A/N: I still don't own any of these characters 'cept for the Narrator. And there is Franglais in this chapter…just a little.

Oh, and Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep it up. J

~!@#$%^&**~!@#$%^&~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#

Just Because it's Dark in here, Potter…

The Narrator Speaks in a whispering tone. Hey, all. As you well know the Narrator, (that would be me) got fed up and put Harry and Malfoy in a closet. The Narrator Shall only be calling the plays as she sees them and not speaking to the characters as she doesn't want to spoil the fun. Ooh! They're waking up. Let us observe.

"OW!!! Get the hell off my leg, Potter!" cries Draco, rather uncharacteristic of his recent demeanor, I must say. Harry opens his eyes. Why can the Narrator see this in the pitch black of the closet? Beats the hell out of me but it's tres convenient, N'est-ce pas? Oops, Franglais. Anyway:

"Sorry." Says Harry as he begins feeling around at the walls, breathing loudly. I-I-I-I I can't- Are we in a closet? I- I can't see!" There is a definite hint of panic in his voice.

"Relax, Potter, Relax." Says Malfoy soothingly, the Narrator is getting confused. "Relax. What could happen in this dark closet in which we are presumably, hopefully alone?"

"Well, the thing is, I'm really claustrophobic. It must be all those traumatic years of sleeping in the Cupboard Under the Stairs" Harry, for some reason, whispers.

Oh, that's awful, Potter." Says Malfoy disinterestedly. He begins to massage Harry's Neck (A/N: Lucky-ass sonofabitch.)

 "Uh…Malfoy, what are you doing?" asks Harry shakily. The Narrator is wondering if she wants to be in here.

"You're carrying so much tension here." He replies silkily…Harry is pressing his back up against the closet wall. Oh, crap, the narrator is feeling really bad right about now…HONEST! I had no IDEA this would happen…well everyone had SOME Idea.

But I didn't mean for this to—well, I wanna see what's gonna happen soooo…

"Er, Draco, I don't, uh, Swing that way, man…" says Harry the panic is peaking. Draco advances on him. Harry Begins to Shreik—yes folks, I said SHRIEK—And claw at the walls. Oh no. I really must put a stop to this, and yet… I am watching the Claw marks form in the wall.

"Come now, Potter, Just because it's dark in here doesn't mean we can't, set it on fire…ifyaknowwhatimean…"Says Draco. He puts his hand on Harry's Shoulder.

Oh GOD! Narrator Guilt trip.

"AAGGH!!!" yells Harry, Crossing his legs, "No is No is No!"

"Oh, but you owe me! I'm Playing along with your little Narrator Prank!" the Narrator makes a mental note to look into that later but is now extremely absorbed… "and You know the rule, 'Ass, Gas, or Grass, nobody rides for free' and I don't have a car and I don't smoke…"

"First off, Yes you do smoke, You must, how else could we explain you? and if that's what it takes, I can hook you up, I know some twins who know some people down in Hogsmeade… Second, what do you mean By 'Rides'? and third, it's Not MY Narrator Prank!" Harry ticks these off on his fingers. "NARRATOR! YES! Hey, Malfoy, The Narrators in here, she has to be! NARRATOR! ARE YOU THERE?!?!?!"

Yes. I'm right here. You don't need to shout.

"Oh Good, See Malfoy?" says Harry with much relief.

"Oh, Damn." Says Malfoy "Can't I get any bloody privacy?"

Yeah, sure, Draco, How about Harry and I leave you alone and you can do…whatever you gotta do…and we'll just go about our business?

"AACCKK!" yells Malfoy! He holds up his finger and thumb, "I was that close!" he appears to be thinking for a moment, then says, "Well, you better Keep your mouth shut if you know whats good for you!"

Oh, Dear Boy, You think no one's guessed? The Narrator collapses in fits of hysterical laughter at the mere thought of people actually thinking Malfoy was straight.

"Shut Up! Or I'll, I'll tell my FATHER! Ha!" says Malfoy

Whats he gonna do to me? And I think that he would be rather interested in this, how about I tell him, hmm? Oh, that would be fun… now, boys if you'll excuse me I have to go Find Cho Chang and hit her over the head a few times…

"Why?" asks Harry

Because I Can!!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha! The POWER!!!! La la la la. Narrator Fairy walks out of the closet in Search of the Ravenclaw seeker.

~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&

There, now, that wasn't TOO painful, was it? thanks  Nimmy Heart for the Cho suggestion, although when I started off I was going to do that anyway, but then I got into the "story" if you can call it that…and forgot…heh heh.  REVIEW PLEASE!