A Relaxing Vacation…
Gone Wrong!
Fanfic by AmphitriteAuthoress Notes: If you guys get annoyed, by the big spaces, tell me so. I don't know whether I should change it or not…so…
Warnings: Valley girls, Otogi (Duke Devlin), and a crying Yami. Oh yeah, an overprotective Lei. ^^
- - - - -
Lei: [runs into room where muses are whispering] [yells] I'VE GOT IT!!
Y. Malik: You've got what? A brain?
Lei: NO!
All: [odd looks]
Bakura: [snickers loudly]
Lei: I mean—I know where to take you now! Besides, half of my brain is frozen over. Like a polar Ice Age.
Yami: Okaaaaay…
Lei: So…Guess! Guess!
Isis: Uhh…Egypt?
Lei: [frowns] That was a choice. Except. You all are Egypt-ish. I think. So you don't need to go there.
Serenity: What about me?
Lei: You don't count.
Serenity: [scowls]
Lei: Guess!
Yugi: Somewhere in Europe?
Lei: Nope. T_T I haven't got the money. $_$
Seto: France? I went there three times. They have a lot of good—[starts rambling about his trips to France]
All: [automatically zone him out]
Lei: Guess again!
Bakura: [snorts] Duelist Kingdom?
All muses: WHAT?
Yami: Thief, are you insane?
Bakura: [thinks for a moment] …actually, yes.
Yami: -__-;
Lei: Actually, Bakura was pretty close.
All muses: WHAT??
Bakura: [smirks]
Lei: Wipe that smirk off your face, Bakky-chan.
Bakura: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! The reign of stupid and embarrassing nicknames.
Lei: [mutters] Now you know how I feel when you guys call me "Lee-lee." [loudly] ANYWAY, we're going to…
Dramatic music plays.
Lei: ^^; I still have to get that radio fixed. Stupid modern conveniences.
All Yamis: I agree! [look at each other] [start yelling at one another randomly]
Others: …
Lei: Anyway, we're going to…Hawaii!!! [grins happily]
Silence. Deadly silence. Fourteen hours and three and a half minutes later…Seto: [stops rambling]
Yamis: [stop arguing]
All: [look blankly at Lei, who is still grinning stupidly]
Malik: [fearfully] Hawaii?
Isis: [sarcastically] How original…
Lei: [grin changes to frown] It's not my fault!
Y. Malik: I bet it is.
Serenity: Why Hawaii?
Lei: …because it was cheap.
All: [silence]
Lei: [grins cheerfully again] Too bad if you don't like it! I'm taking you whether you like it or not! Since I already bought all the tickets. Sheesh, you know, I don't have a cent left. I wonder where all my money went… I remember I used to have a bunch…it just disappeared.
Bakura and Y. Malik: [shift uncomfortably]
Huge wads of cash and piles of coins fall out of Bakura and Y. Malik's pockets.
Bakura: Umm…I can explain.
Lei: [glares] Did you steal all my money?
Yugi: [whispers to Yami…as best as he can] I think that's a bit obvious…
Y. Malik: It was all Bakura's evil plan. He tricked me into it! [backs away from Lei]
Bakura: It was not!
Y. Malik: Was too!
Bakura: Was not!
Y. Malik: Was too!
Bakura: NOT!
Y. Malik: TOO!
Lei: [grabs them by their ears] SHUT UP!!!
Bakura and Y. Malik: [pout]
Lei: I'm letting you two off easy this time, but next time, I'll hand you over to Faye.
Bakura and Y. Malik: [whimper OOC]
Lei: [growls] Understand? Good. [shoves them away]
Serenity: Well somebody's in a bad mood.
Lei: [completely unaware of what had just happened] Who?
Serenity: Never mind…
Lei: Okay, let's get going!
***
After having much trouble with Seto's limo chauffeurs, they finally reached Narita Airport. Everyone had fairly small luggage, except for Lei. She had a small backpack, two large suitcases, and was holding a small duffel bag.
All: [stare at Lei's stuff]
Lei: [looks at her stuff] What?
All: …
Bakura: What the hell is in there?
Lei: [matter-of-factly] Stuff.
Yugi: What kind of stuff?
Lei: [simply] Stuff.
All: -_-; [silently decide that they're not going to get anything out of her]
Lei: [grins] Okay, I've got the tickets, let's go! [starts walking confidently into the busy airport]
All: [follow reluctantly or cautiously]
Ryou: [thinking] I hope nothing goes wrong…
Lei: [walks up to the counter]
Counter Girl: [perkily] Like, hi!
Lei: [still grinning from ear to ear] Hi.
Counter Girl: Like, do you, like, have your, like, passports or I.Ds?
