2002

Sunnydale

At the dinner table: The Witches, the Ex-Demon, the Whelp, the neutered Vampire, the Key, the Slayer, the Watcher, and the Murderer.

"So." Faith said with that same air of confidence she had carried with her back in high-school. Everyone else stayed quiet, most of them avoiding eye contact with eachother, mostly staring at their plates. If any one of them had really stopped and looked into the ex-convicts eyes, they would have noticed the slight flicker behind dark irises, the wavering of confidence behind a false bravado.

Willow was the first to break the silence by clearing her throat softly, "So, Faith...Have you decided what you'll do in Sunnydale?"

Faith smiled a little and mentally thanked Willow, "Not yet, Red. I was thinking of getting my GED and taking classes at UC Sunnydale next semester."

"It's good you want to move on with your education," Giles said in that polite, watcherly way of his, "Have you thought of what direction you want to go in?"

"Not yet." Faith replied, dazzling with a smile, "I just want to be normal, maybe."

"You do know this is a Hellmouth, right?" Anya broke in. Xander nudge her and she was quiet, "Sorry."

"I'm aware." Faith whispered, her eyes locking on the top of Xander's head, which was all she could really see, since he was hunched over his plate of lemon pepper chicken.

There were several moments of eating in silence before Tarah spoke, "Dawnie. How's school?"

"Almost over!" Dawn replied excitedly, "And once school's out, Faith said she'd teach me how to--"

"How to what?" Xander interrupted, suddenly glaring at Faith, "Tell us, what *were* you going to teach Dawn? What *could* you teach her?"

Faith returned his stare, internally shaking like a lost child. He kept her gaze for a moment before tossing down his napkin and standing.

"I'll be outside." He muttered.

Buffy tried to grab his arm, "Xan--"

"Not now, Buf."

They all watched him go, then several pairs of eyes zeroed in on Faith. She looked down, and then hurriedly stood to follow him.

2003

Sunnydale

"They call him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!"

Little pins, pricking my skin, tiny little needles. Like fire. Like Fire. Slayer...Please. Needles in my skin.

"You walk in worlds the others can't imagine."

"Yes..."

Buffy...Dru? Please...Flames in my hair. Spiders on my hands. Help. Please...

Spike tried to stagger to his feet, his eyes hazy with pain and hallucinations, while his head throbbed with memories and visions.

"Spike...Spike..."

Buffy?

"Spike, where are you? I can't find--"

Screaming. Why was she screaming? BUFFY!

"HELP! SPIKE!"

No. No! NO!

"I can't see...Spike..."

Blackness again.

2002

Sunnydale

Faith slipped out the back door to find Xander sitting on the steps, staring off into the yard. She stood silently, but he sensed her anyway.

"Do you know how long it took me..." He began, "To forget you?"

Faith was silent, her arms hugging her denim jacket closer to her body as she shivered slightly.

"Every time I saw one of those road signs. You know. The ones that say 'Danger, sharp curves ahead'. I would think of you. I'll steer you 'round the curves. Remember?"

"Yes."

"Sometimes, I would wake up at night and I couldn't breath. I would think of you then. And the first time I made love with Anya, I was so...scared. Though maybe she'd shove me out the door not two minutes after. I thought of you then, too."

"I--"

"Shut up." He snapped, "Did you even ever think about me? While you were living it up with your mayor, or sitting in that cell? Did you ever ONCE feel sorry for making my life Hell for close to a year?"

"I thought about a lot." Faith said quietly, in a very out-of-character voice that sounded full of tears and remorse, "Especially you and Wesley. I hurt you both the worse."

"What'd you do to him?" Xander asked taking his eyes away from her.

"Bad things." She replied, sitting next to him on the steps, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make it all better."

"I know." She let out a long breath, "I know that, Xander. But I am...for all of it. I was just so fucked up. I still am. But at least now I can take what's going on inside my head and just control it. I wish I could have done that back then."

"What's done is done, Faith." Xander said evenly, "There's no going back."

"I know! I know it better than anyone!" Faith threw up her hands, "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to beg." He said coldly.

"What?"

"That's exactly what I want. But I don't have it in me to make you beg for forgiveness." Xander snorted, "It's called remorse."

Faith sighed deeply, "Will you forgive me? Ever?"

"Someday. Till then, I'm just going to try and...tolerate you."

Faith flinched at his iciness, but knew she deserved it. Xander stood up and went to the door.

With a pause he laid his hand on the handle, "I never wanted you to rot in a cell, Faith. I'm glad you're out."

And with that, he left her sitting alone in the warmth of the night.