Title: Daraku/Looking for better name.
Author: SynsOrion
Content: NC-17: mention of rape and sex, adult situations.
Discription: A killer that has split personalities realizes his love for a renounced nun. Original story and characters. This is a section of another story that was hand written, which isn't complete yet, not by any means. Inspired by Kenshin. Please no flaming. If you want to hear more please r & r. If I get enough interest in the story I'll try to write more.
~*~
Kokoro wiped blood from his forehead, took a small glance at it, then rubbed it onto his habit. His whole body was sore and wounds covered it. Daraku had lost…but only because of the numbers. There had been way too many. And now his mask was gone as well. He'd have to go back to using his glasses. His toe caught under a root and, unable to stop himself, he fell to the ground in a heap of brown cloth and blood. He lay there for a moment, glad for the brief rest, then struggled to his feet and kept going. He had to leave. He couldn't stay here…with all the dead bodies…and Kaiki…she was gone as well. Everyone, every single person that he had met when he had come to the small town was gone. Tears fell from his eyes as he thought of the expression that had been on Kaiki's face…
*
"Kokoro!" Ana saw his brown habit before she saw him. She ran over and knelt down next to him, Kokku was with her. The young monk was laying face down in the mud, unconscious. She rolled him gently onto his back and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, a look of worry upon her face as she beheld the sores that he had. His glasses lay nearby, one lens cracked and both covered with a layer of dried mud. "Kokoro…please. Open your eyes. It's Ana. Please." They had tracked him down all this way…
Kokku knelt down next to her. "Ana, let me try something." She nodded as she moved out of the way for the cook. He pulled a canteen off his belt, took a small drink, then, after glancing at Kokoro, slapped him. "Get up, Kokoro!"
The monk blinked his eyes, looking at the two faces that were above him. "Kokku…Ana. How…?" He blinked his eyes, the flood of memory coming back all at once. Everyone he had met when he had left the monastery…they were gone… He moved into a sitting position closing his eyes tightly. He didn't have his glasses on…why wasn't Daraku trying to take over his body?
"We found the town that you had been living in. It was gone." Ana paused, knowing what had happened and choosing not to talk about that. "We heard that you had been ambushed. We tracked you down, Kokoro. Please, come back with us."
He shook his head. "No. I can't go anywhere. Everyone…everyone always dies." He could see them, see their faces, their expressions of surprise and fear… God would never forgive him for bringing this to all the people that he'd met. He knew that God forgave every sin. But…not this, not for all the times that he'd done it. There was no hope for him. He turned his face from their sight. "Please, leave me. Go back to the monastery. You can't help me Ana."
"What is all this nonsense! You're hurt! I'm not gonna just let you suffer because of your stubbornness! You're coming with us, weither you want to or not," Ana declared. Kokoro shook his head. Ana gave Kokku a pleading look. "You woke him up, you figure out how to get him to agree to come along."
"All right." Kokku unshouldered his pack and, opening it, began to search through it. "You like my homemade soup, don't you, Kokoro?" The monk gave him a nod. "That's nice to know," Kokku stated as he struck him upon the head with his wooden ladle.
"Kokku! Why'd you do that?" The cook was putting his ladle away as he looked up at Ana's shocked face. He gave her a lopsided grin as he fasted his pack closed then swung it unto his shoulders.
"Well, he's not objecting to coming back to the monastery there now is he?" Ana couldn't argue with the results though, because, like any one who was unconscious, Kokoro couldn't argue. But, that also meant that they had to carry him.
*
"Okay," Kokku declared. "Time for a break!" They laid the still unconscious Kokoro down then slid their packs off and sat upon the ground. "Lessee." He started looking through his pack. "I think that soup…" he looked over at Ana who shook her head at him. They'd been eating soup almost constantly and she was starting to grow sick of it. "Fine, fine. How about some beef? Perhaps a bit of bread and…" he paused, trying to think of what he had left in his pack. "Cheese? And I believe that I can hear a stream in that direction," he pointed to the left. "So we'll be having cool water as well."
