Shakespeare is public domain, and Brahms c minor might be too, but Tamora
Pierce isn't, and I acknowledge that she owns all of her characters, not
me. All right. Don't sue. It isn't nice.
So this has been done before, but I wanted to try too. I'm going to try to get through the whole play, however long it takes
*to M'cha Aream--I'm sorry, the heart/hart thing was an honest typo. It's fixed this time around, I hope, but there will be others*
CHARACTERS:
VIOLA--Alanna of Trebond OLIVIA--Thayet jian Wilima MARIA--Buriram Tourikom SIR TOBY BELCH--Numair Salmalín SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK--Liam Ironarm MALVOLIO--Roger of Conté FOOL--Nealan of Queenscove FABIAN--Owen of Jesslaw ORSINO--Jonathon of Conté VALENTINE--Raoul of Goldenlake CURIO--Gareth of Naxen Jr. SEBASTIAN--Thom of Trebond ANTONIO--George Cooper CAPTAIN--Coram Smythsson
Director, Miscelaineous Tortallans, musicians, anyone else who feels like showing up.
Act 1, Scene 1
Director: okay, everyone have their parts? Everyone here?
George: Roger isn't.
Alanna: that's because he's dead.
Thom: but I brought him back, sister dear.
Alanna: *draws sword on brother, muttering ominously*
Director: Now, er, Miss Trebond, please calm--
Alanna: *growling* That's Lady Alanna to you. *sheaths sword reluctantly*
Director *over-brightly* Then let's get started! Mr. Contee and Mr. Naxen, we'll need you for the first scene. Now where are the musicians....?
Jon and Gary: *trying to get over being adressed as "Mr."*
*sounds of Brahms string quartet in c minor, opus 51 no. 1 are heard. A string quartet is noticed playing it*
Vln1: *stopping* You're sharp!!! Everyone's sharp!!! Sharp! SHarp! Sharp! *runs off stage clutching head and shouting "sharp!"*
Vcl: *shrugs*
Vla: *keeps on playing*
Vl2: *to violist* we've stopped.
Vla: Oh. *stops playing* I need to re-tune. *leaves*
Director: *coughs loudly*
Vcl: *to vln2* let's start 4 before D, ok Then maybe you can come in right?
*they start playing*
Director: Excuse me, could you play something a little less...Romantic, please?
Vln2: But Twelfth Night's a romance...
Vcl: *starts playing "the Ants go marching"*
Neal: *singing under breath* "The gods are on our side not theirs.../and if they're not, well then who cares..."
Thayet: What was that?
Neal: Er...nothing.
Vln2. *starts playing greensleeves*
Vcl: *plays pizz accompaniement to Greensleeves*
Director: Now Mr. Contee-
Jon: It's Conté
Director: that's what I said. Now you enter from over here, with Mr. Naxen behind you.
Gary: Why?
Director: *begins long explanation of medieval class and rank.*
Musicians: *leave*
Tortallans: *look amused as director explains incorrectly things that they already knew*
Director: *realizes no one is listening to her* Well then, let's begin. Take it away, Mr. Contee.
Jon: Conté. *reads* "If music be the food of love, play on/ Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting/" Do I really have to say all of this? Let's just skip to where Gary comes in?
Director *indignant* You can't just--
Jon: *puts on 'I'm the king and you can't tell me what to do face'*
Director: Oh all right.
Gary: *reading* "will you go hunt, my lord?"
Owen: *complaining* This isn't jolly at all.
Jon: *reads* "What, Curio?"
Gary: "The hart"
Jon: "WHy so I do, the noblest that I have."
Neal: *laughs*
Thom: It's not funny.
Thayet: I think it's funny.
Neal:You do? *Makes eyes at THayet*
Thayet: *backs away from Neal*
Neal: *sighs*
*Yuki appears, holding lady-fan menacingly*
Neal: I was just joking!
Director: *starting to get exasperated* If we may continue?
Jon: "O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,/ Methought she purged the air of pestilence./ *starting to get into it* That instant was I turned into a hart,/And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,/E'er since pursue me./ How now, what news of her?"
Alanna, Gary,Raoul, Buri, George: *laughing at Jon, but impressed, in spite of themselves*
Neal: Wow! WHere did you learn to elocute like that , Your Majesty?
Alanna: Elocute?
Director: Mr. Goldenlake, we need your lines...
Raoul: "She wouldn't see me. She's mourning her brother for the next seven years."
Director: That's not in the script!
Raoul: Do you actually expect me to say all of that! *gestures at his 9- line speech* I'm a soldier; soldiers give straight reports without frippery.
Director: *very slowly, with clenched teeth* It's a play. Pretend and read the D### lines!
Raoul: *reads very fast* "Sopleasemylord,Imightnotbeadmitted,/Butfromherhandmaid doreturnthisanswer:/Theelementitself,tillsevenyears'heat,/Shallnotbeholdherf aceatampleview,/Butlikeacloistressshewillveilédwalk,/Andwateronceadayhercham berround/Witheye-offendingbrine-- allthistoseason/Abrother'sdeadlove,whichshewouldkeepfresh/ andlastinginhersadrememberance." *falls over unconsious from lack of air*
Buri: Don't just stand there! Do something to help him!
