Allrighty! The last chapter was horrible. I apologize once again. But now, I'm happy! I have a new chapter! And stuff happens in it! Yay for stuff happening! Okay. Enough said.

DeGrindemark Manor

Kel and Neal located a dressmaker's shop in the first major town they came to, a day and a half's ride from the pier. Kel bought three dresses, and, although the seamstress tried to convince her otherwise, all were free of lace and ruffles.

They spent the night in the town's inn, (Byrn slept on the rafter) and woke an hour after dawn feeling refreshed. The two knights had agreed that the best place to start looking was in the capital city, Caloria, so they set off for it as soon as they mounted.

Three hours later, Neal was fed up with the Copper Isle terrain.

"Ow!" he cried as the nineteenth bush jabbed him sharply in the side. "Mithros's loincloth! What is with this forest?"

Kel looked sullenly at her torn hem. "I don't know! I've never been in a forest this thick before! Tortallan forests are nowhere near this overgrown! And there's nowhere else to go—Ow!" She grabbed and broke the offending branch and flung it into the forest.

Neal looked down at Peachblossom, looking past Byrn, who was clutching the horse's mane. "The horses can't keep this up much longer. They're just throwing themselves at the brush — look, Peachblossom's already got a few ugly scratches, and even though Topaz is smaller, she has some scratches, too."

"Well, what are we going to —" Kel broke off. Ahead of them, she had heard a woman giggle.

"Oh, Edward, stop it!" The woman's tone was high pitched and flirtatious. She paused, and the two knights heard a man speak, but they couldn't make out what he said. The woman giggled again. "Edward, no! We can't do that . . . not here, anyway."

Just then, Topaz stepped on a branch. It cracked loudly, echoing through the forest. Kel swore softly. Immediately the voices stopped.

"Who's there?" Edward called warily.

Kel shrugged at Neal and guided Topaz through a bush, Neal right behind her. Both of their swords were in easy reach. They emerged into a small clearing, and were able to see Edward and the lady. It was evident from the way they were dressed that they were both nobles. Edward looked to be in his early thirties. He had light brown hair that already had some gray hairs in it. The lady looked to be a bit younger, maybe in her early twenties. Her hair was light blonde, and her face was extremely made up.

The lady gasped. She rushed to Topaz's side. "My lady! Your gown! It's torn!" She grabbed the aforementioned hem and smoothed her finger over it, clucking sorrowfully. Kel exchanged a horrified look with Neal, who just raised his eyebrows.

Edward strolled over to Neal. "Having a hard time in the forest, eh?" The man winked at Neal, who stared. Then he sort of jumped, and answered the man.

"Just slightly, yeah," he admitted. Edward chuckled.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Edward deGrindemark. This is my lady, Helena." Edward bowed. Helena curtsied. They both straightened up and looked expectantly at Neal.

"Oh, right," he said. "My name is . . . Gabriel. Gabriel . . . um . . . Queenscove. This is my lady . . . Madylene." Neal inclined his head deeply, and Kel copied him, relieved she wouldn't have to curtesy.

"Queenscove?" the lady tittered. "That sounds like a Tortallan name! How unfortunate!"

"A delight to meet you both! Where are you from? You're unquestionably not from around here — you'd know better than to go trekking in such baneful woods that we have here!" said Edward. He seemed to have an extensive vocabulary.

Kel glanced, panic-stricken, at Neal, but he didn't even blink. "We're from Carthak," he answered smoothly. "We just arrived here in your beautiful Isles, and unfortunately, we're lost. Do you think you could guide us to the nearest town, and perhaps to an inn you favor?"

"Of course! We'll have no trouble doing such. But you must allow yourselves to stay with us. We of noble breed must stick together, you know." The man winked at Kel and Neal again, then whirled on his heel, offered Helena his arm, and led the way to a small path hidden between the trees.

We of noble breed? Kel mouthed to Neal, eyebrows raised. Neal rolled his eyes: what can you do? He mouthed, We'll talk later. Kel nodded. She turned her horse and followed the Copper Isle nobles.

After a short and rather pleasant ride (the forest thinned out shortly after they left the clearing), Kel and Neal found themselves at the door of an enormous fortified manor with a sign out front identifying it as deGrindemark Manor. Edward and Helena didn't even bother to stop at the gate– they just kept striding forward.

"Hello, Bronsley!" called Edward cheerfully. The captain of the guard waved down at the two figures from his lookout post on the wall before leaning over and calling down. Immediately, the portcullis began to rise, and the two Tortallan knights led their horses slowly into the courtyard.

"Leave your horses, loves – we've got servants for that," called Helena. Neal swung down from Peachblossom, wincing slightly as he hit the ground.

"Leave it to your big dumb horse to make me saddlesore," he muttered to Kel. Peachblossom tried to bite him.

