---Chapter 6---
It's such a weary feeling
When you've been stealing from yourself
Wishing the world away
Blaming someone else
No one can do this for you
Straighten your hair
Fix your face
Take all the pain inside your
Wash it away-
~+~
White everywhere. Victoria turns her head a little as she lays on a narrow hospital-like bed. Walls, floor, everything was white, except for tiny little gray stripes in the tile floor and the metal bars on the bed. She hurt everywhere and could barely move her head a little. She felt sick and ached inside- no, she hurt everywhere. She had stayed overnight at this room in the base. She didn't remember much this time, only the terror before she blacked out. And then people standing over her at different times ..blurry faces.. but she remembered Adam's. Of course he always oversaw these 'procedures.' She never knew what was injected into her or what all was done, but this had been going on every so often, all her life. The most frequent had been when she was about thirteen. It hadn't been done for a few years now, she had hoped it would never be necessary again. For that is what Adam said it was - necessary. Something was wrong with her or something, is what she understood and she needed these injections to be okay like she was supposed to, that what Adam had always told her.
She had nightmares while she was unconscious, about when this was done long ago in another place. Only it had been worse then, because she'd been much smaller and not as strong. She'd make it though, she knew. Adam would see to that, although, she didn't know why. Blackness threatened to overwhelm her again, so she didn't fight it. She closed her eyes and welcomed the pain-free void.
~+~+~+~+~
Sunday afternoon, back at the mansion, Marsellus stood conversing with Adam Winthrop.
"I hope you better news to report than last week,"Adam Winthrop says, looking at the man.
"Yes, Mr. Winthrop. Indeed I do. I have the answers to your last questions." The man handed Adam another folder, which Adam opened.
"Elizabeth Parker is not one of them, sir." -Marsellus.
Mr. Winthrop frowns a bit, looking at some photos, medical reports and other info contained in the new folder.
"And---?" -Adam.
"Our placement in the school managed to obtain a bit of her blood for analysis." -Marsellus.
"What about this Isabel Evans?" -Adam.
"The subject's true sister, sir. I am certain. Her display of abilities left no question to this. I saw it myself. And of course there are photos," Marsellus gestured to the folder.
"I see, Marsellus." Adam said.
"What's next Mr. Winthrop?" Marsellus asked.
"We know that the subjects' other friends- Maria Deluca and Kyle Valenti are their parents' natural children, so there is no need to test them. There is only one more." -Adam
"Michael Guerin. Find out about this one." -Adam.
"Oh, and have them all watched closer, *especially* our subject and his sister, until we find out if there are any more of them in Roswell."
"Yes, sir." The man called Marsellus left the mansion.
"Two of them." Adam says, looking at photos of Isabel and Max laying out on his desk. "Perhaps there is more. No, indeed there are *more*."
~+~+~+~+~+~
Victoria realized someone was talking to her. She snatches her head up to see Mrs. Danielson, her literature teacher, looking at her. "Earth to Miss Winthrop," the teacher says.
Victoria had been so tired, she'd almost been in a daze. "I'm sorry Mrs. Danielson.. could you repeat the question?"
"I asked your thoughts on the character of Hamlet's Ophelia." -Mrs. Danielson.
After a moment, Victoria answered, "I think she is a tragic character, but is one of my favorites."
"Why is that?" -Mrs. Danielson.
"For one, because of her love for Hamlet." -Victoria.
"Yeah well, I think she's a pathetic character, betraying the guy she's supposed to love and then being stupid and killing herself." Victoria jerked her head over to look at the person who had said that. It had been Michael Guerin who sits a couple rows away. She was surprised.
"On the contrary, she wasn't pathetic. She wanted to be loyal to her father like a good daughter should, yet she loved Hamlet truly. If she killed herself, it was because of her conflicting loyalties, her father's death and more so maybe because of Hamlet's betrayal of *her*, whom she truly loved."
"And what would you know of something so deep as love and loyalty, let alone truly loving someone." This came from Michael Guerin. The class had started to act up after hearing Michael first talk, but became silent listening to this exchange.
"I think it is you who do not understand true love. What a shame." The class bell rang just when Michael was about to say something back. Victoria grabbed her books and left the class immediately.
She was walking down the hall when Michael Guerin came up beside her. "What the hell was that supposed to mean?" -Michael.
Victoria looks at Michael beside her, rather shocked that he was talking to her.
"I'm sure before I'd finished explaining, you would have the last word and run off like always."
"What?" -Michael.
"Oh, excuse me, it's just a shock to me that you're speaking to me. Seeing as I've been hear a month and the only thing you had to say was a smart- alec remark." -Victoria.
They continued to walk along. "Me? 'Smart Alec'? It's you who are too stuck up to speak to anyone who doesn't worship you."
"Unbelievable." -Victoria.
