandanna*
Konitsu: *waves* Guten Abend! ^_^
Magic: We're back again!
Konitsu: Don't we feel special!?
Magic: I DO! And have we got a show for you!
*Magic begins to jump up and down*
Konitsu: A REALLY MESSED UP SHOW! Just the way we like 'em!
*Konitsu joins Magic in the jumping*
Magic: Without any more of my jumping... HERE'S THE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T DIED YET!
Konitsu: BUT PROBABLY WILL BY THE TIME WE'RE DONE WITH 'EM!
*Everybody files out, and Ruto growls at Konitsu*
Magic: *Runs over to Link* HI LINK! I missed you!
Konitsu: Whoa, rabid fish. I feel so unloved...
Ruto: You should!
Link: *Backing away* Uh... yeah
Konitsu: Back of, fish girl. *Looks at Link, then at her Cloud (FFVII) plushie* Link, Cloud, Link, Cloud, Link...SCREW THIS I WANT THE REAL THING! *Glomps Link*
Magic: *Pulls the glomping konitsu away* Anyway, the votes are in! AND THEY WERE CLOSE, CUZ NOBODY VOTED!
Konitsu: Which techniacally means we could be lying to you, but trust us here folks!
Magic: Yes, we don't rig the show! I -think-... Anyway, it was between Nabooru and Ruto!
Ruto: *Crosses her fingers* ALL I WANT IS TO BE ALIVE!
Konitsu: And since I like Nabooru... Say bai bai Ruto! *Waves, raises her voice childishly high* Buh bye!
Magic: CAN WE EAT HER NOW?
Ruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Konitsu: We need cooking device... I can give electricity, *fingers spark* but we need, like, a microwave.
Nerio: (Whoa, she's still here!? Duuude!) I'm leaving! *flies away* (Took care o that!)
*Magic smirks at the thought and creates a GIANT COSMIC MICROWAVE OF UNIMAGINABLE COOKING AND HEAT! Magic nods at konitsu to do the rest*
Ruto: Oh god, my father told me this would happen...
Konitsu: Shuddap, your father is an idiot too....anywho... *Uses her lightning to heard Ruto into the microwave and turn it on, after about five minutes it dings and Magic opens it to reveal...a plate of FISHSTICKS!!!*
Magic: WOHOOOOOOOO!
Link: I'm actually -happy- to see Ruto now!
Malon: *Runs over and eats one* She's so gooooood!
Konitsu: *Stuffs a fish stick in her mouth, chews, and spits it back out again.* Shoulda known she'd taste bad. And Link shows he actually -does- have an evil side... *looks at Malon* Whatever floats your boat...
Link: Hey, I'm allowed to be evil -sometimes-!
Magic: *Sits a while* I just remembered I hate fish sticks...
Malon: Another brilliant moment from Magic
Marin: Would that be cruelty to animals or am I just over reaching?
Konitsu: Your overreaching.
Magic: *Points to Malon* YOUR OVER-EATING!
Link: Uh...oh... HIT THE DECK!
Konitsu: *decides to take sound advice from a sound mind and ducks under her special hostess chair*
*Magic runs near Link, clutches to him, and giggles*
Magic: I'M DUCKING
Konitsu: *mummbling, from under her chair* She's a time bomb ticking, about to explode...
Marin: *Ducks behind a large stage prop.*
Malon: *She pauses for a moment, then this enormous BUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPPP was heard and all the lighting fell down and everybody screamed like this, AHHHHHHHHH, and then Malon falls over, exhausted...*
Magic: THAT WAS SO COOL!
Konitsu: *looks at Link strangely* What was that for? I thought she was going to go evil or something cool like that!!! *sighs and gets up* Now I have dust stains on my je-eans!
Magic: I thought she was gonna hurl
Konitsu: Her going evil would have been cooler...
Malon: *Gets up* WELL I'M SORRY TO DISSAPOINT YOUR STANDARDS OF EVIL-NESS!
Marin: *calmly gets up and retakes her seat*
Konitsu: You should be.
Magic: *Blinks, and unclutches Link's leg* OK! WE HAVE A GAME TO DO! NABOORU! SPEAK NOW!
Nabooru: Er, hi?
Magic: You are quiet, it scares me....
Malon: *Walks over* What's the game THIS time?
Konitsu: She's contemplating or deaths!
Nabooru: Ya, whatever.
Konitsu: WRESTLING!
Magic: NOT AGAIN! But it does involve FIGHTING!
Link: -You- have mental problems...both of you.
Konitsu: Fighting is good...
