Note: Still, None of these Characters are mine except the Narrator and Dondalinger, and I think I stole his name From the Simpsons.
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La La La Hitting People Over the Head…
Hello, Narrator Here, and I am now observing another mealtime, dinner, Here at Hogwarts. The Gryffindors Have broken out into fist fights, The Ravenclaws are asleep, The Hufflepuffs are crawling around on their hands and knees and making various barnyard Noises the Professors are Dancing to music that no one else can hear and The Slytherins are Sweetly and Quietly eating their Shepard's Pie.
"MEOW" purrs Hufflepuff Ernie Macmillan.
"SNORT! Ssnnnnnnooooooooooooreeeeeeee" snores Cho Chang
"THAT'S IT, WEASLY! YOU'RE DEAD!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!" Screams Seamus Finnigan as he Springs from his perch on a decorative Gargoyle and lands on Percy' Head.
"AAACK! Get off of my head this instant! As Head boy I command you!" shrieks Percy.
"You have some Nerve looking at me like that you #@%$ing HAM!" yells Harry and throws a Ham across the room. It strikes Proffesor Snape who is in the Middle of the Macarena. Snape continues to "get down". What is Harry's Problem with Pork?
"IT IRRITATES ME!" he says in a tone that can only be expressed with capital letters. Moving on then.
"Please Pass the butter." Says Malfoy angelically.
"OH! That Is The Last F#$%ing Straw, Draco!" calls Harry from the Gryffindor table. He hurls himself straight at Malfoy.
"AAAAAIIIEEEEEEEE!" Shrieks Malfoy. Still angelically, Somehow.
They are now rolling around on the ground Harry is yelling unspeakably obscene things to Malfoy and Malfoy is saying "Cut it out Potter!" and "Ow! That hurts!" and the Narrator is rather enjoying this. Suddenly, The current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, an old Man by the name of Dondalinger came moon walking over Humming a Michael Jackson Tune.
Excuse me boys but you're bringing me down
You are yelling really really er, loud
I guess the point I mean to make is
Beat it just beat it
Prof. Dondalinger was rather boring and uncreative and just repeated this for awhile before the Narrator clobbered Him with a Spellbook. Harry then turned on the poor narrator who just can't catch a break.
"HEY! I Prefer To have Music While I'm Beating the Shit out of someone, IF YOU DON'T MIND!" he says.
Oh yeah? Well remember what I said would happen if you were mean to me?
"Um, no, not really." He says
Well I do. The Narrator picks up a heavy serving Tray and knocks Harry on the head. He collapses. The Gryffindors Cheer. Thank you, Thank you. I'll be here All week, and I'll clobber whoever you want.
"Oh, THANK you!" Says Malfoy and Throws his arms around the Narrator and Hugs her till her Eyes are popping and She hits him on the head too. Hmm this could be interesting the narrator thinks amid the gasps of horror from the Slytherins who all rush forward to see if their comrade is alive. The Narrator Brandishes her Trusty Tray. BACK YOU SAVAGES! BACK! They all say "EEEK" and go back to their dinner. The Narrator Feels Mischievous. The Narrator Drags Both Boys out of the Great Hall and into a broom closet., shut the door and waits for the fun to begin.
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Yeah, I could fit what happens into this chapter…but why do that when I can make you all wait. Ha Ha Ha! I love the Power!!!!! But let me assure you, it will be very interesting…