Only Time
Part One: At the Beginning
By: Zarabeth McGregor
Chapter 23
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing. Aight? Cool. The phrase Pools of Prussians is copyrighted to Minimerc.
Sorry! I'm soooooooooo sorry it took so long for me to update! I had to do a History project, and then…I must admit…I had to try and figure out what I was doing for this chapter. You aren't ready to kill me no?
Also, I've been reading the Sailor Moon Super S mangas, and I must say, they're much better than the anime in my humble opinion. I mean the scouts are much prettier (well, okay I probably prefer to see Mina, Rei and Michelle in the anime, but anyway!) and I seem to feel it more. The artwork is much lovelier, though, I'll vouch for that. But while reading and looking at the pictures, I have a question to ask: if the scouts are shorter than me (Lita's the tallest and she's 5'4'', my height) how did they end up with legs longer than mine? I've been asking that question for the past few days now…
Anyway…
Questions or Comments and Answers or Responses:
D-chan: Uh…where do you get off calling my fic trite, cliché, overdone and boring? I mean, what's your reasoning behind that? Just because I so happen to want Ami to be the recipient of Heero's affection? I like Heero, so what? *Rolls eyes* And as if I'm going to scrap this just because you say I should…dream on…
: Haven't you ever heard of re-vamping an old…well, I guess we can call it a tradition? While I must admit it that Heero does fall for Ami, you really should be more open-minded; just because the first chapter seems to be following the norm doesn't mean the rest of the fic will. And besides, if you read on, you'd realize that I couldn't possible write 22 chapters based on that one topic and manage to rake in over 350 wonderful reviews.
Kid: Begging your pardon?
Lady-Solarity: Ami losing her scout abilities…hmm…maybe…and thank you; I hope you didn't fail yours on my account…
SweetAngels3: Quite double standard, I must admit…Ooh…what'd you guess wrong?
Callisto Star: *laughs* funny? How?
D-chan's Ice Queen: Why, thank you!
RoseGirl2000: *sniff* Thank you…*sniffs again; starts sobbing*
Ladymiaka11: *Curtsies deeply and graciously* Thank you kindly, My Lady. I'm glad you seem to like Relena more, that's what I wanted to achieve with this fic.
Silver-Star: I broke Li? Wow…I made her snap…is that possible? *Re-reads review; blinks in amazement*
Kaiya: Nothing to do with notebooks, you say…*Narrows eyes, sniffs* well, I guess it was kinda obvious…but that doesn't mean you're off the hook yet! Hmm…it's been…three weeks, and I'm still waiting for that email…as for the 'sickness' thing…I really was sick, for your information…*huffs*Christmas break is coming up soon…like next Friday…*laughs joyously*
Michelle Ann: I agree…Relena isn't a bad person, she really isn't…at least for the better part of the show…*remembers Relena's antics in the first few episodes; shudders* Oh, and I'm glad to hear that, mine might be partially historical as well…it's just a matter of picking the time period…
Lanc: Aw…sorry for the suspense bit…seriously, sometimes it can't be helped.
Sammie: Yes, they were…finally!
Oldestof3: Oh, you do?
Jessica: Ooh…you see the scandal in this whole situation, huh?
Gotunks: I know…he's sweet…in his own strange way…
Crystal Dragon: Nah…I don't want to stress you…especially now since Christmas is coming on and I have added a heap of stuff to the list…
WikeD tEnShI: Cute, huh? Interesting…
Arella Hallo: *laughs* Well, it took me long enough, but yes, we are!
Kate: Aw…I could never do that…then I'd get killed by the likes Kaiya and yourself…and many, many other people…they scare me…*pulls teddy bear closer; squeezes it*
Shi no Tenshi/Megami: Oh, girlfriend, I will, trust me…it's just finding the time…I'm sooo stressed out from school
Solus Nox: I know!!!! *Squeals* I especially liked him and Aaliyah together in 'Romeo Must Die'. They look cute together. I was looking forward to seeing them in 'Matrix 2', but then she died…*sniffs*
Wicked Lady: Yeah…true that…I guess he would've been expected since…well…you know…but Duo would be too 'cause he's her guy. Hmm. President Munez, Ami's soul-mate? *Laughs* Now that would be one for the bloopers!
