Terri Episode 1
Terri: Hi everyone, and thank you all for watching-and coming to-my show! Im Terri Runnels, and today our show topic is I need to know. Our guest is here because she has a three month old child at home but she thinks that her boyfriend might not be the father. Lets welcome Stephanie to our show! Stephanie: *Comes out and sits down* Terri: Hi Stephanie, how are you? Stephanie: *Politely* Fine. Terri: Great! Youre here because you have a three month old child at home, and you think that your boyfriend might not be the father. Well, why do you think this? Stephanie: Well, it was a while ago but... I slept with a few other people and I just dont think that I should raise a child to believe that their father is one person when it could be someone else. Terri: Good reason, well, Im just going to let everyone know a little about the other people that could be the father. The first ones name is Kurt and heres what he had to say before the show; *A video starts that shows Kurt* Kurt: I know that Steph thinks the baby is mine, but Im certain it cant be. As soon as this show is over Im going to get back to my life, but if Steph needs any help with the baby, Ill be there for her even if it isnt mine. *Video Stops* Audience: Awww...... Terri: The second man- Audience: *Gasp* Terri: Heres what the the second man, Jericho, has to say; *Video starts and shows Jericho* Jericho: I know that the baby isnt mine. Stephanie sleeps with everyone, but the baby doesnt look a THING like me! When I was asked to come out here today I only agreed for one reason, to prove that Stephanie is nothing but a filthy disgusting brutal bottom-feeding trash bag ho and that the baby isnt mine. *Video Stops* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Terri: The third man, Test, said the following; *Video of Test starts* Test: Im willing to help Stephanie if I have to, and Im hoping, for the babys sake, that its mine and not one of those other American guys. *Video Stops* Audience: *Boos* Terri: Well bring those men out in a minute, but first, Stephanie, you say that your boyfriend, Hunter, doesnt even know? Stephanie: No, he doesnt. Audience: TERRI TERRI! Terri: Well, were going to bring him out so that you can tell him! Come on out Hunter! Hunter: *Walks out and sits down beside Stephanie* Terri: Well, Stephanie, tell him what you have to. Stephanie: *Turns to him* Hunter... you know I love you.... Hunter: *Nods and looks suspicious* Stephanie: And you know that I want whats best for you, me, and our daughter as a family... Thats why I brought you here to tell you... You might not be the father. Hunter: *Looks really angry* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Terri: But we brought you here today to tell you that weve tested the three other men to see if any of them are the fathers. Then if its none of them, then its over, and nothings wrong! Hunter: I..... am the game-uh... Stephanie: Hunter please dont get mad! Hunter: *Flares his nostrils angrily* Terri: Well, were going to take a quick break and well be back after these commercials.
**Commercials**
Voice: Do you smell what the Rock is cooking? *Shows a girl trying really hard to sniff* Voice: Or is your nose not working? *The girl nods* Voice: Well, look no further for a simple and quick way to get your nose working again! Its Goldusts Breathing Lessons on home video and it can be yours for only $99.89, or three low monthly payments of $99.99! *Shows the girl biting the air like goldust* Voice: Perfect for the occasions when you just have to smell it- *Shows the Rock cooking* Voice: Or a having problems breathing! *Shows Hogan hulking up* Voice: Just call us now for a free 1 week trial and we will send Goldust to your house, along with Minidust! Our number is 1-800-GOL-DUST! Thats 1-800- 465-3878!