Michael frowns. "What, no come back?"
"I think you just got one, Michael Guerin." Victoria walks over to a picnic table and sits. Michael stands frowning by himself for a moment before walking over and sitting down on the table next to her. "No, this discussion isn't over," Michael says.
Victoria looks up from grabbing her lunch out of her backpack. "I'm afraid it is. I'm too tired to mess with your know-it-all attitude."
"Well, maybe if little miss popularity didn't party so much, she wouldn't be tired, no to mention look like hell."
Victoria looks up sharply. "You have *no* idea why I'm tired. You know nothing about me."
"Oh, don't I? Seems to me your rich girl attitude is wearing on ME. Too shallow to even defend your opinions." -Michael.
Victoria glares at him. The nerve of this guy, she couldn't even believe she was having this conversation especially with him. "Maybe it's just that I don't think you would understand what true love is, so why should I waste my breath?"
"You might be surprised what I understand." Michael says, looking at her.
"Well, maybe I'll tell you some time." Victoria says.
Michael nods and stands up, still looking at her and then thinking as he walks away. He couldn't believe he'd just had that conversation. What about her made him behave that way- it was bizarre, even more so that he just nodded and left. What was he thinking? Something about her just rubbed him in a strange way he'd never felt before. And he thought, as he walked away, he *would* like to hear what she had to say..
~+~+~+~+~
After lunch, Victoria stands looking at herself in the mirror of the girls' bathroom. Michael Guerin had said she looked like hell. She touched the dark circles still visible under her makeup and the skin that was paler than usual. She looks very tired. She was. She couldn't even concentrate. She had wondered sometimes if Michael Guerin would ever talk to her- but she never imagined their conversation would erupt in fire. Unbelievable. She sighs and picks up her backpack and pushed open the bathroom door. Victoria walks outside where she spots the dark gray car waiting for her.
She goes to the car and slides into the seat and lays her head back against the cool leather seats for a while. She glances absently out the windows and just sees bare desert. Wait a minute, they weren't headed back to Las Cruces, were they? She pushes a button, sliding down the glass divider a bit. "Where are we going, Jackson?" She asks her driver.
"Mr. Winthrop requests your presence. I am to take you to the base, Miss Winthrop."
Oh, not again! Victoria thought. And so soon. When would this end???
~+~
you're waiting for someone,
to put you together
you're waiting for someone,
to push you away
there's always another wound to discover
there's always something more you wish you could say
~+~
It's such a weary feeling
When you've been stealing from yourself
Wishing the world away
Blaming someone else
No one can do this for you
Straighten your hair
Fix your face
Take all the pain inside your
Wash it away-
~+~
White everywhere. Victoria turns her head a little as she lays on a narrow hospital-like bed. Walls, floor, everything was white, except for tiny little gray stripes in the tile floor and the metal bars on the bed. She hurt everywhere and could barely move her head a little. She felt sick and ached inside- no, she hurt everywhere. She had stayed overnight at this room in the base. She didn't remember much this time, only the terror before she blacked out. And then people standing over her at different times ..blurry faces.. but she remembered Adam's. Of course he always oversaw these 'procedures.' She never knew what was injected into her or what all was done, but this had been going on every so often, all her life. The most frequent had been when she was about thirteen. It hadn't been done for a few years now, she had hoped it would never be necessary again. For that is what Adam said it was - necessary. Something was wrong with her or something, is what she understood and she needed these injections to be okay like she was supposed to, that what Adam had always told her.
She had nightmares while she was unconscious, about when this was done long ago in another place. Only it had been worse then, because she'd been much smaller and not as strong. She'd make it though, she knew. Adam would see to that, although, she didn't know why. Blackness threatened to overwhelm her again, so she didn't fight it. She closed her eyes and welcomed the pain-free void.
~+~+~+~+~
Sunday afternoon, back at the mansion, Marsellus stood conversing with Adam Winthrop.
"I hope you better news to report than last week,"Adam Winthrop says, looking at the man.
"Yes, Mr. Winthrop. Indeed I do. I have the answers to your last questions." The man handed Adam another folder, which Adam opened.
"Elizabeth Parker is not one of them, sir." -Marsellus.
Mr. Winthrop frowns a bit, looking at some photos, medical reports and other info contained in the new folder.
"And---?" -Adam.
"Our placement in the school managed to obtain a bit of her blood for analysis." -Marsellus.
"What about this Isabel Evans?" -Adam.
"The subject's true sister, sir. I am certain. Her display of abilities left no question to this. I saw it myself. And of course there are photos," Marsellus gestured to the folder.
"I see, Marsellus." Adam said.
"What's next Mr. Winthrop?" Marsellus asked.
"We know that the subjects' other friends- Maria Deluca and Kyle Valenti are their parents' natural children, so there is no need to test them. There is only one more." -Adam
"Michael Guerin. Find out about this one." -Adam.
