- - -
"What are we going to do?" Rikku wondered. She had been rudely awakened, or so was her spin on it, by Yuna and Zysac. They had come into her room and made her poke her head from the warm covers. She sighed at them now, as they all sat on the beds and twiddled their thumbs.
There was a small creak, but it was only Myesa entering with a tray of steaming food. She used the backside of her body to close the door behind her. The tray she set down on table between the beds.
"Your fellow guests are currently eating in the dining hall," the inn's owner informed them. "Except one of them—the Guado, I think."
Both Rikku and Zysac grimaced slightly at the name of the race. Yuna felt uncomfortable, remembering Seymour.
"I can't believe a bunch of maniacs would barge in and ruin our stay!" grumbled Rikku. "After I was so looking forward to it, too."
Myesa sat down on the bed next to Zysac, whose cheeks went a bit pink. "I'm sorry. I know they caused a disturbance, but… Do you want me to kick them out?"
"I'm worried they could get violent," Yuna said. She had heard yelling all afternoon from the party's room.
"Like they haven't already," muttered the boy.
"I don't want to start any conflicts, Miss Myesa," Yuna said earnestly. "You have been too kind to us already."
"Miss Aore," Myesa replied. "I think these people are perfectly capable of starting conflicts without our help."
"Rrrrgh!" Rikku growled. "This just pisses me off!" She looked about half ready to go and grab her Godhand and charge outside to display her anger to the unwanted guests.
"I don't want to speak so badly of people I haven't met," Yuna murmured, but everyone stopped to listen to her. It was a privilege (or a curse) that came with saving the world.
"Yeah, well, if they know who you are, they'll make a fuss, and if they don't know, then they'll…still make a fuss." Rikku looked longingly at her pile of weapons.
Yuna stood up, filled with resolve. "I won't let myself judge someone until I get to know them. It is what I would hope people would do for me." She pulled the goggles down over her sparkling green and blue eyes, which wandered for the door. "Until they do something harmful to me, I refuse to think ill of them."
Zysac looked a bit indignant at this, and the mouths of the other two Al-Bhed women just went to a slant.
"Well, just because you're not going to be mean to them doesn't mean you have to be nice to them. Let's just stay in our rooms till tomorrow and leave extra early." Rikku seemed in a much worse mood than usual. Yuna halted her advance and just pondered…did these Al-Bhed know something she did not?
"All right," Myesa agreed, standing. She didn't want any major problems going on in her new enterprise, either. It was…troubling. "I'll go watch the guests and assure your safety." She bowed slightly to Yuna. "Good night."
The remaining occupants of the room took their places on the beds and began to divvy up the food. Upon their arrival, they had been starving. Now, their stomachs turned with worry. They ate little.
"Oh, this sucks," growled Rikku. She frowned at her plate and just gobbled everything in sight, giving herself a stomachache but not really caring. "I hate those…." She began mumbling Al-Bhed curses—well, that's what Yuna presumed them to be; she had never heard the words before.
Zysac looked at his gloved hands seriously. "Let's leave early," was all he said, and he departed.
Yuna sat on the edge of the recently vacated bed with her hands folded neatly in her lap. She dreaded a bit spending the night with such a cranky Rikku. There seemed to be something bothering the thief more than this group of unruly travelers, and her cousin could recognize it.
"This sucks," repeated Rikku.
"What's troubling you so much?" Yuna finally had the courage to ask aloud. "Is it…?"
"No," came the muttered reply. "I just…I don't know. I had a dream." This last comment came rather reluctantly from the blonde's lips, and only with the prodding of her cousin's concerned stare. "Stop looking at me like that already."
Yuna turned her head. "Sorry."
"No, no, it's all right." Rikku fell back on the bed and kicked her feet weakly in the air. "I just thought that things would be a lot happier now. That Spira would be happy, and…"
"Did you have a nightmare, Rikku?" Yuna changed the subject. Or, at least, tried.