Ana nodded with a smile. "Sounds good. I guess that I'll start the fire while you go and get the water." He nodded as he took two canteens with him then left. Ana began to gather dry wood from the ground for the fire.
Daraku had woken. He glanced around, and, seeing Ana, smiled. He stood, his legs slightly shaky, and went over to her, brushing her hair over her shoulder and started placing light kisses upon her neck, causing her to drop what wood she'd gathered. He was glad to be with her once more, there were so many things that he wanted to do…
"Da--Daraku…" she knew it was him, Kokoro wouldn't do something like this. She remembered the last time that she was with him, the time that had caused Kokoro to leave the monastery. "I--I'm supposed to be collecting wood for the fire."
"It can wait," he stated bluntly as he continued to place feathery kisses upon her sensitive skin. She shivered. He brushed his hand over her hair then let it trail down her back and come to rest on her side. "Come here a sec." He pulled her to him and kissed her.
"Um…am I interrupting something here? I can go get more water, you know." Kokku was standing there, watching them, the filled canteens in his hands. Daraku looked up, anger from the fact that he had been interrupted evident in his face and eyes.
Ana pulled away from him and began to pick up the wood once more, her face flushed. Daraku watched her for a brief moment before letting Kokoro take the body back over.
Kokoro looked at Ana, slight surprise in his eyes. She looked at him questioningly. "He--he wasn't going to hurt you. I wonder why…" he sat down, wincing at the pains that flared at the movement.
Ana knelt down next to him. "Here. I've neglected to look at your wounds until now. Let me see your chest a second so I can see what needs to be done." Kokoro nodded as he slipped the top of his habit down so that it was still attached at were the belt circled his waist. She looked him over, shaking her head slowly. It wasn't looking good. The sores were already infected. She gently prodded one with a fingertip, noticing the young monk wince at the pain. She took a deep breath. The infected liquid should be squeezed out of the wounds before she bandaged them. "Kokku? Can you boil some water?" The cook nodded. She turned back to Kokoro. "I'm sorry but this is gonna hurt a bit." She began to pinch each one of his inflamed wounds as yellowish-clear liquid seeped from them. Kokoro bit on his lip as he endured the pain.
Kokku had started a fire almost immediately and already had the water on. He was gathering more dry wood as the liquid came to a boil. "Okay," he stated to Ana. "The water's boiling. Now what?"
She looked over her shoulder and into the woods. "Do you see that plant with the thick, green and whitish leaves?" Kokku looked and, after a brief moment, nodded. "Good. Get some of the leaves and boil them with the water for about ten minutes or so until it becomes a paste. I'll use it as an ointment for his wounds." She went to get her pack. "And I'm glad that I brought my mending kit. It'll have to do, it's for clothes but I do have some thick thread." She looked further into her pack. "I guess that I'll have to use one of my dresses for gauze, I don't have anything else." She pulled a plain white garment out of her bag and began to tear it into strips.
"It's getting kinda goopy now. That's what you wanted right, sister? Oh, sorry, I forgot that you're not a nun any more." Kokku was stirring the thick paste with a stick that he had found.
"It's alright, Kokku. Yes, that's what I wanted. Could you bring it over here?" A few seconds later, he set the pan down by her then went back to the fire to cook their meal.
"You--you're tearing up one of your dresses?" Ana nodded to Kokoro's question. "You didn't have to--" he stated, suddenly feeling guilty. She couldn't possibly have that many cloths that she could just waste one.
"It's all right. It's to help you so I don't mind. Now, try not to move too much." The monk nodded as she began to rub the salve on him. There was a slight stinging sensation but nothing too bad. "This one's gonna need to be stitched up." Ana bit a piece of thread off her spool, threaded her needle, and began to sew Kokoro up. That, as might be expected, hurt worse. "I'm sorry."
"It--it's all right." He frowned then. "Wait. You're not a nun any more?" She shook her head. "Why?" He was quite for a second and then guilt filled his eyes. "It's my fault, isn't it? It's because I raped you."
