"Koi ni ochiiru… To fall in love…"
I sit on a rock by the sea, whispering these words to myself. My hair is loose, draping over my shoulders like a stage curtain to a magnificent show. I shiver from the chilly breeze as the ocean brings to my senses the calming force that everyone seems to talk about. But my heart is not calm at all. Inside, there is a want; a deep and yet simple desire for any mortal like myself…
"Ren'ai… Love…"
That is what I've always wanted from this life and nothing more. Just to have someone love me and for me to love him. Not want me…that is a different story entirely. But to LOVE me…for the sensation of my sweet soul, to accept my dangerous nature, to not flinch at the sight of my gaze…to warm my icy heart that has been as colder than steel for so long. I want the pain of this hurt to go away so badly. I want him to hold me in his securing arms and make me feel safe for once and to taste his reassuring kiss that tells me that everything will be all right… That is all I ask. Will this ever be true?"Why am I denied this emotion?" I ask miserably to the waves as I bury me head in my arms, "It is so simple to love, so why can't I have it? Don't I need it? I feel so empty…"
A lone, lifeless tear slides down my cheek, the only hint of any emotion in this jinounzingen. I feel like a puppet of some sort, rejected of any 'privileges' these humans can have, and played in this life for some cruel joke of entertainment for the devil. I smile in spite of myself, though, at the thought of men who had desired me before."What pathetic fools."
They had no idea whom they were dealing with. Such cocky, overconfident men who had nothing to do in their spare time. So they seduced women to the bed, but the thrill would never last long. But not me. They never realized that I wasn't one of them. No, but they were obviously too stupid to recognize that…until I cracked a few ribs. Back then I didn't realize that I was actually saving a few souls from their greedy hands, though some of them didn't really care one way or the other. But the few who were helpless virgins did thank me… Wonder why I never welcomed their appreciation… Heh, I suppose I was afraid of 'tainting' my reputation. I'll never forget them, though. Their own purity of heart deserves to be remembered… Enough of them, though, for now. Those witless girls were all most likely cared for well, with families…unlike me. I have no family. Gero wasn't; he was a monster, a traitor, a madman. But a genius, I have to admit. But I still hate him and his memory to the day…the day of my revenge on him and his creations. I can't help but hope that day will be soon, however my human half longs for it to never come. It is only proper of course…
My thoughts now drift back to my love. What about him? I could never have him. I never had the chance. I am a jinounzingen, daughter of Raditz, the continuation of a lost race of no love…I am the product of evil. No evil thing like me could ever be capable of love of any kind, not this time or any time. It doesn't matter that my mother was human, of which her loving blood flows freely through my veins. She could have been a Namek for all care, because it doesn't matter what whose blood I have. I can't love… and yet I yearn for it so badly…
"I want you," I whisper again to no one, "I need you. I wish you were mine. I wish you were real…"
~
I stand here, leaning against the bark of a tree trunk, listening. Listening to the few scraps of whisperings from the angelic lips of Saiyajin halfling sitting on the rock. Her head is buried in her arms, her light brown hair covering the shape of her beautiful body. I am sad to see that her back is to me, and that I can't see those heavenly eyes.
"…I feel so empty…" she whispers, her voice setting off a strange thing in my head.
I stiffen at the thought. This thought is churning in my mind, burning like a candle flame. What is this? It doesn't seem to be a childish idea any longer, but a feeling. And what would this be? I know it is something that Goku and Chi Chi feel when they're together. It is like that with Bulma and Vegeta, too, however much they seem to hate each other. Also with Tienshinhan and that Lunch girl. But it is something they also feel for each other as friends and as mothers and fathers to their children…Love…? Could it be that? I shake my head. It is not possible. Nameks are not sexual. We are----what we are. I only possess vague ideas of my heritage, but I know for certain that we cannot be attracted to the 'opposite sex!'
Or is it possible?
I shake my head again. Lately, that has become quite a habit of mine. That is, when I'm doubtful. Strange… I was never uncertain about something like this before…Not when I was Piccolo Daimao…I smirk in self-satisfaction. Sometimes, I can't help but long for those days, when everyone was terrified at the sight of me. Most of them still are, and it pleases me to see their fear…except for the few, selected Z Senshi. Especially Gohan and Goku. That halfling and his father got me good. I am still surprised at the fact that they managed to soften me up as their friend and model figure. The others don't seem so sure, but they readily accept me and my habits. They also respect me, too, for they actually know what I'm capable of. They've seen me grow back my limbs enough to know that!
I hear a sniffle from the woman on the rock. I turn my head in time to see the sparkle of a lone tear drip with a splash on the surface of the rock. I draw my breath in quickly before I can help myself. This feeling is raging and tearing inside my heart; I want to run to her and wrap my arms around her and tell her everything is all right. I want to kiss her sweet lips to smooth over the scarring memories of our pasts. I want to erase the hurt inside of her in hope that she'll accept me, too. I love her so much…but a Namek like me can never love. Simply of our heritages. She is half Saiyajin and half cyborgish human. And sexual. That fact should be enough to suffice both of us.
I turn to walk away. But the space between us stops me, pleads with me. The whispering voice in the air seems to scream at me. Whether is it imagination or not, I do not know.
"…I want you…I need you…I wish you were mine…I wish you were real…"
~
A perfect night. The sky was a brilliant dark blue in the sharp contrast to the dotting white lights called stars, sometimes obscured by the creeping pillows of dark clouds which foreshadowed the coming of great evil. However, evil seemed to have hidden itself tonight as the sweet innocence of a single, round moon shone its enchanting light through the darkness. Sotari sighed as she looked up to admire the beauty.