"No, it was happy. But I was sad when I woke up."
"You're not going to tell me what the dream was about?"
"…You'll laugh."
"Will not," promised Yuna. She considered her cousin thoughtfully. The Al-Bhed was waving her arms and legs almost like she was floating in a pool of water. It reminded her of Wakka, and she laughed to compare the overweight former blitzball to the petite, spunky thief.
"You're laughing already!" Rikku's voice was full of accusations.
"No, no, I was just thinking…about Wakka…"
"Wakka?" Rikku jolted into a sitting position.
"I… Oh, nevermind." Yuna held up a hand to signal defeat. "Now, I won't laugh anymore. So, your dream?"
Rikku stopped her flailing. "I was walking along the Mi'hen Highroad, from Luca. And I was looking out over the railing—you know that place? And then, all of a sudden, everyone was there—Auron and Tidus too, you know? We were all laughing, and talking, and then the sun started to set and we sat down right on the cobblestone!
"After it got dark, it was a bit chilly, and we leaned against the wall, all huddled together…and there were these great big fireworks—the best you ever saw! Big and bright and loud…" She shivered momentarily. "Like thunder."
Yuna sat and pictured the scene. In her mind, she oohed and aahed at the spectacular flashes of light, and shook with the crashing booms soon afterward. And she was holding Tidus's hand. She gazed into his blue pearls of eyes and saw the beauty of the night reflected, only a thousand times greater.
"But then it all ended when I woke up." Rikku's words came shattering through the girls' imagined paradises, shaking the earth of the utopia in their mind's eye. They were both somber.
"That's so wonderful," Yuna said, her heart clinging onto the scene for a few more precious moments. "I wish that it were true."
"I just thought we would all be happy."
Just then, the lantern's light died, and the two were left to speak in silence.
"So did I," Yuna admitted.
"I'm doing everything I wanted to. I feel happy, but sometimes I sit alone at night and just am lonely, you know? Like something's missing."
"I know."
"I wish Auron were here."
Yuna looked over toward her cousin, even though the entire room was pitch black.
"He…he would say something tough," Rikku tried to explain. She put on her best gruff male voice. "Let's go! We've got to keep moving! Shape up, little girl!"
The two women burst into giggles.
"You do sound a lot like Sir Auron," Yuna said with an invisible grin.
"A-And then…" Rikku was laughing so hard it was becoming increasingly difficult to be understood. "He'd take out his…jug and take a…big…long sip. 'This is for the fallen!'"
Yuna fell silent at this comment.
Rikku kept laughing, almost hysterically, until she finally and quickly burst into a violent batch of tears.
Yuna lay back in the bed and let her cousin get her emotions out. After Rikku seemed to have calmed down a bit, she gave this piece of wisdom: "Crying helps sometimes, doesn't it? Like your bad feelings are trying to ride out on your tears…"
"You always have something profound to say, Yunie," Rikku sniffed, practically digging at her face furiously to make the tears stop. She wiped her nose with one entire arm and folded in on herself in a fetal position.
"It's something I heard from a village elder a long time ago. When I was crying for my father." She snuggled up in the covers, a cheap replacement for strong arms wrapped around her. "This is similar to that time, I think. In the streets, everyone was celebrating so wonderfully…I couldn't bring myself to be happy at that time because I knew my father was dead. Now…it is the same. But at least I managed to get past my father's death in time." She let out a deep breath.
"Spira is safe and everyone is rejoicing. Still, every person has a scar to wear. Lost parents, or friends…" Yuna shut her eyes. The picture of she and her Guardians sitting above Luca watching the night rushed back into her mind, and she was filled with an elated feeling. "I wonder if memories and dreams are all we have left."
"Love," added Rikku, very shortly and simply. She paused. "Don't think I had a crush on Auron or nothin', 'cause I didn't. He was way too old for me, and too serious. Geez!" The man had irritated her many times, and yet… "It's just that I guess I sorta…respected him. He was the closest thing to a leader we had."