**Back to Show**
Terri: Welcome back, before the break Stephanie told her boyfriend, Hunter, that their baby might not actually be his. Now were going to bring out the men that it could be! Come on out, guys! Kurt, Jericho, and Test: *Walk out and sit down* Terri: Hello, welcome to the show. Hunter: *Glares at Kurt and Jericho* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Terri: Stephanie, tell me, which one of these men do you think that your daughter, Jasmine, looks most like? Stephanie: I think she looks like Chris. Jericho: She doesnt look anything like me! No one looks like me, Im one of a kind! Im the ayatolla of rock and rolla! Im a living legend, a HUGE rock star! Im the King.. of the world! Stephanie: Well, at least she only looks like him, but Im hoping that shes Hunters. Jericho: Hey! Why? Stephanie: Because I dont want her to be related to you. Jericho: What about what she wants?! Stephanie: Shes three months, Jericho. Jericho: Who wouldnt want to be related to me, Chris Jericho? Terri: Right. Kurt, you said in your video that you would help Stephanie even if the child wasnt yours... Why was that? Kurt: Well, even if Jasmine isnt mine, Ive already seen her and Im already a part of her life, so whether she is or isnt mine, I want to help Stephanie raise her. Oh, its true... Its damn true. Amanda in Audience: Awwwww.... Terri: Uhm... Ok... And Test, why are you willing to help? Test: Well, a long time ago, I loved Stephanie. And it is possible that Im the father, so why wouldnt I want to help? Anyways, I dont want that cute baby growing up to be American. Stephanie: Test, Im American. Test: Well, anyways, who wouldnt want their baby to be a Testicle? Terri: Alright, well, Stephanie, I just want you to know that theres two guys willing to support you... Or three guys, including Hunter. Hunter: Im the game-uh. If this baby-uh isnt mine-uh, Im leaving Stephanie- uh. Terri: Well in that case, Stephanie, would you still like to hear the results? Stephanie: Yes. Terri: Ok... Ill read them to you after this break.
**Commercials**
Voice: Do you have Horrible Hurting Hemmorroids? *Shows someone crying* Voice: Well, no need to worry because new Preparartion Triple H will help you remove them! *The person smiles, then says,* Ahhh.... Voice: With new Prepartion Triple H, youll be saying ahhh in no time.
**Back to Show**
Terri: Well, I have the results right here in my hands and I have not seen them yet. Stephanie: Well, please hurry. I have a lot to do. Terri: Ok, when it comes to Kurt.... Kurt: *Panics* Terri: You are NOT the father. Kurt: *Sighs with relief* Terri: When it comes to Test... Test: *Smiles(And shows his teeth)* Terri: You are NOT the father. Test: *Gasps* Terri: When it comes to Jericho... Jericho: *Crosses his arms and turns his nose up, self-assuredly* Terri: You ARE the father! Jericho: *Jumps up and points at Stephanie* I TOLD YOU SO, YOU HO! I TOLD- WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! IM THE KING OF THE WORLD, DAMNIT! IM THE AYA- Hunter: *Hits him with a sledge hammer* Jericho: X.X Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Stephanie: *Looks scared* Kurt: Hey, dont hit the babys freakin father! Hunter: I am the game-uh! And the babys father-uh! Kurt: No you arent! Hunter: Yes-uh! Kurt: No! Hunter: Yes-uh! Kurt: No you arent! Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Test: I cant believe this! Hunter: *Hits Test with the sledge hammer* Kurt: Hey! Dont do that! Hunter: *Swings the sledge hammer at Kurt but missies* Kurt: Hey, you cant do that to me! Im an Olympic Gold Medalist! Hunter: *Tries again but misses* Kurt: Dont, or Ill break your freakin ankle! *Release German suplexes Hunter into the audience, then turns to Stephanie* Dont worry, if Jericho wont be the father then I will. Stephanie: I just wanted this to be normal! Kurt: Its going to be ok, Steph! Stephanie: No it wont! *Runs backstage crying* Kurt: *Makes a weird face* Amanda in Audience: TERRI! TER.... Oh, nevermind! *Giggles* Terri: *Follows Stephanie* Stephanie! Whats wrong? You found out who the father is! And you have so much support through this! Itll be fine! Stephanie: I knew it was him! He used to be my friend! Terri: FRIEND?! Do you screw all of your friends or only half of them? Stephanie: *Bitch slaps her and goes back onto stage* Kurt: You dont have to worry now! Im going to be the babys father! Hunter: *Climbs onto the stage and pulls Kurts pants down* Kurt: *Jumps around* Hunter: *Pedigrees him* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Kurt: X.X Test: X.X Jericho: X.X Stephanie: Hunter... Jerichos the father... and well, your going to have to learn how to except that. Hunter: Well-uh.... Ill accept it once my bags are packed-uh. Stephanie: *Cries* I hate you! Audience: TERRI! TERRI! ?????????: Wait! Audience: *Cheers* ?????????: The baby cant be Jerichos because I replaced the DNA with mine! Stephanie: No... it cant be... Terri: *Stares* ?????????: Thats right! Everyone thought I was suspended but the truth is, Im back, and I want my baby! Stephanie: NO! Brock: Why not? Hunter: Because I am the ga- Jericho: *Hits Hunter with a chair* Hunter: X.X Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Jericho: Not so fast! If you replaced my DNA with yours, the baby still isnt yours because right before the show, I replaced what I