"Kagome…" His voice is hoarse, almost restless, as his breath, because his mouth is mere inches from mine, fans softly against my lips. "Please stay... don't leave (me)... you promised to be by my side…"

The words hurt so badly; they tear me apart from the inside out. It's like a mockery of my feelings… a ploy almost to make me forget my whole purpose, my whole resolve, of what I thought to accomplish today. When have I become so heartless... so horrible? If it wasn't for Kikyo this wouldn't be happening, but that's like saying if it wasn't for the sun we would be forever in night… things happen, it's like cause and effect… they can't be changed. To change a single tread of time is like to change a small grain of sand. It may seem unimportant or useless, but sometimes one speck affects a million others… one speck is the difference between life and death... hatred and love... Kikyo and Kagome. I cast my brown eyes up at him, blinking in surprise, perhaps a grain of sand can not be changed, but the course… its current course does not have to follow the same path.

My voice is a quiver, it seems to float in the recesses of my mind, as if coalescing from out of nowhere. "Inuyasha," I whispered softly, my heart shattering with the weight of my words, "I.. I…I don't want to see you any more."

It's almost as if I can hear the world gasping, shaking and shattering to a million pieces to come spinning wildly around my shoulders. In mere moments the fallen rush of silence, so much heart-wrenching silence, collapses between him and me. It's like I've walked into the street and have just a moment to turn and see the huge bus about to crush the life from me.

"KAGOME, NO!" He cries out my name, his hands holding onto my shoulders as if he could force this refusal back into my very being. "You DON'T know what you're saying!!!"

"It's time I go…" I've known this moment in my heart, I knew it was coming, but I never wanted to accept it. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to stay with him so badly that I deluded myself that he could simply loved me completely. Why could this time not be different... why did I let myself think it could be? "You know I have to go…" ~I can't live like this any more… I can't be second… not to her… not any longer~

"You don't know what you're saying... you can't... CAN'T leave me." His voice is almost like a child, the pain and heartbreak surprise me, but they do not stay my trembling words and thoughts. Until he can clearly push aside the imitation, until he can accept the truth between us, we can never be as we were meant to be. "I told you I loved you…"

Red cheeks and eyes, I look away and say nothing. He left me first... he left me a long time ago. I can't compete with Kikyo... I can't ever compete with someone who is dead. She followed him to the afterlife, and he will end up following her. What can I say to that? No amount of him pulling me into his arms and kissing me will change that. No amount of 'I love you,' will either. This isn't a game; it's real! My feelings are real! It's not some sort of guesswork where a few token words can win over my support and love… why can't he understand that?!!!

…And

Afterall, didn't he and Kikyo share a kiss first, hug first, had a promise of a life before me… Saying such simple things when he's played this game really hurts me… and I hate it. "Mo, STOP IT, INUYASHA.. don't make me say I hate you.. don't!"

I'm astonished with myself, and I can see the shock in his eyes. "Kagome.." he rasped softly and then abruptly, he's on his feet, his hand reached for my arm as he jerks me upright. "So… we're really breaking up now…" His voice is almost flat, emotionless, and I can tell he's shutting himself up again.

~Inuyasha…~ I want to tell him, ~There is no way I can follow you…~ Yet my eyes drift away from his, my voice rebels and is silence. There is nothing to describe this heartache… nothing… I wish I could be so simple minded… so simple and be like that girl who had waited for his return to the well only to say she would stay in the background and support him. Why can't I be like that girl again? Why do I suddenly demand so much?

Or is it, I've realize, that I don't demand enough?

It wasn't enough. To stand with him, is NOT enough… how could I think it was? Because I missed him, because I loved him and I wanted to be with him always… not only as his support, but as the woman he would love and protect. But Kikyo followed him into death and she would have him follow her into death... I wanted him to live... I want him to follow me into life. Perhaps that was where all this stemmed from… his inability to choose life… to fully choose me…

My eyes drift away from his, my voice heavy and boarding on something indescribable. "Sayonara, Inuyasha…"

"What about the shards," he whispered hoarsely his eyes once more hidden by his hair.

"They are in my backpack.. you can have them…" It's amazing how easy my voice says that… In my backpack.. you can have them… I dip over the well's edge and within moments I'm gone.

The flutter of life that connects me to him…

…has…

…completely…

…shattered.

Sayonara Inuyasha… Good bye…