- - -
Reflected in the water, I see the moon trembling and shaking
The light over my head is simply looking at that
Hurt and then weakened though it's just a wounded beast
Should I live? Should I run? Everything's up to me
The sky's far off and endless but
Only the light isn't valued
I will always watch over you
This is called love "Perfect World"
When you overcome difficult times you become dazzling
What I unconsciously chose became your confidence
Sleeping at the bottom of the ocean a person is like a pearl
Clean it, polish it, the brilliancy deepens
The sky's a far off, cleared up world
Snow melts becoming liquid
The strength to stand up again
Is always inside of you
Embrace someone, embrace them, just lifting them into your arms
Probably, certainly not just kindness
The strength to stand up again is always inside of you
This is called love "Perfect World"
"Perfect World" by Aoki Kumiko. Translation by Mina-P (Minako@senshigakuen.com)
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She was in the very depths of the temple: the Chamber of the Fayth. Here, Valefor had once slept inside a crystal coffin, awaiting the prayers of a strong Summoner. Now, Lulu lay here, awaiting the coming of a new life.
Where once a soul had sacrificed its life, one would be born.
Lulu stirred.
She was stretched across a makeshift mattress, covered in deep, smooth fabric that absorbed the warmth from her fever. She was alone, at least for the moment, left to sort out events for herself.
She was mostly disrobed. Her soaking wet and torn clothes were hung awkwardly over a fire that blazed unevenly a few feet beyond her reach. She reached up to inspect her hands in the light; they seemed scratched, perhaps from the hazardous journey from the hut to here.
The world blurred.
She shut her eyes. I can see, I can see, she protested. There wasn't anything wrong with her. Cautiously, she blinked open her eyes again. The world was dim but clear. Thank goodness.
Footsteps.
She jerked her head, and her neck protested with flaming pain. How long had she been lying here unconscious?
"Hey, you awake?" Wakka almost let the bucket of steaming water he was carrying crash to the floor. He hastily set it down.
"Yes…" she whispered faintly, wincing.
"You been out a long time now," he informed her, kneeling. He took up a cloth and cleaned her face. "You okay?"
"Yes," she repeated, afraid to nod. "How long?"
"Maybe an hour. They cleaned you up good. Some of the ladies are gonna help you with the baby, 'kay?"
And now she could really smile, truly beam with happiness. The times she had done this since childhood could probably be counted using one hand.
Wakka ran his finger through her hair. Her forehead was smooth and pleasantly warm against his death-cold fingers. He knew that she had a fever. When he had attended her before, she had been mumbling incoherently and acting out some dream. But he didn't mention it now. He didn't dare do anything to disturb the look of delight on her face.
Lulu ran her eyes of Wakka. He was handsome, now. He had been all cleaned up and had a fresh set of clothes on his back. His chin was freshly shaven, his hair again clean.
Wakka shifted nervously. What was she thinking about so intently?
Lulu suddenly began to hum softly. It was hard not to do in this place, although it was starved for any sound save the fire and the pair's syncopated breathing.
The Hymn.
"Strange…why did they take me here, Wakka?"
"The safest place in the temple. Farthest in, ya?"
"The safest place, and yet…" She smirked. "Do you remember, Wakka? When we first came to this place?"
"Of course!" He was almost offended.
"I was a fool back then," she reflected, a slight chuckle edging her words. "I was so cold, and condescending. I was absorbed in myself and my own regrets, and I hated everything."
"You…" But he didn't finish.
"And I haven't changed that much, have I? I always just dwell on myself, I…" She searched his face desperately. "I'm sorry, Wakka. I could never show you how strongly I felt for you. How much I loved you."
"Don't talk like that," he scolded, gazing away from her deeply flushed cheeks. "You can show me later, right?"
"Wakka, go get a priest."
"What? What for?"
"Get one. Please. Old or New Yevon, it doesn't matter. Just send him here."
