We own nothing.
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Sauron was defeated by Islidur, king of Gondor. As Islidur ran to the fire of Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring, he tripped and fell over flat on his face. When he went to see was caused his fall, he found the One Spork. He grabbed the spork and ran to the fire, into which he threw the ring immediately. But the One Spork held too much power of Islidur. He stood there clutching the spork and announced,
"I claim this Spork as my own!" to which he added "Screw you guys. I'm going home."
The hearts of Men are weak and easily corrupted. The spork wasted no time taking over Isildur.
"And then the monster started growling at me, so I threw rocks at him, and I killed him, and then he started flying around on rocket boost, and I got to ride inside his head, and now the monster's my friend, and we wen-- and we went to get Slurpees..." Islidur had been rambling off insane phrases all day. His men could take it no longer, and they turned their arrows on him.
"I'm up Dawson's Creek without a paddle!" Islidur cried as the arrows struck him and he fell into a conviently placed river.
And so the Spork betrayed Islidur. and was lost for over 2 thousand years. Until it was found again.
A Stoor by the name of Dregol found the spork while fishing in the river. As he looked in awe at the mighty Spork, his friend Smeagol came up behind him.
"Give me that, my love." Smeagol said.
"Why? I found it." Dregol said defensively.
"Cause its my birthday, my love. And I wants it" Smeagol made a move to grab the Spork.
"Don't have a COW, man!" Dregol yelled.
Smeagol choked Dregol to death and took the Spork for himself. His friends and family grew tired of his constantly babbling and banished him, so he went and hid under the Misty Mountains. Smeagol started making a disturbing noise in his throat, and was called "Gollum".
For five hundred years, the spork poisoned his mind. But the spork got tired of Gollum. So, the spork abandoned him and was found by the most unlikely, yet plot forming person! Bilbo Baggins from the Shire!
and as Bilbo found the renegade spork, a strangled voice cried out in the darkness.
"D'OH!!!"
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Sauron was defeated by Islidur, king of Gondor. As Islidur ran to the fire of Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring, he tripped and fell over flat on his face. When he went to see was caused his fall, he found the One Spork. He grabbed the spork and ran to the fire, into which he threw the ring immediately. But the One Spork held too much power of Islidur. He stood there clutching the spork and announced,
"I claim this Spork as my own!" to which he added "Screw you guys. I'm going home."
The hearts of Men are weak and easily corrupted. The spork wasted no time taking over Isildur.
"And then the monster started growling at me, so I threw rocks at him, and I killed him, and then he started flying around on rocket boost, and I got to ride inside his head, and now the monster's my friend, and we wen-- and we went to get Slurpees..." Islidur had been rambling off insane phrases all day. His men could take it no longer, and they turned their arrows on him.
"I'm up Dawson's Creek without a paddle!" Islidur cried as the arrows struck him and he fell into a conviently placed river.
And so the Spork betrayed Islidur. and was lost for over 2 thousand years. Until it was found again.
A Stoor by the name of Dregol found the spork while fishing in the river. As he looked in awe at the mighty Spork, his friend Smeagol came up behind him.
"Give me that, my love." Smeagol said.
"Why? I found it." Dregol said defensively.
"Cause its my birthday, my love. And I wants it" Smeagol made a move to grab the Spork.
"Don't have a COW, man!" Dregol yelled.
Smeagol choked Dregol to death and took the Spork for himself. His friends and family grew tired of his constantly babbling and banished him, so he went and hid under the Misty Mountains. Smeagol started making a disturbing noise in his throat, and was called "Gollum".
For five hundred years, the spork poisoned his mind. But the spork got tired of Gollum. So, the spork abandoned him and was found by the most unlikely, yet plot forming person! Bilbo Baggins from the Shire!
and as Bilbo found the renegade spork, a strangled voice cried out in the darkness.
"D'OH!!!"