I think you all should know, That When people review my stories, I read their Stories…Its an excellent way for me to find good stories written by people with similar interests, and A good way for YOU to get YOUR stories read (and reviewed) Just letting you know.  ANYWAY,

Thank you to Me123. Wow, I am on someone's Favorite Authors list. I feel so ….I don't know. Good. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed. I will continue then.

Okay, that's all I got, folks. Onward!

And Random Capitalization. Its there.

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Ladies and Gentleman, Stuff Happens…

  Bonjour les Dames et les Garcons. Je suis Le Narrator et Je suis dans un Room avec Le DARK LORD. Ok, enough French, anyway, I'm in a room with the dark Lord, a bunch of Scared People, Severus Snape who is Wisely hiding behind the Crowd so as not to be seen by the guy who is supposed to be his employer…and Dumbledore And Harry Potter who is Twitching with fury and Voldemort dances around Him Waving a Ham Sandwich in his face.  ?

   "La La La La La. See the Ham, Harry? It sees you to!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" He Says a little too happily…

Anyway, I just woke up, My Head Really hurts, and I'm tied up. So is Harry, but No one else is. Not Fair. Why the Hell isn't Dumbledore Vaporizing this Guy?

"Oh," Says Fred Weasly Stepping Forward, "He stepped Out to get some lunch."

What?! When?

"While you were unconscious." Said Fred.

Oh. Thank You Fred. You were Very Informative.

"Anytime." Said Fred and Stepped back amongst the Nameless Faceless Crowd.

Suddenly, Someone in the Crowd of bystanders Sneezes, Loudly. Voldemort looks up From Tormenting Harry. "That Sneeze! I'd Know That Sneeze Anywhere! Snape!"

A Loud "Fuck!" Can Be heard from behind The Crowd, and Severus Snape Steps Forward. And Bows Deeply. "Hi, M'lord. I like Your Robe. It's Nice. Velour?"

"Oh? Yes, Yes it is, I got it in Milan, 50% off." Replies The Dark Lord.

"Oh Really? Well, That Was quite a Steal!" Says Snape.

"Yes, Well, they Don't call me the Dark Lord For Nothing."

"Oh, No. I expect not, M'lord."

The Narrator is watching this incredulously. Is This What Evil People Do? Is This What they talk about? Damn! I always thought it would be fun to be evil. No fair.

"Well," Says Voldemort, "We do this, and we kill people. Insolent people. People who annoy us."

The Narrator is Perfectly happy with listening to Snape and Voldemort talk about Italian fashion For Eons. Really.

Suddenly, Colin Crevey steps forward, pointing a finger at Snape accusatorily, "I always KNEW you were Evil!!! I Knew it!!!" He says.

Harry rips his eyes away from the Ham Sandwich to look at Colin. "Duh, Colin. That's old news. You don't know the Half of it, now, Shut up, shut up right now and Get back before you get yourself and everyone else killed." He says. Well Said Harry. Well Said. But The Poor Narrator does not even get a polite acknowledgement for her nice compliment because Harry has Gone Back to Staring loathingly at the Ham Sandwich. If I were that Ham, I would Be quivering. Positively terrified.

"Oh, Shut up, You." says Voldemort, "Or I'll Kill you first."

Oh, shit. Its Just not Fair. I'm only here to narrate the fucking story, why should I get dragged into this!? I Do NOT need this! It's just My job! I picked it because I love Stories, I love Writing, And I love fiction! I HAD A DREAM!!!! I want to be a writer someday! I'm going to be rich and famous! A spotlight comes on the Narrator as she speaks and sympathetic music plays quietly in the background. Thank you. I Just need to pay the bills! I just Need to Feed my cat! I just need to buy all kinds of shoes! It's Just My JOB!!!  WHY MEEEEEEEHEEHEEHEEEEE? The Narrator Begins to sob uncontrollably. Then she quickly composes herself because sobbing uncontrollably makes it difficult to narrate. *Sniff*  Right. Sorry. *Sniff Sniff*  Anyway, Snape is standing next to Voldemort Smirking as Harry twitches. Slimey asshole. When the hell is dumbledore getting back? Oh, shit. Voldemort Is advancing on the narrator. Oh god, I'm gonna Die! Tell My Lawyer that My Sister can't have any of my stuff… tell my Mom I love her….give My cat to my Friend Jessica…Harry, I love you!