Mercury Ice Storm: *laughs* Oh, yeah, ANYBODY!!!
Jchild: Oh, yes she can be!! *Laughs* I envy you, by the way…
Hope129: Well, it was only a matter of time…why thank you, by the way.
Minimerc: Yeah…he did…hmm, what about Relena indeed…
~*~
I took a deep breath and looked up again, you know, just to be sure. Thick, messy, chocolate hair that fell over his forehead, into his unusual Prussian eyes, a firm, determined jaw-line and thin-set lips. Yep, I'd say that was Heero. However, this confirmation did not lift my spirits or fill me with relief. Instead, my heart seemingly turned to lead as it sank rapidly in my chest. I wasn't ready to face Heero. I doubt I was even ready to face Duo. Not yet, not when I didn't have the chance to think over and sort out the problem, which, by the way, seemed to laugh at me and my total 'cluelessness' to the whole affair. I moaned and quite ironically, leaned against Heero for comfort.
Presently, Heero put me down gently and pressed a button on some sort of handheld device. Out of nowhere, a silver cord descended from the Gundam. He grabbed onto it with one hand and pulled me carefully toward him by putting the other arm around my waist tenderly. Before I could stress myself about being so close to Heero, we were suddenly above the forest floor, and moving quite steadily. I held on to a strap of his green tank top. In less than no time, we had stepped onto a platform projecting from what assumed to be the chest of the Gundam. The cord had vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared.
I took this opportunity to look inside of the Gundam. I frowned at what I saw. See, what I assumed to be the cockpit was no bigger the average driver's side of a car. More space seemed to be taken up by control panels and the like than that of personal room for the pilot. And all the pilot's space consisted of was a leather seat, now facing us, with seatbelts that seemed more like harnesses and joysticks and levers on either side arm of the chair, as well as more buttons and switches.
In all of this, I had one question that bugged me: if there was barely enough space for the pilot, that person being Heero, where was I supposed to sit?
At that moment, Heero strode across the platform, before taking the little half step down into the cockpit. Then, he seated himself upon the pilot's chair. I raised a brow as he gazed up at me, as if he expected me to do something.
"What?" I asked with a shrug. Heero spread his hands.
"Aren't you going to sit?" I blinked, looking at the area he was gesturing at. This area just so happened to be his lap. Uh, he couldn't possibly be serious. Me, sit on him, for this entire flight? Didn't this thing have a jump seat?
"You must be joking," I said with a dry chuckle. Heero shrugged.
"I assure you, I'm not. This is the only option," I saw his Prussian eyes start to glimmer mischievously. "Unless you prefer to be strapped to the Gundam." I felt my cheeks redden at his remark. I also became very aware of the cold metal of the platform stinging the soles of my bare feet.
Okay, I mean, considering the situation we were involved in presently, believe it or not, I was actually considering the more recent proposal. However, before I could do anything stupid, common sense kicked in. with a huge, resigned sigh, I started to walk over to him. During my short walk over, a light breeze blew around me, making me suddenly aware of my attire. President Munez didn't allow Relena and me the opportunity to change our clothes. So, I was still in my blue, oversized nightgown that barely covered my thighs. As I took the step down, I glanced up at Heero.
"We don't have all day, you know," he said flatly. I decided to put my reservations to rest and get over it. I walked over to Heero, turned and sat down. I made sure, however, that I didn't apply all of my weight onto him, so I wouldn't get too comfortable.
He swung the seat around so we were facing the control panel, as well as the transparent windshield. Never before had I seen so many buttons and switches. How could anyone understand or even remember their functions when the all looked alike? Not to mention the fact that they were unlabelled. But, Heero seemed to be very confident about what he was supposed to do, because his fingers raced over the panel as he pressed the buttons and flicked the switches. Immediately after all of this, I heard a dull roar from somewhere below us. I could also feel the vibrations as the Gundam took flight. I barely felt him as he placed an arm around my waist, pulling me toward him. I did, nevertheless, feel the hard planes of his chest against my back; feel his breath upon my hair.
So much for not getting too comfortable.