"We had a wonderful group."
"I miss those times, even though they were really hard. We were always fighting monsters or solving puzzles or walking for miles…and miles…and miles…" She groaned. "I always felt like I belonged." Her last comment was a whisper made from the edges of sleep. "Loved, even…"
Yuna left her tired cousin to her dreaming.
Spira's future is uncertain. I thought, too, that everything would just sort itself out once Sin was gone… I was naïve. People squabble more than ever. They are either stuck in the past of fumbling through the future. And everyone wants Spira to be just the way they want it. Me… I only wish for people's happiness.
And she scoffed at the word 'happiness', and turned on her side and wrapped the blankets around all parts of her body, so she was snug and warm. Sometimes, I feel a little happy. But it's not the feeling I have gotten before… When you feel joy right down to your heart and you have a bit of nervousness—even in your stomach. When the world kind of has a dreamy tint to it, and your thoughts are dominated by one, pure, elated feeling.
I haven't felt this way many times in my life, but still… My selfish wish…it is only to have this feeling again, maybe just once more.
-
The morning was an eerily dim one. The air was thick and uncomfortable. And for once in a great while, Lulu had awakened early, with Wakka still by her side. Perhaps not every omen about this morning was an ill one.
Wakka was awake but he wasn't moving very much. His eyes wandered around the room.
"What is it?" Lulu wondered groggily.
"Nothing," he lied. He was an awful liar.
"Looks like there will be a storm soon," Lulu said.
"Any minute."
"How long have you been up?"
"…A bit."
Lulu sighed at his lack of responsiveness and grabbed his messy hair in her hand. "Wakka?"
His mouth curved into a faint smile and he kissed her by the ear, as always. "'Mornin', by the way."
"You should cut your hair," Lulu commented. "You're an old man now, Wakka, for what do you need such ridiculous hair?"
"I'll cut it later," he agreed, showing no emotion. His eyes had continued their quest across the boring wooden ceiling.
"When?" she prompted, trying to urge emotion from him. It was funny, too; she herself was rarely animated, but, when someone cheerful like Wakka or Rikku lost his spunk, she became a bit panicked. The usual order of things was best.
"For our wedding," the blitzer spoke, and this time his eyes met hers and twinkled faintly.
Lulu splashed on an overly bedazzled expression. They had talked about sharing vows many times, but there was never any time, and then she got sick. Their child would be born a…
"Ooh, when will that be?" Lulu questioned, playing the giddy schoolgirl.
Wakka loved to see her playful, perhaps because it was a rare experience for him. His cold exterior melted a little. "When you're all better, ya? Couple months."
They both froze, their eyes fixed on one another's, and their thoughts the same.
Lulu frowned. "Don't be so dead, Wakka," she started, choosing to ignore her choice of words as soon as they rode out on her breath. "The storm is coming, probably a big one, and we'll get to spend some time together at home."
Wakka nodded, but hesitation dominated his body language. He climbed out of bed and into his shoes. "I'll go and board up." He stomped out rather somberly, not even performing his usual stretches of the morning.
Lulu hurried and, while he could not see, she performed her morning ritual. With great struggle she first sat and then lumbered off of the bed, coming up on her legs with many a wobble. She was very front heavy, and her back growled at her with aggravation. It had been comfortable on the firm, flat mattress, but now it was forced to endure the weight of two human beings.
Lulu came to the small washstand that was kept for her (most villagers bathed in the river or nearby streams). The water had been replenished last night by a kindly neighbor, and it was cooler than the air at least, even if not perfectly fresh.
Lulu replaced her underclothes and placed a loose black dress over herself. She was used to wearing tighter clothing, but the baby prohibited that. Besides, because the air was so humid, her skin needed the ventilation.
