---Chapter 4---
The next night, it rained . . .
Victoria walks into the mansion, having completed a day of acting - sort of. She passes the door of the office, an instant before Adam Winthrop demands her presence.
She back tracks a few steps and walks into his office where he sits upon his elaborate desk chair like a proud king, a proud cruel king.
"It's 10:53. Where have you been?" -Adam.
"Out with some other students. Fitting in as I was told." -Victoria.
"Yes, well, I have been told you are quite popular, fitting in nicely." -Adam.
"Yes." -Victoria.
"Good." -Adam.
"Why am I going to school in Roswell? We both know it's not for my sake." -Victoria.
"That will be told on a need to know basis." -Adam.
"But I do need to know. What are we doing here - and what will you have me do this time?" -Victoria.
"You will be told when the time comes." Adam said sharply. "Remember, I am the one who gives the orders."
"Of course, Adam." Victoria says, standing there looking at him. "May I be dismissed?"
He inclines his head to the stairs. Victoria takes her cue and leaves his office. She walks up the stairs and goes to her room. Once inside, Victoria closes the door and lets out a sigh, throwing down her leather jacket. Something was going on. Adam never did anything unless he had a reason. Everything always tied in, because she knew him to be purposeful and calculating. She just wondered what he'd make her do this time.
Victoria hated her life - or at least she would have if she'd known any other one. She'd been with Adam since day one. He taught her a lot and made her do things she didn't want to do.
But this was her life. No one knew how different it was - nothing was as it seemed.. She was strong, though. That is how she continued to cope, go through the motions, act, do as she was told. There was no alternative, not for her. What a farce her life was. She was wealthy though.. or at least Adam was. She'd always lived in luxury, she didn't know another way of life in that regard, either. $300 pairs of shoes, designer suits, her own limousine driver and limousine for her use, servants, her own maid, mansions - the whole nine yards. She was used to it, so she perhaps took it for granted and did not respect it. But she'd never really had what she wanted or needed aside from material things- which she'd never necessarily wanted or needed in the first place.
Scarcely had she crossed her room when there was a knock at the doors before her personal maid entered. "Is there anything that you require, Miss Winthrop?"
Victoria shakes her head. "I'll run my own bath tonight. You may go."
"Yes, Miss Winthrop," Marie says before she leaves, closing the door softly behind her.
Victoria crosses her room and opens the doors to her bathroom. She stoops to the large tub and turns the water on, adds bubble bath and gathers towels before stripping and sinking into the tub.
She had always lived an almost solitary life. Adam, when he didn't need her for something, had always been gone a lot and she'd always had private teachers. She'd never really had friends, never a boyfriend, no family- although everyone thought Adam was her father. Oh he played such the strong, proud, indulgent father in public. Perhaps he was proud, after all when she did as he ordered, he was proud. And perhaps he was indulgent in material affairs, but then he had such an abundance -money meant nothing to him.
It had been lonely, but she'd learned early on to deal with it. And so she had. She had always had people around her- watching her, guarding her - like she was a prisoner. Her watchers or guards or whatever one would call them rarely ever spoke, they'd just been there. She grew up with that. Now was the first time she didn't have Adam's men watching her, following her- or at least she didn't think so. And for such a change there had to be a reason.
Sometimes Adam had taken her with him to military bases, campaigns and such when she was younger, but she always hated government facilities. And she knew why. She had nightmares of a particular one, a secret placeâE¦ She closed her eyes. She did not want to think of *that*.
Now, she must play the part of a normal teenage girl, when she really didn't even know what 'normal' was, although she had been told about it from Adam, so she'd be convincing of course. It was sometimes difficult, because she didn't want to. Partly because it was painful to do so and partly because all she'd known was loneliness her entire life. And now she just wanted to be left alone. She didn't want to be around all of the kids at Roswell High, who knew nothing.
She saw images of Michael Guerin behind her closed eyes. Something about him - Maybe he seemed kind of different, because he was more a loner than the rest, he seemed unpretentious, he seemed mysterious, some kind of aura about him or some such. Thinking of his large brown eyes, his shoulder- length wavy brown hair, he looked such an angel. If there were such a thing as angels. She highly doubted it. She'd been raised to be intelligent and scientific minded, which hadn't stopped her secret unwavering faith and belief in true love. Enough of Michael Guerin, she thought. At the thought of true love another man entered her mind, nameless, faceless. . . She just knew he had to be out there somewhere. All of her life, she'd been able to feel him sometimes.
Victoria opened her eyes and gazed out the large windows across from the bathtub to see the stars beyond. He had been the one who'd gotten her through some of the worst times in her life. She couldn't remember a time when she didn't dream about him. Sometimes she thought she had been born with it in her mind. Whenever she woke, she never remembered his face, but she had remembered glimpses of his reassuring touch upon her, his hand in hers, his presence that she could feel, his hand in hers, other people too. .. but none of them mattered really, just him. But anyway she couldn't remember seeing their faces either.
