Welcome back all you freaks out there. As you may now have noticed, Bulma and Vegeta had became an item early on in the first story. Now, I proudly present the second installment of *Just A Messed Up V/B Story*
*Disclaimer: I still don't own DB/Z/GT. As of now, I'm jobless. I need to get off my lazy bum and get a job. Hmmm, I wonder if Playboy is hiring...*
*Shout Outs: Thanks for everyone who reviewed. You guys are the best man *sniff* I love you guys...*
*Quick Note: Gotta clear some things up real fast.
Number 1) Bulma don't want no kids. At least, not yet. She's sort of afraid ChiChi will try to take them away from her.
Number 2)Vegeta does want kids. He tries to ditch the protection, in hopes of getting her pregnant. Number 3)Dr. Briefs is a raging alcoholic. but tries to keep it a minimum when his wife is around. Number 4)Bulma's moms name is going to be...Sugar. Hehe, after my favorite food group. And she really wants Vegeta...If you know what I mean...
Number 5) More Teletubbies...watch out Vegeta.
Number 6)They live a place with monsoon seasons (just like Arizona, but it's not). I thought it would kind of cool. I lived in Arizona with some friends I met a few summers back. I like the season, only I hated getting stuck outside in the middle of the night.
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Part 2: Can You Feel The Love Tonight? I'm Serious...Can You Feel It?
(sorry...no Teletubbies will making an appearance in this chapter)
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Many months have passed and still, Bulma and Vegeta go at it every night....
'Vegeta you fuckin' lowlife! Did you forget to wear a condom again?' Bulma's voice echoed throughout Capsule Corp. 'That's the third time you shit head! I already told you, I don't want any kids! Not yet anyways!!!' 'Calm down woman. I thought you liked it natural.' Vegeta smirked as he dressed. Already, he had gone without covering his *lil buddy* twice, third times a charm. Bulma gave him the death glare and threw an ashtray at his head, which he caught. 'Well duh!.' she began, 'Who wouldn't?' Vegeta shook his head and placed the ashtray on the table beside him. Then he turned toward Bulma. 'If you don't want any kids, than stop seducing me. And also, the condom dispenser broke. I tried to get one, but it wouldn't take my fifty cents. I think we need to buy a new one.' Bulma looked at him with a open mouth. Since when did he care what was bought around in this house? Then, she frowned. 'Vegeta...it worked just fine the other night. Come to think of it, it worked fine all those other nights too. Are you messing with it?' Bulma asked. Vegeta turned around and looked at Bulma. Her eyes burned with hatred. Smiling, the prince shook his head. 'Now why would I go and do something like that, dearest?' he said as he winked at her. Then laughing, walked out of the room. 'VEGETA!!! If I end up pregnant, I'm taking you to court and suing your pansy ass!!!' That was how is was in the house. From the time they got together, both were at each others throats more than ever. Bulma sat on her bed, sneering and ripping the stuffing out of her teddy bear. 'If I end up pregnant, Mr. I'm-too-Damn-Macho-For-My-Own-Good, is sleeping outside in the rain. Let's see how he feels when the first monsoon season hits this year. I hope he drowns, that dirty monkey!'
Bulma was angry. And anger mixed with Bulma was not a good sign. Looking down, she noticed that the bear was now nothing more than a rag now, stuffing thrown everywhere. Sighing, the blue haired woman began to pick up the stuffing.
Meanwhile....
'Vegeta, did you forget to wear another one? You know how touchy Bulma is about having kids. I hope for your sake, nothing happens.' Dr. Briefs had gone into the kitchen to get himself a beer, when he noticed Vegeta sitting at the table. The saiyan had six bottles of Bud sitting all in a row, while he worked on his seventh. 'Hey Doc. What' up?' Vegeta said, his speech slightly beginning to slur. 'Vegeta, are you ready to take full responsibility if Bulma does end up pregnant? I don't want you running out on my daughter after you knock her up.' 'Of course old man. What? You think I'm going to leave her? I ain't that low...even as a saiyan, I would never do that.' Dr. Briefs smile a little and took a drink from his own bottle. 'I guess right you're Vegeta. You don't really seem the type to do that. Sorry for bringing it up.' Vegeta nodded his head and held up his bottle. 'Hey Briefs, wanna play a game? It's called Red, Black, High or Low.' Vegeta asked. Dr. Briefs smile and nodded. 'Sure, let me get the cards.'
3 hours and 10 cases later...
