Chapter 6
**Flash back **
All I can hear are words. Just sounds. I see their mouths moving, and I know they are talking to me, but I cant focus on what they are saying. I am in a dress and shoes that are 3 sizes to big for me. I look like a doll someone decided to play dress up with.
I am soaking wet. I look like a drowned rat, what ever that looks like. I only use the saying because it was one of moms favorites. Since we moved to Oregon, I have come in looking like a "drowned rat" regularly. Any way, I have no umbrella or rain coat. Its cold, and the rain doesn't look like it will let up anytime soon.
I'm shivering. I don't know if its from the cold and the wet, or if its from watching these two men lower this casket holding my mothers body in it. Its all becoming real to me. Its all starting to sink in. They are putting her in the cold hard ground. I will never see her again. She will never tuck me in at night. She will never again kiss me, hug me or listen to me when I need her to. I am in shock. I don't know what to do. She isn't here to protect me from him anymore. What's going to happen to me now?
I tried calling DT earlier, but as soon as Vince heard that it was me, he hung up again. ASS HOLE. Just wait till I get a hold of Dom and tell him what is going on. Vince isn't here, and he should be. The Fucker. Mom loved him so much. She talked about him everyday. Dreaming of when we could go back to Los Angeles so she could see her big grown up man. I want to go back to, but not to see that loser. I want to see my hero. I want my Dommy. He will make this all go away. He will know what to do to make this all better.
Please God, help me! Let Dom answer the phone when I can find a chance to call again.
I can feel the tears running down my face. Its safe to cry now. "He" wont know that I'm crying. It wont be an excuse for him to hurt me. I'll just blame it on the rain.
Oh hell, what have I done. He's screaming at me again. Everyone is gone. He's pulling me to the car. Oh shit, Oh shit, what's he going to do? He doesn't hit me. We are driving back to the house. Its time for the phonies he calls friends to come and eat our food and drink his liquor and pretend to be sorry about my mom. He is putting on his sad face, getting ready to play his part. I go to open the door of the car and he grabs me.
He tells me to act all sad and keep my mouth shut. OR ELSE!! I feel my stomach turn, and I shiver. Not a problem, I know just what he means by that and I am not looking to get knocked around today. Plus, I am sad. I don't have to pretend. This is the day that we buried my mother. He is the joke. Poor lost soul. Devoted husband. If only these people knew the truth. Today would be a lot different if they did.
For the next four hours I watch him perform for these people. He plays his part to perfection. Loving devoted husband and step father. Grief stricken by the tragic sudden loss of his wife and my mother. Thank god I haven't eaten, so that I wont be sick to my stomach.
He's a lying sack of shit. If he loved my mother, then why is she dead? Why did he beat her every single day since we got here?
People are starting to go home now. Finally! I go into the bathroom careful to lock the door and start my shower. I take the top off of the toilet to get the Vodka bottle. Holy Shit! He drank the whole thing. Oh my god he is going to be an ass tonight. Fuck! What am I going to do?
I take my shower, and quietly sneak into my room and go to bed. I am wiped out and fall asleep pretty quickly, but only to be awakened a few hours later.
What woke me up? What is that noise. It sounds like grunting. Oh my god. Its him. He is in my room. Oh, fuck. He's touching himself. He's watching me sleep and jacking off. Gross. This is too weird. Ill just pretend to still be sleeping and pray for him to go away.
"I know your awake you little slut!"
Oh my god I am in so much trouble. How am I going to get out of this one.
Leon's POV
Holy shit! This must be some nightmare. She is screaming and yelling and kicking and hitting and I cant get her to wake up. I keep shaking her and talking to her, but she just isn't responding. She is going to have the whole house in here in a minute.
I pick her up and take her into the bathroom and shut the door, hoping to keep the team from waking up. Damn this girl can throw a punch. She may not weigh much, but I am feeling each and every hit and kick she is dealing.
Finally I turn on the shower. Its warm, but I have to wake her up. This is starting to scare me and I know its hard on her body to be this upset and detoxing at the same time. I climb into the shower holding her. Rubbing the water into her hair and on her face. Oh thank god its starting to work.