Lei: [hands her fourteen passports, each oddly colored]
Counter Girl: [as she's stamping] Omigawd! Like, so, like, many people!
Lei: [nods, getting slightly annoyed with the valleygirl accent]
Counter Girl: [looks at Malik's passport] [looks up at Malik himself] Hey, cutie. When are you, like, going to get, like, back? Maybe then we can, like, get together for, like, dinner…[grins seductively]
Lei: [glares so darkly at Counter Girl that her eyes turn bright red] HEY, DITZ, STAY AWAY FROM MY MALIK!
Counter Girl: [slyly] What, like right do you, like, have over me?
Lei: [angrily] [is turning red] I happen to be a very insane authoress and a proud member of TPSC! Don't get me mad. MALIK is MINE.
Counter Girl: [sarcastically] Sure. That's, like, what they all, like, say.
Lei: [is hyperventilating with anger] …YOU!! [jumps onto the counter to strangle Counter Girl] [starts choking her]
Counter Girl: [is turning purple with lack of oxygen] [tries to push Lei off]
Lots of people gather around and start chanting 'Fight! Fight!'All Muses: [blink confusedly]
Lei: [looks apprehensively at the crowd gathering] Uhh… [waves hand to make them go away] What are you looking at, you demented people? [thoughtfully] Wait…I'm demented. …Never mind. [is losing grip on Counter Girl's neck] Bakura! Help?
Bakura: [smirks evilly] Whatever you say, Lee-lee…
Lei: [ignores it for the moment but makes mental note to kill Bakura again later]
Bakura: [uses the Millennium Ring to trap Counter Girl's soul in one of those name tag thingies]
Counter Girl Body: [slumps to the floor]
Lei: [laughs evilly]
Crowd people: [odd looks] [walk away]
Lei: [calms down]
Ryou: Okaaay…
Lei: [looks around her] [calls] Yo, somebody! We need to do our luggage stuff!
Counter Guy: [walks over] May I help you?
Lei: [eyes widen] Oh…my…god. Otogi?!?
Otogi (Duke Devlin in the dub): What?
Lei: [glomps Otogi for a second, then decides to go back over the counter and glomp Malik instead] ^^
Malik: O.o
Otogi: [looks down at body of Counter Girl] You killed Julia! Thank you!! You must be angels sent from heaven!
Lei: [mutters] Not exactly, but I do come from another place. [looks at Otogi, who is dancing happily…uh…^^] Why are you so happy?
Otogi: DUH! She was one of those stupid cheerleaders who kept following me around. [kicks Julia, the Counter Girl]
Lei: [laughs evilly, attracting attention again] [looks around] What?
Yugi: Umm…Lei? Don't we have to GET ON THE PLANE?
Lei: [after a few seconds] …Oh yeah.
Otogi: [is all smiley now] Give me your luggage that you want to ship.
Yugi, Ryou, Serenity, Isis, Malik, and Seto: [set their luggage on the weighing thing]
Lei: [nods and puts two suitcases on the weighing thing]
Otogi: [looks at Faye] And you, miss?
Faye: [mutters] Finally, somebody got it right. [to Otogi] Oh, no thanks. I'll…uhh…need this for later use. [laughs nervously] [hugs her bag]
Lei: [narrows eyes suspiciously but says nothing]
Otogi: [looks at the yamis] And you three?
Yami: What do you want us to do?
Bakura: What do you mean ship?
Y. Malik: [suspiciously] Where are you going to put it?
Otogi: [odd look] In the airplane of course. In the storage area.
Bakura: [narrows eyes] Is it safe?
Otogi: Of course!
Yami: [bursts into tears] I don't want to say good-bye to my stuff!
All: [silent, watching Yami cry]
Lei: [grabs Yami's bag] [shoves it onto the weighing thing] We all have to make sacrifices, Pharaoh.
Yami: [sniffles]
Bakura: [clings onto his bag] I'll keep mine.
Y. Malik: Me too.
Otogi: [hands them a bunch of papers and stuff]
Lei: Whatever. [grabs the passports and papers and puts into her backpack] [cheerfully again] Let's go!
- - - - -
End notes: Well, I'm sorry. About my choice on where they're going, you know? Heh. I know that none of you actually SUGGESTED Hawaii, but I dunno…I just felt like making them go to Hawaii. SO SORRY!!
Anyways, I want to thank Shiro Amayagi, Rosz of the Angel, and cheetah for submitting their thoughts! Arigatou!
Anyways anyways, ^^ They're not going straight to Hawaii. Oops. You're not supposed to know that. [uses eraser to erase all memories of what I just said] [blinks] [looks at eraser] Why doesn't this damn thing work? ^_^ Oh well.
The next chapter is already half done, so it'll be out soon! Review!