'So tell me again why everyone in your family is named after underwear?' 'Everyone but my wife. I'm trying to get her to change her name to Lingerie, but she just won't listen.' 'I know how it is man. I wanted to be named Velveeta, but my dad said we should keep it in the family. You know how hard it is to be named after a damn planet and your father? Every time someone yelled out something like 'They're attacking Vegeta' I would have to hide in hopes of not getting killed. Then, if someone came in trying to offer a peace treaty, and I signed it...my father would beat the snot out of me, just because he thought I forged his name.' 'Sounds like you had some problems back then. So, you ready for round eight?' 'Bring it on.'
The game went on for hours. Finally, Dr. Briefs had to stop because he was just too damn plastered. As the old man tried to stand, he felt himself falling backwards. To his relief, his wife came in at that moment and caught him. 'Sweetie, are you drunk again?' the blonde haired woman said in her annoying high pitched voice. 'No Sugar...I ain't drunk. Just a little tipsy, that's all.' the doctor laughed stupidly. Sugar looked at her husband and frowned. Then she noticed Vegeta. Shaking her head in pity, Sugar let go of her husband and as both Sugar and Vegeta watched, the old man fell to the floor, out cold. 'Hey Vegeta, I have a question I want to ask you.' Sugar batted her eyelashes. Vegeta looked at her and frowned. 'Shit! What the fuck does she want?' he thought to himself. Sugar walked over to the saiyan and sat on his lap. 'I was wondering you great big stud of a saiyan, if you could show me all the things you did with my daughter. I wanted to be taught the way of the Karma Sutra, if you know what I mean.' the woman said. If Vegeta was drunk, all it left in that moment. Staring wide eyed at Sugar, the saiyan gagged. 'What it is? Don't you want to? I could teach you Human Anatomy in return.' Taking off her clothes, the old woman put her arms around Vegeta's neck. 'So what do you say? I'm willing and ready. Look see, my love box is ready to go' Vegeta stared wide eyed at the naked woman in front of him. Growling low, he stood up, making the blonde fall to the floor. 'Vegeta, what's wrong? Ain't I good enough?' she asked. 'Woman, I wouldn't touch you even if I was offered a chance to go back to my planet! Who knows how many years it's been since that thing was last used. Besides, I might get lost in all the cobwebs. If you need to get fucked, I advise you to take advantage of your husband who's laying on the floor there, out cold. Anyways, I think it would be the only time your funky human ass will ever get a good lay. I'm willing to bet he doesn't even touch you. You should really think about calling Pest Control so you can get rid of all those starving spiders in that rat trap you call your "love box". Come to think of it, I think Orkin does free inspections. I'll go call for you.' Vegeta walked out of the kitchen, leaving a very sad Sugar behind. But, the horny old woman wasn't sad for long. 'Oh Yes! Give it to me you great big hunk of man meat!!!' Vegeta grimaced and kept walking out. 'I'm going to have horrifying nightmares for the rest of my miserable life.' he said as he shuddered. Then looking up, added. 'Please Kami, for all that is good and just in this world! Kill me now!!'
****
Change of scenery...At the hospital...
Bulma paced back and forth. She had come to the hospital in hopes of finding out if she was pregnant or not. `That man better pray and hope to Kami that I'm not pregnant. Because if he is, I'll kill him! I wager my .45 Caliber Shotgun will do more damage than his stupid ass Big Bang Attack. Big Bang my ass! That little fucker will be dead before Goku has a chance to say KameHameHa!!!' Bulma paced and paced. Finally, a nurse stuck her head out from the doctor's office and smiled. 'Miss Briefs, the doctor will see you now.' she said in a friendly manner. 'What does she have to be so happy about? I'd like to rip that smile off her face.' the blue haired woman frowned. Inside the room, Bulma sat on the bed, waiting for her family doctor to come in. About three minutes passed and she saw him. 'Ahh, Miss Briefs. Hello again. How are you?' he asked. 'I'm fine...but really doc. I ain't got all day, so let's hear it.' Bulma said hastily. 'Well...the tests are negative. So, you're not pregnant.' Bulma could have jumped for joy. 'That's great!! Now I won't have to murder my sex partner and become a homicidal maniac and get on America's Most Wanted.' 'Miss Briefs...I don't know how to tell you this, but umm, we need another sample. The lab techs spilt the last one. We really aren't sure if you are. I just want to run one more test...just to make sure.' Bulma looked up and frowned. 'You're not sure? But I thought you said I wasn't.' 'Yes, I know...but that was just an educated guess. But this time, we'll know for sure.' 'Fine...whatever...' Bulma sighed and went into the attached bathroom to do her thing. After a few minutes, she came out. 'Here and this time, tell me the truth and not some "educated" guess.' 'Yes ma'am .' As the doctor left, Bulma's face began to twist from sheer anger. 'That test better come back negative or else, I'm killing that fucker for sure.'