thought was my DNA with someone elses! I wasnt going to let it be even CLOSE to being my baby! Stephanie: But I didnt sleep with anyone else! ????: If you sa-mellllelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelell.... what the Rock................ is cookin. Stephanie: NO! *Bitch slaps Jericho, then Brock* Rock: Stephanie, when you got some of the Rocks stru- Terri: WAIT!!! This show is live, and theres no way to edit it! Watch what you talk about! Stephanie: I cant believe this! Audience: TERRI! TERRI! J.R.: This is a Slobber Knocker! King: Uh...... *Looks at Stephanies chest* PUPPIES! Tazz: The Rock is a stud. Michael Cole: BULLDOG! Stephanie: Why did it have to be you? Terri: Well, Stephanie, what are you going to do now? Stephanie: Im definately going to accept Test and Kurts offers! Id rather my baby have BOTH of them as fathers than the Rock! Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU WANT! Terri: Uh... actually, when it comes to children, it does matter. Well, this concludes- Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT CONCLUDES! Terri: Our show is- Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT IS! Terri: Well- Stone Cold: What? King: I CANT BELIEVE THIS!! Its the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin! J.R.: This has been one HELL OF A NIGHT! Rock: The Rocks going to follow you home, and hes going to take care of your baby, Stephanie. J.R.: DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM STRAIGHT TO HELL! Tazz: I love Test. Vince McMahon: Wait a second! Stephanie: DADDY! I swear I didnt sleep with any one of these men! Vince: I want to know EXACTLY who the father of my grand-daughter is, and I wont let you end this show until I know. Terri: But were in over time. Vince: Tell me, damn it! Terri: Well, Chris Jericho is what my papers say. But I guess- Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU- Stone Cold: What? Hunter: *Gets up and pedigrees them both* SCSA and Rock: X.X Kurt: *Gets up* Dont worry, Steph! Ill get you out of here and well take your daughter somewhere safe! Hunter: *Pedigrees him* Kurt: X.X Terri: Well, this concludes todays episode of Terri, tune in tomorrow to see What Havent you Been Telling Me? *The screen slowly fades, in the background everyone if fighting*
Terri: Hi everyone, and thank you all for watching-and coming to-my show! Im Terri Runnels, and today our show topic is I need to know. Our guest is here because she has a three month old child at home but she thinks that her boyfriend might not be the father. Lets welcome Stephanie to our show! Stephanie: *Comes out and sits down* Terri: Hi Stephanie, how are you? Stephanie: *Politely* Fine. Terri: Great! Youre here because you have a three month old child at home, and you think that your boyfriend might not be the father. Well, why do you think this? Stephanie: Well, it was a while ago but... I slept with a few other people and I just dont think that I should raise a child to believe that their father is one person when it could be someone else. Terri: Good reason, well, Im just going to let everyone know a little about the other people that could be the father. The first ones name is Kurt and heres what he had to say before the show; *A video starts that shows Kurt* Kurt: I know that Steph thinks the baby is mine, but Im certain it cant be. As soon as this show is over Im going to get back to my life, but if Steph needs any help with the baby, Ill be there for her even if it isnt mine. *Video Stops* Audience: Awww...... Terri: The second man- Audience: *Gasp* Terri: Heres what the the second man, Jericho, has to say; *Video starts and shows Jericho* Jericho: I know that the baby isnt mine. Stephanie sleeps with everyone, but the baby doesnt look a THING like me! When I was asked to come out here today I only agreed for one reason, to prove that Stephanie is nothing but a filthy disgusting brutal bottom-feeding trash bag ho and that the baby isnt mine. *Video Stops* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Terri: The third man, Test, said the following; *Video of Test starts* Test: Im willing to help Stephanie if I have to, and Im hoping, for the babys sake, that its mine and not one of those other American guys. *Video Stops* Audience: *Boos* Terri: Well bring those men out in a minute, but first, Stephanie, you say that your boyfriend, Hunter, doesnt even know? Stephanie: No, he doesnt. Audience: TERRI TERRI! Terri: Well, were going to bring him out so that you can tell him! Come on out Hunter! Hunter: *Walks out and sits down beside Stephanie* Terri: Well, Stephanie, tell him what you have to. Stephanie: *Turns to him* Hunter... you know I love you.... Hunter: *Nods and looks suspicious* Stephanie: And you know that I want whats best for you, me, and our daughter as a family... Thats why I brought you here to tell you... You might not be the father. Hunter: *Looks really angry* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Terri: But we brought you here today to tell you that weve tested the three other men to see if any of them are the fathers. Then if its none of them, then its over, and nothings wrong! Hunter: I..... am the game-uh... Stephanie: Hunter please dont get mad! Hunter: *Flares his nostrils angrily* Terri: Well, were going to take a quick break and well be back after these commercials.
