Chapter Two
Padme rolled over in the bed, awake, though she chose to keep her eyes shut. The smooth silken sheets ticked lightly over her bare skin and her toes wiggled with pleasure. As her hair rolled over her shoulder she could forget for a moment why she was here, and why there was a faint fearful feeling nudging at her heart. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to remember. I only want to love…
There was a movement behind her. Padme smiled, studying the bursts of color behind the lids of her eyes. Obi-Wan sighed and traced a pattern along her back. A giggle rose in Padme's throat but it was stifled as Anakin's face flashed before her eyes. No matter how hard they tried, they would never be able to get away from him, and still…Padme felt affection for him. No matter how far away they traveled she would never get away.
Padme silently slid out of bed, wrapping her bed sheet around her. Obi-Wan's hand hovered in the air, a perplexed look darting against his features, so boyish and yet so wise. Padme stifled a scream of frustration as her mind examined the trap she had been led into. And the person that had trapped her was none other then herself. She couldn't believe the mess she had made. She had married a man, and then secretly slept with another and whenever she was with one of them all she could think of was the other. They haunt me like evil spirits, Padme thought wildly, turning away from Obi-Wan's hurt gaze. What have I done?
"Oh, Obi-Wan!" she cried, slumping down onto the bed. Obi-Wan eased his body closer until he pressed against her, although his arms stayed at his sides and failed to wrap themselves around her, bringing comfort and bliss until he had to go away.
"I don't know what I've done," Padme said, her voice scratchy with fatigue and unshed tears. "I love you, Obi-Wan, but I also have some sort of feelings left for Ani and I suppose they'll never go away. Ever." Her voice sounded in quiet desperation, the voice of a woman that had made mistakes and was paying the imminent price.
Obi-Wan was silent, his soft breaths the only sound in the room. Padme closed her eyes and listen for a sound or a clue to his feelings. He exhaled softly and moved slightly, causing the bed sheets to rustle. He tapped his tongue on the roof of his mouth lightly. "Padme," he said calmly, "Listen to me."
A sob clawed its way up Padme's throat as she gripped the sheet tightly around her. "I'm listening," she whispered, her voice cracking with sorrow.
"You married Ani. I believe he did not force you into it," Obi-Wan said, turning Padme's face towards him with his hand. "Am I correct in that assumption?"
Padme exhaled sharply. "We don't need to play games, Obi-Wan," she said, the old firmness and stability of her voice layered over sorrow and happiness.
The smile faded off Obi-Wan's face and he paused before he continued. "You loved Anakin. I understand that, and I am not jealous. You know I know that I was not the only one," he said. "The marriage was a mistake," he whispered, stressing the last two words. "Jedi are not supposed to marry."
"But we did," Padme said in a monotonous tone, seeing the scene all over again. She saw the sunlight glinting off the lake and casting an ethereal glow over the ceremony. "It was a mistake," she whispered.
Obi-Wan looked at her, an understanding feel in his eyes. "Everyone makes mistakes," he murmured. "This was just a big one.
"But now you see," Obi-Wan continued, "some mistakes cannot be fixed so easily." His voice echoed Padme's sorrow. "I'll never completely have you, you see, firstly because I am a Jedi Knight, and secondly," here he paused, his breath softly stirring Padme's hair, "your body belongs to Anakin."
The full realization of this infiltrated Padme's heart and made it beat painfully. The blood coursed through her veins, pushed by anger and distress. "I belong to Anakin," she whispered. The urge for tears was overwhelming but this time the Senator in her pushed the tears back. She was not made to cry. She was made to work and to overcome her problems like the royalty that she had once been.
Padme stood up and let the sheet drop from her body as she made her way across the room to grab her robe. She wrapped the soft material around her and tied it with a string as she walked to her mirror. As she twisted her hair into one of the complicated hairdo's of Naboo sovereigns, she caught Obi-Wan's gaze in the mirror.
This is so wrong, Padme realized, her hands twisting her hair into the intricate knots and spirals. She threaded a gilded string through her hair and pinned it up. For a moment she saw herself as a young queen, before any of this had happened. That's in the past now, Padme said harshly to herself. I am not Amidala anymore.
Padme stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. Silence filled the small room. Obi-Wan did not stir from his position on the bed. Slowly, dreamily, Padme's hand reached up to the ribbon holding her hair in place. She cocked her head at her reflection and studied it for a moment. Then with one savage movement, she ripped the ribbon out.
Pins sprayed across the room as she shook her hair out of the knots and curls.
She was not Amidala anymore.
The wind whipped Anakin's hair, and the uncut strands fell into his eyes. His lips curled into a snarl and his eyes squeezed shut. For a moment he was back in the Temple, doing the old Force exercises.