Magic: IT'S ROBOT WARSSSSSSSSS! *Like guy on TV* LIKE SEEN ON THE ACTUAL SHOW, THESE CONTESTANTS WILL FIGHT TO UNSPEAKABLE DOOM, AND TWO WILL BE ELIMINATED!
Konitsu: *squeals* I LOVE THAT SHOW! The one I watch is all British and stuff and its the greatest thing ever invented!
Nabooru: Robot? What the hell is a robot?
Marin: I pose the same question....
Link: I bet it took them hours to come up with that game...
Konitsu: *bonks Link with her frying pan* DO NOT INSULT THE GENIUS!
Magic: IT'S A GIANT METAL THING YOU MUST CONTROL TO WIIIIIIINNNN! REAC HAVOC ON UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO HAVE WEAKER ROBOTS THEN THEE!
Malon: Sounds cool
Nabooru: This may sound OOC but...NIFTY!
Konitsu: MWHAHAHA! And me and Magic shall run the umpire bots! I call sire Kill-a-lot!
Magic: *Blinks, then decides to play along* AND I CALL... MADAM I-KICK-YO-ASS!
Link: You two are -so- creative...
Konitsu: *sweat drops* And Magic has never watched the British show, I take it! But I'll humor her anyway!
Magic: *Giggles* YAY!
Malon: And where are -our- robots?
Konitsu: *face faults* Um, ya. To give the contestants there robots, we prosent to you...ya... er... *zaps sir kill-a-lot into the impromto robot ring, anyone who watches the show knows he has a grabing claw and a large pointy lance.* I'll leave madam whats her face to you, since i'm humoring you...
Magic: Okay, then Madam can dissapear! *Makes her go away, cuz she's bored with her random robot* I WILL JUDGE! AND MAGICALLY CREATE THE ROBOTS!
Malon: *Blinks, then walks over to Magic* Can we tell you what we want?
Konitsu: And I shall abuse my power as umpire and kill you all! *gets glared at* Okay, just injure for now.
Marin: Can I have a wind-fish? Even though -somebody- had to go and wake it up and kill everyone... *glares pointedly at Link*
Link: -Look- I -said- I was -sorry-, OKAY!?
Magic: *Sigh* Alright CHILDREN...Who's first?
Konitsu: Lover's tiff *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
Marin: I want a wind-fish, please.
Link: *Bops Konitsu with an inflatible sword*
Magic: OKAY! *Raises her hands and a dark cloud appears overhead, mist covers Magic until it clears revealing a giant whale-fish thing with wings.* NEXT!
Nabooru: I want... A DUCK!
*Everyone stares a Nabooru in disbelief, crickets chirp in the backround*
Magic: YAAAAAY! *Does the same thing, a rubber ducky appears and Nabooru is delighted*
Konitsu: When good people go insane, and we like it! ^_^ Next on forcing Love.
Link: Your sad becuase you can't conjure things, aren't you?
Konitsu: *Sticks her tongue out at Link*
Malon: I WANT SOMETHING WITH THE ALMIGHTY POWERS OF 11 GODDESSES! MAKE ME SOMETHING SO TERRIFYING THAT EVERYONE WILL WET THEIR PANTS!
Link: o.0 okay, Malon had a labotamy.
Konitsu: Dude, your sixth girlfriend scares me.
Link: I have six of them?
Konitsu: More.
Magic: Aww, it's ok, you kill things! ANYWAY, ok Malon, here I go... *Does the same thing again, and when the mist clears, there stands a GREAT, POWERFUL..... COW!*
Link and Konitsu: DA HELL!?
Malon: WHY ME?
Magic: It's sacrid in India, AND HOLDS THE POWER TO SUPPLY MILK!
Konitsu: Resisting the urge to comment about McDonalds and Moo...
Link: Please, go right ahead.
Magic: I think I did very well....
Konitsu: Ya, its sacride in McDonalds too. MMOOOOOOOOO!
Malon: I'm... surrounded.... by.... idiots.....
Konitsu: I resemble that remark!
Link: Ya sure do!
Konitsu: *bops Link with an inflatibal mace*
Magic: I could make it a BUNNY! Want that? Ok, anyway, GET IN YOUR ROBOTS OF DOOM!
Konitsu: BUNNIES! EVIL! Wait, aren't these remote controlled? SCREW THIS!! *sir kill-a-lot dissapears and Konitsu leans back in her chair to watch*
*All of the contestants climb in and start their engines, so to speak*
Magic: It's more fun when they hurt EACH OTHER!
Konitsu: Last women standing isn't a canidate! ON YOUR MARKS! GET SET! KILL!
Malon: *From inside robot* Please god, let this cow save me...
Konitsu: You...are...pathetic!
Magic: COME ON! I WANNA SEE SOME PAIN!