"Daraku raped me, not you. Besides--" she paused. "I--I had to. Now, please be quiet, I don't want to mess up." Kokoro mumbled an apology and became silent once more.
About an hour later she had finished her job of bandaging. They had taken a break in the middle because the cook had finished the meat and had insisted that if they didn't eat it right away it would get cold and it tasted better the first time that it was cooked. It had tasted wonderful to the monk, who hadn't eaten in about two days.
They had finally convinced Kokoro to go back to the monastery and so they started the journey back, the monk's two friends helping to hold him up as they continued down the dirt path.
*
They stopped for the night and, after having a small supper, lay down by the fire to sleep. Kokoro had curled himself into a ball near the warm flames and had fallen asleep almost instantly…and that was when Daraku had chosen to come out.
Daraku sat up glancing around. He spotted Ana's form, curled under a blanket, to the right of him, the cook's to the left. He grinned and, after going over to her, slipped under the blanket with her, pulled her body to his and went to sleep, his hand on her side.
*
Ana awoke the next morning and almost screamed. She realized, however, that Daraku must've joined her during the night and never left. A small smile touched her lips. He wasn't that bad of a man. She rolled over so that she could look at him, sleeping peacefully, like a little child. Her movement had caused him to wake up. His eyes opened slowly. When he realized where he was he bolted up and away from her. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I--I didn't mean to! I didn't realize that Daraku would try to do something to you at night! It's just that, when I'm asleep he can--"
"It's alright, Kokoro," Ana stated with a small smile of amusement. "Daraku didn't do anything to me. If he had, I would've woken up. Nothing happened. He just slept by me, that was all. There's nothing to be worried about, okay?" Kokoro stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out if she was being truthful or not and then gave her a small nod. "Come on, we've gotta get more wood for the fire. You wanna help me look for dry wood?" Kokoro nodded.
They went off into the woods to retrieve kindling for their dying fire, as they left the sleeping cook behind. He was lying on his back, his arms and legs sprawled out, and smile plastered upon his face, as he mumbled something to the effect of; "Don't you dare touch that soup or you'll feel the sting of my ladle." He woke a half an hour later to find himself alone. "Where--where is everyone?!"
*
"Hey, Ana, I wanna show you something." He called to her. They both had a bundle of twigs and dead tree limbs that they had gathered and set in a pile for when they would go back.
Ana followed the sound of his voice. "Where are you? I can hear you but I can't see you." She ducked in to a bramble of vines and overhanging branches searching for him.
"I'm right here." He gave her a smile. "You found me yourself." He motioned to the scenery before them. "Isn't it beautiful?" There was a large waterfall surrounded by lush green trees and vines. A rainbow arced itself over a pool at the bottom of the waterfall. She nodded, too amazed to speak. She let out a small gasp as she felt his arms come around her. "…Ana…" she turned her head so that she could just see his face. His eyes were Daraku's but didn't fit him. It was an expression that he didn't use hardly at all, one of love. There was no hate or anger in them. He pulled her closer to himself then kissed her, using his tongue to trace her lips gently. When he pulled away from her, her face was red. "I'm sorry that I hurt you before. I'd like to make it up to you."
"You--you didn't hurt me, not too much." She sighed closing her eyes as she enjoyed the closeness of his body to hers. Why was he sorry for raping her? He was Daraku, and Daraku never felt remorse for any of his actions. "How do you want to make it up to me?"
"I want to have sex with you. I'm sorry, but it's the only way that I know how to make it up to you. It won't be like before. I guarantee that you'll enjoy it. And, since you're not a nun any more, it'll be okay. I promise not to do anything that you don't want me to do." He softly took her ear in his mouth, chewing it lightly with his teeth. "Let me, please?"
Was he actually begging? She was silent for a moment, thinking as best she could, and then she nodded her consent. He moved to her neck. "Thank you, my Ana," he whispered, his breath fluttering over her soft skin and making her shiver.
"We--we should be getting back. The fire will go out and Kokku will be worried about us. He didn't know that we left." She moved a hand to his arm that was at her waist and rubbed his forearm gently. "Okay?"
