Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, etc.
A/N: Well, here's chapter 2 anyway!
Reshuffle
Displacement
I know what I did but it wasn't my fault
My guilt could fill oceans and bring me to a halt.
This is the only home I've ever known
So why when I'm here do I feel so alone?
Everyone hates me, they don't understand
Just want me banished from their land.
But how can I atone for sins not truly mine?
There has to be something, I just need a sign. . .
"Nothing.
And nothing's what you got when you ain't got something
You'll never get it back."
Nothing
A
The sound of gunblades clashing pierced the early morning air much better than the dawn chorus ever managed. It was music to Seifer's ears, as he parried a backhand slice and countered with a low sweep. His opponent backflipped away, giving both a second to catch their breath, before the battle began again in earnest.
It went on like this for a good ten minutes, a perfectly orchestrated dance of destruction, neither combatant giving an inch, two experts of their trade playing magnificently off each other. Finally, a buzzer sounded. The pair lowered their swords and gave a quick bow, before collapsing in exhaustion. Seifer breathed heavily for a minute or so, then turned to his training partner with a smile. "How's that for a training session Squall?" The commander of Balamb Garden treated him to a rare grin.
"Not bad at all Seifer. Your form is a lot better than when we started this. How are you adjusting again anyway?"
"Could be worse," he said, reluctant to spoil the exhilaration he always felt after a battle. Squall frowned, and was about to press the point, when his pager sounded. He sighed in irritation.
"Well, duty calls. I'll see you at the briefing in half an hour, ok?"
"Ok. See ya later," he said as Squall hurried off. Seifer contemplated what to do for the next half hour, and decided upon a visit to the Quad. He could do with a peaceful seat for a while. He stood up, returned his gunblade to it's holster on his back, and exited the training center.
It only took him a couple of minutes to walk round to the Quad, find his favourite bench and sit down. It was still pretty early, but the student committee was already up and about, making the final touches to the decorations for the Garden Festival. Seifer smirked at this; Selphie certainly hadn't wasted any time in getting the event back on track after everything went back to normal. As they passed by he smiled and waved a greeting. The girls scowled at him, then took a wide berth to avoid having to pass close to him. Seifer was crestfallen. He knew why people treated him like this and he knew that he deserved it, but it still wounded him deeply every time it happened. He'd never lead a normal life again if this kept happening. Maybe I should just run away, to where no-one knows me, he pondered for a second, then rejected the idea. Since the days of the orphanage, the Garden had been his only home. And trying to avoid the problem wasn't the answer. He'd just have to win people's trust back. Overall, though, he was well on the road to redemption; he'd managed to salvage his sanity so far.
After Squall and the others had destroyed Ultimecia, Seifer's mind had been nearly ripped apart. The force which had controlled him for so long had violently disappeared, and the effect it had on Seifer was devastating. He had been a vegetable, from the combination of the magic used on him and having to examine his horrific actions without a cloak of deceit. Fujin and Raijin had found him near Tear's Point, curled into a ball as if trying to keep the world out like a child would. They had tried to nurse him back to health for a few days, but there had been no change in his condition. In desperation, they had handed him over to the only person they knew who had experience in sorcerous injuries; Dr. Odine.
Odine had been able to repair the magical damage to his mind, and had referred him to the top psychologist in Esthar. Over the next two months, he had gradually been able to deal with the atrocities he had committed, to the point where he had regained all the skills of communication, movement and everything else he ever knew. Remorse still stabbed into him like a spear in the gut, but he could start to move on with his life. I deserve to be remorseful anyway, he mentally added.
Then the call had come. Squall had found out about his former nemesis' rehabilitation and had come over to judge the situation. As he entered the room and saw Seifer, his face had stiffened, fire in his gaze, remembering the torture session in the Galbadian prison. Seifer had looked in his eyes and seen the hatred there. For a few minutes they just looked at each other, neither knowing what to say that wouldn't start a fight. Then, to Squall's shock, Seifer had fallen to his knees and collapsed in a sobbing heap, crying, "I'm sorry," over and over again. After he got over his surprise, Squall had knelt down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, as much comfort as he knew how to give. "I forgive you," he whispered, realizing that Seifer really hadn't been in control of his actions.
After a couple of days, Squall had extended his offer to an amazed Seifer; to return to Garden as a trainee SeeD. He had snapped up the offer like a starving crocodile and gone back that very day. It had been a rocky road, but he had forged links of friendship with the rest of his companions from the orphanage. They had been reluctant to forgive and forget at first, but Squall was adamant that Seifer had changed, and that went a long way towards it.
So here he was, a month later, trying desperately to fit in. And still he couldn't find peace, or anything approaching it. The only time he felt better was when he fought; it seemed that part of him hadn't changed at all. This meant he was quite looking forward to the meeting, as they had just been hired for a mission, and Seifer was retaking his SeeD test as part of it. He looked at his watch and found he had moped long enough; it was time to go to the meeting. Hopefully this mission would give him a diversion from his depression for a while. He stood up and walked off, ignoring the poisonous glares from several students he passed on the way to the elevator.
A/N: Well, there's the second installment. Don't worry, it's not gonna stay THIS depressing for the whole fic! The next chapter should have some humour in it, as I'm aware it's severely lacking so far. I'll try and have it done within the week. Till then, rock on!