Several minutes pass...
'Miss Briefs, I have the results.' 'Well, spit it out doc! I don't have all day. I need to get over to Curves for my daily workout. Then I have to go Jo-Jo's Bath and Beauty Supplies for my age defying cream. So spit it out already.' 'You are...you're going to have a baby. Congratulations.' Bulma went wide eyed and looked at the doctor. Smiling in a weird twisted way, she nodded and walked out of the room. 'Miss Briefs...are you okay?' the doctor asked. Bulma turned and looked at him with the twisted smile. 'Yes doctor I'm fine. I just need to go kill someone now. I'll write you from the Women's Correctional Center...if I can.' 'That poor deranged woman. I almost feel sorry for her. Damn it, I never got to tell if those breasts of hers' were real or fake. Shit!'
****
Bulma walked into Capsule Corp with a smile. Finding out she was pregnant had given her an excuse to go homicidal on Vegeta. First, she would kill him. Then she would bury the body in the back yard. If no one saw her do it, then she wouldn't have to worry about getting caught. Going into her room, Bulma grabbed her shotgun and headed down the hall to Vegeta's room. Smiling, she placed the gun next to her and knocked on his door. 'What do you want?' a very angry voice came through the door. 'It's me...your woman. Open the fuckin' door you midget! I have something I need to settle with you!' Vegeta looked at the door and frowned. 'Great.' he thought, 'She's pregnant. I can tell by the tone of her voice. This is not going to go easy. Maybe I should put on that bullet proof vest her dad gave me.' 'Vegeta open the door right now you piece of shit before I knock it down!' 'The door is unlocked! Open it yourself bitch!' Bulma stared wide eyed at the door. Had he just called her a bitch? That was it. Opening the door, Bulma aimed the shotgun at Vegeta and pulled the trigger. Of course, she missed. She fired three more times, but missed those too. Finally, she just gave up. Throwing the gun down, Bulma walked over to Vegeta. 'So, how did it go? Are you preggo's or not?' Vegeta asked. Instead of answering him right away, Bulma looked at him evilly. 'What do you think? Get your shit, you're sleeping outside tonight!' she yelled.
'You're fuckin' crazy! There's no way in hell I'm sleeping outside in this weather! If you haven't already noticed woman, it's pouring the rain out there! You sleep outside!' Vegeta yelled back. Bulma looked at him and smiled. 'Alright then chicken shit, go to Goku's house then.' she said. Vegeta frowned and shook his head. Growling, he shook his fist at Bulma. 'Damn it woman! I'm not going to Kakarott's house to sleep! His bitch of a wife is still there. You know how hard it is to get her to shut up when something of the wrong nature is said? I wish I could just kill her bitch ass and get it over with. I'm sure Kakarott will welcome the sudden change.' 'Vegeta, Goku will kill you if you lay a hand on ChiChi. You have no idea how much he adores her. It's pretty sickening if you ask me.' 'Then I'll stay here. Being pregnant can't be all that bad. Besides, if something happens, I'll just blast the kid out of you. Of course, it might kill you too, but I'm willing to take that chance.' Vegeta smirked and walked over to his bed. Looking back he saw Bulma gasp and frown. 'You don't care about me or what happens to this baby! I hope you die and rot in hell you fuckin' dirt bag!!' the blue haired woman screamed. Then as fast as she could, she ran out of the room. 'I guess I ain't getting any tonight. Damn it!' Vegeta huffed as he laid down on his bed.
Downstairs a very distraught Bulma sat on the couch, watching television. 'How could he say such a thing?' she thought. 'Doesn't he understand that this is a difficult time for me? True, I did threaten to kill him, but I told him time and time again, don't get me pregnant! But did he listen? Nooo! He goes ahead and does it anyways. I bet he was planning it from the beginning. Well, I hope he likes the gift I'm giving him. No mother fucker knocks me up and gets away with it. By this time tomorrow, he's going to be wishing he never heard the name Bulma Briefs. I hope he enjoys being a family man cause that little troll is going to fuckin marry me! Even if I have to roll his sorry behind down the aisle in a wheelchair after I lay the smack down on his ass! Vegeta, I hope you're ready, cause you just got yourself in a shit load of trouble!'
