Chapter 15: Magus

My anger was intense, as hot as any fire of hell. Cyrus had pissed me off more than almost any other being in existence. I focused my anger into my hands, and Cyrus' breastplate began to get hot. I could only stare at him in anger, but I felt more surprised. I knew whom Schala meant when we left the room, but I could hold myself back no longer after her reply.

It soon became apparent to me that I was still weak, because despite my ominous presence in front of Cyrus, It became difficult to stand. After a few moments, I let go and reeled backwards, holding my head. I went down on one knee and looked up at Cyrus with a burning hatred. I didn't really know why I hated him. I had no reason to, other than the simple fact that he wanted to be close to Schala.

It's hard, really, when you find yourself in a situation where no matter what, you're reacting wrongly. It wasn't like he was attacking Schala, or using her. My only reasoning would be that I cared for her more than anything for more than 20 years, and I didn't deserve her. It was almost as if I felt that if anyone could care for her as much as I do, they didn't deserve her either.

"Magus, are you alrigh........"

"Shut up! You are not to speak!" I shouted at him and shot to my feet. My pain wasn't an obstacle, my anger easily knocked it down. "Hmph, you don't know what I have done for her. You don't realize the sacrifices, the pain, the crimes I endured for her. You think that you can just appear and take her, I don't think so. I don't care if she loves you or not......" I was being selfish, childish. I wanted to make him cry, but this time I didn't want to apologize. I wanted to reveal his weakness. I wanted him to break down. I wanted to harm him. "You don't deserve her. You're lucky I allow you to be in her presence." I walked right up to him, right to his face. I could see my reflection in his eyes. He didn't back down, however. A trait of Cyrus' that is most admirable.

"Magus, she is not yours. She isn't a possession. She deserves to choose for herself. She is a human being, who is capable of making her own decisions. I don't care if you can kill me or not. I love her, Magus. I don't want to hurt her. I figured you would have to love for her to be happy for her."

"Hmph, I can never be happy. I live with unimaginable pain that will never stop. She means more to me than my own life. You've known her for days. Love doesn't just happen. 'Love at first sight' is just a fairy tale, life doesn't work that way." My argument was getting more defensive. I wouldn't make it easy for him.

"Magus, why can't you just give it a chance. Think of yourself. Think about you and Lucca. Do you want to deny Schala the chance at the happiness that the two of you share. Don't deny it, you can't be as cold and joyless as you claim."

My mind was filled with thoughts. My life had been previously filled with so mach pain that it overshadowed the happiness I had found. Or was I really joyless, and Lucca just eased the pain. While I thought to myself, Cyrus stared at me. His face was a face that beseeched me, begged me to allowed them to be together. I thought of Schala. Cyrus was as good a man as you could find. He was honest, kind, and loyal, if a little headstrong. I let my own hatred of him seep over. I backed away from him. I could feel Schala's presence, peeking through the door. The more I felt her, felt her thoughts, her hope, the more I was inclined to step aside.

"Cyrus......" I paused, trying to find the words. "........I...I.....fine." as soon as I conceded, Schala rushed in and hugged me, wrapped her arms around my neck so tightly that it almost cut off my breath.

"Janus, thank you!" I wasn't exactly sure of what she was thanking me for. She had always been of a strong will and probably would have stayed with him, even if I hadn't been convinced. Still, I wasn't about to let them just have it.

"Schala, I'm not just going to accept it. Now don't think I'm doing this just because of what's going on, but I plan on taking a long trip. You may never see me again. I had originally intended for us to go on it together, but if you stay........" I knew she would. She didn't have to say anything. She just hung her head for a moment, then she kissed me on the cheek.

".....Thank you, Janus, for everything you've done. Goodbye." she frowned and walked over to Cyrus. I charged out of the room and left them. Lucca saw me leave and followed me outside.

"What are you doing! You're just going to leave her?!" She asked.

"Lucca, I can't just stay in one place and watch over her. If she is going to stay with him, than I will just have to leave without her. I somewhat regret my decision, but I stand by it. I'd regret it if I stayed."

"What.....?" her emotions were to mixed with her logic to see what I was saying.

"Cyrus will protect her. He'll take care of her. She no longer needs me, and it will be just easier if I stay out of their lives, especially if they are going to live in 600 A.D. There is nothing that staying put can offer me, save you, but I have a feeling you'll go with me."

"Magus...."

"Please, Lucca. That 'man' is dead. Please, call me by my real name."

"Janus. Of course I'll go with you, but that's not the point. You worked so hard to find and save her. You nearly killed yourself! You're going to ignore all the time, all the work, all the heart you put into it and leave her?"

"Yes. It's the best way."

"How can it be the best way?!"

"Lucca, she could never be with a man with me around. I'm too protective, too needy. I'm a child, Lucca. I'm a child with a toy. I can't share the toy if I have it. I have to keep it to myself. I'm not going to make her my possession." I began to drift. "It's a shame. I bet she'll look beautiful in her wedding dress."

"Ma...Janus. Are you sure that this is the only way? That you can't learn to let someone else love her. I know how much it's going to hurt you."

"I know how much it will hurt too, but this is for her. I love her, Lucca, and that's why I have to leave her. I'm just glad you're there to help me. You'll ease that pain, Lucca." I could feel a single tear form in my eye as I spoke. Lucca kissed me and I held her in my arms. I had decided.

Now, I often look back. I wonder if what I had done was right. Could I have stayed? Could I have learned to let Cyrus be with her. I didn't want to take the chance. If I stayed, I risked ruining two people's happiness. Leaving meant I risked ruining my own, but I would always have Lucca.

I went to bed that night, knowing that the next couple of days may be the last time I would see Schala ever again. My eyes would not close, even if I had wanted them. My thoughts were plagued by that fact. My soul was tormented. When I did sleep, I could only dream of her, and after a few minutes, it turned into a nightmare. I saw her die in many different ways. I saw her in torment, in pain. Then the scene would change, Cyrus would rescue her. She would call him her hero. She had forgotten about me, her first hero.......

*I know it's been a while. I hope you guys like this chapter. I'm working on chapter 3 for The Prophet's Apprentice, which is slowly coming around. The next chapter is kick-ass, trust me. Keep the reviews coming. I'm hopin to break 100 here, pretty quick. Maybe 2 or 3 more chapters (wow, don't I sound arrogant) Also, I'm going to start posting edited, typo-less chapter to this story soon. PEACE

Dark Creation