*Marin is flying around in her snirfty little fish thingy, firing off blasts of dark energy ala a few of the bosses. She also has a a big pointy stick that shes poking them with. In English: She's kicking ass.*
Konitsu: And Marin is taking a strong lead here, but Nabooru and her steel plated duck are putting up a good defence, it might be hard to take her down! But...Malon's running into a little trouble!
Magic: And yes she is konitsu, it appears her cow refuses to move!
*In fact, Malon's cow won't move. It's just standing there, attempting to eat the stage...just...standing there.*
Link: *dead pan* Deal Goddesses the drama. I can barely contain my excitment. Joy.
Magic24: YAYYYYY!
Konitsu: Shuddap. But this might turn out to be an unexcitedly short battle here as...ooohhh. Malon has taken a blow from the duck!
*Croud lets out 'OHHH!' as Malon's cow wobbles*
*Nabooru's duck has revealed little buzz saws on the ends of its wings, cutting off Malon's cows feet*
Magic: KILL THE COW!
Malon: YYYYYAAAAHHHH HELPPPP!
Konitsu: And...and, its the end of Malon for this fight folks, its just between the two aquatic-birds of the sky here ladies and gents!
Magic: *singing* Rubber ducky, your the one for me!
Link: I have the strange feeling we should sensor this scene for the greater good.
Konitsu: *covers microphone she's been talking into* How many times do I have to tell you censorship is evil? *talks into microphone* And they're both taking hefty blows, but OH! the ducky takes a blow to the eye from the pokey stick and I swear I can smell those laser burnt-feathers from here. Marin's looking pretty triumphant, but ooooh! THAT'S -GOTTA- HURT!
*Marin has taken a blow to one of her wings with the buzz saw blades, rendering her flightless and basically immobile, but she shoots freverently with the lasers*
Magic: IT'S LIKE STAR WARS!
Link: That's it, I -am- censoring this *puts hand over the camera*
*black screen, Konitsu can be heard screaming random commentary and it finally ends...*
Konitsu: DAMN! That's brutal, never expected her of that! And the funny freaky looking fish has finally won folks! The ducks brain is fried better than the stuff at the local Chinese resturant. *muffled* Link, you can take your hand off the camera now.
*normal screen*
Magic: THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
Link: That...was...NIFTY! *Everyone stares at him, he just points to Konistu.*
Konitsu: Dude...nifty....ddduuuuuudddddeeee!
*Marin climbs out of her fish triumphantly and Nabooru and Malon limp off stage, the stage is total carnage*
Magic: We're gonna need some janitors...
Malon: THE PAAAIIINNN! MAGIC, I'M GONNA GET YOU!
Magic: What the hell did I do?
Link: 0.0 I'm retiring, I can never wreak as much havoc as Marin just did.
Konitsu: Link, no one's around to whine at you to save the world anymore, I don't think it matters. And no pain feeling for the hostesses.
Marin: *curtsies* I'm just defending what is rightfully mine *winks at Link* Though, its not like I have a -home--town- to go to even if I do win.
Link: I said I was sorry! STOP IT WITH THE GUILT TRIP ALREADY!
Magic: Tsk tsk, will you two stop bickering?
Konitsu: *smiles* Lover's tiff.
Link: *Fwaps Konitsu*
Konitsu: Must I defenscate you?
Magic: *Blinks* Anyway, we have a winner!
Konitsu: MARIN!
Marin: *curtsies again, and waves polietly to Nabooru and Malon, who are sulking in a corner*
Magic: And now the fans can vote off either Nabooru or Malon...
Malon: I HATE THE WORLD! LINK IS MINE!
Konitsu: But not Ruto, because she's dead. And can it.
Link: Why do I feel like a piece of steak?
Magic: Because that's what your are, my dear
Link: A hunk o' meat for the fangirls.
Magic: Tis' he is. Anyway, that's about it for our demented show!
Konitsu: Glad you've realized the truth about the world, Link. BYE BYE EVERYBODY! *waves*
Magic: BYE! COME READ NEXT CHAPTER FOR SPAM-NESS!
Link: I...am...the spam...
On: *Everybody* FORCING LOVE!
Konitsu: *rolls eyes and pulls curtain shut, sounds of her defenscating Link can be heard in the backround*
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A/N: Defenscating=throwing out a window. Just in case you wanted to know what that meant, it's konitsu's little word. Anyway, WEEEE! Done with another chapter, and it's cool! Now we will have spam goodness in the next chapter, and it'll determine WHO RIGHTFULLY WINS LINK! WOOHOOOOOO! So stay in touch, and we'll keep ya posted! ~Magic24