A bird fluttered outside the window, momentarily distracting him. His hands didn't falter though; Kaiba had always prided himself in being the kind of person who never forgot anything. His mind, however, didn't return to the music right away. The window had sparked another memory, or maybe two.

He died by the window much the same way one might die by the sword, as queer as it sounds. People say I murdered him, those that know anything about what happened. Nobody really knows much, though…not Mokuba, not even me. It all happened so fast. It wasn't me directly; I didn't shove him from the windowsill. Maybe I'd better explain. He had always said the life should be lived from the top, and that all who cannot be the best do not deserve to live. I wondered at that sometimes. I knew from watching Mokuba play with blocks that if everything goes on top and nothing goes on the bottom, the structure falls down.

I didn't say that to Gozaburo, though. I guess that was the reason he worked me so hard: he wanted me to do well. I think it ironic that he seemed to want the best for me, and I despised him because of it. Well, I learned perhaps better than he had expected, and by the time I was thirteen, I had at least matched his level. Sometimes I wondered why he still bothered to send me to school. It was all lessons I had learned years ago. With no other choice to view it all as a game or else succumb to stressed insanity, I proceeded to play my very best. The ultimate feeling of victory came the day I claimed Kaiba Corp as my own. My pride swelled, watching the shock in Gozaburo's eyes as every single executive present rose and stood beside me, leaving him alone at his end of the table. For a moment, he stared in shock, and then he laughed out loud. He admitted defeat, and one last time repeated his belief that the losers should not live.

Then he promptly turned about and threw himself through the window.

I had left that memory behind a long time ago, but something peculiar brought it back a year or so ago. It was when Pegasus was trying to take my hard-won company. As if he knew what I paid for it. I believe he thought he could eliminate me and take power effortlessly. Anyway, the guards burst into the room, both armed with guns. I, on the other hand, found myself with a briefcase, a screwdriver, and a rolling desk chair. Don't laugh. These things happen. I knew right away that I wouldn't make it out the door, and that they probably had others waiting outside if I did. So I used what I had, as I'd been trained to do. I kicked the chair at the mindless thugs before me. One of them had sense enough to fire off a shot, but my briefcase blocked that well enough. Before they had time to recover, I jumped onto the desk…and then through the window. Time seemed to slow as I fell. I saw the water and rocks far below and wondered if I was following in Gozaburo's footsteps. Was I defeated and now giving up my life because of it? Time snapped back into reality as I snagged the ledge with one hand. Let Pegasus think that way, I would show him…even break into my own house if I had to.

His fingers began a slow, mournful tune by Khachaturian. It had always reminded him of someone walking softly, though the title was "Ivan Sings." He had liked that song because sometimes it made the lady guests cry, especially if he had been playing a similar song before it. It was too short to do much on it's own, but sometimes if done just right, it would bring tears. He had liked that mostly because it gave him a sense of power. Gozaburo made him cry if anybody ever did, and he didn't like it when Mokuba cried, but here was a means and successful results for him to conjure up weeping when he liked. He had always despised those who succumbed, though, viewing them as too weak to withstand him. They were, he decided, the kind of people Gozaburo had said should die.

The notes echoed slowly and rhythmically through the song. Suddenly, an image and then a series of images flashed through his mind, replaying themselves from a corner of memories once forgotten.

It was a peculiar dream a few weeks ago. Yes, I dream too; I'm only human…no matter how many times I try to pretend I'm not. I dreamt I was walking down a long hallway. It was dark, but not the sort of gloomy gray dark that was in Pegasus's dungeons. It was more of a warm brownish darkness. There were small points of light every now and then on the hall. They weren't really lamps, but they definitely weren't holes in the wall for sunlight to shine through. I wandered, rather lost, but without the queer panicky feeling that comes with being lost. I just didn't know where I was or where I was going. I didn't have my deck or a dueling disk with me, though. That was what really made me feel uncomfortable. I never went anywhere without at least my deck if I could help it. I kept walking because there was nothing else to do; no place to sit or lie down, just hallway.