Oh well I may have spoken to soon. Oh she is pissed. What the hell and what the fuck and my god you think she is Vince the way she cusses.
Now she is crying. What am I doing? I tell her she was having bad dream, and that I was worried when I couldn't wake her, so I got us into the shower to get her woke up. That its not a good idea for her to get so upset when she is coming off of the crap she has been sticking in her arm.
Was she saying anything was her only question. I told her a little, she is so scared. I promise not to tell Dom or Mia what she was saying, but I also tell her she needs to tell me, everything, so that I can help her. If she wont tell them, she has to tell me. She looks so defeated. I get out of the shower, and grab us each a towel. Oh shit, with Dom's t-shirt there is little left to imagine. I turn away and tell her to go and get another one of Dom's shirts, and she can have the bathroom to change. Smart ass asks if I am embarrassed. I tell her no, that I am trying to show her the respect she deserves. This makes her cry more. Shit I cant say anything right.
I go and get her another shirt of Dom's and hand it to her and tell her to give me a minute to change. As soon as I am done, she knocks and asks if she can come out and I tell her yes, that its cool.
She comes over to the bed, and crawls under the covers. She looks up at me and asks if ill sit with her for awhile. She looks so helpless and scared, so I go and sit next to her. She starts to cry again. I reach for her, and she buries her head in my chest, while I stroke her hair and rub her back. I just let her cry it all out. There is nothing else I can do.
When she finishes, I look down, and she is looking up at me. She tells me that besides Dom today, no one as held her, hugged her, kissed her, or comforted her since her mom died 4 years ago. My mouth dropped open. This poor kid hasn't had anyone for so long.
I ask her if she is ready to tell me what the dream was about. She tells me it wasn't a dream. That the nightmare was about something that actually happened. If she tells me, will I just let it be for now and she will give me the details in a few days, when she is feeling better. I say ok.
She tells me after taking a deep breath: "I was reliving the day my mother was buried and that same night, when my step dad raped me."
**Flash back **
All I can hear are words. Just sounds. I see their mouths moving, and I know they are talking to me, but I cant focus on what they are saying. I am in a dress and shoes that are 3 sizes to big for me. I look like a doll someone decided to play dress up with.
I am soaking wet. I look like a drowned rat, what ever that looks like. I only use the saying because it was one of moms favorites. Since we moved to Oregon, I have come in looking like a "drowned rat" regularly. Any way, I have no umbrella or rain coat. Its cold, and the rain doesn't look like it will let up anytime soon.
I'm shivering. I don't know if its from the cold and the wet, or if its from watching these two men lower this casket holding my mothers body in it. Its all becoming real to me. Its all starting to sink in. They are putting her in the cold hard ground. I will never see her again. She will never tuck me in at night. She will never again kiss me, hug me or listen to me when I need her to. I am in shock. I don't know what to do. She isn't here to protect me from him anymore. What's going to happen to me now?
I tried calling DT earlier, but as soon as Vince heard that it was me, he hung up again. ASS HOLE. Just wait till I get a hold of Dom and tell him what is going on. Vince isn't here, and he should be. The Fucker. Mom loved him so much. She talked about him everyday. Dreaming of when we could go back to Los Angeles so she could see her big grown up man. I want to go back to, but not to see that loser. I want to see my hero. I want my Dommy. He will make this all go away. He will know what to do to make this all better.
Please God, help me! Let Dom answer the phone when I can find a chance to call again.
I can feel the tears running down my face. Its safe to cry now. "He" wont know that I'm crying. It wont be an excuse for him to hurt me. I'll just blame it on the rain.
Oh hell, what have I done. He's screaming at me again. Everyone is gone. He's pulling me to the car. Oh shit, Oh shit, what's he going to do? He doesn't hit me. We are driving back to the house. Its time for the phonies he calls friends to come and eat our food and drink his liquor and pretend to be sorry about my mom. He is putting on his sad face, getting ready to play his part. I go to open the door of the car and he grabs me.