"What?" Says Harry.

Huh? What? Nothing, I didn't say anything. Hey, look Harry, Ham.

"Ugh, Ham" says Harry and Turns His Hateful gaze to the Ham Sandwich. Hey, wasn't Voldemort advancing on me? Shut up shut up. No he wasn't.

"Yeah, I was, but I got bored during your little monologue and went back to my Evil Corner. It's much Eviler over here, eh, Snapey?" says Voldemort.

"Oh, Yess M'lord. Fer Sure." Said Snape as everyone raised an eyebrow, except for Ron because he couldn't raise One Eyebrow, so he raised both.

"Oh, good," says Ron, "I was wondering when I'd get mentioned. It's been ever so long since I was."  Right. Okay…. Well, back to RELEVANT  Things….

"Hey!" Says Ron, "Mean."  Anyway, Something exciting should be happening about now………Now………………..

Now…………….  Everyone stands around looking  uncomfortable……… now…..….maybe not….

Suddenly, there was a crash and Someone comes swinging through the window on a silver rope. He falls on his face. "OW! Sonofa—" Says this Er, Mysterious stranger. He stands up. "Have No Fear, Gilderoy Lockhart Is Here!" Heaven help us.

"Uh," Said Snape. " Didn't you lose your memory? Didn't you go away forever?"

"Yeah, I lost my Memory, and I still have a gap of about thirty years—" Lockhart Blanches, and his Eyes Widen….  "Ah! I mean, twenty-two years! Ha ha, of course. Heh heh. But I remember who I am. ME! Lockhart the Wonderful! but that's about it. I don't remember much of my life before….But I am Here to rescue you all!" Right. A voice can be heard amongst the crowd that can be identified as Hermione's.

"Wow! He's Really brave. Huh, Ron. Right? Right Ron? Am I right? Huh?" thank you for that Hermione. Shut up.

"You are most assuredly Correct, Miss Granger." Says Lockhart Haughtily. "Now, What is the Peril you poor people face? What is it? Pixies? I've learned how to handle them. Not so hard as you all thought. What is this danger? What?" He looked around the room. Turn around, Lockhart, dearie. Lockhart turns around, and sees who is standing in the corner.

Voldemort waves. Snape somehow smiles Sweetly. Hey, cool alliteration. Go me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screams Lockhart and he jumps right back out the window, unfortunately for him, he neglects to grab the rope he rode in on. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—" Thud.

"Oh Dear!" Squeaks Hermione, "I hope He's alright."

"Oh, Shut your hole, Hermione." Says Ron. Right on, Ron.

"Thanks." Says Ron, Graciously.

"Thanks Again." Says Ron. Wow, he's much better at taking compliments than Harry, who only has eyes for that STUPID HAM! Harry look up from the ham sandwich in Voldemort's hand.

"Huh?" he says.

Oh nevermind. Look, does anyone have any Midol or Asprin or something?????? No one says anything. Fuck you all. I have to go to the bathroom. Voldy?

"It is down the hall, I believe. Snape, You may Escort her, see that she does not get away." Says Voldemort. Stupid jerk. He's so obviously enjoying this.

"Of Course." Says Voldemort

Um, Mr. Brilliant, I'm tied up.

"What, Miss Narrator, You can't Hop?"  Says the Dark Lord. You Bastard.

The Room is Filled with Voldemort's high, cold laughter. That Bastard.

The Narrator Hops sulkily out of the room followed by Snape, also sulkily.

Down with the Dark lord.

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Well, there you have it and there you go. Chapter seven as Promised. It took me hours to write it. I was busy, okay? Now, review review review. Because you love me. And I love you. (not in any kind of kinky way. Sorry.) anyway, I don't know whay I just said all that. All I meant to say was please review. It's been a very stressful night.