Meanwhile....
Vegeta lay on his bed, thinking about what Bulma had said. What did she mean by not caring for her and the baby? The damn thing wasn't even born yet so how could he care for it? Rolling over, the prince sighed and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. But sleep didn't come for the mighty warrior. Instead, he just tossed and turned. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Vegeta sat up. Looking at the small clock beside his bed, Vegeta started to get angry. '6:15 pm. What the fuck?!' Vegeta shouted. 'Damn it! I've already spent half the day not training! All because that woman and her damn mouth...and making me feel guilty. Maybe I should use her as a punching bag. I know she wouldn't like it but it would make me feel a hell of a lot better! I wonder where she is?' Walking downstairs, Vegeta was greeted at the foot of the steps by Sugar. She had big rosy cheeks and way too much lipstick on. Reeling back in terror, Vegeta gagged. Then he began to laugh. 'What the fuck is wrong with your face?' he laughed. 'It's makeup Vegeta dear. Don't I look absolutely, positively , gee golly gosh cute? Oh and by the way, I overheard Bulma talking to herself a little bit ago. She was saying something like "I'm going to make him pay..." or something like that. My Vegeta...can't you just feel the love?!' Sugar babbled on. 'Oh and by the way, I called Orkin like you said. The man came out did his inspection. He said he would have to come in again next week and spray. Thank you so much for mentioning Orkin to me. Without your help, I would have never guessed we had termites in our basement. You're such a sweet and generous man.' Vegeta cocked his head and looked at Sugar as if to say "Stupid Bitch". Was she really that dense to think he meant calling Orkin for an inspection on the house when he meant for her to get one herself? What was up with this family? The father was a raging alcoholic. The daughter always had PMS. And the mother was just a complete sleaze. So why did he enjoy staying here? Vegeta thought for a moment and smirked. 'Of course...the sex.' he thought. 'Vegeta...are you listening? I wanted to tell you about this cute little puppy I saw at the pet shop. It was so cute! I took one look at the little darling and decided to name it Vegeta Jr. He is so sweet. I'm thinking of buying him. What do you think?' Sugar asked while batting her eyes at Vegeta. Vegeta groaned and looked at Sugar angrily. 'She named a fuckin' dog after me? What a bitch!' he thought. 'Vegeta? Are you listening?' 'Yes you annoying wench! As for my opinion...do as you wish. Just change the beast's name to something else. I am not having a flea bitten mongrel with my name. It's too important to let just anyone have it...especially a fuckin' dog!' Sugar smiled and turned to go into the kitchen. She acted as though Vegeta hadn't even said those words. 'Vegeta is such a kind and generous young man. Perhaps I should divorce my husband and marry him instead. I wonder what the sex would be like?' Sugar walked into the kitchen, saying these things, while a very disgusted Vegeta stood at the top of the steps. 'If I ever marry that ugly skank, I'll have Kakarott personally kill me for ever agreeing to such a hideous union.' Vegeta thought as he walked the rest of the way down. 'Vegeta dear, could you come in here for a moment? Bulma is in here. I think she wants to talk to you.' Sugar yelled from the kitchen. Vegeta frowned and shook his head. 'What does she want now?' he asked himself. Then sighing, the prince walked into the kitchen.
End of chapter 2...
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*sorry so short. Really I am, I have a bad case of writers block and my brain isn't working right now. As of now, Vegeta has gotten himself in more trouble with Bulma than he ever imagined. Looks like poor Veggie won't be getting no lovin' for some time. Also, what is up with Bulma's mother? And why did she call Vegeta into the kitchen? Read chapter 3 to find out these questions and more in "No Time For Veggie".*
Alright, so read and review or just skip the story all together. It really makes no difference to me what happens. I already know this story sucks donkey nuts, but it's all good. Actually, I would love getting more reviews, so disregard that last message and read and review anyways. Chapter 3 will be up after I get at least 6 reviews...so please, please, please...for the love of Kami! Review! That's all I ask.*
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* Not Part of the Story: Hey, does anyone know where I can download songs from God Smack? I'm looking for two particular songs "I Stand Alone" and "Voodoo". If you have any suggestions, add it to your review or email me at saiyan_baby2002@yahoo.com. Your help will be greatly appreciated.*
*Disclaimer: I still don't own DB/Z/GT. As of now, I'm jobless. I need to get off my lazy bum and get a job. Hmmm, I wonder if Playboy is hiring...*
*Shout Outs: Thanks for everyone who reviewed. You guys are the best man *sniff* I love you guys...*
*Quick Note: Gotta clear some things up real fast.
