Chapter 6
No limits
"Hello?" I answered the phone.
"Hello, honey, how are you doing?" asked my mother.
"I'm making it, all though the credit card is running out." I said feeling like such a snob. "What's up?"
"Well, things aren't too good here, a disease has come over the village, but I think I'll be okay, since I am moving out in about an hour, but the bad news is that, I won't be home for Christmas, if you want to just have a quiet Christmas there, that's fine but Eve is offering a place at her house. But I said you wouldn't be joining because you hate crowds, is that right?"
"Yeah, why do you keep saying I or me?" I asked.
"Oh, Josie..."
"What?" "Your father died last night, from the disease."
"Oh, my god."
"I'm sorry, I miss him so much!" she said in tears
"How, oh my God, "I said crying
"Well, what do you want to do? Do you want me to come home?
"No, I'll be fine." I said wiping at my tears.
I hung the phone up, wanting to climb back in my bed and cry the day away. I looked at a photo of my dad and I last summer in Australia. I was on the beach in my bathing suit and a hoodie. He had his hands wrapped around me. But that photo was shattered. Not physically, but it looked that way in my mind. That picture would always be just a distant memory. I skipped school that day and just wrote and cried. I looked through all of the family photo albums, particularly their wedding album.
I walked into
A message window popped up.
NOLABELS: What's up? You look a bit... out there.
Crystal clear: Nothing
NOLABELS: Something is up, I know you too well..
NOLABELS: You there?
Crystal clear: yeah
NOLABELS: What's up then?
Crystal clear: I got a phone call from my mom, my dad died last night in Africa. A disease was in the town and my dad caught it and died instantly.
NOLABELS: I am really sorry, are you going to be ok?
Crystal clear: Yeah
The class was dismissed. I sat behind and packed up my bag and made sure I had everything for homework. I got up and walked out the door, not feeling quite the same. I had a feeling everything would come down on me once again. ***
Craig ran to catch up with me after school. I was walking by a party
"What's up?" Craig asked.
"Nothing." I said trying to put my best smile on my face. I missed that one.
"Josie, what's wrong." He sat me down on the curb.
I didn't want to cry, not in front of him. I kept my face still even though my body was quivering. A tear dripped down my cheek. I hid my face in my hands and tried to stop crying. It failed.
"My dad died yesterday." I said
"Oh, come here." He said and held out his arms. I leaned against him and cried. I probably sat there for twenty minutes. I wiped away a stray tear.
"I miss him and I don't know why. I mean he was always gone. But I had so many memories with him, and it feels like, it feels like they're gone now. That they're so distant that I can't find them."
He hugged me before letting me go into my house. He didn't want to leave me by myself, but I insisted.
"I really care about you, so just call me if you need me ok." He offered. "Are you sure you'll be fine?"
I nodded. "Thanks."
"No problem, be good." I smiled at that one.
I went home and turned on the Cruel Intentions Soundtrack. I wrote. I was so hurt. It burned. Burned more then being thrown into a fire. I knew why. I had always been a daddy's girl and for him to not be here just broke my heart. But it shouldn't be about me. I was so sad. I couldn't think of anything to do about it. Suddenly dying didn't seem so bad. I tried to get rid of the thought. "I've been down this road before I'm not going to go down it again." But my demons got the best of me, It seemed like the only way out from this mess. "This Love" was playing while I went and made a visit to the medicine cabinet. I took out a bottle of pills and took them one by one. I hadn't finished the bottle. I didn't have the guts. I didn't feel so great everything twisted and swirled. I bumped into my desk and a painful yelp escaped from my mouth and suddenly, I hit the ground and blacked out.
I woke up the next morning to Ellie. I as still on the floor and I couldn't move the side I had bumped into the desk. I found out that the desk I bumped into had a sharp glass edge. I was pretty tough and I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I didn't my eyes welled up, but I would not let the tears escape my eyes. My tears were the prisoners and I was the guard. Suddenly I was afraid of myself. I started to shiver.
"Hey. What happened?" Ellie asked trying to be gentle. I could tell she was really worried.
I didn't respond.
"Here can you try to get up?" she said. Gently taking my hand and side so I could walk over to my bed. I nearly collapsed walking over to it. I sat on my bed and looked out the window. I was so stupid, why would I try to hurt myself. I could tell Ellie was trying to figure out the same thing.
"Why?" she asked quietly.
I was still silent. I reached for my notebook, and searched for an entry that I had written months before I had moved here. It was about the summer where I battled with depression and anorexia. Up and down constantly. I handed her the entry.
"Oh my god." She said. "I would've never known, your just so normal and happy, I could never think of you. and dealing with.. " she trailed off.
"Josie, please talk to me. We can just spend the day here instead of going bowling, we can watch movies, or if you want I can make you some soup and leave you here, to be alone. But call me if you need me."
"Stay." I said. "You can stay here, you can sleep over, I just don't want to be alone."
"OK, can I'll set you up with a movie, I have to go get clothes and stuff
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~* That's the end of the chapter. So Josie's secret comes out. Will she go to extremes to make sure she never gets hurt, again. Will Ellie continue to be loyal to her friend even if it means not telling anyone, even if she needs help? I fixed this chapter, thank you for the tips, I flame Bad Fics, all though they could have been a bit nicer. Thank you for all the reviews! I will try to keep this interesting. By the way what I meant by "Not exactly a prep not exactly a punk" is she doesn't have a label, she is who she is. I was close to giving up on it today though.. SaM~*
"Hello?" I answered the phone.