**Commercials**
Voice: Do you smell what the Rock is cooking? *Shows a girl trying really hard to sniff* Voice: Or is your nose not working? *The girl nods* Voice: Well, look no further for a simple and quick way to get your nose working again! Its Goldusts Breathing Lessons on home video and it can be yours for only $99.89, or three low monthly payments of $99.99! *Shows the girl biting the air like goldust* Voice: Perfect for the occasions when you just have to smell it- *Shows the Rock cooking* Voice: Or a having problems breathing! *Shows Hogan hulking up* Voice: Just call us now for a free 1 week trial and we will send Goldust to your house, along with Minidust! Our number is 1-800-GOL-DUST! Thats 1-800- 465-3878!
**Back to Show**
Terri: Welcome back, before the break Stephanie told her boyfriend, Hunter, that their baby might not actually be his. Now were going to bring out the men that it could be! Come on out, guys! Kurt, Jericho, and Test: *Walk out and sit down* Terri: Hello, welcome to the show. Hunter: *Glares at Kurt and Jericho* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Terri: Stephanie, tell me, which one of these men do you think that your daughter, Jasmine, looks most like? Stephanie: I think she looks like Chris. Jericho: She doesnt look anything like me! No one looks like me, Im one of a kind! Im the ayatolla of rock and rolla! Im a living legend, a HUGE rock star! Im the King.. of the world! Stephanie: Well, at least she only looks like him, but Im hoping that shes Hunters. Jericho: Hey! Why? Stephanie: Because I dont want her to be related to you. Jericho: What about what she wants?! Stephanie: Shes three months, Jericho. Jericho: Who wouldnt want to be related to me, Chris Jericho? Terri: Right. Kurt, you said in your video that you would help Stephanie even if the child wasnt yours... Why was that? Kurt: Well, even if Jasmine isnt mine, Ive already seen her and Im already a part of her life, so whether she is or isnt mine, I want to help Stephanie raise her. Oh, its true... Its damn true. Amanda in Audience: Awwwww.... Terri: Uhm... Ok... And Test, why are you willing to help? Test: Well, a long time ago, I loved Stephanie. And it is possible that Im the father, so why wouldnt I want to help? Anyways, I dont want that cute baby growing up to be American. Stephanie: Test, Im American. Test: Well, anyways, who wouldnt want their baby to be a Testicle? Terri: Alright, well, Stephanie, I just want you to know that theres two guys willing to support you... Or three guys, including Hunter. Hunter: Im the game-uh. If this baby-uh isnt mine-uh, Im leaving Stephanie- uh. Terri: Well in that case, Stephanie, would you still like to hear the results? Stephanie: Yes. Terri: Ok... Ill read them to you after this break.
**Commercials**
Voice: Do you have Horrible Hurting Hemmorroids? *Shows someone crying* Voice: Well, no need to worry because new Preparartion Triple H will help you remove them! *The person smiles, then says,* Ahhh.... Voice: With new Prepartion Triple H, youll be saying ahhh in no time.
