Chapter 4

2002

"There's our guy." Willow said, showing Tarah and Buffy the picture, "Right?"

Buffy nodded, "What is it?"

"The Arg Iav demon. They're particularly nasty. It says here they're heart-eating demons. Ew. Oh, here's the important part. Back in the day, Arg Iav blood was used as a strong fertility drug. There you go. Spike's fertile. Or was. We can't be sure."

Buffy leaned back, "God, I hate my life."

Tarah and Willow looked at eachother, then Tarah turned to Buffy, "Sweetie, what...what exactly happened with Spike?"

"Without the throwing this time. Please." Willow said quietly, a small smile on her lips.

"He...he thought I was sleeping with someone else. A human. He wasn't very nice. He was cruel, actually and I hit him, and told him the baby was his. And I left. It didn't go well." She closed her eyes, "I don't know what I'm gonna do. Who even knows if this baby's going to be born human."

Willow covered Buffy's hand with hers, "We'll help find out. In the meantime, what about telling everyone?"

"They should know." Buffy agreed, "I may as well tell the whole story, too."

Tarah smiled reassuringly, "You told me. And now, Willow. It'll be easier this time."

Willow tried not to look too uncomfortable at the mention of Tarah knowing before her, shaking off the feeling. "Want me to call an official Scooby Meeting?"

"Could you?" Buffy said gratefully.

"Not a problem." Willow said, getting up. She patted Buffy's shoulder as she passed and smiled over her shoulder at Tarah.

Later, as the sun was setting, Xander, Anya, Dawn, Tarah, Willow, and Buffy were assembled in the Summers living room. Xander and Anya curled up in the overstuffed armchair, Dawn sat with Willow on the sofa, and Tarah leaned against the wall. Buffy stood in front of them all, afraid, nervous, and thousands of other emotions.

"I have to tell you guys something." She said slowly, "And it's really...it's gonna made some of you mad. But please, I've had...a really long, painful day. I need you to just listen. Then you can yell, k?"

They all nodded, excluding Tarah and Willow.

"Is everything OK?" Dawn asked, her brow creased with worry. Willow patted her hand.

"It's fine, Dawnie." Buffy said, "But something really big's going on. And you all should know. OK. Spike and I have been...we've been involved for the past few months. It's hard to explain, but we've been seeing eachother for a while. About a month ago we were attacked by a group of demons called Arg Iav. Their blood has fertility...stuff in it. Spike got some of the blood mixed with his...and something happened." She paused, realized none of them knew what she meant, and went on, "I'm pregnant."

There was deafening silence as three shocked gazes focused on her.

Xander got up and left to room. Anya stayed still. Dawn stood and stepped in front of Buffy.

"You're gonna have a baby?"

"Yeah."

The younger sister, eyes full of uncertainty, hugged her. "Buffy...Why didn't you at least...say something?"

"Lots of reasons." Buffy whispered, hugging her tightly back, "I'm sorry."

"It's OK...But, what happens now?"

"I don't know, Dawn. I'm sorry but, I just...don't know this time. But it'll straighten out, I promise."

"I know." Dawn said and kissed Buffy on the cheek, "Love you."

"Love you, too. Thanks for not being mad at me."

"You're my sister, Buffy. And I'm gonna be an aunt. It's...weird. But I can't be mad."

Xander returned from the kitchen, "Sorry. Needed a moment."

"S'OK, Xand." Buffy said, turning away from Dawn and facing him uncertainly, "Well?"

"It's...really, really, really, weird." He said slowly, "But I'll deal. What about you, though?"

"I honestly have no clue." She said softly, "Spike didn't take the news well."

Buffy turned to say something to Willow, when Anya hurled herself at her, gripping the Slayer in a tight hug. Buffy grunted in surprise, then patted Anya awkwardly on the back.

"Thanks, An...Oxygen becoming an issue."

Anya let go, "Sorry. But...yay!"

"What?" Buffy whispered, an eyebrow rising.

"Haven't you even...thought of the good parts? I swear, sometimes you people are so pessimistic. I know it's bad. It's horribly bad. But, Buffy, it's a baby."

Buffy fell silent. Tears filled her eyes as Anya's words hit home. She had treated this like an issue to be solved up until now. But the ex-demon was right. It was a baby, growing inside her. She was going to be a mother. Someone's mom. Buffy looked up at Anya and smiled as the tears spilled over onto her cheeks, "I'm a mom."

Anya nodded, and opened her arms for another hug. Buffy accepted it openly, hugging this person who she had never really liked, who had just cleared things up for her, "Thank you, Anya."

"You're welcome." Anya said, backing away.

The room was quiet and everyone sat down, staring at eachother uncertainly, "So...What now, guys?"

No one spoke, and the room was silent again until the front door slammed open. Spike stormed in, black duster billowing behind him. He stopped, looked around at them all, then ignored them all and walked straight to Buffy. He fell to his knees in front of her, and met her eyes in a long stare.

Buffy saw the tears glistening in the ice-blue depths of his eyes, and he let out a trembling sigh.

"I'm sorry." He said shakily as the tears trickled down his pale cheeks, "I'm sorry."

He laid his head in her lap, sobbing and apologizing over and over. Buffy stared at the top of his head, then brought her hands up, stroking his tousled hair. Her own tears fell silently as she gently lifted his head up. He leaned up and kissed her gently, sweetly. They had never, ever kissed like that before in all the breath-taking moments they'd had. They had never shared a kiss so soft, almost chaste.

"I love you." He whispered to her, then leaned his forehead on her abdomen, "I love you."

Everyone else was silent, watching the tender scene unfold. Buffy bent down, resting her head on his, "I love you, Spike."