"Hello, honey, how are you doing?" asked my mother.
"I'm making it, all though the credit card is running out." I said feeling like such a snob. "What's up?"
"Well, things aren't too good here, a disease has come over the village, but I think I'll be okay, since I am moving out in about an hour, but the bad news is that, I won't be home for Christmas, if you want to just have a quiet Christmas there, that's fine but Eve is offering a place at her house. But I said you wouldn't be joining because you hate crowds, is that right?"
"Yeah, why do you keep saying I or me?" I asked.
"Oh, Josie..."
"What?" "Your father died last night, from the disease."
"Oh, my god."
"I'm sorry, I miss him so much!" she said in tears
"How, oh my God, "I said crying
"Well, what do you want to do? Do you want me to come home?
"No, I'll be fine." I said wiping at my tears.
I hung the phone up, wanting to climb back in my bed and cry the day away. I looked at a photo of my dad and I last summer in Australia. I was on the beach in my bathing suit and a hoodie. He had his hands wrapped around me. But that photo was shattered. Not physically, but it looked that way in my mind. That picture would always be just a distant memory. I skipped school that day and just wrote and cried. I looked through all of the family photo albums, particularly their wedding album.
I walked into
A message window popped up.
NOLABELS: What's up? You look a bit... out there.
Crystal clear: Nothing
NOLABELS: Something is up, I know you too well..
NOLABELS: You there?
Crystal clear: yeah
NOLABELS: What's up then?
Crystal clear: I got a phone call from my mom, my dad died last night in Africa. A disease was in the town and my dad caught it and died instantly.
NOLABELS: I am really sorry, are you going to be ok?
Crystal clear: Yeah
The class was dismissed. I sat behind and packed up my bag and made sure I had everything for homework. I got up and walked out the door, not feeling quite the same. I had a feeling everything would come down on me once again. ***
Craig ran to catch up with me after school. I was walking by a party
"What's up?" Craig asked.
"Nothing." I said trying to put my best smile on my face. I missed that one.
"Josie, what's wrong." He sat me down on the curb.
I didn't want to cry, not in front of him. I kept my face still even though my body was quivering. A tear dripped down my cheek. I hid my face in my hands and tried to stop crying. It failed.
"My dad died yesterday." I said
"Oh, come here." He said and held out his arms. I leaned against him and cried. I probably sat there for twenty minutes. I wiped away a stray tear.
"I miss him and I don't know why. I mean he was always gone. But I had so many memories with him, and it feels like, it feels like they're gone now. That they're so distant that I can't find them."
He hugged me before letting me go into my house. He didn't want to leave me by myself, but I insisted.
"I really care about you, so just call me if you need me ok." He offered. "Are you sure you'll be fine?"
I nodded. "Thanks."
"No problem, be good." I smiled at that one.
I went home and turned on the Cruel Intentions Soundtrack. I wrote. I was so hurt. It burned. Burned more then being thrown into a fire. I knew why. I had always been a daddy's girl and for him to not be here just broke my heart. But it shouldn't be about me. I was so sad. I couldn't think of anything to do about it. Suddenly dying didn't seem so bad. I tried to get rid of the thought. "I've been down this road before I'm not going to go down it again." But my demons got the best of me, It seemed like the only way out from this mess. "This Love" was playing while I went and made a visit to the medicine cabinet. I took out a bottle of pills and took them one by one. I hadn't finished the bottle. I didn't have the guts. I didn't feel so great everything twisted and swirled. I bumped into my desk and a painful yelp escaped from my mouth and suddenly, I hit the ground and blacked out.
I woke up the next morning to Ellie. I as still on the floor and I couldn't move the side I had bumped into the desk. I found out that the desk I bumped into had a sharp glass edge. I was pretty tough and I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I didn't my eyes welled up, but I would not let the tears escape my eyes. My tears were the prisoners and I was the guard. Suddenly I was afraid of myself. I started to shiver.
"Hey. What happened?" Ellie asked trying to be gentle. I could tell she was really worried.
I didn't respond.
"Here can you try to get up?" she said. Gently taking my hand and side so I could walk over to my bed. I nearly collapsed walking over to it. I sat on my bed and looked out the window. I was so stupid, why would I try to hurt myself. I could tell Ellie was trying to figure out the same thing.
"Why?" she asked quietly.
I was still silent. I reached for my notebook, and searched for an entry that I had written months before I had moved here. It was about the summer where I battled with depression and anorexia. Up and down constantly. I handed her the entry.
"Oh my god." She said. "I would've never known, your just so normal and happy, I could never think of you. and dealing with.. " she trailed off.
"Josie, please talk to me. We can just spend the day here instead of going bowling, we can watch movies, or if you want I can make you some soup and leave you here, to be alone. But call me if you need me."
"Stay." I said. "You can stay here, you can sleep over, I just don't want to be alone."
"OK, can I'll set you up with a movie, I have to go get clothes and stuff
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~* That's the end of the chapter. So Josie's secret comes out. Will she go to extremes to make sure she never gets hurt, again. Will Ellie continue to be loyal to her friend even if it means not telling anyone, even if she needs help? I fixed this chapter, thank you for the tips, I flame Bad Fics, all though they could have been a bit nicer. Thank you for all the reviews! I will try to keep this interesting. By the way what I meant by "Not exactly a prep not exactly a punk" is she doesn't have a label, she is who she is. I was close to giving up on it today though.. SaM~*