"Oh, and have them all watched closer, *especially* our subject and his sister, until we find out if there are any more of them in Roswell."
"Yes, sir." The man called Marsellus left the mansion.
"Two of them." Adam says, looking at photos of Isabel and Max laying out on his desk. "Perhaps there is more. No, indeed there are *more*."
~+~+~+~+~+~
Victoria realized someone was talking to her. She snatches her head up to see Mrs. Danielson, her literature teacher, looking at her. "Earth to Miss Winthrop," the teacher says.
Victoria had been so tired, she'd almost been in a daze. "I'm sorry Mrs. Danielson.. could you repeat the question?"
"I asked your thoughts on the character of Hamlet's Ophelia." -Mrs. Danielson.
After a moment, Victoria answered, "I think she is a tragic character, but is one of my favorites."
"Why is that?" -Mrs. Danielson.
"For one, because of her love for Hamlet." -Victoria.
"Yeah well, I think she's a pathetic character, betraying the guy she's supposed to love and then being stupid and killing herself." Victoria jerked her head over to look at the person who had said that. It had been Michael Guerin who sits a couple rows away. She was surprised.
"On the contrary, she wasn't pathetic. She wanted to be loyal to her father like a good daughter should, yet she loved Hamlet truly. If she killed herself, it was because of her conflicting loyalties, her father's death and more so maybe because of Hamlet's betrayal of *her*, whom she truly loved."
"And what would you know of something so deep as love and loyalty, let alone truly loving someone." This came from Michael Guerin. The class had started to act up after hearing Michael first talk, but became silent listening to this exchange.
"I think it is you who do not understand true love. What a shame." The class bell rang just when Michael was about to say something back. Victoria grabbed her books and left the class immediately.
She was walking down the hall when Michael Guerin came up beside her. "What the hell was that supposed to mean?" -Michael.
Victoria looks at Michael beside her, rather shocked that he was talking to her.
"I'm sure before I'd finished explaining, you would have the last word and run off like always."
"What?" -Michael.
"Oh, excuse me, it's just a shock to me that you're speaking to me. Seeing as I've been hear a month and the only thing you had to say was a smart- alec remark." -Victoria.
They continued to walk along. "Me? 'Smart Alec'? It's you who are too stuck up to speak to anyone who doesn't worship you."
"Unbelievable." -Victoria.
Michael frowns. "What, no come back?"
"I think you just got one, Michael Guerin." Victoria walks over to a picnic table and sits. Michael stands frowning by himself for a moment before walking over and sitting down on the table next to her. "No, this discussion isn't over," Michael says.
Victoria looks up from grabbing her lunch out of her backpack. "I'm afraid it is. I'm too tired to mess with your know-it-all attitude."
"Well, maybe if little miss popularity didn't party so much, she wouldn't be tired, no to mention look like hell."
Victoria looks up sharply. "You have *no* idea why I'm tired. You know nothing about me."
"Oh, don't I? Seems to me your rich girl attitude is wearing on ME. Too shallow to even defend your opinions." -Michael.
Victoria glares at him. The nerve of this guy, she couldn't even believe she was having this conversation especially with him. "Maybe it's just that I don't think you would understand what true love is, so why should I waste my breath?"
"You might be surprised what I understand." Michael says, looking at her.
"Well, maybe I'll tell you some time." Victoria says.
Michael nods and stands up, still looking at her and then thinking as he walks away. He couldn't believe he'd just had that conversation. What about her made him behave that way- it was bizarre, even more so that he just nodded and left. What was he thinking? Something about her just rubbed him in a strange way he'd never felt before. And he thought, as he walked away, he *would* like to hear what she had to say..
~+~+~+~+~
After lunch, Victoria stands looking at herself in the mirror of the girls' bathroom. Michael Guerin had said she looked like hell. She touched the dark circles still visible under her makeup and the skin that was paler than usual. She looks very tired. She was. She couldn't even concentrate. She had wondered sometimes if Michael Guerin would ever talk to her- but she never imagined their conversation would erupt in fire. Unbelievable. She sighs and picks up her backpack and pushed open the bathroom door. Victoria walks outside where she spots the dark gray car waiting for her.
She goes to the car and slides into the seat and lays her head back against the cool leather seats for a while. She glances absently out the windows and just sees bare desert. Wait a minute, they weren't headed back to Las Cruces, were they? She pushes a button, sliding down the glass divider a bit. "Where are we going, Jackson?" She asks her driver.
"Mr. Winthrop requests your presence. I am to take you to the base, Miss Winthrop."
Oh, not again! Victoria thought. And so soon. When would this end???
~+~
you're waiting for someone,
to put you together
you're waiting for someone,
to push you away
there's always another wound to discover
there's always something more you wish you could say
~+~