Replacement
"And stay out there, you stupid, clumsy thing! Don't you dare try coming back in here, ever again!"
My ears rang as I fell from the doorstep, hitting my head on the snow-covered cobblestones below. As I staggered to my feet, the slam of a door sounded behind me. Wincing in pain, I leapt to the door and pawed desperately at its slick surface. My only answer was the noise of retreating footsteps.
Reluctantly, I crawled away from the door, shaking bits of snow from my fur and hugging my body for warmth. I stayed in that position for several minutes, keeping my eyes closed all the while. As if my eyelids alone could hold back the wave of tears that threatened to overcome me.
A shudder escaped me as the top of the sun sank below the horizon, casting the entire yard into complete darkness. The brisk night wind hissed mockingly as it blew past, chilling the skin beneath my thick pink fur.
It was going to be another long, cold winter night for me.
Shifting uncomfortably in the icy air, I twisted my neck around and lifted my arms, examining for new bruises and other injuries. The throbbing of my head, however, made it hard to focus on any one thing.
"Ah, Minna," came a distant voice from the other side of the yard fence. "Ah, Minna, your Human didn't beat you again, did she?"
Easing myself from the doorstep, I made my way across the gleaming white lawn, paws crunching into the day-old snow as I went. Craning my head up, I could just discern the looming shadow of the old oak tree that marked the end of the yard. Its bare branches twisted grotesquely into the grey sky, shuddering as the wind barreled violently past.
Looking hastily away, I reached the fence at last and put my face to a gap between the wooden slats.
"Shadow?" I said softly. "Shadow, is that you?"
The clanking of an old, rusted chain answered me. "Present and accounted for, young Clefairy," the voice replied in its usual rumbling tone. I took a step back as a large wet nose thrust itself through the fence slats, taking a long, deep sniff.
"I smell blood, young Minna," the neighbor's old Houndour watchdog intoned as it withdrew its nose. "Surely you didn't let that young slip of a Human get the upper hand of you, again?"
I managed a faint smile, even though I knew Shadow couldn't see my face from the other side of the fence. The two of us Pokémon often had similar conversations at night. The first day I'd been thrown out of the house, Shadow had been the one who'd heard me crying, and the one who had whispered comforting words through the fence. Over time, I had come to treasure Shadow's presence on cold, lonely nights like these.
"Kim and I were playing," I explained patiently to my Houndour friend. "We were playing with blocks, the kind you use to make towers and castles and things. Kim had just put the last block on the top of tower, and she was so happy that I couldn't help but cheer. And when I jumped up, I accidentally knocked down the entire tower." I hung my head in shame, wringing my small pink paws despairingly as I did.
Shadow's voice, when it came through the fence again, was skeptical. "Your Human brat beat you up over building blocks?" the old Houndour asked incredulously.
"With building blocks, actually." I corrected with a crooked smile. "Those blocks don't look very heavy from a distance, but when they hit you all at once, they can really hurt."
"And now you have to stay outside, bruised and bleeding in this chilly air, until Kim's parents find out and open the door for you?"
I shifted uncomfortably at the harshness in Shadow's voice. "I don't feel hurt that badly," I protested defensively. Indeed, my skin had gone too cold and numb to feel much anything. "Besides," I added as I blew on my frozen paws, "you know I deserved it."
The Houndour on the other side of the fence snorted. "Because you accidentally knocked down a tower of playing blocks? Honestly, Minna. That Human brat of yours in a little monster. Do you hear me, young Clefairy? An absolute monster."
"Don't call Kim that," I said quietly. "Kim's a good girl, at heart. A wonderful, wonderful Human. If only if I weren't so…so clumsy, or so dirty, or so stupid…" I broke off as unwanted tears sprang to my eyes.
"Don't believe those things your Human says about you, Minna!" Shadow barked sharply, jangling the chain about its neck in agitation.
The tears rolling down my face turned to ice in the cold wind. "Not even if they're true?" I asked mournfully, swiping at the frigid streams of salty water. "Shadow, face it. I'm a horrible, horrible Pokémon. I'm so weak I can't even use any attacks in battle. It's no wonder Kim misses her old Pokémon, Aimee, and, well, doesn't like me...so very much."
"Aimee," Shadow repeated, scoffing. "It's always Aimee, Aimee, Aimee with you! You've never even met this so-called Aimee for yourself, Minna, yet you act like this Pokémon's the greatest in the world. Well, I'll tell you something, young Clefairy. The perfect Aimee never came and talked to me like you do, Minna. No, sir! Whatever kind of Pokémon Aimee was, who knows! It surely wasn't a polite one!"
I sniffed as I considered Shadow's words, then bowed my head solemnly. "I like to believe Aimee is the best," I said softly, but firmly. "Else…I mean, why else would Kim be so…?"
"Cruel to you?"