With his free hand, Heero wrapped his slender fingers around the head of the joystick on the chair's arm and began twisting and turning it in gentle, deft movements. He then switched to the opposite arm and began to push the lever forward slowly but surely. This alternating action went on for a few more minutes, to steady the Gundam as it flew. And all this while he held me to him. I realized that he was safeguarding me, securing me if anything should happen. I became aware of his arm around my waist once again, its gentle firmness comforting me slightly. I felt safe.
About five or ten minutes after, the Gundam was finally stable. I took this rare opportunity to look at the sky outside. Oh, it was so beautiful. Stars twinkled against a dark sky like diamonds sewn onto piece of rare, black, velvet. Space colonies floated around us, silently and serenely, no doubt conducting their affairs oblivious to everything around them, it seemed. They were like their own little worlds in one big, vast universe, isolated from the others. To my left was the moon, bright and full, its craters like little pinpricks on its surface. But that wasn't what I was putting my attention on. My eyes were focused to something just behind of it, almost unnoticeable if you weren't looking in that direction, but quite apparent all the same. I was looking at the Earth.
From up here, the Earth was eerily beautiful, the only colour in a void of black. How tiny we looked from this vantage point. How so very vulnerable, as well. Heero removed his arm slowly, to try and not stir me from my rapture. But this gradual movement was what brought me back to reality. Back to being stuck in a Gundam, immensely uncomfortable. Back to my problems and stress. I sighed inwardly and posed the question which had been bothering me for some time now.
"How long will this flight take?"
"We will be landing on colony FG512," he said monotonously. "That should take an hour and a half approximately." An hour and a half. That was ninety minutes, a double period at school. Oh, now that topic will definitely come up.
But I would definitely procrastinate it, if not prevent it. I devised a little scheme to delay the proceedings a bit. While sitting in silence would be preferable to the both of us, that was boring and I would be tempted to discuss it with him. But if I kept him talking…
"May I ask you a question?" I asked him sweetly. I could feel him shrug.
"Go ahead," he said flatly.
"Weren't the Gundams destroyed after the Mariemaia revolts?" I'd been itching to ask this question since I saw the suits.
"Propaganda," Heero replied simply.
"Sorry?" I asked with a frown.
"Self-created propaganda," he clarified. He told me bluntly, like I was supposed to know what he meant.
"Um…" I began; about to voice my confusion.
"The Alliance ordered us to destroy the Gundams. We didn't agree with their reasons behind this wish, so we arranged for it to be reported that they were destroyed," he said, putting slight emphasis on the word 'reported'. I understood why they took that stand. The Alliance probably though that there won't be any more wars, so the Gundams weren't needed. The Preventers knew better, but they didn't want to appear insubordinate, so they made it look like they appeased them. And I couldn't blame them. I didn't want to imagine what would've happened to Relena and I, had they destroyed the Gundams.
"How'd you guys get the additional information on our kidnapping, like the 48hr condition?" I asked another question. Heero grunted.
"I thought you said 'a' question," he commented coldly. I simply shrugged.
"Indulge me; it's a long flight," I imagined him rolling his eyes as he grunted again.
"We roughed up one of the younger members and he gave us the relevant information," he said that with such finality, I knew that conversation was dead, unable to be resurrected. I also knew hardly any time had passed. So I brought up a new topic.
"So, I have the privilege of flying in the legendary Gundam Wing Zero, huh?" I said with a musing sigh. It was a bit overwhelming, being in this machine which helped to save the world from utter annihilation on more than one occasion.
"You're mistaken. This is the Gundam Tallgeese 3," he replied stoically. I couldn't help but giggle at the name 'Tallgeese'. Seriously, it sounded very comical. Think about it…Tallgeese. Tall…geese…Anyway, it was still intrigued by Wing Zero.
"So where's your Gundam?" I asked. I also felt Heero shift slightly in his seat.
"The Gundam Wing Zero has been completely destroyed. It suffered irreparable damage during the Mariemaia Revolt. My heart sank slightly at his words. Not only was a disappointed to hear that such a magnificent machine had been destroyed, but at the coldness behind his words. He didn't even refer to it as 'my Gundam', as I heard of other pilots doing.