Wakka had finished closing up the shutters for the windows and now he was working steadily on putting in place the wooden door. Around him, his fellow villagers were doing the same things for their homes. From the look of the sky, they were in for a big storm.
"Hey, Lu?" Wakka said, poking his head in. "I'm gonna run and get water and stuff, 'kay?"
Lulu nodded to him, tingling a bit as he watched her so filled with concern.
The woman, as hurriedly as could be managed, went about the chores, clearing off the bed and folding up the pillows and blankets on top in a neat pile. She discarded the food that she had never eaten from last night.
"I'm breaking a promise," she said aloud as she wiped the table down and arranged the two stools around it. Knowing Wakka would return soon, Lulu sat down on one of these seats and took a comb to her hair, brushing out its incredibly long, midnight strands. There were few knots; her hair was good like that.
Lulu was tired from this small amount of labor, but she wouldn't admit it to herself. She concentrated on brushing her hair, and then pulling it back and tying with some purple ribbon she usually kept wrapped around the comb's teeth.
Wakka came in, weighed down by two water buckets in his hands and a basket of food tied around his neck. His half-naked body was covered in sweat, and relief sunk into his features as he set the heaven parcels down.
Lulu envied that. A bucket of water could be put down.
Wakka wiped himself off with some of the new water and went to the corner to change his clothes. Lulu thought it was odd that he would be shy about dressing in front of her. She had seen him with nothing on at all many times. But today, he was acting unnatural towards her.
Lulu swung the huge, loosely tied ponytail so that it lay in front of her shoulder, following the large curves of her front side. She then stood and walked to inspect the food Wakka had brought in from the village's central supply.
"That's our emergency food, ya?" Wakka told her before she touched the various vegetables and few pieces of fruit. There was also some fish wrapped in paper.
"Emergency?" Lulu's dark eyes opened a bit wider, the only indication she felt alarm.
"They're saying in the village that a big storm's coming. A hurricane," he said quietly. He had turned back around to face the wall.
"Well, how well did you board up the house?"
"Good as I can," he said, and his poor grammar didn't even press her nerves like it used to. He was thoughtful for a minute. "Hey, Lu—lots of people are headin' over to the old temple now."
It was Lulu's turn to face away. If she were at the temple, there would be no bed for her to rest on. Besides, she was ill, and it made her uncomfortable to have so many people around, seeing her weak like she was. She forced herself to possess a pleasant look about her, and took from between her breasts the fish pendant, placing it over her dress.
Coming to Wakka, she stroked the silver charm and said, "I would rather spend time alone with you here." It wasn't really a lie, nor an exaggeration of the truth. Besides, Wakka knew, at least to some extent, about her troubles with public places.
Wakka felt proud about her wearing his necklace, but terribly embarrassed at the same time. It was the only truly personal thing he had had to give her, when he had finally confessed his feelings and longings for her.
Lulu wasn't embarrassed about it, but usually the thing slipped beneath her outer clothing and it could not be seen shimmering in the daylight.
"We'll be safe here," the man said, watching as her smooth fingers moved up and down over her chest. He couldn't quite explain it, but, somehow, this Lulu was the most attractive one he had ever seen.
Her beautiful and elegant body had swollen enormously and she looked a bit tired, but inside he simply admired her strength and thanked whatever god was left simply for the chance to be with her. She was so wonderful, such a pillar of strength, such a wonderful house for the life inside her.
Lulu wanted to put her arms around Wakka, just to feel a bit better. The storm made her feel worried inside, and there were few things she worried about. She sometimes had a sixth sense about things, and this seemed like one of those times.
Wakka came up behind her and hugged her close to him, taking both of her hands and using them to wrap all four arms around each other over the large, soft chest. Wakka next concentrated on practically devouring her soft, sweet neck and shoulder, where he moved away the fabric with his teeth.