"Stop saying those things about my Human!" I cried, pounding angrily at the fence slat with my numb paws. "Kim's not cruel! At least, not when I don't deserve her cruelty!"
Shadow's disgusted sigh escaped it in a burst of hot air. I heard the rattle of its chain echo in the night sky long after the Houndour had trotted away from the fence.
Whenever young Kim recalled memories of Aimee, her first and favorite Pokémon, her eight year-old face would fill with loving radiance and her voice sweeten with deep affection. There was no doubt in my mind that Kim had loved Aimee not only as a Pokémon, but as a cherished best friend.
Whenever I cared to picture Aimee in my mind's eye, I never hesitated to pick images of great and powerful Pokémon. Perhaps Aimee had been a mighty Dragonite with a glowing hide and creamy belly, always ready to deliver a shimmering Hyper Beam in Kim's defense. Or maybe Aimee had been a fiery-spirited Charizard, its sweeping navy wings carrying both it and Kim, its rider, throughout the skies. Then again, Aimee could have just as easily been a graceful Ninetales, leaping agilely with its many lithe tails floating out behind it, or a majestic Lapras, sailing serenely across the seas.
Whatever kind of Pokémon Aimee was, I knew it must have been something possessing greatness. Whether this greatness manifested itself in the form of strength, beauty, or regality was not of importance.
Kim had loved Aimee with all her heart. According to Shadow, the two had spent years and years together, planning on conquering the Pokémon League as soon as Kim came of age. But when Aimee had disappeared only months ago, their dreams had been shattered.
I never understood exactly what had happened to Aimee; Kim's family was careful not to say a thing, and no matter how I prodded, Shadow refused to tell me. All I knew was that, one day, Aimee the wonder Pokémon was gone, and Kim was stuck with me, a scrawny little Clefairy that had never been trained properly enough to know any battle attacks.
I still remember the worn, desperate faces of Kim's parents as they stumbled into the Pokémon breeder's home and requested a new Pokémon for their little girl. Minutes later, a pair of hands had alighted on my shoulders and pulled me out of the playpen I shared with my Clefairy brothers and sisters.
"That one will do," Kim's mother had proclaimed as she subjected me to a quick glance. She managed a weary smile on my behalf as she took me in her arms.
Mere minutes later, I was wrapped in a fluffy blanket and placed in the backseat of the family car. I had never been out of the breeder's house before, and anxiety surged in the pit of my stomach as the car rattled down the long road. But a part of me was reveling in excitement, exuberant at being chosen for whatever strange new adventure awaited me.
When I had first seen Kim, staring petulantly out from behind her door as her parents brought me into the house, I had wriggled onto the floor and scampered eagerly towards her, paws outstretched for a hug. Kim's door slammed shut before I had a chance to reach her.
"Go away!" Kim had sobbed from within her room. "I'm never coming out, never, never, never!"
The smell of hot waffles the next morning, however, had Kim dashing downstairs, her vow of reclusion completely forgotten. She piled her plate high with waffles and doused them all with liberal amounts of syrup, most of which seeped into her shoulder-length brown hair.
From my spot on the floor below, the delicious aroma of food made my empty stomach growl. "Cle'fair air?" I had asked hopefully, calling up to Kim. She ignored me, and continued to shove food into her mouth at an alarming rate.
"Please, I'm a bit hungry, and I'd like some food. Just a little, if you would," I had tried again, louder this time.
Still Kim ignored me. I sidestepped as the little girl got to her feet, almost stepping on my tail as she did, and stared in disbelief. Kim acted as if she didn't see me at all, and indeed, that was how things proceeded for the next week or two. No matter how desperately I vied for her attention, Kim went on pretending as if I had never existed.
"That new Clefairy of yours looks rather lonely, don't you think, Kimmie?" Kim's father asked one day, indicating my slumped posture. "Why don't you take it down to the park with you this afternoon? You and Aimee always had so much fun at the park together."
At this, Kim had flown into a red-faced rage. "No way am I taking that Pokémon!" she had screamed, pointing an accusing finger at me and stomping her foot. "Never, not in a million years! The park was mine and Aimee's favorite place! That horrible mean little Clefairy doesn't deserve to go there!"
I had started up in surprise at Kim's comment. What had I possibly done that could be considered mean? I racked my brains for hours, but could not come up with a single thing. Finally, I decided that, since I had rarely played with her since my arrival, Kim must believe me to be cold and unfriendly.
So I made a point of being with her every chance I got. I'd bring her freshly-picked flowers from outside and open my paws for a hug whenever she passed by. Sometimes, when Kim forgot to pick up her clothes or put away her toys, I took it upon myself to do it for her.
"Maybe you'd like to take your Clefairy outside with you today," Kim's mother had suggested on many a beautiful fall day. "You two haven't been out in such a long time. You can play in the leaves together or go for a walk. Wouldn't that be fun, Kim?"
