We, the highly sugared-up Spork Ladies, own nothing.
*************
The Fellowship escaped from the mines, and instantly collapsed to the ground in grief. Only Legolas, the stoic elf, and Aragorn, the emotionless man, had dry eyes. Frodo was crying as well, but was thankfully silent from idiotic mumbling.
However, Aragorn was not about to let them all become Orc fodder when the sun went down, so after some brief words of urgency, they started off toward the blessed forests of Lothlorien.
It wasn't long before the Spork started up on Frodo again, and soon the grief of the group was mingled with heavy annoyance. This did not improve anyone's mood in the least.
"Frodo, would you PLEASE shut up?" Aragorn asked from the front of the group.
The hobbit looked shocked. "I mock you with my monkey pants," was his mere respond, but it did not seem as heart-felt as any of his other ramblings.
Even Gimli, who had once been encouraging the halfling, was ready for him to shut his mouth. He knew that they were about to enter the realm of the Lady of the Woods, and he was one dwarf that didn't want that sorceress getting her hands on him. He walked up behind Frodo and slapped his hand over the hobbit's mouth, who promptly bit him.
"OWWWWW!" Gimli's cry could be heard throughout the woods, and suddenly the group found themselves surrounded by elven archers who had their bows drawn, loaded, and pointed at them.
"Crap oh crap oh crap oh crap on a crap cracker!" Frodo yelled, and then yipped in pain as Sam kicked him as a sign to shut up.
The head archer, Haldir, looked at the hobbits questioningly, but then shook it off. "It's no matter. We heard the dwarf breathing a mile away."
"Not surprising, with those ears," Frodo mumbled under his breath, but of course, Haldir had heard him and took offense. The elves all tightened their bows, and only Legolas' rapid response in elvish saved Frodo from unspeakable torment.
"Avo dhag in arnaw. Echad i spork sen glavro." **
The archers laughed, and relaxed a little. Even Aragorn gave a little chuckle. The rest of the group were stuck in the dark until Aragorn told them later.
Haldir thought for a moment. "Well, I guess I can let it pass. I'm under orders to bring you to Her Lady alive, anyway. Alright, get out the blindfold for the dwarf, and a gag for the hobbit."
It took quite a bit of fighting, but it ended up with all of the remaining Fellowship blindfolded, and Frodo double gagged as well. "Bloody hell!" Frodo screamed as he tripped on a rock. Little did he know that Haldir had placed it there. And together, they all walked into the lovely land of Lorien.
**Sindarin for "Don't slay the moron. The Spork makes him babble."
*************
The Fellowship escaped from the mines, and instantly collapsed to the ground in grief. Only Legolas, the stoic elf, and Aragorn, the emotionless man, had dry eyes. Frodo was crying as well, but was thankfully silent from idiotic mumbling.
However, Aragorn was not about to let them all become Orc fodder when the sun went down, so after some brief words of urgency, they started off toward the blessed forests of Lothlorien.
It wasn't long before the Spork started up on Frodo again, and soon the grief of the group was mingled with heavy annoyance. This did not improve anyone's mood in the least.
"Frodo, would you PLEASE shut up?" Aragorn asked from the front of the group.
The hobbit looked shocked. "I mock you with my monkey pants," was his mere respond, but it did not seem as heart-felt as any of his other ramblings.
Even Gimli, who had once been encouraging the halfling, was ready for him to shut his mouth. He knew that they were about to enter the realm of the Lady of the Woods, and he was one dwarf that didn't want that sorceress getting her hands on him. He walked up behind Frodo and slapped his hand over the hobbit's mouth, who promptly bit him.
"OWWWWW!" Gimli's cry could be heard throughout the woods, and suddenly the group found themselves surrounded by elven archers who had their bows drawn, loaded, and pointed at them.
"Crap oh crap oh crap oh crap on a crap cracker!" Frodo yelled, and then yipped in pain as Sam kicked him as a sign to shut up.
The head archer, Haldir, looked at the hobbits questioningly, but then shook it off. "It's no matter. We heard the dwarf breathing a mile away."
"Not surprising, with those ears," Frodo mumbled under his breath, but of course, Haldir had heard him and took offense. The elves all tightened their bows, and only Legolas' rapid response in elvish saved Frodo from unspeakable torment.
"Avo dhag in arnaw. Echad i spork sen glavro." **
The archers laughed, and relaxed a little. Even Aragorn gave a little chuckle. The rest of the group were stuck in the dark until Aragorn told them later.
Haldir thought for a moment. "Well, I guess I can let it pass. I'm under orders to bring you to Her Lady alive, anyway. Alright, get out the blindfold for the dwarf, and a gag for the hobbit."
It took quite a bit of fighting, but it ended up with all of the remaining Fellowship blindfolded, and Frodo double gagged as well. "Bloody hell!" Frodo screamed as he tripped on a rock. Little did he know that Haldir had placed it there. And together, they all walked into the lovely land of Lorien.
**Sindarin for "Don't slay the moron. The Spork makes him babble."