Harry's Disco Fever, a harry potter fanfic

A/n: Hello all!! As some of you may know, I am insane. For those of you who don't know, well, I am insane. Okay, since we're past that important little fact, let's get to talking about this chappie or I guess the whole fic, eh? Well, owing to the fact that I am insane, I decided to write a fic about some 70's songs and stuff but Harry Potter style for my amusement, but thought, what the heck?, why not make others laugh (hopefully…) so here it is, and if you guys like it then I'll write the next song and continue with my medley. kk, get to reading!

Disclaimer: The story and characters belong to that genius JKR and the song belongs to whoever wrote it…

Chapter 1: The Night of the Singing Dementors

Setting: HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban, after Peter has disappeared and Lupin has turned into a werewolf.

Harry and Hermione ran to Ron's side. Pettigrew had just transformed and Sirius, as the great shaggy black dog, had run after him across the grounds. Lupin was somewhere in the forest, in werewolf form. Ron was unconscious but, fortunately, still breathing. Harry had no idea what Pettigrew had done to him. Hermione was watching Ron while Harry looked around. To his despair, only Snape hung in midair, oblivious to what had just happened.

"We'd better get them up to the castle and tell someone," said Harry. "Come—" He was just about to help Hermione carry Ron when they heard yelping in the distance: Black needed their help.

"Sirius," Harry muttered.

He wanted to stay and help Ron, but what could they do for him? Black was still whining…Harry began to run, and Hermione followed suit. Black appeared to be near the lake.

Suddenly, Harry felt the cold, clammy feeling that could only mean—

Dementors. At least a hundred were gliding towards them, Sirius now in human form with his hands over his head. Fog clouded Harry's eyes as he saw more black hooded figures enclose them. There was only one thing to be done…

"Hermione, think of something happy!" Harry yelled as he raised his wand. He could hardly see and he could hear screaming inside his head.

I'm going to live with my godfather, I'm leaving the Dursleys.

He concentrated on Black, nothing else, as he chanted the spell Lupin had taught him: "Expecto patronum! Expecto patronum!"

He'll be all right. I'm going to go and live with him. Harry reassured himself that Black was all right, no matter how pale and weak he looked.

"Expecto patronum! Hermione, help me! Expecto patronum!"

Hermione had to help him… it was the only way…

"Expecto— " Hermione whispered, trying to follow along, "expecto – expecto – "

She couldn't do it. She didn't know how to. The dementors were within ten feet of them, encircling them, making them feel cold and feeble as they got closer and closer…

Harry was about to give up. Hermione had stopped trying to chant. They were not going to make it…

The dementors stopped abruptly. Harry and Hermione glanced at each other, bewildered. Everything was quiet for a fraction of a minute until—

Loud, booming music exploded all around them, and they looked on in horror as the dementors, all of them, began to dance around in circles. Some hooked their rotting arms around the other and dosey-doed. Harry had heard this song in the Muggle world…Uncle Vernon hated it very much…

The dementors kept dancing, and if their faces hadn't been hidden in shadows, they would have been smiling.

All of a sudden, they turned to face Sirius, raised one rotting finger and wagged it enthusiastically in his direction. Worst of all, they began to sing.

Young man! There's no need to feel down

Young man! Pick yourself off the ground

Young man, cuz you're about to die, there's no

NEED – TO – BE – UNHAPPY!!!

"What the hell?" Ron had come over, staring at the dementors with a look of disgust mixed with disbelief. Harry shrugged. Hermione's mouth hung open as they continued, now pointing their fingers at Ron.

Young man! There's a place you can go, I said—

Young man! When you're short on your dough

You can stay there! And I'm sure you will find many

WAYS – TO – HAVE—A GOOD TIME!!!

Now they began to jump and wave their hands in the air, their black cloaks flying behind them.

It's fun to stay at the

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

It's fun to stay at the

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

They have everything for your men to enjoy

You can hang out with all the boys

It's fun to stay at the

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

It's fun to stay at the

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,

You can do whatever you feel…

Keeping their feet on the ground again, they turned to Harry and wagged their fingers at him.

Young man! Are you listening to me? I said—

Young man! What do you wanna be? I said—

Young man! You should make real your dreams! But you

GOT – TO – KNOW—THIS – ONE THING!!!

No man does it all by himself, I said—

Young man! Put your pride on the shelf and just go there—

To the Y-M-C-A, I'm sure

THEY – CAN – HELP – YOU – TODAY!!!