Neal and Alanna: *rush over and attempt to revive Raoul*
Director: *to Jonathon* you're next-
Jon: You expect me to keep up with your stupid play when my friend is over there unconscious? *goes over to help Alanna and Neal*
Director: *sighs*
So this has been done before, but I wanted to try too. I'm going to try to get through the whole play, however long it takes
*to M'cha Aream--I'm sorry, the heart/hart thing was an honest typo. It's fixed this time around, I hope, but there will be others*
CHARACTERS:
VIOLA--Alanna of Trebond OLIVIA--Thayet jian Wilima MARIA--Buriram Tourikom SIR TOBY BELCH--Numair Salmalín SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK--Liam Ironarm MALVOLIO--Roger of Conté FOOL--Nealan of Queenscove FABIAN--Owen of Jesslaw ORSINO--Jonathon of Conté VALENTINE--Raoul of Goldenlake CURIO--Gareth of Naxen Jr. SEBASTIAN--Thom of Trebond ANTONIO--George Cooper CAPTAIN--Coram Smythsson
Director, Miscelaineous Tortallans, musicians, anyone else who feels like showing up.
Act 1, Scene 1
Director: okay, everyone have their parts? Everyone here?
George: Roger isn't.
Alanna: that's because he's dead.
Thom: but I brought him back, sister dear.
Alanna: *draws sword on brother, muttering ominously*
Director: Now, er, Miss Trebond, please calm--
Alanna: *growling* That's Lady Alanna to you. *sheaths sword reluctantly*
Director *over-brightly* Then let's get started! Mr. Contee and Mr. Naxen, we'll need you for the first scene. Now where are the musicians....?
Jon and Gary: *trying to get over being adressed as "Mr."*
*sounds of Brahms string quartet in c minor, opus 51 no. 1 are heard. A string quartet is noticed playing it*
Vln1: *stopping* You're sharp!!! Everyone's sharp!!! Sharp! SHarp! Sharp! *runs off stage clutching head and shouting "sharp!"*
Vcl: *shrugs*
Vla: *keeps on playing*
Vl2: *to violist* we've stopped.
Vla: Oh. *stops playing* I need to re-tune. *leaves*
Director: *coughs loudly*
Vcl: *to vln2* let's start 4 before D, ok Then maybe you can come in right?
*they start playing*
Director: Excuse me, could you play something a little less...Romantic, please?
Vln2: But Twelfth Night's a romance...
Vcl: *starts playing "the Ants go marching"*
Neal: *singing under breath* "The gods are on our side not theirs.../and if they're not, well then who cares..."
Thayet: What was that?
Neal: Er...nothing.
Vln2. *starts playing greensleeves*
Vcl: *plays pizz accompaniement to Greensleeves*
Director: Now Mr. Contee-
Jon: It's Conté
Director: that's what I said. Now you enter from over here, with Mr. Naxen behind you.
Gary: Why?
Director: *begins long explanation of medieval class and rank.*
Musicians: *leave*
Tortallans: *look amused as director explains incorrectly things that they already knew*
Director: *realizes no one is listening to her* Well then, let's begin. Take it away, Mr. Contee.
Jon: Conté. *reads* "If music be the food of love, play on/ Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting/" Do I really have to say all of this? Let's just skip to where Gary comes in?
Director *indignant* You can't just--
Jon: *puts on 'I'm the king and you can't tell me what to do face'*
Director: Oh all right.
Gary: *reading* "will you go hunt, my lord?"
Owen: *complaining* This isn't jolly at all.
Jon: *reads* "What, Curio?"
Gary: "The hart"
Jon: "WHy so I do, the noblest that I have."
Neal: *laughs*
Thom: It's not funny.
Thayet: I think it's funny.
Neal:You do? *Makes eyes at THayet*
Thayet: *backs away from Neal*
Neal: *sighs*
*Yuki appears, holding lady-fan menacingly*
Neal: I was just joking!
Director: *starting to get exasperated* If we may continue?
Jon: "O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,/ Methought she purged the air of pestilence./ *starting to get into it* That instant was I turned into a hart,/And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,/E'er since pursue me./ How now, what news of her?"
Alanna, Gary,Raoul, Buri, George: *laughing at Jon, but impressed, in spite of themselves*
Neal: Wow! WHere did you learn to elocute like that , Your Majesty?
Alanna: Elocute?
Director: Mr. Goldenlake, we need your lines...
Raoul: "She wouldn't see me. She's mourning her brother for the next seven years."
Director: That's not in the script!
Raoul: Do you actually expect me to say all of that! *gestures at his 9- line speech* I'm a soldier; soldiers give straight reports without frippery.
Director: *very slowly, with clenched teeth* It's a play. Pretend and read the D### lines!
Raoul: *reads very fast* "Sopleasemylord,Imightnotbeadmitted,/Butfromherhandmaid doreturnthisanswer:/Theelementitself,tillsevenyears'heat,/Shallnotbeholdherf aceatampleview,/Butlikeacloistressshewillveilédwalk,/Andwateronceadayhercham berround/Witheye-offendingbrine-- allthistoseason/Abrother'sdeadlove,whichshewouldkeepfresh/ andlastinginhersadrememberance." *falls over unconsious from lack of air*
Buri: Don't just stand there! Do something to help him!
Neal and Alanna: *rush over and attempt to revive Raoul*
Director: *to Jonathon* you're next-
Jon: You expect me to keep up with your stupid play when my friend is over there unconscious? *goes over to help Alanna and Neal*
Director: *sighs*