He tells me to act all sad and keep my mouth shut. OR ELSE!! I feel my stomach turn, and I shiver. Not a problem, I know just what he means by that and I am not looking to get knocked around today. Plus, I am sad. I don't have to pretend. This is the day that we buried my mother. He is the joke. Poor lost soul. Devoted husband. If only these people knew the truth. Today would be a lot different if they did.
For the next four hours I watch him perform for these people. He plays his part to perfection. Loving devoted husband and step father. Grief stricken by the tragic sudden loss of his wife and my mother. Thank god I haven't eaten, so that I wont be sick to my stomach.
He's a lying sack of shit. If he loved my mother, then why is she dead? Why did he beat her every single day since we got here?
People are starting to go home now. Finally! I go into the bathroom careful to lock the door and start my shower. I take the top off of the toilet to get the Vodka bottle. Holy Shit! He drank the whole thing. Oh my god he is going to be an ass tonight. Fuck! What am I going to do?
I take my shower, and quietly sneak into my room and go to bed. I am wiped out and fall asleep pretty quickly, but only to be awakened a few hours later.
What woke me up? What is that noise. It sounds like grunting. Oh my god. Its him. He is in my room. Oh, fuck. He's touching himself. He's watching me sleep and jacking off. Gross. This is too weird. Ill just pretend to still be sleeping and pray for him to go away.
"I know your awake you little slut!"
Oh my god I am in so much trouble. How am I going to get out of this one.
Leon's POV
Holy shit! This must be some nightmare. She is screaming and yelling and kicking and hitting and I cant get her to wake up. I keep shaking her and talking to her, but she just isn't responding. She is going to have the whole house in here in a minute.
I pick her up and take her into the bathroom and shut the door, hoping to keep the team from waking up. Damn this girl can throw a punch. She may not weigh much, but I am feeling each and every hit and kick she is dealing.
Finally I turn on the shower. Its warm, but I have to wake her up. This is starting to scare me and I know its hard on her body to be this upset and detoxing at the same time. I climb into the shower holding her. Rubbing the water into her hair and on her face. Oh thank god its starting to work.
Oh well I may have spoken to soon. Oh she is pissed. What the hell and what the fuck and my god you think she is Vince the way she cusses.
Now she is crying. What am I doing? I tell her she was having bad dream, and that I was worried when I couldn't wake her, so I got us into the shower to get her woke up. That its not a good idea for her to get so upset when she is coming off of the crap she has been sticking in her arm.
Was she saying anything was her only question. I told her a little, she is so scared. I promise not to tell Dom or Mia what she was saying, but I also tell her she needs to tell me, everything, so that I can help her. If she wont tell them, she has to tell me. She looks so defeated. I get out of the shower, and grab us each a towel. Oh shit, with Dom's t-shirt there is little left to imagine. I turn away and tell her to go and get another one of Dom's shirts, and she can have the bathroom to change. Smart ass asks if I am embarrassed. I tell her no, that I am trying to show her the respect she deserves. This makes her cry more. Shit I cant say anything right.
I go and get her another shirt of Dom's and hand it to her and tell her to give me a minute to change. As soon as I am done, she knocks and asks if she can come out and I tell her yes, that its cool.
She comes over to the bed, and crawls under the covers. She looks up at me and asks if ill sit with her for awhile. She looks so helpless and scared, so I go and sit next to her. She starts to cry again. I reach for her, and she buries her head in my chest, while I stroke her hair and rub her back. I just let her cry it all out. There is nothing else I can do.
When she finishes, I look down, and she is looking up at me. She tells me that besides Dom today, no one as held her, hugged her, kissed her, or comforted her since her mom died 4 years ago. My mouth dropped open. This poor kid hasn't had anyone for so long.
I ask her if she is ready to tell me what the dream was about. She tells me it wasn't a dream. That the nightmare was about something that actually happened. If she tells me, will I just let it be for now and she will give me the details in a few days, when she is feeling better. I say ok.
She tells me after taking a deep breath: "I was reliving the day my mother was buried and that same night, when my step dad raped me."