The Best Day of Malcolm Reed's Pathetic Life
By Anna Yolei
I do not own Enterprise, UPN, or Paramount. I do own this fic, and if you are a Reed fan, you won't hate this fic as much as you think.
One morning at 0600 hours, Malcolm Reed woke up. He was half-asleep when he walked into his shower to find T'Pol and Hoshi Sato had beat him to it
And the water was running
And they were both rubbing each other.
"My shower broke," T'Pol informed a goggling Reed.
"Mine too," Hoshi added. "Care to join us?"
"No way!!!" Reed pulled off his shirt and leaped in between them. He enjoyed the two of them rubbing him down, and was almost late for his shift.
When Malcolm did manage to separate himself from the two of them and get to the bridge, Captain Archer was their to greet him.
Archer pats him on the back. "Lt. Reed, I have an assignment for you."
"Ok…"
"See that planet right there, that is completely void of life?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, you can test your new blaster on it."
"Oh, wow! This is even better than that shower I took with T'Pol!" He yelled.
"Hey! What about me?!"
"Um…you were good too, Hoshi."
Reed leapt to his console, set the thing all up and blew the planet into 1582930912487498136 pieces. "That was fun!!"
"Did I mention about the 35 equally void moons this planet has?" Archer added.
Reed was all like, "WOW!!!!!!!!!!" And blew all of them up, which took about 3 hours.
"Ok, take a break," the Captain told him.
Reed goes back to his quarters, and checks his mail.
"Hmm….lots of spam…what's this?"
He opened up a video of one of his old girlfriends, who says she still wants to get with him.
"YIPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He goes back on his shift, then comes back to his quarters again to see T'Pol naked on his bed. Reed's mouth practically falls onto the floor.
"Let's make love you sexy man!!" And with that, T'Pol jumps onto him and Reed has the best sex of his life.
Reed was thinking this was the best day of his life when he hears Tucker say, "Ok, I think we got the last of his molecules!"
"What the hell?!?"
The next thing Reed knows, he's on the transporter pad, facing Tucker and T'Pol.
"Welcome back, Reed!" Tucker says.
Reed, however, was pissed. "Whadda you mean 'welcome back!'?"
"The transporter screwed you up, but you're now fixed," T'Pol told him.
"Damn. Hey, just to make sure everything's working, could I borrow you for a minute, T'Pol?"
"If you are trying to sleep with me, then no."
"Aww.." and Reed slinks out the room. Tucker turns to the petit Vulcan.
"Well, if want me, then-"
"Shut up."
They leave too.
THE END!!!!!!!!!
Well, it had to end somehow!!! All reviews are appreciated, just be sure to leave your name if you didn't sign in. And no, I won't use your name in any future fic:)