JANYUU'S LITTLE FRIEND HAS BEEN RENAMED BY HITOKI!
And because of the 'A' tickets and the signed Nothing single she has received(PLUS Foghorn on vinyl and Just A Day…)she's decided to finish it-
1)Because of those AMAZING rewards (Hitoki: Even though the Foghorn single didn't exist as it was bid for it on e-bay and LOST!)
2)Cause she has writers block on all other subjects and wants to write this one. Yes, even though no reviews are coming in.
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Takato POV
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"I should try and call Kenta again," I said thoughtfully. "He wouldn't want to miss out on this."
"I think I should go home," murmured Henry, looking a little green, his eyes focused on Kazu. Good God. I felt so sorry for Henry- having to face the fact that your own dad did something like…that…
"I need to go pretty soon too," Rika looked at her watch. "I said I'd meet up with Ryo so we can go audition for a play together."
A play?!
No accounting for taste, no accounting for taste…
"Yeah, sure." Kazu murmured, leaning his head against the worktop.
I shrugged. "Okay." I made my way towards the telephone and dialled.
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Kenta POV
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The phone ringing in the hall woke me up. I shut off the CD player and walked out to get the call.
It was Takato.
"Hi Kenta!"
"Hi."
"You want to come around? Me and Kazu're here. Henry and Rika have to go, but we'll still be around."
I paused. I wasn't sure if Kazu wanted to see me again- and now I felt embarrassed after overhearing that conversation on the phone- what if kazu hadn't wanted me to hear it? But still…"Yeah, okay."
I shoved my glasses on and left the house. It only took a while.
I opened the door and walked in. "?" the door was open? Ah well. I walked in, and squeaked.
Oh dear Lord.
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Kazu POV
5 mins before Kenta coming around
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I watched Takato as he came back from the phone. "I'm scared about what he'll say. I wouldn't like it if he started thinking I was weak or something."
Takato laughed. "That sounded like the Kazu that strikes irritation into our hearts."
"Why thank you." I bowed using my free hand.
He paused, his eyes fixed on me. "How can you be so normal after…after all of that?"
"Shiotas are a resilient breed," I shrugged it off. I was lying. It hurt badly….but if I told people that, they'd cry, right? Takato knows me better than that. He saw straight through the downright lie- he just looked at me pityingly.
"Don't look at me like that." I stared determinedly at the table.
Takato sighed. "Why do you have to lie to me, Kazu?"
"So you won't get upset. And if you got upset you'd hate me for making you be upset. Here." I blindly yanked a drawer open, grabbed a knife and thrust it into the palm of his hand. "get it over with."
"Kazu…?"
"KILL ME, DAMMIT!"
He dropped the knife.
Bastard.
I heard the stool scrape on the floor , and the soft noise of him crossing the side of the table. He gently put his arms around me, tilted up my chin…
And he kissed me.
I didn't even pay attention to the kitchen door slamming.
Then there was a squeal.
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Kenta POV
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I stood there, speechless. No way. That wasn't happening, was it?
Takato's arm unwound itself from around Kazu's shoulder and ran tenderly over his hair. From what I could see of his mouth, Kazu was smiling.
"Um."
Takato blinked, Kazu blinked, and they sprang apart instantly. Kazu rubbed at his mouth with his arm, his sling leant on the table. Takato rearranged his goggles carefully and looked like nothing happened.
"Um….hi, guys." I put my hands behind my back. "I'll…just leave now."
"Don't." Kazu looked at me, then looked at an empty chair. I took the signal and sat down.
Takato looked very interested in the floor. Kazu rolled his eyes at him and looked at me. I can't STAND it when he looks at me like that. He doesn't blink, he just stares at me, and even if I've done nothing wrong he makes me feel guilty.
"Well….um….guys. So….what was that all about?" I managed to ask, even while under the crushing-pressure of Kazu's FEEL-MISERABLE-FOR-ALL-ETERNITY-stare™.
"Um…. We were…just…um.." Takato looked up. "Talking."
"Yeah. And…" Kazu's eyes slid to the right. "Things just….happened."
Takato flushed red. I blinked and suddenly felt as if my insides had vanished.
"It was your fault." Kazu glared at Takato. "I never did anything."
Takato looked at him sharply, his ever friendly eyes blazing fire. "You enjoyed it!"
"No I didn't," Kazu said stubbornly.
"You did!"
"Didn't."
"Did!"
"Didn't."
I rested my arms on the table. "It doesn't matter. I was just surprised, that's all."
Kazu looked at me, his entire stance changing. He looked guilty. Me and Kazu have this way of looking at each other and not needing to say anything. That look said something like- "Please don't hate me."
I rolled my eyes at him.
Oh my god, I really think that seeing that just scarred my heart permanently. I always thought of Kazu as my Kazu. You always got Kazu with me, and you always got me with Kazu. But he obviously didn't like me as much as he liked Takato…
"Kenta? You okay?" Takato asked gently. Kazu couldn't look at me.
I nodded and smiled. "Yeah."
Oops. Wrong person to fake-smile to. Takato is the only one in all of the tamers who can tell when I lie. He can suss out anyone just like that.