At precisely the right moment Anakin leaped from the ledge and landed with a thud on a speeder. The cockpit flew open and he pushed the pilot out. The ship spiraled down and down towards the streets of Coruscant, and Anakin laughed wildly. At the last moment he pulled out and soared straight back up again, flying through busy intersections and ignoring the set street standards. He slammed down on the accelerator and zoomed towards the building that Obi-Wan and Padme where in now. It was conveniently located adjacent to the Jedi Temple.
Anakin took the lift up to their floor. Something inside of him was fearful. He was scared of himself. He laughed harshly as he stared out the transparent walls of the elevator. The city shrunk rapidly as he ascended into the night.
The doors slid open noiselessly. Anakin stomped down the corridor. He had no idea what floor he was on but he sensed that Obi-Wan and Padme were on the floor just above him. He stalked back down the hall to the lift just as its doors clicked shut.
"No!" Anakin roared at the descending machinery. He felt the dark Force gathering in his mind. A moment later the elevator came whirling back up. Anakin snickered. He was limitless.
To his surprise, there was someone in the elevator.
"Padme?" Anakin gasped, feeling like he had just been punched in the stomach. Padme stood on the elevator, surrounded with a fuzzy white light like some kind of vision. Padme squinted at him.
"Anakin?" Padme said.
"Padme," Anakin gasped again. His eyes rounded and all the rage he had felt previously surged back up within him. As Padme stepped off the lift he slammed her into the wall. "Why did you do this to me?" he roared.
"I'm not Padme," Padme said, her eyes fearful and pitiful.
"Who are you?" Anakin barked.
"Anakin," Padme said, "I'm Sabé, remember me? Amidala's decoy? I came to visit her, I heard she was here." Sabé studied him curiously. "I did not know you were here, though."
Anakin sighed, staring at the handmaiden. "Sabé," he said.
"Yes, Anakin," Sabé said patiently. "I am Sabé."
Anakin stepped back and released Sabé from his grip. She smiled, but pain showed in her eyes as she rubbed the spot on her neck where he had grabbed her. "Sorry," Anakin spat emotionlessly.
"It's alright," she said, smiling shakily. "You have a death grip, though." She took a moment to study him. "Are you alright? You look different." Sabé laughed. "Although it has been years since I had last seen you. You're all grown up," she said, smiling kindly.
"I've changed," he said.
"I see," Sabé said, her eyes glowing with the happiness of finding a lost friend. "I've wondered about you, all these years. How have you been?"
"Good," said Anakin automatically. He wondered why he was letting the little boy in him speak. When Sabé was around he didn't feel the overwhelming evil feelings he had felt before. The dark Force crept back into the recesses of his mind and lay there, forgotten, for this moment.
"I've been home, in Naboo, with my family," said Sabé. Her gaze traveled down his body until it rested on his waist. She gasped and her hand reached out slightly. "You're a Jedi!" she said, her voice full of pleasure as her eyes raced to meet his.
"Yes," Anakin said darkly, fingering the hilt of the blade. The lights from the corridor bounced off it onto his black cloak, causing eerie designs to form on the material. Anakin let his cloak drop back in place, hiding the lightsaber from sight.
"I'm so happy for you," Sabé whispered pleasurably. "I remember when we were on the ship, so many years ago, this is what you wanted to do." Sabé nodded happily. "You left your mother for this," she whispered. A sad tone crept into her voice and she blinked up at Anakin, biting her lip slightly.
"My mother is dead," said Anakin.
Sabé inhaled sharply. "No," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Why does she care? Anakin wondered. She didn't even know Shmi. Tears gathered in his eyes but he roughly wiped them away. He would not let anyone see him cry.
"I'm sorry," Sabé repeated, shifting uncomfortably.
"Don't be," said Anakin. An awkward silence filled the corridor. "Did all the handmaidens look this much like Padme?" Anakin asked finally.
Sabé seemed startled by his question. "All of us had resemblance to Amidala," Sabé explained, "but it was her and I that were mistaken for each other. We were best friends and sometimes, back in the palace before the invasion, we would play jokes on the servants." Sabé laughed, and her eyes glossed over, deep in memory. "Padme would dress in my tunic and I would put on her robes and then I would be queen for a day and no one ever noticed," Sabé said. "But then, there was the invasion and it was the real thing…and it wasn't fun anymore."
"Do you have a room here?" Anakin said after a pause.
"A room? Yes," Sabé said. An understanding look came into her eyes. "Do you need a place to stay?" she asked sympathetically.
"Yes," Anakin admitted. Sabé nodded unquestionably.
"Come with me," she said, taking his hand and leading him down the hallway.