Number 1) Bulma don't want no kids. At least, not yet. She's sort of afraid ChiChi will try to take them away from her.
Number 2)Vegeta does want kids. He tries to ditch the protection, in hopes of getting her pregnant. Number 3)Dr. Briefs is a raging alcoholic. but tries to keep it a minimum when his wife is around. Number 4)Bulma's moms name is going to be...Sugar. Hehe, after my favorite food group. And she really wants Vegeta...If you know what I mean...
Number 5) More Teletubbies...watch out Vegeta.
Number 6)They live a place with monsoon seasons (just like Arizona, but it's not). I thought it would kind of cool. I lived in Arizona with some friends I met a few summers back. I like the season, only I hated getting stuck outside in the middle of the night.
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Part 2: Can You Feel The Love Tonight? I'm Serious...Can You Feel It?
(sorry...no Teletubbies will making an appearance in this chapter)
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Many months have passed and still, Bulma and Vegeta go at it every night....
'Vegeta you fuckin' lowlife! Did you forget to wear a condom again?' Bulma's voice echoed throughout Capsule Corp. 'That's the third time you shit head! I already told you, I don't want any kids! Not yet anyways!!!' 'Calm down woman. I thought you liked it natural.' Vegeta smirked as he dressed. Already, he had gone without covering his *lil buddy* twice, third times a charm. Bulma gave him the death glare and threw an ashtray at his head, which he caught. 'Well duh!.' she began, 'Who wouldn't?' Vegeta shook his head and placed the ashtray on the table beside him. Then he turned toward Bulma. 'If you don't want any kids, than stop seducing me. And also, the condom dispenser broke. I tried to get one, but it wouldn't take my fifty cents. I think we need to buy a new one.' Bulma looked at him with a open mouth. Since when did he care what was bought around in this house? Then, she frowned. 'Vegeta...it worked just fine the other night. Come to think of it, it worked fine all those other nights too. Are you messing with it?' Bulma asked. Vegeta turned around and looked at Bulma. Her eyes burned with hatred. Smiling, the prince shook his head. 'Now why would I go and do something like that, dearest?' he said as he winked at her. Then laughing, walked out of the room. 'VEGETA!!! If I end up pregnant, I'm taking you to court and suing your pansy ass!!!' That was how is was in the house. From the time they got together, both were at each others throats more than ever. Bulma sat on her bed, sneering and ripping the stuffing out of her teddy bear. 'If I end up pregnant, Mr. I'm-too-Damn-Macho-For-My-Own-Good, is sleeping outside in the rain. Let's see how he feels when the first monsoon season hits this year. I hope he drowns, that dirty monkey!'
Bulma was angry. And anger mixed with Bulma was not a good sign. Looking down, she noticed that the bear was now nothing more than a rag now, stuffing thrown everywhere. Sighing, the blue haired woman began to pick up the stuffing.
Meanwhile....
'Vegeta, did you forget to wear another one? You know how touchy Bulma is about having kids. I hope for your sake, nothing happens.' Dr. Briefs had gone into the kitchen to get himself a beer, when he noticed Vegeta sitting at the table. The saiyan had six bottles of Bud sitting all in a row, while he worked on his seventh. 'Hey Doc. What' up?' Vegeta said, his speech slightly beginning to slur. 'Vegeta, are you ready to take full responsibility if Bulma does end up pregnant? I don't want you running out on my daughter after you knock her up.' 'Of course old man. What? You think I'm going to leave her? I ain't that low...even as a saiyan, I would never do that.' Dr. Briefs smile a little and took a drink from his own bottle. 'I guess right you're Vegeta. You don't really seem the type to do that. Sorry for bringing it up.' Vegeta nodded his head and held up his bottle. 'Hey Briefs, wanna play a game? It's called Red, Black, High or Low.' Vegeta asked. Dr. Briefs smile and nodded. 'Sure, let me get the cards.'
3 hours and 10 cases later...
