Wherever You Will Go

by charmedgal005

Sydney's and Vaughn's thoughts on what can't be.

"Wherever You Will Go"

charmedgal005

Disclaimer

If I owned these Characters (aside from the ones you don't recognize) I probably wouldn't be writing these.  If I owned these characters, you would probably see this story on the show.  Hey!  You know what?  I am writing these and you don't see this story line on the show, therefore, I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS!!!  So don't sue me!  I also do not own "Wherever You Will Go."  Nope, not that good.  The Calling does.  And what a mighty fine group they are.

So lately, I've been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face

[Sydney's POV]

Sometimes I wonder if we could ever make it work.  Keeping this love that we both have a secret from my friends, my job, his friends, his job, well, actually, no one could know.  But we've never tried, it is too dangerous.

If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

[Sydney's POV]
I need him.  I lean on him so much more than he knows.  I don't sleep at night because he is not by my side.  But the thought of my next encounter with him at the warehouse, also gives me a great comfort.  Just knowing that he is on the other side of the fence allows me to breathe, but seeing him leaves me breathless.  I need him to function. But sometimes I wonder, does he need me?

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

[Vaughn's POV]

I promised her that would be there when she needed me.  And I always will be.  That is a fact.  Nothing will, and can change that.  But I don't know if I got the true meaning of that promise clear to her.  My words said that I would always be there for her.  My words meant that no matter what, I will always love her, care for her, and be there for her.  IT is funny how only a few words have such a deep meaning. At this point we have both almost died.  The unspoken words, the what ifs.  If only these coincidences wouldn't have happened, we might have said the unspoken words.  Why is it that near death experiences make us want to tell the truth?  IF she did die, I would die with her.  She is so much a part of me.  I live, I breathe, I eat, I sleep her.  They call me obsessed.  They aren't in love with someone so off limits.

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

[Vaughn's POV]

I think I am one of the few people that are excited when I get a counter mission to deliver to her.  Not because she is in danger each time, but because it means I get to see her.  Face to face, alone.  No one else is there.  It is funny; it is too dangerous to have anyone else in the warehouse with us while I'm going over a counter mission.  Afraid of leaks they say.  It is almost too dangerous not for someone else to be there.  To keep my emotions in check.  Every time I see her smiling face, every time she walks through the chain link fence door, I want to run over there, and just shower her with the love I possess.  And someone there, that would just help me out. 

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

[Sydney's POV]

He is the only one I have told the truth to.  I have few secrets from him.  Unlike the rest of the world.  I would love to just tell him everything.  For the most part I do.  But now that Will knows everything, I don't see him as much.  Sometimes it is more convenient to just talk to Will, rather than doing a fake call, and driving someplace where I can't even look him in the eye. But I still like to talk to him- a lot.  The only thing I keep from him is how much I want him. 

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

[Sydney's POV]

I close my eyes, and the horrors I have seen flash across my eyelids.  Danny, lying in the bathtub, with holes throughout his body.  The building blowing up with the CIA agents inside, watching Noah fall on the knife, the people Kassanau operated on, while they were still alive.  All of them, almost impossible for most people to live through.  But I'm not most people.  Still, I don't know how I do it.  Actually, I do.  He helps me through it.  I can't believe I fell in love with a man that I can not love.  Why must the rules be followed?  Screw protocol, I actually heard him say that once.  Why can't we screw protocol now?  I love him so much.  I think he knows this.  Probably Francie even knows this.  Well, not who it is, but that I love someone.  She'll eventually figure out what those wrong numbers are.  And why I leave so quickly after them.  It's not that hard to figure out.  Each time I hear those words "Joey's Pizza" I know that I'll be able to see him.  It is the one good thing about my job.  The one good thing.  I'm easy to read sometimes.  When it comes to love.  That is what Francie said.  Does that mean she knows?  Does that mean she knows that I love someone?

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

[Vaughn's POV]

I wonder if she feels the same way too.  I'm pretty sure she can see through me, I'm not nearly as good at hiding my emotions as she is, but I can't see through her.  I want her to feel the same way.  I already have it all planned out, our future together.  SD-6 and the Alliance is gone.  We are happily married living only a few blocks from Eric, and her friends Francie and Will.    Our two children running around the house, oblivious to the fact that we used to be intelligence officers.  I would get a job someplace, maybe a teacher, but away from the CIA.  She would be teaching at the university, something she always wanted.  Our daughter would be beautiful, looking just like her mother, with a pretty and unusual name, like Dalia.  Our son would be athletic, but not so much that he had the potential for recruitment.  They would both be so smart.  Our family would be normal.  And we would be together.

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

[Sydney's POV]

I owe him a Kings game.  As soon as SD-6 is gone, I'll take him to a Kings game.  If it is off season, I'll have one taped.  In fact, I already have one taped from last year when I first promised him a game.  I keep it, as a reminder to me.  Not like I need one.  But after the game, we'll start dating.  We'll date for a couple of years, but only for appearances, because we love each other so much now, well, at least I love him.  We'll get married.  We will have two boys that will look just like him.  There is not face more beautiful than his.  I even want to name on after him.  They wouldn't know about our past, they wouldn't know how we met.  It would be our secret.  But we would love each other, more than the sun and the moon.  That is how it would be in my fantasy world.

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

Slowly he picked up the phone.  The fact that she didn't know was eating him alive.  He had to tell her, weather she felt the same or not, she had to know how he felt.  The numbers felt familiar as he had dialed them.  One ring, two rings.

"Hello?"  She answered.

He almost hung up the phone.  It wasn't going to be easy, but instead he said those two words.  "Joey's pizza."

She smiled.  It wasn't everyday that he called her for no particular reason.  Normally there was a mission involved.  "Wrong number."  She said, they both lingered a moment, before hanging up the phone.  She gathered a few things and as she did so decided that she was going to tell him just how much he meant to her.

They both knew things would be different.