He obeyed. In a little while, the old man Yuna and Wakka had spoken with days ago appeared, a confused look on his wrinkled face. "Lady Lulu?" he asked in the fluctuating dimness.
"I have a favor, sir," she said, propping herself up on her elbows. "You were a priest, weren't you?"
"For most of my life, yes…but I have abandoned Old Yevon," he almost scowled. All his life he had been betrayed by what he had most faith in. The world had fallen apart two years ago…
"Will you marry me and Wakka?" she asked.
"Marry? I haven't married anyone in ten years, Lady," he said.
"Please."
"Well…" He could not be disrespectful to her. She was a Savior.
"It won't be anything extravagant." Married? She had never dared to imagine it. She… What exactly was she doing?
"Married, ya crazy? The baby's almost here!" Wakka apparently had been eavesdropping. He burst in.
"Just say it—just marry us," she said, arranging the plain white tunic over her flushed body and straightening her black hair with fragile fingers. She did not look at Wakka.
"If she wants it," Wakka relented, facing the former priest. "Better give it to her, ya? Can't refuse a lady…" He sighed. "Just make it quick." He turned to his lover. "Lu, we don't even have a ring, or flowers, or nothing."
She lifted the fish necklace from around her neck and gestured it at him. "Here."
He took it cautiously. The metal was hot from being on her skin. He shivered, coiling the metal chain around thick digits until they turned purple.
"I can't stand," she confessed. "Sit with me, Wakka."
The orange-haired man nodded and came down to sit where she made space. He looped his muscular arm around her back to support her.
The priest looked worried. He walked slowly to the edge of the bed, in front of them. A marriage? Here, in this forsaken place—at this awful time?
Lulu combed some of her hair in front of her face. It made an ominously dark veil. She ignored her body further progressing into labor.
The priest struggled from where to start. But then, he did it the old way, the way he had done during Calms, times of celebration. People were quick to be happy and rejoice then—when would they next get the chance?
He began to chant in old Spiran, and then he did the traditional bow. Arms up, around, head down. Pause. Sigh.
Begin.
"Praise be to Yevon. Peace is here long enough for some happiness, no matter how fleeting. Love is ever present in this world. Evil cannot harm the pure bond of two people."
Another slow bow. He really prayed this time.
"Let us all find happiness as great as that which these two people share. Let love show it's eternal beauty, let grace allow them a prosperous and long life…together."
He clasped his hands and shook them high in the air. In an ordinary situation, he would have had a silver bell between his palms, and it would have let out a resonating song for all to hear.
"Take your wife," he finished finally. "Take her and cherish her."
The man on the bed took the necklace and unraveled it, clasping it delicately around the woman's neck. Wakka then placed both hands on Lulu's face and pulled the hair away to see her eyes sparkle back at him. He held her and kissed her, in a way more earnestly and lovingly than he ever had before.
The priest exited, hurrying a little, despite his age and weakness. He had only thought the last words and not said them.
Praise be to Yevon.
Lulu fought the small tears that clung to the corners of her eyes. Finally, she was all his. It was a bit late, yes, but not too late. There was always time for a beginning, even in the face of an end.
Wakka let her slide gently onto the pillow. "I'll see if there's any flowers out there. I want you to have flowers."
"Wakka, I…" She reached out for his retreating form, but jerked her hand back down when he finally stopped and turned around. I want you to stay, but… "Would you please get the women, Wakka? I think I'm ready."
He nodded and jogged off. She'll be okay, now. There's people to help. They'll help her, I know it…
But you were supposed to be the one protecting her.
Wakka shook off this doubt. There was no time for that foolishness. If he only believed…just a little more, and it would work out. It would, right?
She screamed.
"Lady Lulu!" the youngest attendant gasped.
There were three women in all: one grandmother, one mother, and a young daughter about fourteen. The mother and grandmother had served as midwifes a dozen times, but the daughter was less experienced.