'So tell me again why everyone in your family is named after underwear?' 'Everyone but my wife. I'm trying to get her to change her name to Lingerie, but she just won't listen.' 'I know how it is man. I wanted to be named Velveeta, but my dad said we should keep it in the family. You know how hard it is to be named after a damn planet and your father? Every time someone yelled out something like 'They're attacking Vegeta' I would have to hide in hopes of not getting killed. Then, if someone came in trying to offer a peace treaty, and I signed it...my father would beat the snot out of me, just because he thought I forged his name.' 'Sounds like you had some problems back then. So, you ready for round eight?' 'Bring it on.'
The game went on for hours. Finally, Dr. Briefs had to stop because he was just too damn plastered. As the old man tried to stand, he felt himself falling backwards. To his relief, his wife came in at that moment and caught him. 'Sweetie, are you drunk again?' the blonde haired woman said in her annoying high pitched voice. 'No Sugar...I ain't drunk. Just a little tipsy, that's all.' the doctor laughed stupidly. Sugar looked at her husband and frowned. Then she noticed Vegeta. Shaking her head in pity, Sugar let go of her husband and as both Sugar and Vegeta watched, the old man fell to the floor, out cold. 'Hey Vegeta, I have a question I want to ask you.' Sugar batted her eyelashes. Vegeta looked at her and frowned. 'Shit! What the fuck does she want?' he thought to himself. Sugar walked over to the saiyan and sat on his lap. 'I was wondering you great big stud of a saiyan, if you could show me all the things you did with my daughter. I wanted to be taught the way of the Karma Sutra, if you know what I mean.' the woman said. If Vegeta was drunk, all it left in that moment. Staring wide eyed at Sugar, the saiyan gagged. 'What it is? Don't you want to? I could teach you Human Anatomy in return.' Taking off her clothes, the old woman put her arms around Vegeta's neck. 'So what do you say? I'm willing and ready. Look see, my love box is ready to go' Vegeta stared wide eyed at the naked woman in front of him. Growling low, he stood up, making the blonde fall to the floor. 'Vegeta, what's wrong? Ain't I good enough?' she asked. 'Woman, I wouldn't touch you even if I was offered a chance to go back to my planet! Who knows how many years it's been since that thing was last used. Besides, I might get lost in all the cobwebs. If you need to get fucked, I advise you to take advantage of your husband who's laying on the floor there, out cold. Anyways, I think it would be the only time your funky human ass will ever get a good lay. I'm willing to bet he doesn't even touch you. You should really think about calling Pest Control so you can get rid of all those starving spiders in that rat trap you call your "love box". Come to think of it, I think Orkin does free inspections. I'll go call for you.' Vegeta walked out of the kitchen, leaving a very sad Sugar behind. But, the horny old woman wasn't sad for long. 'Oh Yes! Give it to me you great big hunk of man meat!!!' Vegeta grimaced and kept walking out. 'I'm going to have horrifying nightmares for the rest of my miserable life.' he said as he shuddered. Then looking up, added. 'Please Kami, for all that is good and just in this world! Kill me now!!'
****
Change of scenery...At the hospital...
Bulma paced back and forth. She had come to the hospital in hopes of finding out if she was pregnant or not. `That man better pray and hope to Kami that I'm not pregnant. Because if he is, I'll kill him! I wager my .45 Caliber Shotgun will do more damage than his stupid ass Big Bang Attack. Big Bang my ass! That little fucker will be dead before Goku has a chance to say KameHameHa!!!' Bulma paced and paced. Finally, a nurse stuck her head out from the doctor's office and smiled. 'Miss Briefs, the doctor will see you now.' she said in a friendly manner. 'What does she have to be so happy about? I'd like to rip that smile off her face.' the blue haired woman frowned. Inside the room, Bulma sat on the bed, waiting for her family doctor to come in. About three minutes passed and she saw him. 'Ahh, Miss Briefs. Hello again. How are you?' he asked. 'I'm fine...but really doc. I ain't got all day, so let's hear it.' Bulma said hastily. 'Well...the tests are negative. So, you're not pregnant.' Bulma could have jumped for joy. 'That's great!! Now I won't have to murder my sex partner and become a homicidal maniac and get on America's Most Wanted.' 'Miss Briefs...I don't know how to tell you this, but umm, we need another sample. The lab techs spilt the last one. We really aren't sure if you are. I just want to run one more test...just to make sure.' Bulma looked up and frowned. 'You're not sure? But I thought you said I wasn't.' 'Yes, I know...but that was just an educated guess. But this time, we'll know for sure.' 'Fine...whatever...' Bulma sighed and went into the attached bathroom to do her thing. After a few minutes, she came out. 'Here and this time, tell me the truth and not some "educated" guess.' 'Yes ma'am .' As the doctor left, Bulma's face began to twist from sheer anger. 'That test better come back negative or else, I'm killing that fucker for sure.'
