Disclaimer: Although I may wish with all of my heart that I own the seishi, they belong to Watase-san…but I can still dream, can't I? ^-^;;
My author's note/response:
Jurie: don't worry, Hotohori is one of the main characters in this story, I just haven't decided what to do with him yet ^-^;;
faeri_x: that's what I plan on doing, giving you an idea of what the seishi would do with their lives if they had summoned suzaku while most of them were still alive…
scarlet.tennyo: ya, that's kinda the idea ^^;;
Tian: ::smiles:: arigato gozaimasu! ^-^
Italics = thoughts
Recap:
"Its really beautiful here, ne?" Miaka said cheerfully. "The willow trees are gorgeous…" she looked around at the scenery, trying to get her mind off of her doubts and fears. And, as luck would have it, that's when Tamahome said the one thing that made her whole life change.
"Miaka…we need to talk."
Chapter two: The last time
Miaka jumped.
"Talk? Un…we can talk. Talk about what?" Her mind raced. He wants to talk…about what? Why am I so terrified of that one phrase?
Tamahome looked into her troubled eyes, and decided that in the middle of the path was not the best place to say what he would. "Come with me."
He grabbed her hand, and led her towards the east part of the courtyard, in a willow grove filled with wildflowers. The scent of the flowers had lingered throughout the courtyard, but somehow the flowers only grew there. Near the edge of the grove, in the shade, there was a stone bench, covered slightly with moss around the legs because of old age. He led Miaka to the bench, and then sat down, pulling her down with him.
"Tamahome, what are you doing? What do you want to talk about? Why did you bring me here?" Her hazel eyes were full of confusion as she gazed at him. Have I ever seen this expression on his face before? Tamahome…why am I so afraid of what you want to talk to me about? It's almost as though I know what you're going to say, and I dread it…
Tamahome looked straight into her eyes, and realized how much he needed to say what he felt about her. He studied her, the way her eyes glittered, the way her hair mimicked the willows as a slight breeze blew by, the way her skin was smooth, as smooth as cream. He didn't do anything but look at her, his eyes softening and starting to fill with sorrow.
Miaka, unable to stand it, turned away. "Tamahome, why are you looking at me like that? I have an idea…demo…demo! This…" she trailed off. This is not how I thought that it would end. But what did I expect, I wonder… Her eyes filled with tears, but she made them disappear almost as fast as they had come.
Tamahome was startled by her words. "You know…you have an idea about why I brought you here…?" His eyes were confused. How would she know?
Miaka turned again and looked at him, making sure he was looking at her before she says, "I have noticed it for a while…very slightly at first…but as time goes by…I realize it even more…I realize that no matter what I do, or you do…we are slowly drifting apart."
His eyes softened, saddening. "Miaka…I really do like you…but not enough…you're more…more like a sister, than a lover…and no matter what I do, my views won't change themselves. I'm sorry, Miaka…some things just weren't meant to be…"
She looked down, away from him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes against her will. I knew this was coming, but I'm still not ready for it. Her voice became almost monotone, her emotions being hidden as much as possible from him. "It's okay, I don't mind, I understand."
Tamahome looked at her, noticing her tone of voice and the way her whole body slumped. He pulled her into a warm embrace, not a lover's one, but that of a best friend. "I'm so sorry, Miaka. You can't be just 'fine'. Even I am not 'fine' with this. I know that I'm hurting you, and I hate myself for it. But I know also that if I went on pretending, I would hurt you even more so than if I left…I'm so sorry, Miaka…"
Finally, Miaka let out her thoughts, and responded, allowing a single tear to trickle down her cheek, before quickly whipping it away. "I know you did it for the best, and I know that this is the best thing to do…demo…it hurts…it still hurts."
His eyes close in sorrow as she says those words. "Miaka…if there was a way to do this without hurting you, believe me I would choose it. But there isn't one…you'll have to accept this. I won't come back with you to your world. I won't live a lie…I'm sorry."
Sighing, Miaka closed her eyes as he spoke. "Tamahome, can I ask you to do something for me? Just one last time?" Her eyes opened again, as she turned to look at him.
Tamahome nodded, not sure what she's asking.
I owe her that much, for a last request or two.
Miaka shut her eyes again, trying to figure out how to ask this, before she opened them to look at him.
"Two things…one, don't mention any of this to the seishi. You should just leave here, to live a happier life somewhere else." With someone you love. "But don't come back. They will only think of you as a coward, but that's not why you shouldn't return. I wouldn't be able to bear the sight of you, because I'd imagine what was and what might've been, and I don't want to put you through that. So, leave. Promise me you'll be happy?" She looked into his eyes, deadly serious.
Tamahome looked back at her, understanding completely. "I promise you."
"Good…that's good…" Miaka shut her eyes again, willing herself not to cry.
Not here, and not now.
"One more thing," she says as she turned back to him.
"Hai?"
Her eyes watered up, threatening to spill, but not able to yet. "Please, just one last time, hold me…"
Tamahome noticed the grief that she was trying to hold back. He wrapped his arms around her compassionately, and she buried her face into his chest, letting a few tears out again, but not crying.
Miaka pulled away after a moment, enough to look up at him, before leaning forward and capturing his lips in a kiss for the last time ever.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hotohori looked out the window to see Miaka and Tamahome captured in a passionate kiss, and he couldn't tear his eyes away for a moment, just staring out, his eyes filling with unshed tears.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Miaka pulled away, feeling she should not show her feelings towards him anymore, she saw someone moving away from the window, only catching the view of stricken golden eyes, full of drowned hope, and loss.
Hotohori?
Handy little dictionary:
Ne?: right?
Un: yes
Hai: yes