Okay. You know those cookies I mentioned at the end of the last chapter? Something is seriously wrong with them. I'm depressed. I don't have Lady Knight and I can't bake cookies. What is wrong with me?

To stave off my lousy cookie anxiety, I wrote another chapter, so read on! And it's really long and cool, so I think you will all enjoy it! It explains things that needed explaining.

Confusion And A Very Purple Dead End

Kel sat at a table in her rooms, yawning over a breakfast pastry and a cup of orange juice. Neal was sitting next to her, absently stirring the milk in his cereal bowl.

"Well, I had fun last night," Neal finally said. "Didn't you?"

Kel rolled her eyes. "Neal. I'm really not in the mood."

"Overall, I think it could have been better — I mean, didn't you think the ball was overlong? — but as it was—"

"Neal! Have you forgotten why we're here? Not for balls, or for banquets! Did you even hear the King's announcement last night? We came her to try and find the Fifth, and we aren't any closer to finding it than we were when we got here! We have to find it!" Kel buried her face in her palms and rubbed her eyes, sighing heavily.

"All right, all right! Calm down. The King's Gala starts at two o'clock today, and we can't skip it because that would be way too conspicuous. But assuming that we have to go to the Gala, we have until one o'clock to ourselves, because at one, we have to start getting ready. So . . . it's seven o'clock now — that's . . . um . . . six hours. We'll come up with something in six hours, we have to!" Neal sat back, done with his tirade. They sat together in silence for a few minutes.

Suddenly Kel jumped and leaned forward. "Oh, Mithros! Where's Byrn?!"

Neal looked stricken. "I . . . don't know. I haven't seen her since two days ago!"

"Oh, gods. Oh, gods," Kel moaned. "We lost her!"

"Wait – Just wait a second, Kel." Neal held up a finger. "It's not like she was ours to lose."

"That doesn't matter! She was here, with us, and now she's not! She's gone!"

"Yes, but – I don't think she's lost."

"What are you talking about? Explain. Now." Kel crossed her arms over her chest.

"Okay. Remember how we came across her? She just . . . appeared in the woods, right?" Kel nodded. "We had nothing to do with it. We didn't find her, or save her, or anything that impacted how she appeared to us. In fact, she just came down and landed, remember?" Kel nodded, slower this time as she saw where he was going.

"Well, who are we to think that we had any control over her at all?" Neal continued. "She's an immortal, Kel, with her own will and a smarter mind than we even know. I think that she left us of her free will as well. The last time we saw her was right before we met Edward and Helena. It's like she deliberately left us because she knew it'd be too hard to hide her. And I think that she'll find us again – when the time is right." Neal took a deep breath after talking so much.

"I guess that makes sense," Kel said reluctantly.

"It does," said Neal, with more conviction than he felt. "Now, what's the clue for the Fifth?"

Kel recited: "Protected by crashing white, blue and purple, underneath thy feet upon crazed shore. So . . . we know that 'crazed shore' is the Copper Isles, and we're here, so at least that part is done with. Hopefully, 'crashing white and blue' points to the coast, because that's the only logical thing I can think of. And obviously, 'underneath thy feet' means under the ground. But that still leaves the purple part."

"I'm guessing that's the key to the whole thing," said Neal, frowning as he thought.

"It would seem to be that way, wouldn't it?" said Kel sarcastically.

"No need to get in a tizzy at me, Lady Knight," Neal said bad-temperedly. "I'm trying to work things out, just as you are." They sat in silence again.

"I'd guess our first task is to find something purple," Neal finally said.

"That shouldn't be hard, what with how much this King likes it," Kel retorted.

Neal's eyes lit up. "Kel, that's it! It's here! In the Palace, because the Palace is on the shore – remember, we saw it yesterday when we came in – and we're in the Copper Isles, and there's purple everywhere! Especially in –"

"The Throne Room!" Kel finished excitedly. "It has to be in the Throne Room!"

"But we were in there yesterday," Neal said, suddenly sober. "And there was nothing suspicious."

"Do you really think they'll leave it out for everyone to see? There's probably a hidden door, or something, I don't know. But it has to be there. The Throne Room is all purple. Okay. Here's what we'll do to get in . . . "

***

Kel peered around the corner. The corridor was empty. She motioned to Neal, and they both quickly walked into the deserted hall.

Suddenly, Kel slowed down. "Neal, this doesn't look at all familiar. Did you take a wrong turn again?!" she whispered furiously.

Neal furrowed his brow. "No, I'm almost positive . . . " He trailed off as he strode down the hall to the next corner. He whipped around, triumphant. "See? The Throne Room is right there! I knew I was right! And there's no one in the hall, either."

"Good boy," said Kel, walking past him and patting him on the head.

"You'll pay someday," Neal muttered.

"And of course no one's in the hall. They're all at the ball," Kel told him.

"Hey, that rhymed," said Neal.

She rolled her eyes. "Neal. Focus."

"Right. Focus."

"Okay." Kel halted in front of the Throne Room door. "Now we need to figure out how to open the door."

"Maybe there's a password," Neal suggested.