Several minutes pass...
'Miss Briefs, I have the results.' 'Well, spit it out doc! I don't have all day. I need to get over to Curves for my daily workout. Then I have to go Jo-Jo's Bath and Beauty Supplies for my age defying cream. So spit it out already.' 'You are...you're going to have a baby. Congratulations.' Bulma went wide eyed and looked at the doctor. Smiling in a weird twisted way, she nodded and walked out of the room. 'Miss Briefs...are you okay?' the doctor asked. Bulma turned and looked at him with the twisted smile. 'Yes doctor I'm fine. I just need to go kill someone now. I'll write you from the Women's Correctional Center...if I can.' 'That poor deranged woman. I almost feel sorry for her. Damn it, I never got to tell if those breasts of hers' were real or fake. Shit!'
****
Bulma walked into Capsule Corp with a smile. Finding out she was pregnant had given her an excuse to go homicidal on Vegeta. First, she would kill him. Then she would bury the body in the back yard. If no one saw her do it, then she wouldn't have to worry about getting caught. Going into her room, Bulma grabbed her shotgun and headed down the hall to Vegeta's room. Smiling, she placed the gun next to her and knocked on his door. 'What do you want?' a very angry voice came through the door. 'It's me...your woman. Open the fuckin' door you midget! I have something I need to settle with you!' Vegeta looked at the door and frowned. 'Great.' he thought, 'She's pregnant. I can tell by the tone of her voice. This is not going to go easy. Maybe I should put on that bullet proof vest her dad gave me.' 'Vegeta open the door right now you piece of shit before I knock it down!' 'The door is unlocked! Open it yourself bitch!' Bulma stared wide eyed at the door. Had he just called her a bitch? That was it. Opening the door, Bulma aimed the shotgun at Vegeta and pulled the trigger. Of course, she missed. She fired three more times, but missed those too. Finally, she just gave up. Throwing the gun down, Bulma walked over to Vegeta. 'So, how did it go? Are you preggo's or not?' Vegeta asked. Instead of answering him right away, Bulma looked at him evilly. 'What do you think? Get your shit, you're sleeping outside tonight!' she yelled.
'You're fuckin' crazy! There's no way in hell I'm sleeping outside in this weather! If you haven't already noticed woman, it's pouring the rain out there! You sleep outside!' Vegeta yelled back. Bulma looked at him and smiled. 'Alright then chicken shit, go to Goku's house then.' she said. Vegeta frowned and shook his head. Growling, he shook his fist at Bulma. 'Damn it woman! I'm not going to Kakarott's house to sleep! His bitch of a wife is still there. You know how hard it is to get her to shut up when something of the wrong nature is said? I wish I could just kill her bitch ass and get it over with. I'm sure Kakarott will welcome the sudden change.' 'Vegeta, Goku will kill you if you lay a hand on ChiChi. You have no idea how much he adores her. It's pretty sickening if you ask me.' 'Then I'll stay here. Being pregnant can't be all that bad. Besides, if something happens, I'll just blast the kid out of you. Of course, it might kill you too, but I'm willing to take that chance.' Vegeta smirked and walked over to his bed. Looking back he saw Bulma gasp and frown. 'You don't care about me or what happens to this baby! I hope you die and rot in hell you fuckin' dirt bag!!' the blue haired woman screamed. Then as fast as she could, she ran out of the room. 'I guess I ain't getting any tonight. Damn it!' Vegeta huffed as he laid down on his bed.
Downstairs a very distraught Bulma sat on the couch, watching television. 'How could he say such a thing?' she thought. 'Doesn't he understand that this is a difficult time for me? True, I did threaten to kill him, but I told him time and time again, don't get me pregnant! But did he listen? Nooo! He goes ahead and does it anyways. I bet he was planning it from the beginning. Well, I hope he likes the gift I'm giving him. No mother fucker knocks me up and gets away with it. By this time tomorrow, he's going to be wishing he never heard the name Bulma Briefs. I hope he enjoys being a family man cause that little troll is going to fuckin marry me! Even if I have to roll his sorry behind down the aisle in a wheelchair after I lay the smack down on his ass! Vegeta, I hope you're ready, cause you just got yourself in a shit load of trouble!'