There was a mocking little voice that told her she was a stupid little fool for believing in such. This was the real world. There was no true love, life was painful and the world was cruel. But the pushed it aside and always believed anyway. Just believing that some day she would escape from all of this and find him. She had to find him. But she knew it would not be anytime soon. She had tried to leave before, a long time ago - but she'd been brought back and punished so that she had learned not to attempt such again. She still hadn't completely given up on freedom and him.. wherever he was.
Of course Adam didn't know this. She could be the perfect actress as she had been taught long ago, only Adam didn't know she sometimes acted with him too. Victoria leans up from inside the bathtub and reaches under a robe on a nearby stand and withdraws a notebook and pen. She opens it and sets the book on the large dry rim of the tub. Her outlet was writing, something else Adam didn't know. Victoria begins to write . . .
Hear the rain outside my window
Laying in the bath tub
Feel I'm drowning in my own tears
But they haven't come this day
Living in a memory
Of time before this one
Surely I must have been content once
A memory of love eternal
Whispering past the ears of destiny
Can he feel my pain
Wish I could touch his face
Look into the eyes of the one
That I'd die for
One moment in time
Well worth any cost
.just one more moment in time
the rain sounds within me
could it take all my pain
..wash it away
let me drown in this longing
let me suffer the fires of hell
let me die a thousand deaths
but give me one moment to live in
one glimpse of his face
and I will pay any price
curse the time of separation
how long has it been?
Hazy shadows dance
Memories of our life past
Was there more than one?
Wish I could remember
I just know the feeling
The kind that never leaves you
I just know a love
The kind that never leaves you
My true love, my beloved, my destiny
Are these but words?
Shadows of other times
That I can not grasp
If I could make them stop
The dancing in my soul
I would see you
Worlds apart
Where are you
I just know
Death, space, and time
Ca't keep us apart forever
Can you feel me
When you look up at the sky of stars
Can you see me -
A shadow of fate
That haunts your soul
I can see you -
A shadow of love,
That haunts me always
At night,
When the world is dark
And full of moonlit promises
I feel close to you,
When I look at the same sky
Knowing, hoping, believing
You're under the same sky
IâEd give up forever
For one more moment in time
. . .
---End of Chapter 4---
Poem above "One Moment in Time" was written by me as well. It is the theme for this fic and an excerpt from it appears at the beginning of this fic, as well as the title coming from this piece.
The next night, it rained . . .
Victoria walks into the mansion, having completed a day of acting - sort of. She passes the door of the office, an instant before Adam Winthrop demands her presence.
She back tracks a few steps and walks into his office where he sits upon his elaborate desk chair like a proud king, a proud cruel king.
"It's 10:53. Where have you been?" -Adam.
"Out with some other students. Fitting in as I was told." -Victoria.
"Yes, well, I have been told you are quite popular, fitting in nicely." -Adam.
"Yes." -Victoria.
"Good." -Adam.
"Why am I going to school in Roswell? We both know it's not for my sake." -Victoria.
"That will be told on a need to know basis." -Adam.
"But I do need to know. What are we doing here - and what will you have me do this time?" -Victoria.
"You will be told when the time comes." Adam said sharply. "Remember, I am the one who gives the orders."
"Of course, Adam." Victoria says, standing there looking at him. "May I be dismissed?"
He inclines his head to the stairs. Victoria takes her cue and leaves his office. She walks up the stairs and goes to her room. Once inside, Victoria closes the door and lets out a sigh, throwing down her leather jacket. Something was going on. Adam never did anything unless he had a reason. Everything always tied in, because she knew him to be purposeful and calculating. She just wondered what he'd make her do this time.
Victoria hated her life - or at least she would have if she'd known any other one. She'd been with Adam since day one. He taught her a lot and made her do things she didn't want to do.
But this was her life. No one knew how different it was - nothing was as it seemed.. She was strong, though. That is how she continued to cope, go through the motions, act, do as she was told. There was no alternative, not for her. What a farce her life was. She was wealthy though.. or at least Adam was. She'd always lived in luxury, she didn't know another way of life in that regard, either. $300 pairs of shoes, designer suits, her own limousine driver and limousine for her use, servants, her own maid, mansions - the whole nine yards. She was used to it, so she perhaps took it for granted and did not respect it. But she'd never really had what she wanted or needed aside from material things- which she'd never necessarily wanted or needed in the first place.
Scarcely had she crossed her room when there was a knock at the doors before her personal maid entered. "Is there anything that you require, Miss Winthrop?"
Victoria shakes her head. "I'll run my own bath tonight. You may go."
"Yes, Miss Winthrop," Marie says before she leaves, closing the door softly behind her.
Victoria crosses her room and opens the doors to her bathroom. She stoops to the large tub and turns the water on, adds bubble bath and gathers towels before stripping and sinking into the tub.