"OPEN," Kel said forcefully. Nothing happened.

"I COMMAND YOU TO OPEN," said Neal. Nothing happened.

"PLEASE LET US IN," said Kel. "PLEASE," she added. Nothing happened. They paused.

"Hey," said Neal. "Did you try —" He reached out and grabbed the handle. It turned easily in his palm, swinging forward noiselessly to let them into the incredibly purple Throne Room. Neal floated past Kel, a smug look on his face. She ignored him.

"All right." Kel turned around after shutting the door, her hands on her hips. "Search the whole room. Look at all the cracks and behind all the tapestries — everywhere. I'll take the left side, you take the right side."

They spread to their respective sides. Silence reigned in the deserted violet room. Both moved slowly down towards the thrones, neither finding anything worth exploring further. They met behind the thrones after five minutes.

"This would be the most logical place to hide something," Kel mused. "Right behind the thrones, the least accessible place in the room."

Neal nodded in agreement. He turned to face the wall. An enormous tapestry, woven in shades of violet, covered the entire back wall. They both leaned down and pulled up the bottom of the tapestry, holding it over their heads. Both knights slipped under the tapestry, and then let it fall.

The tapestry was surprisingly heavy, and when they let it go it slammed the two of them into the wall with considerable force. It also released clouds of dust after hitting the wall. Kel and Neal coughed frantically, trying to get their breaths back after the wind had been knocked out of them.

Once they had recovered, they both began to slide their hands along the cool stone, trying to find something, anything, that would indicate a hidden room.

After a few minutes, Kel heard Neal mutter, "Kel? I think I found something." Kel slid along until she was next to him. The side of her hand hit his, and she felt with her fingers until she felt what he had noticed.

"It feels like a corner, don't you think?" he asked her.

She nodded, then said "Yes," when she realized he couldn't see her movement. She felt a crack running vertically that took a 90 degree angle about a foot above her head. It continued off to the right, on the other side of Neal.

"Here, see if you can find the other end," Kel told him.

Neal sidled off to the right. A few seconds later, he said, "I found the other corner." His voice sounded about three feet away. "So it's definitely a door."

"Yeah," Kel agreed. "Now we just have to figure out how to open it."

"Let's try the obvious first this time, what do you say?" Neal drawled. "Push on three. One . . . two . . . three." They both pushed against the rectangular cutout outlined by the cracks. Soundlessly, the block of stone slid inwards and off to the left, leaving a gaping hole in the wall. Wordlessly, the two knights slipped into the doorway, Kel drawing the dagger from her waist as she moved. Beside her, Neal drew his blade.

As soon as they passed through the doorway, lightglobes flared into life, hurting their eyes after the darkness of the other side of the tapestry. The light they provided revealed a plain room, with only a bed in one corner and a small table in the middle of the room. The table had some candles on it.

Kel and Neal stared.

"Okay, well . . . you take the left, I'll take the right," said Kel finally.

It took them scant minutes to search the room from top to bottom. They found absolutely nothing worth investigating, not even flaws in the stone.

"Well, if this isn't a saferoom, what in the Black God's Realm is it?" Neal asked.

Kel opened her mouth to answer, but then froze. She could her voices in the Throne Room! People were in it! She looked frantically at Neal. Simultaneously, they ran to the rectangular slab that served as a door and pushed it. It slid back into place. The lights went out. Sounds from the Throne Room cut out.

A minute passed. Kel had just begin to let out her breath in a sigh of relief when she saw movement in the gloom where the door was. They were coming into the hidden room! As fast as a thought, Kel reached out for Neal's arm, but instead she hit him right in the stomach, driving the air from his lungs in a rush of sound. She located his arm and grabbed it, then dragged him under the bed — the only decent hiding place in the entire room. The lights turned on in seconds after they were fully under the bed.

She saw two pairs of legs enter the room. One pair was dressed in expensive dress hose, and the other in shabby brown fabric. Dress Pair turned around and pushed the door back into place.

"Did you hear something?" said a man's voice. Kel stiffened. She had heard that voice recently.

"Nothing," said another voice, dismissing the first man's observation without thinking. It was raspy, too low. "Why do we meet in this deserted room?"

"It's the only room that's soundproof. And no one knows it's here."

"Except the whores you bring and bed." Kel's eyes widened in shock and disgust. So that was what the room was for. And she had almost placed the voice she knew . . .

She looked over at Neal and almost gasped. He was still trying to get his wind back, and he looked like he was about to choke in the dust under the bed. Then as she watched, Neal cleared his throat in a small noise.

"There! Did you hear that?" The first man's voice was immediate.

"Nothing!" The raspy voice was losing patience. "You're too jumpy, Marcel!"

The first voice gave a heavy sigh. "Perhaps you're right. I've had a lot on my mind lately, with the Gala and all."

"You spend more time with the 'Gala' than need be, Marcel. Your sights should be oriented on the war, not some petty soiree."

"But I like my Gala . . ." whined the man.

Kel's eyes widened. It was the King! She glanced at Neal and saw that he had came to the same conclusion she had. Kel turned her attention back to the conversation the King was having.