Wolfy
A/N: Well, here's chapter 2 anyway!
Reshuffle
Displacement
I know what I did but it wasn't my fault
My guilt could fill oceans and bring me to a halt.
This is the only home I've ever known
So why when I'm here do I feel so alone?
Everyone hates me, they don't understand
Just want me banished from their land.
But how can I atone for sins not truly mine?
There has to be something, I just need a sign. . .
"Nothing.
And nothing's what you got when you ain't got something
You'll never get it back."
Nothing
A
The sound of gunblades clashing pierced the early morning air much better than the dawn chorus ever managed. It was music to Seifer's ears, as he parried a backhand slice and countered with a low sweep. His opponent backflipped away, giving both a second to catch their breath, before the battle began again in earnest.
It went on like this for a good ten minutes, a perfectly orchestrated dance of destruction, neither combatant giving an inch, two experts of their trade playing magnificently off each other. Finally, a buzzer sounded. The pair lowered their swords and gave a quick bow, before collapsing in exhaustion. Seifer breathed heavily for a minute or so, then turned to his training partner with a smile. "How's that for a training session Squall?" The commander of Balamb Garden treated him to a rare grin.
"Not bad at all Seifer. Your form is a lot better than when we started this. How are you adjusting again anyway?"
"Could be worse," he said, reluctant to spoil the exhilaration he always felt after a battle. Squall frowned, and was about to press the point, when his pager sounded. He sighed in irritation.
"Well, duty calls. I'll see you at the briefing in half an hour, ok?"
"Ok. See ya later," he said as Squall hurried off. Seifer contemplated what to do for the next half hour, and decided upon a visit to the Quad. He could do with a peaceful seat for a while. He stood up, returned his gunblade to it's holster on his back, and exited the training center.
It only took him a couple of minutes to walk round to the Quad, find his favourite bench and sit down. It was still pretty early, but the student committee was already up and about, making the final touches to the decorations for the Garden Festival. Seifer smirked at this; Selphie certainly hadn't wasted any time in getting the event back on track after everything went back to normal. As they passed by he smiled and waved a greeting. The girls scowled at him, then took a wide berth to avoid having to pass close to him. Seifer was crestfallen. He knew why people treated him like this and he knew that he deserved it, but it still wounded him deeply every time it happened. He'd never lead a normal life again if this kept happening. Maybe I should just run away, to where no-one knows me, he pondered for a second, then rejected the idea. Since the days of the orphanage, the Garden had been his only home. And trying to avoid the problem wasn't the answer. He'd just have to win people's trust back. Overall, though, he was well on the road to redemption; he'd managed to salvage his sanity so far.
After Squall and the others had destroyed Ultimecia, Seifer's mind had been nearly ripped apart. The force which had controlled him for so long had violently disappeared, and the effect it had on Seifer was devastating. He had been a vegetable, from the combination of the magic used on him and having to examine his horrific actions without a cloak of deceit. Fujin and Raijin had found him near Tear's Point, curled into a ball as if trying to keep the world out like a child would. They had tried to nurse him back to health for a few days, but there had been no change in his condition. In desperation, they had handed him over to the only person they knew who had experience in sorcerous injuries; Dr. Odine.
Odine had been able to repair the magical damage to his mind, and had referred him to the top psychologist in Esthar. Over the next two months, he had gradually been able to deal with the atrocities he had committed, to the point where he had regained all the skills of communication, movement and everything else he ever knew. Remorse still stabbed into him like a spear in the gut, but he could start to move on with his life. I deserve to be remorseful anyway, he mentally added.
Then the call had come. Squall had found out about his former nemesis' rehabilitation and had come over to judge the situation. As he entered the room and saw Seifer, his face had stiffened, fire in his gaze, remembering the torture session in the Galbadian prison. Seifer had looked in his eyes and seen the hatred there. For a few minutes they just looked at each other, neither knowing what to say that wouldn't start a fight. Then, to Squall's shock, Seifer had fallen to his knees and collapsed in a sobbing heap, crying, "I'm sorry," over and over again. After he got over his surprise, Squall had knelt down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, as much comfort as he knew how to give. "I forgive you," he whispered, realizing that Seifer really hadn't been in control of his actions.
After a couple of days, Squall had extended his offer to an amazed Seifer; to return to Garden as a trainee SeeD. He had snapped up the offer like a starving crocodile and gone back that very day. It had been a rocky road, but he had forged links of friendship with the rest of his companions from the orphanage. They had been reluctant to forgive and forget at first, but Squall was adamant that Seifer had changed, and that went a long way towards it.
So here he was, a month later, trying desperately to fit in. And still he couldn't find peace, or anything approaching it. The only time he felt better was when he fought; it seemed that part of him hadn't changed at all. This meant he was quite looking forward to the meeting, as they had just been hired for a mission, and Seifer was retaking his SeeD test as part of it. He looked at his watch and found he had moped long enough; it was time to go to the meeting. Hopefully this mission would give him a diversion from his depression for a while. He stood up and walked off, ignoring the poisonous glares from several students he passed on the way to the elevator.
A/N: Well, there's the second installment. Don't worry, it's not gonna stay THIS depressing for the whole fic! The next chapter should have some humour in it, as I'm aware it's severely lacking so far. I'll try and have it done within the week. Till then, rock on!
Wolfy