Kel dismounted from Topaz as ladylike as she could. Apparently, it wasn't ladylike enough for the lady Helena of deGrindemark Manor, because she frowned, slightly confused, then shook her head as if to shake away any doubts about their new visitors. Whirling around so her skirts flew out (skirts with numerous ruffles, Kel was horrified to see), Helena walked confidently to the large oaken double doors leading out of the courtyard and said in a impressive voice, "Welcome to deGrindemark Manor."

Edward walked up behind her and patted her shoulder as he said, "Now, you can come inside, as my lady has forgotten to mention. You should see where you will be staying."

Helena looked at him, somewhat peeved. "I didn't forget, love. I just hadn't mentioned it yet."

"Yes yes, Helena," said Edward absently. "Let's make haste, younglings. I haven't had my supper yet, and I'm thoroughly famished. I hope Cookie has made enough for four, though." He grabbed Helena's hand and led the group into the manor.

It took all of Kel and Neal's training to hold their jaws up. The entire manor was decorated with costly hangings and tapestries. It screamed old money – no, it didn't scream. It whispered and murmured of hidden safes and family heirlooms, and the two Tortallan knights felt acutely uncomfortable.

Once more, the two Copper Islanders strode ahead of Kel and Neal, leading the way through the cavernous halls. The two knights walked quickly behind them, not wanting to get lost.

Suddenly, Helena halted. "Dear!" she cried, looking at Kel. "You're hardly fit for dinner. How can you stand being so . . . dirty?"

Kel looked down. There was a tear above the hem of her gown on the left side, and three large spots of dirt on the front. She expected there to be more along the back, where saddle grease might have stained it. But that was hardly dirty.

"I . . . don't know! What, oh what am I going to do?" she said, wringing her hands. She caught a glimpse of Neal looking thoroughly amused at her acting.

Helena shook her head. "I'll send someone to fetch your saddlebags. I trust you have a suitable dinner gown packed?" she said shrewdly.

"Of course," Kel said smoothly.

Helena snapped her fingers. A serving boy appeared at her side. She whispered in his ear, and he left the party at a run. Helena directed Kel to an empty room.

"Three serving maids will meet you here." She looked depressed. "But I'm afraid there isn't enough time for a bath. Do you think you can manage, or should we send you supper in your rooms?"

"I'm sure I'll be able to look presentable in no time, Lady," Kel said soothingly, but inside she was appalled that the lady though she needed a bath. It was her clothes that were dirty. She was almost pristine!

Half an hour later, Kel followed a serving maid into a massive banquet hall, but the only table that was set was the high table – set on a ledge, above everyone else. Edward, Helena and Neal were already seated. The lord and lady sat and waited expectantly for Kel to sit. She walked up to her chairs, a servant came from the wings and pulled out her chair.

Kel sat – like a knight. She quickly realized her mistake and scootched up, smoothing her skirts like she had seen court ladies do, but it was too late. She looked up and saw Helena with that same expression – a sort of confused frown. Mentally, Kel could have kicked herself for making her disguise even more shallow than it had to be. She knew, or could guess, how to sit like a lady. Who knew how many more complicated things she'd have to guess at – the right degree of curtesy, how to greet newcomers.

"Brrrrrrring on the firrrrrst courrrrrse!" called the servant, startling both the Tortallans.

The first course was a fresh garden salad. After that, mock turtle soup. After that came four more courses – not including dessert. The courses kept coming, until Kel was about ready to die from eating too much.

"Enough!" cried Edward enthusiastically. "If I eat any more, my breeches will burst! And we don't want that. At least, not until later . . ." he added with a sly glance at Helena.

"Edward!" she said, reddening.

"Ahem." Neal coughed politely. The lord and lady turned to look at him. "We really are quite tired–"

"Of course!" cried Edward. "Wandering lost in a forest is no way to spend an afternoon!"

"– and we would appreciate it if we could retire to our rooms," Neal finished.

"Of course!" Edward cried again. As well as being somewhat of a walking thesaurus, he was also very excitable. "JOSEPH!"

Both Tortallan knights jumped at the man's unexpected booming call. A servant boy, no older than Neal and Kel themselves, peeked his head from the wings.

"Come here, boy." Edward motioned towards the table. The boy walked hesitantly toward them. "Show these good people to the biggest guest wing we have, please – and be quick about it!"

"As you wish, milord," said the boy with a bow. He turned, and bowed again to Kel and Neal. "Follow me, please, milord and milady." Joseph turned smartly and led the way out of the hall.

Before they could push their chairs back, the other servant came and pulled them. Kel and Neal stood up. Neal lifted his arm, bent at the elbow. Kel stared at him. Neal raised his eyebrows the slightest bit and inclined his arm. Kel suddenly realized what she was supposed to do, and laid her arm on top of his, so her fingers laid on top of his.

"We thank the generous lord and lady for a magnificently prepared meal, and for their hospitality in letting us stay in their manor," Neal said elegantly.

"Yes," agreed Kel, a little belatedly.