**Back to Show**
Terri: Well, I have the results right here in my hands and I have not seen them yet. Stephanie: Well, please hurry. I have a lot to do. Terri: Ok, when it comes to Kurt.... Kurt: *Panics* Terri: You are NOT the father. Kurt: *Sighs with relief* Terri: When it comes to Test... Test: *Smiles(And shows his teeth)* Terri: You are NOT the father. Test: *Gasps* Terri: When it comes to Jericho... Jericho: *Crosses his arms and turns his nose up, self-assuredly* Terri: You ARE the father! Jericho: *Jumps up and points at Stephanie* I TOLD YOU SO, YOU HO! I TOLD- WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! IM THE KING OF THE WORLD, DAMNIT! IM THE AYA- Hunter: *Hits him with a sledge hammer* Jericho: X.X Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Stephanie: *Looks scared* Kurt: Hey, dont hit the babys freakin father! Hunter: I am the game-uh! And the babys father-uh! Kurt: No you arent! Hunter: Yes-uh! Kurt: No! Hunter: Yes-uh! Kurt: No you arent! Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Test: I cant believe this! Hunter: *Hits Test with the sledge hammer* Kurt: Hey! Dont do that! Hunter: *Swings the sledge hammer at Kurt but missies* Kurt: Hey, you cant do that to me! Im an Olympic Gold Medalist! Hunter: *Tries again but misses* Kurt: Dont, or Ill break your freakin ankle! *Release German suplexes Hunter into the audience, then turns to Stephanie* Dont worry, if Jericho wont be the father then I will. Stephanie: I just wanted this to be normal! Kurt: Its going to be ok, Steph! Stephanie: No it wont! *Runs backstage crying* Kurt: *Makes a weird face* Amanda in Audience: TERRI! TER.... Oh, nevermind! *Giggles* Terri: *Follows Stephanie* Stephanie! Whats wrong? You found out who the father is! And you have so much support through this! Itll be fine! Stephanie: I knew it was him! He used to be my friend! Terri: FRIEND?! Do you screw all of your friends or only half of them? Stephanie: *Bitch slaps her and goes back onto stage* Kurt: You dont have to worry now! Im going to be the babys father! Hunter: *Climbs onto the stage and pulls Kurts pants down* Kurt: *Jumps around* Hunter: *Pedigrees him* Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Kurt: X.X Test: X.X Jericho: X.X Stephanie: Hunter... Jerichos the father... and well, your going to have to learn how to except that. Hunter: Well-uh.... Ill accept it once my bags are packed-uh. Stephanie: *Cries* I hate you! Audience: TERRI! TERRI! ?????????: Wait! Audience: *Cheers* ?????????: The baby cant be Jerichos because I replaced the DNA with mine! Stephanie: No... it cant be... Terri: *Stares* ?????????: Thats right! Everyone thought I was suspended but the truth is, Im back, and I want my baby! Stephanie: NO! Brock: Why not? Hunter: Because I am the ga- Jericho: *Hits Hunter with a chair* Hunter: X.X Audience: TERRI! TERRI! Jericho: Not so fast! If you replaced my DNA with yours, the baby still isnt yours because right before the show, I replaced what I thought was my DNA with someone elses! I wasnt going to let it be even CLOSE to being my baby! Stephanie: But I didnt sleep with anyone else! ????: If you sa-mellllelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelell.... what the Rock................ is cookin. Stephanie: NO! *Bitch slaps Jericho, then Brock* Rock: Stephanie, when you got some of the Rocks stru- Terri: WAIT!!! This show is live, and theres no way to edit it! Watch what you talk about! Stephanie: I cant believe this! Audience: TERRI! TERRI! J.R.: This is a Slobber Knocker! King: Uh...... *Looks at Stephanies chest* PUPPIES! Tazz: The Rock is a stud. Michael Cole: BULLDOG! Stephanie: Why did it have to be you? Terri: Well, Stephanie, what are you going to do now? Stephanie: Im definately going to accept Test and Kurts offers! Id rather my baby have BOTH of them as fathers than the Rock! Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU WANT! Terri: Uh... actually, when it comes to children, it does matter. Well, this concludes- Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT CONCLUDES! Terri: Our show is- Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT IT IS! Terri: Well- Stone Cold: What? King: I CANT BELIEVE THIS!! Its the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin! J.R.: This has been one HELL OF A NIGHT! Rock: The Rocks going to follow you home, and hes going to take care of your baby, Stephanie. J.R.: DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM STRAIGHT TO HELL! Tazz: I love Test. Vince McMahon: Wait a second! Stephanie: DADDY! I swear I didnt sleep with any one of these men! Vince: I want to know EXACTLY who the father of my grand-daughter is, and I wont let you end this show until I know. Terri: But were in over time. Vince: Tell me, damn it! Terri: Well, Chris Jericho is what my papers say. But I guess- Rock: IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU- Stone Cold: What? Hunter: *Gets up and pedigrees them both* SCSA and Rock: X.X Kurt: *Gets up* Dont worry, Steph! Ill get you out of here and well take your daughter somewhere safe! Hunter: *Pedigrees him* Kurt: X.X Terri: Well, this concludes todays episode of Terri, tune in tomorrow to see What Havent you Been Telling Me? *The screen slowly fades, in the background everyone if fighting*