"Don't you miss it?" I asked, curious. In the papers I had gotten on my first day in this dimension, I read that pilots were usually attached to their Gundams emotionally, and usually gave them pet names, or even talked to them as they would a friend. It's understandable; they had seen so much together, been through things most of us could only imagine.
"Why? Should I?" came his response, as frosty and detached as before. But this time, there was something behind of it. Sadness?
"I don't know, I guess I expected you to, you've gone through so much with it…"
"Gundams are machines of mass destruction, used to kill people, innocent as well as those deserving, he said, cutting me off.
"But…"
"Certain Gundams," Heero continued, as if I hadn't tried to interject. "Can have an undesirable effect on you, play on your emotions and fears. You are turned into something less than human, something completely without mercy or scruples." Heero's voice was so charged with emotion, it shook. I listened to him, my mouth slightly agape and eyes wide, obviously enthralled. He paused for a few minutes, and I could feel him breathing deeply, wrestling with something inside of him. Then he spoke again, softly and breathlessly:
"You never realize until it's too late."
After that last comment, we sat in silence. I knew what he was talking about when he referred to 'certain Gundams'; those installed with the infamous Zero system. Only two Gundams were ever equipped with it; The Gundam Epyon and Wing Zero. And Heero piloted both.
From my limited information, I knew that once the system found its way into the pilot's mind, it controlled him until its objectives had been achieved. It controlled him by freeing the pilot of all of his inhibitions and fears, convincing him he had something to fear, a reason to fight ruthlessly and relentlessly, without a shred of emotion or humanity until, as Heero said, it was too late. By then, the damage done was irreversible. It was ironic, since it was a case of machine controlling human, instead of the way it usually was, in my opinion, the way it ought to be. The effects on the human mind influenced by the system for long periods of time…wait, correction…the effects on the human mind, unable to control and overcome its influence, especially for long periods of time, were disastrous.
I also knew that Heero was the only person ever available to overcome and control the Zero System's influence.
I pondered all this as the silence stretched on. How did the Zero System get into the pilot's mind? What did the pilot see while he was under its influence? What caused him to be so brutal and savage? And how was Heero able to overcome all of this? All of these questions weighed heavily on my mind and I was itching to ask them. But I never would, never consciously, anyway. Out of respect for Heero, I didn't; I knew this was a sore topic for him. I glanced down at his hand on his joystick and I knew how much it affected him. Heero's hand was gripping its head tightly; his knuckles were bone white. He was undoubtedly reflecting his times under the system's influence. I also knew they weren't pleasant thoughts. I suddenly wanted to ease his tension, to stray his thoughts from that dark place in his mind.
"You took us for a ride, you and Relena did," I said suddenly, immediately regretting it. We all knew where this conversation was going to end up.
"What?" Heero asked, as if he was suddenly jerked from a deep sleep.
"You and Relena knew that Duo and I were trying to get you too back together," I rephrased my comment. I noticed that he was easing his grip on the joystick.
"It was quite obvious," he replied as if it was no big thing, back to his cool demeanor. I frowned at this remark though I sighed silently at the return of his nonchalant attitude.
"How so?" I asked. Was it me, or did he chuckle?
"Duo never asks me to go out with him," he answered, his voice emotionless, though. "Says I'm no fun." I sighed. He knew something was up from the word 'Go'.
"So that means you didn't agree to come because you wanted to spend quality time with your best friend," I said, suddenly gaining some enlightenment.
"Of course not."
"You wanted to see what he was up to," I continued, ignoring his little comment.
"That's right."
"And when you saw me and Relena, you knew."
"Go on."
"Then, I guess you didn't buy our sudden departures either, so when you got up while I was leaving, you were going to spy on me," I closed my eyes, remembering the glass windows along the wall on the way to the bathroom, with a clear view of the parking lot. And to think I warned Duo about the very same thing.
"Go on," he encouraged me again. I bit my lip, trying to remember what Relena told me.
"Okay, so you told Relena about our plans but…" I wrinkled my nose and took a wild guess. "She needed proof, so you went over to Duo, to get your proof, which you did, you called Relena with the evidence, she became convinced, and came up with her little plan, which you agreed to."