"—and you will be greatly rewarded." The raspy voice was talking.

"I don't see why—"

"Fool!" The voice grew in timbre and forcefulness. "You don't need to see! You must do! If you do not do as we command, your punishment will be eternal! We need the pesky Tortallans and their thrice-blasted Champion" — he practically spat out the title — "gone from their realms! We are almost there! If you back out now, your soul will float in the Midway forever! Do you understand?"

"Y—Yes," stuttered the King, plainly scared out of his wits.

The raspy man continued, almost screaming. "When you and the three others conquer those contemptible mortals, Uusoae, Ruler of Chaos, will reward! If you fail, I, Ichaeruut, Lord of Confusion, will create a punishment that will exceed your darkest nightmares!"

The King had backed up against the wall opposite the Ichaeruut. He flattened himself as if he could melt through the walls.

"I take my leave of you. We will talk again once I consult with Uusoae. Be ready." Looking out from under the bed, Kel saw two pair of feet, and then, one. No smoke, sound, or spell. Ichaeruut was gone.

Well! The plot thickens! And just for your information, Ichaeruut is pronounced "Ick-a-root." If that helps any, I'm glad. That was a fun chapter to write.

Actually, ya know what? I really don't care who Kel ends up with, as long as it's NOT CLEON. CLEON DRIVES ME OVER THE EDGE. *takes a deep breath* ooooookay. I'm all right. NOT CLEON. NOT CLEON. Ooooookay. But we all know it's either Neal or Cleon, right? Right. Or I guess Dom maybe, but I doubt it. NOT CLEON. ARGH. THAT WOULD MAKE ME INSANE. Just like the guy in Blue Crush. Has anyone else seen that movie? The guy in that movie was an asshole. He really bugged me. Okay. That was off the subject. I'm off to write the next chapter.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. OKAY. I'M REALLY PISSED. Some crazyass lunatic put the spoilers for Lady Knight IN THEIR AUTHOR'S NOTE WITHOUT A F***ING WARNING!!!!!!!!!!! (notice how even though I'm extremely pissed, this is still PG-13.) And after making myself wait so long, I find my self-resolve dead as a doornail JUST BECAUSE I wanted to read a story that turned out to suck anyway. Either way, I'M STILL INCREDIBLY INFURIATED. I HAD TWO DAYS TO GO. Argh. Have to stop now before I realize how futile this is. Bye now. I'll be posting again soon. Oh, and see the pretty light blue button? Press it and leave me a quickie review, s'il vous plait (sorry all francophones out there, but I don't know how to make a circonflex [ or however you spell it] on my computer.) thankee all!

Oh, and replies! I got sooooo many reviews that I feel compelled to write replies! Make me feel that way again and review some more!

Fan73goten: I was actually going to have Edward and Helena figure it out, but I decided on something different . . . read the next chapter to find out . . . well, when it's up, anyway.

KeladryLadyKnight: *sits up in chair indignantly* No-you-canNOT have my story! And I know I'm going so slowly that it seems like I've abandoned it, but I haven't! Really!

Larzdinn: Yeah, this is Sunday, and chapter 26. HAHA. HAHA. School starts on Monday? Where do you live? We still have a week and a half left. And I had fun writing about the green creation. And YAY FOR DRIVING! Except the first time I drove, in a parking lot, no less, I almost hit this kid in a green go-cart that was zipping around me.

Loony: I WAS! I CONFESS! I WAS TRYING TO THROW YOU OFF! And obviously, it worked! So AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA back to you! and you CAN'T answer my K/C anxiety! But the thing is, I want to know if the spoilers the person posted were true, but I don't want to know. So I guess I'm stuck until Tuesday. Which is TWO DAYS AWAY. The closer I get the harder it gets.

Lady Fire Eyes: okay, so you don't get it for a month. But you live in england, which compensates for that. And I hoped you liked the chapter!

Pen Pen: HAHAHAHA. Cling-on of Kinkyland. I LOVE IT. never heard it before. And I was going to kill him off, but then decided that major decisions, i.e. killing, marriage, are best left to the Master of Tortall herself, Tamora Pierce. I just take her characters and screw around with them in their present states. Especially Neal. *Neal raises chained hands in demonstration* And I can't believe you think my story would be good enough to replace Topic That Must Not Be Mentioned! (TTMNBM, from now on) That's highest praise. And job applications are definitely yuck.

Keita: yes. Yes you would be the early-book-getter making me feel like imploding. Be happy for yourself!

Clarylissa: I like Neal being irritated by bushes, too. That's why I wrote it! Neal didn't like it, though . . . *Neal pulls sleeve up to show scratches on arm* Don't worry. He'll be okay.

Felix da Feline: yes, ff.net stories are awesome when you have nothing to read. But, if you're anything like me, you have SUMMER READING! *winces* I really do need to read those books . . . oh well. and we have TWO DAYS LEFT.

Songbreeze the Omnipresent: what does "Well. Well. Hole in the ground. Bucket," mean? I'm very confused. And mmmmmmmmm. Seannnnnnnnn.