"My pleasure, Gabriel – and of course, same to you, Lady Madylene," he added with a wink. Helena inclined her head.

"If you will, milord and milady?" said Joseph mildly. They turned and followed him out the door, once again following close behind his quickly walking figure. He led them to a set of double doors and produced a key from somewhere in his uniform.

"Here is the key, milord," he said, presenting it to Neal. Neal thanked him, and the boy turned and walked away. Neal opened the doors to the guest rooms. They were almost the size of the banquet hall.

"Mithros." Neal shook his head. "These people don't do 'small.'"

Kel sank into a heavily cushioned armchair. "Neal, I can't do this. I screwed up so many times just tonight! I think that Helena woman knows something's amiss. We have to get out of here – quickly!"

"Well, m'dear," Neal drawled. "There's nothing we can do about it tonight, so . . . " he gestured at the bed. "Let's go to sleep, or at least . . . to bed," he finished with a suggestive look on his face.

"Very well, Lord Gabriel," Kel drawled right back. "But let me get out of this disturbing garment first," she added normally, grimacing at her gown.

"That would be part of the process, yes," said Neal slowly. Kel laughed, and didn't protest when he pulled her into his embrace.

So. I liked that chapter! I liked writing it, and I like Edward and Helena. I think they're cool. Just a few notes . . . 1) At the beginning of Squire, the butcher says, "Mithros . . ." then looks at Kel and changes whatever he's going to say to shield. I'm assuming it was something, hmmm, less than appropriate for PG-13 rating, so I'm keeping it to loincloth because it's funny, 2) Wandering lost in the woods is a personal experience. As in I was lost in the woods for five hours in the dark with fourteen people and one flashlight and thick bushes. If you are interested and want to learn more about this experience, I will be more than happy to oblige you through email, 3) The mock turtle soup is a reference to Alice in Wonderland, because that book is the best ever, 4) I always wanted to name someone Bronsley because it's such a dumb name, which is why the captain of the guard is named Bronsley, and 5) Salad course, then soup course is actually the proper way to start a multiple course meal. Oh, and also, I think the part at the end is really cute – between Neal and Kel. Oh, and also, I used a lot of –––'s in this chapter, if you didn't notice. It bothers me but oh, well.

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD. Lady Knight comes out in my area on AUGUST 27!!!!!!! Today is AUGUST 8!!!!! Technically, AUGUST 9, since I'm writing past midnight!!!! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!

Long author's note. Sorry. Oh wait. SHOUTOUTS! Yay for reviewers! I love you all! *sobs like winning miss america* Keep reviewing, and check back because I know where I'm going with the story, I just have to write it!

Hannah – replies to your comments, in order: thank you; I noticed that too!; thank you; why not?! They're MADE for each other!; I highly doubt it; yes I am; thank you; okay, here it is; thank you; you're welcome.

Songbreeze the Omnipresent – The next chapter is here! Yay! And I do italics by writing my story in microsoft word, under html format. I just hit command-i and I get italics, and then save as .html and upload, and POOF! Italics! (god I love computers . . . well sort of, if they didn't crash I'd love them more.)

Kaye – Get another roll of film, because (as you know if you're reading this,) she's been in a dress or two for the entire chapter.

KeladryLadyKnight – Thank you much! I worked really hard on the plot (it had been itching my brain for a while) and I'm glad someone thinks this isn't too long, because I was beginning to wonder . . .

Loony – Yes, Kel in a dress is funny. Yes, they are perfect for each other. (HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT SEE THAT?!?!) Yes, Neal is pretty damn hot. (Is this wrong? To think a character in a book is hot? I hope not, because Neal's not the only one . . .) Yes, Brandon Boyd is hot, and I LOVE THE GUY WHO PLAYS OLIVER WOOD!!! His name is sean biggerstaff (HAHA! Biggerstaff! Let's hope so . . . hee hee!) and he rocks my world. And yes, Cleon is an evil son-of-a-bitch who needs to die.

The Dark Lady – Thank you!

Dragon Girl Revlis – HA! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD EVERYONE! THE CHAPTER WAS BORING! Whew. I knew someone would agree with me! and I think this one's much better – do you?

Clarylissa – Thanks!

Faithful – You have no idea how glad I am that my writer's block is gone! And I hope it's one of the best, I spend enough time on it. *growls at computer* although that's mostly working with this damn mac that hates me . . .

Camp Writer – Yeah, it worked out something like that. I think. Sort of . . .

Dragon Queen – No, I haven't been silenced by government spies or squashed by bugs . . . but now I'm scared I'm going to be. I don't think you can buy Shrillskins at a pet shop . . . yet, but who knows, what with all the bioengineering going on. And hooray hooray for little birdies!!!

Okay, I think I got everyone. If I didn't, review again and tell me, and then I'll say hi! Okay, so review review! Everyone review!

AUGUST 27!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I can't wait that long.