Harry gaped at them as they started to jump again. "That doesn't make any sense!" he bellowed at them, but their singing drowned his yell out.

They saw Snape floating in midair, and waved their fingers in his direction. His eyes had snapped open and he was wearing an expression as sour as ever, only know he also looked furious.

Young man, I was once in your shoes, I said—

I was down and out with the blues, I felt

No man cared if I were alive, I felt

THE – WHOLE – WORLD – WAS TOO TIGHT!!!

That's when someone came up to me and said—

Young man! Take a walk up the street, there's a

Place there called the Y-M-C-A, they can

START – YOU – BACK – ON YOUR WAY!!!

Snape looked about ready to rip apart every dementor on the grounds as they threw themselves in the air, flailing their arms, and singing yet again, louder than ever.

It's fun to stay at the

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

It's fun to stay at the

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

They have everything for your men to enjoy

You can hang out with all the boys

Sirius lifted his head and groaned. "Can we please get on with this?" he screamed at the dementors. They looked him and continued singing.

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

YOU'LL FIND IT AT THE

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN, THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN!

YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN, GET YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND!

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

YOU'LL FIND IT AT THE

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN, WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE?

"ENOUGH!!!!!!!!" screeched Hermione. The dementors stopped jumping and looked at her. Harry and Ron had never heard her scream like this. Sirius had his head in his hands and Snape seemed to be thinking of the best way to kill them all.

Hermione scoffed. "What the hell is the meaning of this? It's all 'Young man!' What about women, eh? And what's with all this false and stupid stuff????!!!"

The dementors cocked their heads. "False?" they chorused.

"YES!!!!" Hermione bellowed. "Don't you see?! Snape's not a young man!"

The dementors turned to one another, nodding and muttering to each other.

"And what did we get out of this besides a load of shit?!" Ron asked the dementors. They seemed bewildered.

Sirius growled. "Can we finish this the way it's SUPPOSED to be finished?" he barked at the dementors. Then nodded reluctantly and waited while Ron and Snape returned to their designated spots.

Sirius smiled sarcastically. "Thank you," he said to the dementors. Then he muttered, "What a bunch of crap…"

Harry and Hermione turned to look at the dementors. They had started to close in again. Hermione looked puzzled.

"You're supposed to faint," muttered one of the dementors.

"Oh!" Hermione said. "Thanks." Then she collapsed next to Harry. Now he was alone…only a thin wisp of silver protruding from the end of his wand represented his Patronus.

His knees hit the dewy grass. Fog was obscuring his vision—he tried to remember—Sirius was innocent—We'll be okay—I'm going to live with him.

"Expecto patronum!" he managed to gasp.

Harry saw a dementor stop in front of the mist that was his Patronus. He pulled out a slimy, rotting hand from under its cloak and gestured as though to thrust his Patronus aside.

"No—no—" Harry pleaded. "He's innocent…expecto—expecto patronum—"

Their rattling breath invaded his hearing as he sensed them watching him. A dementor near him raised both slimy hands and lowered its hood.

Thin, gray, scabbed skin was stretched blankly over the place where its eyes should have been. It's mouth, a shapeless hole, sucked the air around it with the sound of a death rattle. Harry's Patronus died as Harry was gripped with terror.

The mist floating in front of his eyes blinded him. He had to try…he had to fight them…expecto patronum…he couldn't speak…he couldn't move…he couldn't see…he heard the familiar screaming…he clasped his hand on Sirius' arm…they couldn't take him…

The dementor took Harry's neck into its hands. The fog obscuring Harry's vision began to slowly vanish…what was happening? He could feel the dementor's putrid breath…he could hear his mum screaming…he opened his eyes—and almost screamed.

On the dementor's scabby head was—an afro!! Thick, curly black hair billowed in a great circle on his head. The dementor smiled, let go of Harry, and joined the others as they began to sing.

IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE

Y-M-C-A!!!!!!

"Nooooooo!!!!" moaned Sirius. "Not again!!!!!"

Hermione lifted her head and rolled her eyes. She stuffed her pinkies into her ears and shook her head.

Ron and Snape returned, both swearing beyond belief.

Harry looked at them all and shrugged. "If you can't beat 'em…join 'em!"

He and the dementors began to jump, threw their arms in the air and continued singing.

And the groaning of his friends, mixed with the singing of him and the dementors, drifted into the night.

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A/n: lol, I had fun writing this!! Anyway, review if you liked it!!! :::runs away singing and dancing like the dementors:::

Till the next insane chappie,

R/Hr Fan :::winks:::