"A little pain is natural," the gray-haired grandmother soothed. She was a round woman, with just enough wrinkles on her otherwise smooth face to make her look sweet and gentle. Her hands, though, showed no signs of age. They were nice and strong as she ran them along Lulu's belly.
"It hurts more than a little…" Lulu gasped through gritted teeth. She was almost all red now, sweat pouring down her face. It was coming, coming…
The mother, whose head was covered with soft brown hair sprinkled with only a little gray, wiped Lulu's face with a soaked cloth.
The old woman's eyes narrowed with concern. She felt something strange in Lulu… Had the baby formed the wrong way? Could it even get out?
Lulu panted. Her water had broken a long time ago—hours, it seemed. But nothing was happening. The baby wasn't getting out, even though her stomach contracted tightly more and more. She wanted to screech so the whole world could hear, but her voice was already hoarse.
"Where's the baby?" the girl wondered faintly from the sidelines. Her mother had never told her about times like this. She switched her weight back and forth, anxious.
"Lulu…oh, Lady Lulu," the grandmother whispered. "Your baby might not come. Forgive me, Lady. I think its path is blocked…"
"What are you saying?" she screeched in reply. All control had left her when the pain had climaxed an hour ago. Her emotions were more violent than she ever remembered them being before. "No, save my baby. It's all there is anymore…"
We could lose them both, thought the daughter. "What should I do?" she asked her parent.
"You—"
Her words were interrupted by a cry from the black mage. I…It's time. This is…
"Let me in!" shouted Wakka from behind the closed door. He pounded his fists furiously, harder and harder. "Lu!"
"Wa…Wa…" breathed Lulu as she convulsed, her breathing strained.
He entered.
"Lu—!"
He came upon her in a rush, clutching at her desperately. "Lu, come on, what's wrong?"
"Wakka, the baby won't come," she sobbed before a restrained growl escaped her closed mouth. "Oh, it hurts, it hurts…" She was blind, suddenly. Disoriented. Confused, panicked, upset. "Wakka, please…"
Wakka bent down and kissed her forehead. He took her hand in both of his and squeezed it. "Everything'll be okay."
The rest of the world simply melted away.
It was just the two lovers, the newly married husband and wife. Around them was pure silver light like that of the moon. Just the two of them, suspended in a void of beautiful nothingness. No pain or fear. Only love.
"Lu…"
"Wakka…"
The world returned to normal, but neither noticed. The three other women were rushing around, but Wakka could not hear their cries and shouts, or see them scurrying about. He could only see and hear Lulu. He massaged her hand lightly.
"Wakka, let them save my baby," she murmured.
"What about you?"
"It will be fine. You'll see, Wakka."
"Not without you!" he cried in a hushed but panicked tone. "I could never live without you, Lu. What'd I do? Who'd tell me to talk good? Who'd take care of me, Lu?"
"Fool," she whispered. Her eyelids fluttered to a soft but final close. A gentle but satisfied smirk was left on her lips.
Wakka touched her forehead. She was cold. Her skin was white.
He wept.
Wakka was hurried out of the room. They were going to…well, what they were going to do…
He didn't want to think about it.
"Flowers, flowers," he mumbled. He came into the main room of the temple to receive many sympathetic looks from his fellow villagers. He turned away from them and began to search around.
The hum of conversation gradually returned to a cautious but normal level.
"Hey, the storm's settling down," someone said from near the door, unaware of the present circumstances.
"I don't want to look," a young woman said, holding her toddler in her arms. "Everything's destroyed!"
"It's still raining hard, but the wind's about done," another man reported from his post.
Wakka picked up his jacket from near one of the fires. It was warm and dry. He fastened it around his body and headed for the exit.
"Where are you going?" wondered the men.
"Flowers. I want flowers," he said, somewhat in a trance. He climbed out.
They were right about the rain; it was still coming down hard. However, it was not going horizontal like it had done before. The wind had apparently given up, its work complete.