"I wish my life was this beautiful…" she whispered to the stars.
"That's only if you make it to be like that," said a gruff voice behind her.
Sotari whirled around to see the dim, eight-foot figure walking towards her from the shadows of a palm tree.
"Piccolo-san!? I didn't see you there!" she wanted to say, but didn't.
Instead, she merely scowled at him, which was the only way she knew how to respond.
"What are you doing here," she snarled.
"Just taking a walk on the beach," replied Piccolo casually, "You?"
"Me?" said Sotari, a little taken aback, "Me?"
She turned her back on him again.
"…what about me…?" she said in almost a whisper.
Piccolo stood there.
"Like anyone would care about me…" continued Sotari, not noticing his silence and dropping her hostile attitude, "I'm just a girl living in the world… Alone, but can take of herself after all… Why?"
"No reason," Piccolo lied.
Somehow, Sotari knew that this wasn't the truth. Piccolo knew, too, but neither said anything. Sotari fiddled with her hair, twirling it around her finger.
A girl living in captivity is more like it, thought Piccolo.
Why can't I say anything to him!? cursed Sotari in mental self-anger.
Only the wind responded to their thoughts. Piccolo cleared his throat. Sotari turned around again.
"What?" she asked.
"Er…nothing," said Piccolo, a little shakily, "Just got something stuck in my throat is all."
"Oh."
There was trace of disappointment. That only made Piccolo more uneasy.
~
So. Piccolo-san is here on the same beach on the very same spot as I am. What a coincidence. Does the idiot even realize what I'm feeling right now? Does he even care? I steal a look at him from the corner of my eyes. He looks so handsome in this moonlight, the rays lighting up his most magnificent features. Especially those eyes of his. Those orbs of obsidian that hold more than what they seem to. How can one fear them? They are so beautiful… Almost princely. I almost giggle at the thought. But my heart hardens again. How can someone like me ever love a Namek?
What a fool I am…
I stare out at the sea again, wondering. Could I ever love someone like Piccolo? I smile secretly. Possibly. He was someone I had always wanted to love. He was stubborn, tough,( and yet so gentle), strong in spirit, loyal, not afraid of a good fight, and… I smile again. There was so much I knew about him…and didn't know. We are both hesitant about this love thing, aren't we? At least that's something we had in common. Of course, there was also the loneliness. We both seemed to love---and loathe---this giant black void what people call loneliness. We liked the fact that people feared us. We both love fighting. Maybe not necessarily killing, but only if it had to be done. I myself even hate killing people. Perhaps he feels the same…
But the question remains… Could he ever care for me, much less love me…?
~
BAH! NEVER!!! That isn't any bloody way possible that I could---that she could--- both of us could--- love each other! It wouldn't work out. The fact that we are different has already been stated, so why should I even bother to try? It was a mistake to try and come over here to her. I should've just walked away like I didn't care. That's the truth, isn't it?
Oh damn it all!!! This is so damn CONFUSING!!!!!!
I have half a mind to turn around and fly away, but I can't. It feels like I've been glued to the ground. What's happening to me!? I don't want to stay, but I do. I don't see what the hell's the matter with me. I've never felt this way about any woman before. NEVER. So why should, by any reason, feel it now? It is because of HER!? I feel so childish, standing here and not saying anything. But what should I do? If I walk away now, it'll only hurt both of us. If I stay, we'll…I don't know…
I don't get it…
~
"Em…" began Piccolo again.
Sotari didn't move.
"Er…I'm sorry…" blurted Piccolo quietly.
"HUH!?"
Sotari spun around. She hadn't expected THIS from Piccolo! What was he saying?
"S-sorry about what?" she managed to stammer.
"Um…"
Piccolo felt scarlet-purple flushes rise in his cheeks. If he had ever been more embarrassed, it'd probably be now.
"T-that…" he tried to continue, "You're all alone in the world and that I'm sorry that you are…"
Anger rose in Sotari. She jumped up quickly, her cheeks slightly pink.
"Are you saying that you feel sorry for me!?" she half-yelled and half-screamed at him.
"No!" responded Piccolo hastily, "I'm just saying that if you feel like you need someone when you're lonely, you can always come to me."
His face grew redder. Sotari's face grew less pink, but she was confused.
"N-nani…?"
But then, she saw the funny side of this whole thing and started the only thing she could've done at that moment: Laugh. In fact, she was laughing so hard, that Piccolo just stared at her as if she was crazy.
"What are you laughing at?" he inquired incredulously.
"Oh…oh, gomen nasai, Piccolo-san!" giggled Sotari, holding her stomach, "But…I just want to say thank you for your offer… I'll be glad to remember it the next time."
Piccolo smiled, baring his fangs at her. Sotari stopped laughing and smiled back. It remained that way for a few moments. Suddenly, Sotari walked up to him and, standing on her tiptoes, kissed him lightly on the lips. (The look of surprise in Piccolo's eyes was priceless!) When their lips parted, Piccolo touched his lips with his fingers, trying to comprehend what just happened.
DID SHE JUST KISS ME!?!?
Sotari grinned: "That's two you owe me."
"T-two!?"
His eyes widened so much that you'd think that they'd pop.
"Remember…?" said Sotari playfully, circling her lips with her index finger.
"Uh……Um……… Yeah………God, I nearly fell out of the sky when you did that, impending battle or not…….."
Piccolo blushed again. But that didn't last long as he walked over to Sotari and made a grab for her wrists. Holding her wrists close to his face, he pulled her closer to him. She obliged, but came a lot closer than he expected. He smirked another fanged grin at her as he began kissing her hands.
"You know," he whispered in a low and sexy tone, "I could try again…"