He sighed, nodding as he pulled away from her. "Let's go find the wood that we gathered then. Do you want me to let Kokoro back out? I can if you want me to. Besides, I think that he wants to tell you something."
Why was he being so sweet? This wasn't his normal behavior. Maybe Kokoro could shed some light onto the subject. "Sure, you can if you want to," she stated. She had a few questions for him anyway.
"Okay." He stopped walking for a moment as he let the monk take control. "Ana!" He looked up at her, his face bright red. "I--I have to tell you something. It's…" he trailed off, trying to think of the best way to say it. "I--I love you."
She looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean? Daraku's the one that's acting all weird. I think that he's the one that's in love with me. How can you be to?" She watched him as he looked at the ground.
"Well, you see. I'm the one that fell in love with you first and, since I haven't acted on any of my emotions, Daraku's began too. That's why he's being so nice to you. That doesn't mean that his love isn't real though. He does love you, Ana. I--I think even more than I do." He gave a small laugh. "I'm almost more afraid of him when he's like this than when he's acting like he usually does. I don't know if he'll hurt you or not."
They stooped, picking up the wood that they had piled together and went back to where Kokku was waiting for them. He looked up as they came out of the trees. "Where were you guys?"
Ana burst out laughing as he gave her a questioning look. Kokoro began laughing as well when he saw what the cook was wearing. "Why do you have--? How come you're--? Oh, never mind, perhaps I don't want to know."
The cook looked at them with wide, innocent eyes. "Know what?" he questioned. They added their wood to the fire then, after another glance at their weird friend, and a small chuckle they sat down.
"You do realize that you've got one of Ana's dresses wrapped around you're head, don't you?" Kokku nodded at the monk as he prepared what he was going to be making for breakfast.
By the end of breakfast, Ana had reclaimed her clothes. They packed up their things and started down the dirt road towards the monastery. Kokoro still didn't have his glasses.
*
"There it is!" The cook pointed ahead of them at the large building that had appeared. "I can't wait to get back into my kitchen and make soup and cook bread and meat and everything. I've missed that."
"I've gotta put my swords back, and, strange as it may sound, I've missed my little room as well. It'll be nice to be able to sleep in a bed after being on the road so long." He sighed. "And I've gotta get a new pair of glasses."
"Hey, that reminds me. I noticed that you don't have your mask that I gave you any more. Do you want a new one, Kokoro? I could make a new one for you if I could obtain the materials but that shouldn't be too hard."
Kokoro gave it a brief amount of thought then nodded. "I guess so. I don't know if I'll wear it too much though. Last time it got cut in two when Daraku was fighting the villagers."
Ana pulled her habit tighter around her body as a gust of cool wind sprang up. "I'm just glad that we found you before winter. I'd hate to be looking for you in the deep snow, thinking that, under any small drift, you could be laying, almost frozen to death and unconscious." She shivered at the thought.
"Well, you two got what you wanted. I'm back at the monastery." He sighed. "I don't know what's gonna happen, but I have the feeling that it isn't going to be good. Something just doesn't feel right." His eyes narrowed as he looked up at the top of the monastery and then at the wooden doors, that marked the entrance. There was a dark shadow that surrounded the building, a foreboding omen of doom. He blinked, trying to see if it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. "Hey, do you two see that shadow hanging over the monastery?"
They both shook their heads, giving him a strange look. "What shadow?" they questioned. He gave them a wondering look then, after a glance up at the blackness, shrugged and continued on with them to the church.
*
Kokoro lay upon his bed, wincing with the realization that he wasn't fully healed yet. The journey back couldn't have been good for his wounds. It felt good to have his glasses back though.
There was a soft knock at the door. "Kokoro?" It was Ana. She opened the door slowly as she looked around it. "How are you feeling? Do you want me to put more medication on the cuts or anything?"