Hearing this, Kim would give me a kick under the table or viciously crumple the flowers I had given her. Her mother and father watched silently, eyes filled with a much greater sadness than mine. But they were always silent, as if any protest against their little daughter would hurt far more than the numerous bruises and cuts that now crisscrossed my skin.
It was a while before Kim finally acknowledged my presence around the house. Now that her denial of my existence had abated, Kim switched to calling me names and making faces at me whenever her parents weren't looking. More often than not, if I got too close, she'd give me a good kick and lock me out in the yard.
As a result, most of my nights, such as this one, were spent sitting out on that doorstep, wondering bewilderedly why Kim harbored such a great dislike for me.
I never used the term "hate" for Kim's feelings, even in my thoughts. As much as Kim didn't like me, surely she couldn't hate me. Hate was too strong an emotion for a little girl like her.
Then again…
All the other complaints and criticisms Kim had yelled at me over the past months circled in my confused mind now, branding themselves sharply into my brain.
Stupid Clefairy! You can't do anything right, can you?
There was never any Pokémon as ugly as you! Go crawl back under the rock you came from!
You're not only ugly and stupid, you're useless, too! There's no way I'll become a Pokémon trainer now, not with an idiot Clefairy that can't even do a Metronome attack!
Just get out of my sight, you worthless Pokémon! I hate you, I hate you, and I wish you'd never come here at all!
I sighed dejectedly, huddling closer to the edge of the house as I did. When I first arrived, self-assured and confident, I would have never believed Kim's sullenly childish accusations. But now, it was already too late. Kim's horrible words had become me.
"I am nothing," I said softly to myself as I tried to hold back my tears. "Poor Kim must miss Aimee so much. Aimee must have been the best Pokémon ever. Powerful, beautiful, probably knew about a million attacks. If only I…if only I could…"
Frowning, I wiggled my fingers a bit, swaying my body from side to side with accordance to a natural beat. "Come on!" I hissed to myself, trying to concentrate. "Come on, I can do this! Metronome attack! Metronome, now!"
Nothing happened. Clenching my jaw, I tried again, waggling my fingers even harder than before. It was all to no avail.
Disgruntled, I sat back on the step, my heavy breathing forming wispy white clouds in the icy winter air. One portion of my brain was calling out angrily, demanding why I had given up so quickly. The remaining, more logical part was scoffing at me for even trying.
Pokémon couldn't learn new attacks without real battle experience, of which I had absolutely none. Trained Pokémon received experience from their many matches, while Wild Pokémon earned their hard-won skills from constant fights with rivals and predators. As a young Clefairy, born and bred only to be a house pet, I had never had a chance to develop my fighting skills. The idea of me trying to become a battling Pokémon was ridiculous!
Giving up already, Minna? whispered a nagging voice in the back of my head. The perfect Aimee probably never gave up. Aimee wouldn't have quit trying to learn a new attack.
Especially not when it could make Kim happy at last.
Despite all she had done to me, there was nothing I wished more than to make Kim happy. Day in and day out, I held onto the faint hope that, if I could make Kim crack a smile instead of a scowl, she'd accept and love me at last. Kim, after all, was all I had now. My memories of the breeder's house along with my mother, brothers, and sisters had slipped away into the recesses of my mind long ago, leaving only Kim for me to hold onto. If only she could smile for me, just once.
It's not as easy as that, I told myself sternly as I rubbed my paws together for warmth. If I want Kim's love and respect, I've got to earn it fair and square. Just like Aimee had to do before me.
I knew that Kim's greatest dream, like that of most any child, was to become a Pokémon master. And she needed a strong starting Pokémon if she ever wished to succeed.
With Aimee gone, that strong Pokémon had to be me.
Blowing upon my chilled fingers, I wiggled my paws in order to bring blood back into them. Then, crossing my fingers for luck, I leapt down from the step and started towards the end of the yard. The fence loomed over me as I approached it. Squinting, I could just make out a large gap between of its two wooden slats. I had pinpointed this opening before as a potential hole to the outside world, but never had the nerve to try it until now.
Starting cautiously forward, I wriggled my side through the hole, yelping as the rest of my body fell through the gap and hit the snow on the other side. My vision swerved dizzily in and out of focus as I struggled to my feet, shocked by the enormity of what I had just done.
I had never left the yard before, not since my arrival at Kim's house. Adrenaline coursing through my shaking body, I looked briefly about to get my bearings. Most everything was obscured by darkness, leaving just menacing forms that I could only imagine the identities of. Gulping, I trotted nervously forward, searching for some sort of path to follow.
The light of a street lamp glowed faintly in the distance, catching my eye. It was this light that I dropped onto all fours and scurried after, leaving the safety of the yard and Kim's house behind me.