Lulu giggled as his hair tickled her skin. It was rare of her to act so childishly, but it felt good right now to let herself go, to relax leaning heavily on him. She did not say, but she was feeling sick, a bit weak like she could faint. She told herself this was from the ecstasy of being so intimately close to this sweet, wonderful man…but it wasn't completely true.
Several months ago, Yuna had been pining endlessly, as she did when she had a few minutes to herself. It had been early evening, right before all the village left on a yearly excursion to go celebrate midwinter, with festivities all night on the furthest shore from the village (the reason was something about proving that they had nothing to fear from winter).
Yuna had been sulking, insisting she would not go, that there was no reason to celebrate.
"Yuna," urged her former guardian. "It's a tradition. You always used to love going—seeing the children at their games, remember?" It was true that last year Yuna had held the same objections to the celebration and that she had gotten her way in the end.
"I don't want to go," said the girl with more sternness.
"Yuna…it'll do you some good to go."
"I don't care."
"Well, everyone will be much happier if you're there. Don't you realize that? Last time they were all sad because you weren't there—"
"I don't want to go!"
Lulu, losing her control for once in a great while, cried out, "Well, if you want to be so selfish, then go right ahead! But can't you see that you're bringing the spirits of the people you care about down to hell with yours?" Her comments were quick, edged with bitterness, and they stung.
"I'll be happy when I see Tidus again," Yuna declared, overcoming the shock of the words with a bit of anger of her own.
"He's gone, can't you see that?" exclaimed Lulu. "Tidus is dead!"
Yuna's eyes turned to ice. "I hate you!" she cried, a hoarse scream that came out before thoughts processed. "You're wrong, and I know it. I'll find him." And she had spun on her black-booted heels and stomped after the other villagers, who were skipping along down the path.
And with that, Lulu knew that she had cemented Yuna's heart against her. After that, the Summoner hardly spoke to her old friend. She would nod politely as they passed on the road, but she never came over every day to visit, or took Lulu with her to meet leaders, like she always had before.
Lulu remembered that night vividly. Seeing Yuna disappear about such an exchange of words, the older woman felt tears sting her eyes for the first time since Chappu had died. She ran back towards the village, clutching at the gray cloak she was wearing.
She stumbled into her small hut that sat perched a bit away from the village, a ways past the temple. Inside, she broke into sobs, almost piercing the palms of her hands with her fingernails as she squeezed her fists tight. It had been so long since she had loathed herself so much, and the unfamiliar pain attacked ferociously.
Suddenly, the dark room was illuminated as the door was pushed aside.
"Lu?" came a cautious and curious voice, the darkness slipping back over the room.
"Wakka?" Lulu tried to dash the tears away, but the best she could do was cease her sniffling for a minute. "I…" She could feel his presence behind her, and she rushed into him, clinging desperately.
She let the tears flow steadily now, soaking his shirt, which was thick due to the winter weather. Suddenly, she recognized the cold of the room; her cloak had slipped from her shoulders onto the floor when she'd come in.
Wakka stood like a statue for a moment, but her warm body sending out such needy signals brought him to life, and he took the liberty of stroking her back slowly. "Hey, Lu, let's get a fire going, ya?" He had felt her ice-cold skin.
Lulu had waited with her arms crossed while Wakka stumbled around in the dark and, at last, started a small fire blazing. When the light finally flared up and doused the room in bright, vivid colors, the woman's eyes fixed on the man and she felt warmth, more than that which radiated from the fire.
Wakka would have studied Lulu's face intently and curiously, but his tanned skin was flushed with a deep crimson, so he turned away. His thoughts and hearts were racing, one trying to out compete the other.
"Wakka…" Lulu's voice was still brimming with sadness and worry, and it more then reached out an arm to bring him to her, beckoning.