After a while, I noticed that there were doors every now and then on either side of me. For some reason, I felt no inclination to try them, and I passed every single one by. That was until I heard another sound, very different from my echoing footsteps. At first I wasn't sure what it was. Then, as I kept on walking, I realized it was crying. Whoever it was certainly tried to hide it, for they weren't the loud wails of those paid mourners you read about sometimes. I didn't change my pace, but I did start looking around for the source of the sound.

Towards the end of the hall (yes, even I was surprised it had an end), there was a single open door from which light shone. I stopped to look in and investigate. It was small, and almost completely empty-in fact I thought it was at first. Then I spotted something in the corner. It was a person, a child to be more specific. He was curled up, weeping, hiding his face. Intrigued, I stepped closer and knelt before him. "What's wrong?" I inquired.

His shoulders trembled again, and he did not raise his head.

"Why are you here?" I tried, putting a hand on his arm. He recoiled as if I had bitten him, suddenly raising his head to face me.

I believe my eyes grew as wide as his. I knew that face; it was mine. We stared at each other for a while, and he slowly tried to back away. "You…you…" he kept saying. I didn't understand.

"What is it?"

"You were the one who almost abandoned Mokuba at Duelist Kingdom…"

"What?"

"I helped you out of the dungeons, but still you forgot!"

"Forgot what? What are you talking about??"

He put his hand over my heart. "Is there anything you hold dear there anymore? Don't you care about anything?"

"Mokuba…" I murmured.

He was angry now. "Do you really? Or is he slipping from you? You've spent too much time with imitations of life to know the real feelings of it. How many times have you rejected the heart of living?"

I fell back a step. "I don't understand…"

He looked so sad I thought he was going to cry again. "Remember what it was like when we were one. Remember your feelings; that's where you'll find the answer."

"On my own??"
"Oh yes. Seto Kaiba never needs help from anyone." The hurt in his eyes gave the sarcasm extra bite.

I flinched.

"Fine. Look to the cheerful ones if you must… Mokuba, Yuugi, Jounouchi…" He started to become transparent. "Maybe you'll…remember…someday…" He was gone.

Then I woke up.

Seto brought his hands crashing down on the piano keys with a bang. He had cursed that dream with all his heart when he realized what it meant. He had tried to dismiss it as "only a fleeting dream," but it hadn't worked. The child's face haunted his waking and sleeping hours perpetually. Taking a deep breath, he started a slow, orderly song: "Prelude" from the Well-Tempered Clavier. It was strange how illusions could change reality.

I finally realized that I'd have to give in to the dream or go mad. I couldn't wipe it from my memory, and always the boy's voice rang in my mind. So finally I decided to try something. At lunch, I walked over to Yuugi's gang. "Mind if I join you?" I asked.

Every single mouth dropped open (which wasn't a pretty sight considering how Honda and the puppy dog eat.) "S…sure," Yuugi managed to stammer out. Anzu was still choking on her noodles. So I ate lunch with them. I didn't say much, just sort of sat in and listened to the things they talked about. What got me the most was how much they laughed. I guess I'm kind of their opposite, considering my past is gilt with tears and pain. But they'd laugh or smile at anything. The guys would tell outrageous stories or do impressions of the teachers, or they'd go over some long-past duel when Jounouchi had still been learning. Honda even brought up one of Anzu's attempts at dancing. She turned bright red, but she obviously found it humorous too. I was completely blown away. Sure, I'd smile or maybe even laugh in triumph (and not a little evilly) towards the end of a duel, but I'd never smiled nicely since the orphanage…well, maybe once, when I saw Mokuba after Pegasus's defeat. But these people were so genuinely happy it was completely beyond me.

Another thing was how at ease they were. I'd never realized it before, but I'm really paranoid. Sure, they don't have a coveted multi-billion dollar corporation to hold onto and run, but something about how they interacted told me that even if they did, they wouldn't be all that different. (I shudder now to think of my beloved company in the hands of the puppy dog…) They weren't always looking over their shoulders to make sure nobody would stab them in the back. They weren't afraid to be friendly, to care about others, to express themselves. It's weird. In addition, the strangest thing happened today at lunch. The puppy dog was imitating my reaction when Exodia destroyed my Blue Eyes White Dragons.

And, watching him, I smiled.

R&R