"Kenta…" Takato had the sense not to say any more, but he just looked at me. Takato also has this look that pierces right through any armour and attacks at your stomach and heart. I could see what Kazu could see in him, which just made me feel worse.
"I'm fine with it." I tried to make it sound convincing. "Honestly."
Takato looked at me sharply. I had a feeling we were going to discuss this later.
"I'll leave." Kazu got up.
"Ka-"
He turned around and gave both of us this glare. Not like 'I'm kidding around' sort of glare. It was the sort of glare someone gives when they're teetering on the edge of deciding to murder you.
"Can't stay, have a good day, now I've got to go,"* he said in half-rhyme, and then he stormed out. Good God does he need some anger management problems.
"I think I'll-" I stood up, but Takato's hand zoomed out and caught my wrist.
"You are going to stay here," he said slowly. He sighed. "C'mon, Kenta. What is it?"
I shuffled. "You know about Janyu, right?"
"I do. I know about his dad, and I know about you."
I hung my head limply. Takato's tone softened and he patted me on the shoulder.
"I have a huge crush on him, Takato," I said quietly.
"Me too," he murmured softly, pulling me into a hug. "Me too."
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Kazu POV
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Nothing.
And nothing's what you got when you ain't got no one, no one… you could have had the lot and if it's over today,
You'll never get that thing you had together, no way.
You only get it once.
Fly away…
If you fly away…
You might die today….if you fly, if you fly…
So true.
Kenta's never gonna want me back now. Even our friendship seems to have vanished. But it doesn't matter. If we're not friends he won't miss me when I'm gone, right?
Shit.
Things are really screwed up right now.
I am NOT gay. I can't be….I've crushed on girls, pretty girls, plain girls, funny girls, sad girls, tomboy girls, girly girls, blonde girls, brunette girls. I've dated even more than I have crushed. So why am I just all of a sudden…..liking what Takato did to me?
I wanted him to do it again. Good lord.
What the fuck have I gotten myself into this time?
'…All over LA…..hang with the ladies so they don't think you're gay…'
Goddamn 'A'.
Goddamn fucking Feeder.
I blink up at the ceiling. I love my room. There's posters all over it. System of a Down, Sum 41, 'A', Feeder (with or without John), Queen, Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, No Doubt have their areas on my wall. I have one photo stuck on my ceiling so I can see it when I go to sleep. My mum didn't know why I wanted it there, but she put it there anyway.
It's the photo of when we exited the digital world using Janyuu's ark. Kenta crying, me with my thumb pushing up the peak of my visor, Ryo giving the thumbs up, Suzie waving, Henry smiling with his arms folded, Takato grinning goofily, Rika casually leaning against Renamon, Jeri staring blankly at the camera.
It feels so good to remember good times when no one crushed on anyone (aside from Takato and Jeri of course), we were all friends, we all thought each other was cool. When Kenta was my one-man fan club, and I was just dismissed as the obnoxious one.
The photograph starts to merge into the ceiling. There's some weird sniffling sound coming from somewhere.
It's me.
It feels so weird to cry when you don't feel sad. I stood up and slotted the Echo Park CD.
My life recorded.
While Piece by Piece was playing, I drifted in an out of consciousness, then, half awake, stumbled to the bathroom. Glinting in the corner was the razor. I grinned at it and grabbed hold of the razor by the handle. It was poised at my wrist for about a minute before I plunged it in and raked it down my arm. A fountain of crimson blood raced from my arm into the sink.
Beautiful. That's what it is.
"Sitting on a corner street, children playing at my feet, see the smiles on ice cream faces," I murmured as the wound started its slow journey to heal. I raised my other wrist and the razor glinted again. "Feel myself begin to sink, as the wind blows through my skin, leaves me open to temptation..."
More blood. I smiled as I buried its head into my skin again. Slash.
"Cause nothing ever lasts forever …."
Twin scars on each hand. The blood loss was already getting to me. I felt giddy. Got to reach the chorus… Got to reach the chorus…
"We're like flowers."
Almost there. If I cut myself again I'd die too soon.
"In…"
The world swerved crazily as my legs gave way beneath me. Blood from my wrists started pooling on the floor.
"This vase together…You and me, it's pulling me down. Tearing me down, piece by piece…"
I grabbed for the worktop and hauled myself up. Slowly, my grip weakened. I managed to whisper out, even in the depths of death…
"And you can't see, that it's like a disease."
Thud.
My head slammed against the floor, pain exploded in my forehead and the world crashed and jarred before my eyes as my consciousness died.
"Killing me now, it's so hard to breathe…"
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TBC.
The lyrics in this do not belong to me… Feeder are an amazing band and I would never try and make any money off of their songs.
*= "Can't stay, have a good day, now I've got to go!" is a line from Foghorn by the amazing, one and only 'A'.
The lyrics at the beiginning of Kazu's 'suicide' POV are from Nothing by 'A'. Likewise, 'A's 'Getting Around' lyrics are also in that piece. (Sorry. I do know that I am a fangirl.)