He shook his head as she came and sat down by him. "No, that's all right. I'm fine. I was just thinking of going out side and looking at the garden." She gave him another strange look and his eyes widened with realization. "Oh, it's gotten too cold, hasn't it? There won't be anything there."
"What's wrong? It's like you can't think straight or something." He sat up; swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he shook his head and brushed a hand through his bangs then let his eyes wonder to hers.
"I just don't know. Ever since I got back…nothing that I've been saying has made any sense." That shadow…maybe that had something to do with it. But why was he the only one who could see it then?
"Well, I guess that I should let you get your rest, Kokoro." She stood, turning to go when he grabbed her hand and gently pulled her back to the bed. "Daraku?" He nodded, kissing her neck.
"Can't you stay with me for awhile longer, sweet Ana?" He questioned as he lay back down and pulled her to himself. She let out a small sigh as she relaxed against the warmth of his body. He sucked lightly on her ear. "Well? Can you? Please say yes."
"I--I guess that I could. If you really wanted me to." He nodded, whispering his thanks softly into her ear. She shivered. He made sure that her head was on the pillow before laying back.
"I'm sorry, Ana. But, the truth is, I am tired. I hope that you don't mind if I sleep for a while?" She shook her head. "You're so understanding, Ana. Thank you so very much." He placed a light kiss upon her cheek then, a few minutes later; he was out like a light.
*
Ana had slept, but not very well. Being so close to Daraku, the way she was, was upsetting her stomach. It didn't really matter, she could sleep later. Daraku had rolled unto his back and was no longer holding her so she had moved to the edge of the bed so that she wouldn't disturb him. After about a half an hour of lying like that, when she was almost asleep, he found her once more and pulled her to himself. She sighed, closing her eyes.
*
"…Ana…" Daraku had awoken; feeling refreshed from his sleep to find Ana napping beside him still. He was glad that she hadn't left him. Having her near made him feel at ease. "Ana, thank you so much for staying with me," he whispered into her ear. She shifted her weight, rolling onto her back. He propped himself up on one side, watching her as she snored gently, and smiled. He brushed the hair away from her eyes. "Ana…"
Her eyelids flickered then opened as she looked up at his face and gave him a smile. "Sleep well, Daraku?" He gave her a nod and bent down to kiss her forehead then rubbed his fingers over her jaw-line.
"Yes, I slept well, Ana. Because you were here. Thank you for not leaving once I'd fallen asleep." He kissed her again, this time gently on the cheek. "Did you sleep well?" The fact that Ana didn't answer immediately told him right away that she'd only catnapped. "I--" he narrowed his eyes, finding it hard to get the words past his lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you up."
"It's alright, Daraku." She curled up next to him, closing her eyes. "I don't mind." He sighed, resting a hand on her head and holding her closer to himself, enjoying the warmth of her body, like he had when he'd been sleeping. She smelled so good, like fresh peaches. "What ever happened to Kokoro, anyway?" she questioned.
"I believe that he's become latent. He's not fighting to come out any more." He rubbed her shoulder with his left hand, thinking of the monk. A confused look crossed his face for the briefest second then was gone. He didn't hate the monk like he used to.
"You mean he's inactive? Dormant?" Daraku nodded. "Will he--disappear?" she asked, a slight hint of sadness within her voice. The warrior looked at her questioningly, as if wondering why. She blushed, burying her head slightly in his brown robes. "I--I love him, Daraku. I love you both."
"I'm not sure if he'll disappear, Ana. I wouldn't think that he would. You--you'll forgive me if he does, won't you?" he questioned, rubbing her shoulder softly with his hand. She frowned slightly but gave him a small nod. Daraku frowned as well; he didn't want the monk to disappear either. What was wrong with him anyway? He didn't feel like killing, he didn't hate Kokoro like he used to, he didn't feel like doing something bad… Something had changed within him and he didn't know what it was, but the monk…the monk had to know what had happened to him, know what had changed. And then he looked down at Ana and realized for himself what it was. He loved her. He loved her with all his heart. She was now his life. And with that realization also came the fact that he didn't care that his whole happiness rested with this one woman.