The village lay in shambles. Where there was once a growing community, there was now left only the evidence of destruction. Pieces of huts were scattered in a haphazard fashion across the entire island.
Ironic.
Besaid had been lucky enough not to receive such punishment from Sin. But now that Sin was gone, nature took over to destroy a helpless village.
Ironic.
Lulu, who had survived three pilgrimages, including an ultimate showdown with Yunalesca, Sin, and Yu Yevon… She was killed by the very thing that made her happiest.
Ironic.
Wakka, using jerky movements, threw a tree trunk up with one burst of adrenaline and retrieved a single small, white flower, soaked but beautiful and intact. Every house had been torn to pieces, but this sole flower survived.
Ironic.
"Yikes, I don't want to drive it," Rikku said nervously, biting at her very pink lower lip.
"Why?" Kimahri wondered simply, boarding the other snowmobile. "Hurry."
Rikku's joints were sore and she was worried she might smash the thing, with herself and Zysac riding it, into a cliff or something. With her fatigue she wasn't confident, but she pretended it was just some sudden fear of snowmobiles.
"I'll do it," the Al-Bhed boy said, taking the controls at the front. "It's not very different from the ones in the desert, right?"
"I…guess…" Rikku climbed on behind him and wrapped her arms around his body, pulling her long sleeves over her hands to make up for not bothering with gloves.
"We go," the Ronso announced.
"Roger!"
"Roger…" mimicked Zysac, starting up the motor.
They sped down the hill.
"Do you wish to see her?" gulped the oldest woman who had been with Lulu.
Wakka shrugged, weakly. The flower stems were wet, squeezed tightly in his sweaty palms. "I…I dunno."
He was shaking.
The oldest woman took Wakka's arm with one hand and put the other on his shoulder. She guided him gently through the Cloister of Trials, where the trials were distinctly missing.
They reached the door to the Chamber. It was open.
"Go to her. Her soul, well…you know. It will leave us soon." She took her leave hurriedly.
He shook. His feet would hardly move but a few steps.
He gripped the flowers even more tightly and went inside, becoming frozen at the sight of her.
Lulu lay there peacefully. Her hair was perfectly arranged, pulled back over the bed's top edge and tied with a silvery ribbon near the end of the long, raven strands. Her body was straight and neat, perfectly settled into the comfort of the mattress. She was covered delicately with a single cream blanket. Her pale hands were folded over her flat stomach. The fish necklace sparkled over her heart.
Around her quietly blazed a dozen sweet-smelling candles in a loose oval. The smooth light ran over her body in small waves. It was akin to the sunlight dancing across a calm ocean.
The man took one slow but large step forward to stand next to her. He knelt at her side, looking straight into her face.
Gently, gently he reached out and put his hand over her clasped ones. The white flower slid easily into her cold grasp.
Wakka blinked through big, salty tears. "Lu…"
She did not move at all.
He collapsed in on himself, choking on sadness as he soaked his hands with shameless sobs. He had never felt so devastated in all his life, never cried like this. His body shook and rumbled as all his regrets and guilts and worries flooded out in loud grunts of pain.
"I love you," he spoke, when he at last could sometime later.
He remembered, suddenly, how she had hummed before.
The Hymn. His lips opened instinctively. "I e yu i…No bo me no…"
Gulp.
"Re n mi ne… Yo ju yo go. Ha se te ka na e… Ku ta ma e."
He finished singing.
Lulu's smile seemed to grow larger, somehow, in the presence of his deep and powerful voice. Her whole body began to shine with a rainbow of colors, illuminating the dark room with the very light of her.
"No—!" he grabbed onto her cold body.
It was too late.
Her image flickered, her body melting away. In a moment her angel-like body disappeared into a collection of radiant bursts of light, the pieces of her soul floating away and rising towards an unseen sky.
The sky's far off and endless but
Only the light isn't valued
I will always watch over you
This is called love "Perfect World"
- - -