"Bravo," Heero said dryly. I was tempted to chuckle, I must admit, but something still baffled me.
"So…what was your proof, then?" I asked slowly. I heard Heero scoff slightly.
"Sure you can't figure it out?" he asked in a teasing, patronizing way. I felt my temper flare momentarily.
"Would I be asking if I could?" I spat. The things embarrassment makes you do. Heero chuckled lowly behind me, obviously enjoying himself.
"I went over by Duo to confront him, you know that much. I presented my evidence and then I dared him to deny it," he said. I waited for him to continue, by stomach tightening slightly. "But then he surprised me."
"Huh?" I asked dumbly.
"The thing about Duo is whenever he's confronted with something, he will admit to it. He won't even try to deny it," I frowned slightly.
"But Relena said…"
"He would admit to it," he repeated, his tone commanding me to take his word for it. "Aren't you familiar with his motto: 'I may run, I may hide, but I'll never tell a lie'?"
"Obviously not," I muttered to myself. I guess if you thought about it hard and long enough, it would make sense.
However, Heero wasn't finished.
"From that little denial, I also picked up something else: that it was all your idea," he said calmly. I, on the other hand, felt my heart drop. I turned the best I could so I would be able to see him.
"How…?" was all I could manage to get out. He smirked softly.
"Like I said, Duo denied everything, which is highly unusual. Even after I threatened him last time, Duo would've admitted to it. If he was crazy enough to try it again. So, I figured I figured the only reason he denied it was because he was protecting someone—you." I blinked rapidly, shocked at his deduction skills. I tried to give him a reason to doubt this.
"How do you know that Duo didn't come up with it on his own, and I just decided to tag along?" I asked with a haughty sniff. Heero chuckled lowly.
"If you knew what I told duo last time, you would also find it hard to believe that he'd try it again by himself," Heero cocked his head thoughtfully then. "As a matter a fact I found it slightly unbelievable that he'd do this again after what happened last time." Then he smiled softly at me. "Then again, Duo always did anything for a pretty face."
The silence that followed was deafening and heavy, almost tangible. The way Heero was gazing at me, so deeply and intently, was quite unlike the way I was beginning to get accustomed to. His Prussian eyes seemed to impale me, as I couldn't move and inch, even if I wanted to. I think I stopped breathing for a while too. Then they penetrated me, seemingly searching my soul. I wonder what he saw, when he looked at me that way, what he was thinking of. I felt shivers traveling up and down my spine.
Then he lifted a hand slowly, almost gingerly. His fingers grazed my cheek softly, featherlike. It tickled slightly, but not in the way that would make one laugh and squirm. It transfixed me even more.
His fingers moved from my cheek, moving upward steadily until they touched my hair, running through my strands delicately. The way they moved, so carefully and cautiously, it was almost as if he was afraid of something, like if he touched me too roughly, I'd break or disappear. Wait, no…that wasn't it…
His hand came down from my hair and traveled back down along my cheek, to the line of my jaw, where it stayed for a few moments. Heero cocked his head to his left, a slight frown on his features. Then his fingers shifted slightly and they moved so slowly, so leisurely, it was almost as if they hardly moved.
Then his fingertips touched my lips gently, causing my pulse to quicken. Their callousness made the touches more pronounced, more obvious. It didn't help that my lips were quite sensitive. His thumb brushed against my lower lip, causing me suddenly to develop this irresistible urge to moisten my lips, for they were suddenly dry.
His still looked at me in that piercing, strong way of his, and I realized that I hadn't broken eye contact since he touched me. Did I even blink?
His fingers moved from my lips, to my chin, where they curled and held it gently. Like a dream, I felt myself being pulled unhurriedly toward him. My eyes grew heavy and I felt my lashes touch my cheek.
His lips barely brushed mine; I could feel his breath against them. And almost as softly, I felt it trail along my jaw-line, soft wand warm. I could feel it against my earlobe and he whispered softly:
"This isn't right."
Uh…yeah…just so you guys know, this is the end of the scene. Just had to let you know I didn't cliffhanger you again…yeah…bye…