She had always lived an almost solitary life. Adam, when he didn't need her for something, had always been gone a lot and she'd always had private teachers. She'd never really had friends, never a boyfriend, no family- although everyone thought Adam was her father. Oh he played such the strong, proud, indulgent father in public. Perhaps he was proud, after all when she did as he ordered, he was proud. And perhaps he was indulgent in material affairs, but then he had such an abundance -money meant nothing to him.
It had been lonely, but she'd learned early on to deal with it. And so she had. She had always had people around her- watching her, guarding her - like she was a prisoner. Her watchers or guards or whatever one would call them rarely ever spoke, they'd just been there. She grew up with that. Now was the first time she didn't have Adam's men watching her, following her- or at least she didn't think so. And for such a change there had to be a reason.
Sometimes Adam had taken her with him to military bases, campaigns and such when she was younger, but she always hated government facilities. And she knew why. She had nightmares of a particular one, a secret placeâE¦ She closed her eyes. She did not want to think of *that*.
Now, she must play the part of a normal teenage girl, when she really didn't even know what 'normal' was, although she had been told about it from Adam, so she'd be convincing of course. It was sometimes difficult, because she didn't want to. Partly because it was painful to do so and partly because all she'd known was loneliness her entire life. And now she just wanted to be left alone. She didn't want to be around all of the kids at Roswell High, who knew nothing.
She saw images of Michael Guerin behind her closed eyes. Something about him - Maybe he seemed kind of different, because he was more a loner than the rest, he seemed unpretentious, he seemed mysterious, some kind of aura about him or some such. Thinking of his large brown eyes, his shoulder- length wavy brown hair, he looked such an angel. If there were such a thing as angels. She highly doubted it. She'd been raised to be intelligent and scientific minded, which hadn't stopped her secret unwavering faith and belief in true love. Enough of Michael Guerin, she thought. At the thought of true love another man entered her mind, nameless, faceless. . . She just knew he had to be out there somewhere. All of her life, she'd been able to feel him sometimes.
Victoria opened her eyes and gazed out the large windows across from the bathtub to see the stars beyond. He had been the one who'd gotten her through some of the worst times in her life. She couldn't remember a time when she didn't dream about him. Sometimes she thought she had been born with it in her mind. Whenever she woke, she never remembered his face, but she had remembered glimpses of his reassuring touch upon her, his hand in hers, his presence that she could feel, his hand in hers, other people too. .. but none of them mattered really, just him. But anyway she couldn't remember seeing their faces either.
There was a mocking little voice that told her she was a stupid little fool for believing in such. This was the real world. There was no true love, life was painful and the world was cruel. But the pushed it aside and always believed anyway. Just believing that some day she would escape from all of this and find him. She had to find him. But she knew it would not be anytime soon. She had tried to leave before, a long time ago - but she'd been brought back and punished so that she had learned not to attempt such again. She still hadn't completely given up on freedom and him.. wherever he was.
Of course Adam didn't know this. She could be the perfect actress as she had been taught long ago, only Adam didn't know she sometimes acted with him too. Victoria leans up from inside the bathtub and reaches under a robe on a nearby stand and withdraws a notebook and pen. She opens it and sets the book on the large dry rim of the tub. Her outlet was writing, something else Adam didn't know. Victoria begins to write . . .
Hear the rain outside my window
Laying in the bath tub
Feel I'm drowning in my own tears
But they haven't come this day
Living in a memory
Of time before this one
Surely I must have been content once
A memory of love eternal
Whispering past the ears of destiny
Can he feel my pain
Wish I could touch his face
Look into the eyes of the one
That I'd die for
One moment in time
Well worth any cost
.just one more moment in time
the rain sounds within me
could it take all my pain
..wash it away
let me drown in this longing
let me suffer the fires of hell
let me die a thousand deaths
but give me one moment to live in
one glimpse of his face
and I will pay any price
curse the time of separation
how long has it been?
Hazy shadows dance
Memories of our life past
Was there more than one?
Wish I could remember
I just know the feeling
The kind that never leaves you
I just know a love
The kind that never leaves you
My true love, my beloved, my destiny
Are these but words?
Shadows of other times
That I can not grasp
If I could make them stop
The dancing in my soul
I would see you
Worlds apart
Where are you
I just know
Death, space, and time
Ca't keep us apart forever
Can you feel me
When you look up at the sky of stars
Can you see me -
A shadow of fate
That haunts your soul
I can see you -
A shadow of love,
That haunts me always
At night,
When the world is dark
And full of moonlit promises
I feel close to you,
When I look at the same sky
Knowing, hoping, believing
You're under the same sky
IâEd give up forever
For one more moment in time
. . .
---End of Chapter 4---
Poem above "One Moment in Time" was written by me as well. It is the theme for this fic and an excerpt from it appears at the beginning of this fic, as well as the title coming from this piece.