It was a beautiful Sunday morning in Bikini Bottom when the silence of the
day was broken when Sponge Bob Square Pant's foghorn alarm clock went off.
Tripping over Gary Sponge Bob walked over to his desk and pulled out his
name every day a certain day list and looked up the day, "Wow Gary today is
happy day!" So quickly Sponge Bob ran to the window and shouted, "Happy,
uh? Hold on. If today is happy day then I don't want to say happy, happy
day. That sounds funny. oh well, I'll call it happy gay day." So Sponge Bob
yelled as loud as he could out the window. "Happy Gay Day everybody!"
Feeling good for saying hi to all of Bikini Bottom he closed his window and
went inside.
Not noticing Squidward who sat sunbathing in his front yard he couldn't
see how stunned he was by Sponge Bob's words. "Happy Gay Day? Does he mean
gay, gay?" Squidward wondered. Just then Sponge Bob came running out his
front door, "I'm ready! I'm ready! Oh, hi Squidward. Happy Gay Day. I got a
present just for you!" Sponge Bob handed him a huge blue box. Inside were a
fruitcake, potpourri, and the new Barbara Strisand CD. "Hope you like it
Squid-E-O-Pal." Then putting on his Krusty Krab hat Sponge Bob skipped off.
Squidward looked up at Sponge Bob as he pranced away wondering, "He really
does mean GAY, fruit cake gay. Oh my gosh this means he knows! I have to
stop him!" Jumping up to catch up with Sponge Bob Squidward dashed off. Not
thinking as he saw Sponge Bob in the distance he yelled, "Sponge Bob wait!
How did you know that I was gay? And why celebrate it?" Sponge Bob turned
quickly and stopped, "What Squidward? Your gay! Every one is gay on happy
day silly." Squidward then realized Sponge Bob had no clue what he was
talking about. "Your right Sponge Bob I'm happy today. Everyone's happy
today. I'm not a homosexual. Nope. No way. Bye Sponge Bob." Feeling
relieved Squid turned and ran fast as he could back to his home. Confused
Sponge Bob continued on his way to work.
"Mr. Krabs what is a homo-sexual?" "A homo.Well. you see lad. why do you
ask?" Mr. Krabs nervously answered. "Well, Mr. Krabs Squid said he was a
homo." "Mr. Squidward said that?" Krabs just couldn't believe what Sponge
Bob had said. "Well, a homo is someone who swings the other way.ummm. like
when you like the back door entrance. Do you know what I'm saying boy?" Mr.
Krabs patted him on the back. "But Mr. Krabs how can Squid swing on the
swing backwards and he always uses the front door when he comes to work or
when he goes home." "No, no my boy." Looking around Krabs whispered into
Sponge Bob's ear, "Mr. Squidward likes other men." Laughing and smiling
Sponge Bob stepped back, "Well, I know that Mr. Krabs Squidy has always
liked me and I like him we are best friends!" "No! He loves other men."
"Wow! Squidward loves me? I have to go tell him I love him to!" Sponge
Bob's smile reached cheek to cheek. Agitated Krabs screamed into the air,
"MR. SQUIDWARD IS GAY! NOT HAPPY GAY! HE WANTS TO DATE OTHER MEN! LIKE
BOYFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND! QUEERS! HE LIKES IT UP THE BUTT! BACK DOOR
BUDDIES!" Sponge bob looked like he was going to cry, "What? He can't be."
"Oh no Sponge Bob it's ok to be gay. Lots of people are. You just have to
except it my boy." With this exciting conversation going on Mr. Krabs never
stopped to realize that the whole Krusty Krab had heard Mr. Krabs say
Squidward was gay.
The whole restaurant started to gossip about Squidward being gay and before
you knew it all of Bikini Bottom knew Squidward liked men.
Later that day Patrick walked over and knocked on Squidwards door,
"Squidward I never knew." Squidward totally confused, "Never knew what
Patrick?" "That you liked guys." "I like what?" "Guys silly everyone knows
your gay." "What? How?" "Sponge Bob told us its okay we except you for who
you are." "O my God." Squidward fell to the floor thinking about everyone
knowing his deep secret. "Sandy said that you were a fruit I thought you
were a squid?" "I am Patrick." "She also said you were a flaming fa..fag..
FAGGOT, that's the word she used. But I don't see any flames?" Slamming the
door in Patrick's face Squid walked into the kitchen and picked up his
shell phone. RING RING. Sandy picked up on the other end, "Hello?" "Hello
Sandy" Squid answered meanfully.