Meanwhile....
Vegeta lay on his bed, thinking about what Bulma had said. What did she mean by not caring for her and the baby? The damn thing wasn't even born yet so how could he care for it? Rolling over, the prince sighed and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. But sleep didn't come for the mighty warrior. Instead, he just tossed and turned. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Vegeta sat up. Looking at the small clock beside his bed, Vegeta started to get angry. '6:15 pm. What the fuck?!' Vegeta shouted. 'Damn it! I've already spent half the day not training! All because that woman and her damn mouth...and making me feel guilty. Maybe I should use her as a punching bag. I know she wouldn't like it but it would make me feel a hell of a lot better! I wonder where she is?' Walking downstairs, Vegeta was greeted at the foot of the steps by Sugar. She had big rosy cheeks and way too much lipstick on. Reeling back in terror, Vegeta gagged. Then he began to laugh. 'What the fuck is wrong with your face?' he laughed. 'It's makeup Vegeta dear. Don't I look absolutely, positively , gee golly gosh cute? Oh and by the way, I overheard Bulma talking to herself a little bit ago. She was saying something like "I'm going to make him pay..." or something like that. My Vegeta...can't you just feel the love?!' Sugar babbled on. 'Oh and by the way, I called Orkin like you said. The man came out did his inspection. He said he would have to come in again next week and spray. Thank you so much for mentioning Orkin to me. Without your help, I would have never guessed we had termites in our basement. You're such a sweet and generous man.' Vegeta cocked his head and looked at Sugar as if to say "Stupid Bitch". Was she really that dense to think he meant calling Orkin for an inspection on the house when he meant for her to get one herself? What was up with this family? The father was a raging alcoholic. The daughter always had PMS. And the mother was just a complete sleaze. So why did he enjoy staying here? Vegeta thought for a moment and smirked. 'Of course...the sex.' he thought. 'Vegeta...are you listening? I wanted to tell you about this cute little puppy I saw at the pet shop. It was so cute! I took one look at the little darling and decided to name it Vegeta Jr. He is so sweet. I'm thinking of buying him. What do you think?' Sugar asked while batting her eyes at Vegeta. Vegeta groaned and looked at Sugar angrily. 'She named a fuckin' dog after me? What a bitch!' he thought. 'Vegeta? Are you listening?' 'Yes you annoying wench! As for my opinion...do as you wish. Just change the beast's name to something else. I am not having a flea bitten mongrel with my name. It's too important to let just anyone have it...especially a fuckin' dog!' Sugar smiled and turned to go into the kitchen. She acted as though Vegeta hadn't even said those words. 'Vegeta is such a kind and generous young man. Perhaps I should divorce my husband and marry him instead. I wonder what the sex would be like?' Sugar walked into the kitchen, saying these things, while a very disgusted Vegeta stood at the top of the steps. 'If I ever marry that ugly skank, I'll have Kakarott personally kill me for ever agreeing to such a hideous union.' Vegeta thought as he walked the rest of the way down. 'Vegeta dear, could you come in here for a moment? Bulma is in here. I think she wants to talk to you.' Sugar yelled from the kitchen. Vegeta frowned and shook his head. 'What does she want now?' he asked himself. Then sighing, the prince walked into the kitchen.
End of chapter 2...
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*sorry so short. Really I am, I have a bad case of writers block and my brain isn't working right now. As of now, Vegeta has gotten himself in more trouble with Bulma than he ever imagined. Looks like poor Veggie won't be getting no lovin' for some time. Also, what is up with Bulma's mother? And why did she call Vegeta into the kitchen? Read chapter 3 to find out these questions and more in "No Time For Veggie".*
Alright, so read and review or just skip the story all together. It really makes no difference to me what happens. I already know this story sucks donkey nuts, but it's all good. Actually, I would love getting more reviews, so disregard that last message and read and review anyways. Chapter 3 will be up after I get at least 6 reviews...so please, please, please...for the love of Kami! Review! That's all I ask.*
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* Not Part of the Story: Hey, does anyone know where I can download songs from God Smack? I'm looking for two particular songs "I Stand Alone" and "Voodoo". If you have any suggestions, add it to your review or email me at saiyan_baby2002@yahoo.com. Your help will be greatly appreciated.*