"Sabe, time to wake up sweetie" speaks a sugary voice.
"Few more minutes Mom, just few more, few minutes…" I say lazily hugging my pillow.
"Sabe, honey, I know about what happened behind that tree with Dobbie Zerkison and I thought we should talk about—"
"WHAT?" I yell shooting up from my couch. I hardly have time to react before I'm banging heads with my unexpecting victim.
"RABE!" I yell at the brunette now giggling uncontrollably on the floor.
"Ouch that hurt Sab," she gasps through her laughter.
"Oh shut up," I snap back while trying to hide my almost uncontrollable smile.
"What kind of name is Dobbie Zerkison anyway? You northerners and your weird, unrefined names," she teases.
"Oh excuse me Miss Perfect, and it was only his name that was odd. Everything else, and I mean everything, was just fine," I reply with a wicked grin.
"Well, at least I have you smiling, good way to start off today if you ask me." She says with sincerity.
"You heard, huh?" I ask. She nods her head and looks at me with sympathy. "You should have seen the look on his face when I walked in. He looked so terrified to see me. He wasn't happy, wasn't excited, wasn't even indifferent. He was terrified. You know, when I saw him half naked, I honestly thought he might be trying to surprise me. But that look of pure and utter fright made me want to curl up and die," I stop when I begin feeling a stinging in my eyes.
"Oh Sabe, go ahead, it feels good to cry. Look at me, I cry all the time, remember when that little, furry, Yppup, got lost in that holo? Gets me every time," she says and I begin to see tears welling up in her eyes even as she laughs at herself.
"Rabe, they found her in the end, remember?" I remind her between my own sobs.
"I know, I know, but that poor little thing, all alone, without it's mom because they kill her in the first scene—" she breaks off and we both look at each other realizing the hilarity of the situation. We're both crying on the ground between bouts of laughter, all of the emotions mixing into one.
"I love you Rab, you're my best friend in the entire galaxy," I tell her while wiping my eyes.
"Oh Sab I love you too!" she tells me as she hugs me. "Don't worry, we're going to get you over that loser and we're going to find that chick and beat her up and we're going to buy lots and lots of chocolate and we're going to eat ALL of it." She declares before standing up.
"All in one day?" I ask enjoying this thoouroughly.
Rabe replies with a smile, "Well at least the chocolate part. Now go, get dressed, I'll go burn your sheets…
"I would have kicked her slutty butt right then and there," Rabe says in a mocking tone.
"I totally should have, ugh and she was blonde too," I say disgustedly.
"That's right, Sabe we all know it's your job to PROVE that blondes do NOT have more fun!" Rabe yells rather loudly. A few brunettes turn our way and smile. I pull Rabe by the arm rather roughly. "What?" she asks innocently.
"First," I begin after lowering my voice, "my name is not Sabe, well it is, but not out here, got it?" she claps her hand over her mouth and nods profusely, "Good. Second, Rabe do you have any idea how embarrassing you are?" I add laughing at her.
"Hey that's Miss Alane Jonaka to you missy!" She whispers back.
"Oh you're good, real good," I joke. We turn a corner and head for the park where we'll eat our chocolate. An undercover guard is walking out of a store and we wave to him recognizing him as one of Panaka's first officers. I think he plays a mechanic outside the palace, but I know him as the best shot in the competition last year, excluding me of course. I tense up as I remember something that I haven't revealed to the Rabster yet.
"Um Alane, I have to tell you something else about what happened with Geranto," I say nervously.
"Shoot," she says not looking up.
"Yeah well it kind of has something to do with that whole shoot comment actually," I reply trying to delay.
"Um, yes you make no sense," she says looking at me strangely. "Come on tell Auntie Alane," she jokes.
"Ok, well um, at first I thought it was a robber in the aparment so I was on my guard and when I went back there I automatically took something else with me. Then I broke down the door with a Jamuzzi Switchkick and got into a defensive position like the one I taught you the other day and then…Rab, he saw my blaster," I say speaking faster than I thought possible.
"He did, die he?" she says without expression.
"Well see, I really thought I was in danger and I took my blaster with me without even thinking about it and he was shocked. But then he wouldn't leave so I pointed it at his thingy and said that if he didn't leave soon I would make sure that it wouldn't be there much longer and then he got scared and that's when he left. He even said 'Who are you?' while running down the hall and my cover is totally blown. " I let out without taking a breath.
Rabe sat there for a bit. We'd reached the park and were sitting next to the tiny, but clear creek that looked beautifully out of place next to perfectly trimmed grass. I could tell she was deep in thought by the way she was absent mindedly playing with a loose string on her skirt. This was a bad situation. If it was ever leaked to the public that nearly a fifth of their population were undercover guards, well, Naboo wouldn't trust it's government any more.
After being silent for about a minute Rabe finally looks up at me and says with an air of complete honesty,"You should have shot it off."
I sit there staring at her as a gigantic smile forms on her face.
"I would have," she adds matter of factly.
"I can't believe you aren't yelling at me, or lecturing me or freaking out about what to do next. What's wrong with you? Is it the chocolate? No more chocolate for you!" I say grabbing the bag out of her hand.
"Well I suppose it could be a big deal, a gigantic deal really, one of mammoth proportions that could change everything. Maybe you really screwed up and should be taken away or kicked out and sent off to Tatooine where you'll be put into a metal bikini and forced to serve your master in more ways than you can imagine. Dr. Humperlot would be preferable if you know what I mean. And maybe you'll live this way until by some off chance a gorgeous Jedi arrives and saves you. Maybe he'll free you from captivity and you'll reward him with a night of heated passion before being sent back here. Of course then it would be very lonely because I won't be here anymore. I will have married a gorgeous pilot and will be living in the manner in which I plan on becoming accustomed to on Coruscant. You'll be considered an old maid at this point and you'll end up living out your days as a very old salesgirl." She says with complete sincerity.
"Oh my god, my life is over," I say groaning at her story and lying back onto the grass in defeat. .
"Well, maybe. Or, I might know something that you don't," she says with a mischevious twinkle in her eye.
"What?" I ask looking up and shielding my eyes from the sun.
"You haven't checked your mail today have you?" she continues.
"I hate it when you draw things out, just tell me." I say with my eyes closed enjoying my sunbathing.
"Oh you are no fun! Ok, well, this morning I got a notice to be on the look out for a certain skanky ho known as Geranto." She finally reveals. "That rhymed, I own the universe!"
"What?" I say dumbfounded.
"Ok, they didn't call him a skanky ho in the actual memo but they did say that he's been doing some bad things behind everyone's back, not just yours. Basically they think that he's been involved in several attempted robberies down by the palace. It's very scandalous actually. We're supposed to be looking for him right now. Anyway, my point is that your life could be over, or we could arrest this son of a bitch and you'll be out of trouble." She reasons.
"What an idiot! Like we can't catch him. Like everything in the palace isn't guarded by a million droids.