Wakka came up from the crouching position he had been assuming and situated himself directly in front of the woman, surveying her body nervously as it heaved up and down with strong emotion. He scratched his head. He wanted to help, but…
"She hates me," Lulu suddenly said, in her cool, controlled voice. Her face jolted up as she looked directly into Wakka's eyes and there were no fresh tears on her pale face. She simply stared straight ahead, hardly blinking. She was shocked.
"Who, Yuna?"
"She hates me," the woman repeated, and did so a few more times, blinking between each phrase. The dried tears that had been rolling down her cheeks he wiped away, using his thumb roughly.
It was unsettling, to say the least. Lulu was supposed to be his pillar of strength, and here she was, incoherent, and she had been sobbing. Lulu, sobbing. He could hardly comprehend it.
Hesitating at first, Wakka engulfed the woman in his large, muscular arms. The awkward affection came more than coarsely at first, but Lulu responded to it happily, taking solace in the shelter of the man's body.
"Lu…don't worry," he mumbled, and she could hear his chest vibrating with the words.
This safe feeling overwhelmed her so much that she finally recognized what she felt all along beside Wakka, what she had tried to hide for so long, out of respect for her Chappu. She wanted to be protected, no matter how strong her spells could be, no matter how well she could keep her emotions buried. And Wakka, somehow, provided this desperately needed sensation inside of her, even if he did so a bit clumsily.
Lulu blinked long and slow, gazing into Wakka's confused face, grasping him with cold arms, seeking heat, seeking love.
Wakka muttered not a syllable, but the need in his body had grown too, and he came down hugely into his first kiss, pressing hard on her lips with an open mouth.
Lulu had grunted in surprise, which she later regretted for sake of embarrassment. Finally her body remembered the sweet motions of passionate kissing, and she started trying to direct Wakka's mouth into the right shapes and tempo. She struggled for a bit, but she finally surrendered to his inexperience, and let him feel his way through the moment.
He grabbed at her waist and held her close, using the other arm to sort of cradle her head. His breaths grew faster as more of her sweet body came into contact with his. His mind became a blur, the thoughts tripping over one another, and all he could do was take her against him, trying to kiss her right, trying to do what was right.
Lulu finally pulled down her head from his lips and let air come freely into her lungs, but she did not heave as the man did (that would be unladylike). She felt so bad, and he felt so good, and it was clear now that he was for her now, that he could be what she needed.
Wakka was speechless. He wondered if he had pressed too far. He started apologizing, but it came out in a mess of long and short syllables, and not entirely in the correct order.
"Are you speaking Al-Bhed to me?" She tried to make a joke, something she lacked much skill in to begin with, but it fell flat and died. There were more pressing matters at hand than the Al-Bhed.
The air was getting colder and the fire dimmer. Wakka turned to stir it, but Lulu reached forward and grabbed his arm. She did this without thinking, like an instinct, and soon they were in close contact again.
"I…" She usually had something to say, some witty retort or some jaded opinion, but now, speaking of herself, there was nothing. No words at all, no clear thoughts.
Wakka could not bear to have her so close and not tell her. "Lu…oh, Lu, let me take care of you," was all he said, and this he whispered into her ear roughly, scratching her cheek with his stubbly sideburns.
And it was then that she fell completely into his arms, and he had taken her to bed, and everything was finally released, into the open. All their hidden emotions, so well concealed that the two people had not even known of their existence until now. And, when it was all over, Wakka had cradled Lulu in his arms once more, had put his fish pendant around her neck, and had whispered, "I love you."
- - -
Hey, thanks for all the reviews so far! I really appreciate any comments you have to make.
To answer a question… the title of the story, "Vunajan du Sa", is Al-Bhed for "Forever to Me", which is an emotional song by the Japanese group The Brilliant Green. I really like the song, and the story is kind of based on some of the English lyrics, which I might include in later chapters.
The next chapter is probably going to focus more on Rikku and Yuna, because I'm worried people might get fed up with the Wakka/Lulu drama…^.^` So stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of Vunajan Du Sa, right here on the FanFiction Network. XD