TITLE: Crossroads
AUTHOR: Anansay
RATING: PG-13
KEYWORDS: Grissom, Sara, GSR, RST of a sort
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: another GSR. Grissom makes a choice. Will Sara accept?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters. I've just borrowed them. I like to have with them and see what they'll do. (
CROSSROADS By Anansay December 2, 2002
Crossroads.
Decisions.
Binary logic, really.
Yay or nay.
Black or white.
Life or death.
His relationships had never worked out. People just couldn't seem to understand him. He was an enigma. Men have this aptitude of unidirectional thought processes. When they would become absorbed with an activity, it precluded all other interaction, except for the man and the business at hand. It was a good ability have as a matter of fact, though many women fail to see its relevance. Historically speaking, if a man is hunting, all of his senses must be trained on the hunt. If he is sidetracked, the prey goes free and his family goes hungry.
Women on the other hand, have this natural multitasking ability. This is good as well, because it allows them to cook meals, tend children, and. talk on the phone. It allows them to listen for the baby while doing the laundry. If the woman did not have this ability, something would perish, either food would get burnt or children would die.
The sexes however seem to have forgotten the symbiotic relationship that existed successfully between men and woman for eons. Now there are women who complain that men are not emotional enough, and men who complain that women are too emotional. They seem to have forgotten than each has a role to play, and cannot expect the other to fulfill a role designed for the opposite sex.
Men DO.
Women TALK.
That's the way.
Grissom knew this from his years of study and teaching and living as an outsider: free to watch from an objective vantage point because of his choice of non-involvement. But all the women who came through his life did not know this, and didn't seem interested in this theory. They wanted more than Grissom could biologically give them. His frustration level hit a max and he closed off completely from the outside world, only interacting in as much as was required by his job.
But Sara was there.
Every single day, she was there.
Tempting him.
Taunting him.
Smiling at him.
Brushing up against him.
Standing so close to him he could see the tiny lines in her skin.
And smell her. Oh the sweet, pungent scent that was Sara's alone.
Intoxicating him with her distinct pheromone induced aroma.
Sometimes it was so powerful, he actually sometimes felt drunk; he couldn't think properly, walking into people, words not making it to the mouth leaving him gap-jawed. He hated it. This lack of control.
And yet, she seemed to be the only person who hasn't walked away in confusion or abandon. She stayed. Even when he treated her like dirt, she stayed. Why? It was just a plant. When he thought about it later, he realized how insensitive it had been. But she had stayed. He had given a little and she had stayed.
But that little had come from a brow-beating by Catherine. It had taken someone else to hypothetically slap him in the face before he did something. There won't always be someone to tell him what to do. He would have to figure it out on his own.
And he was scared.
What if.?
There was a step to be taken. A step toward independence and toward interdependence. With Sara. He needed to tear down the walls. Pink Floyd. The Wall. The man had died behind those walls in the end. It was very painful when they came down. He didn't want it to get to that point. He had used that album as a teacher of sorts, learning how to hide from the world. Now he needed it to show him the possible consequences if he kept the walls up. He had forgotten about the end. Now he remembered. He had died. Gone insane. He needed to use it to tear down the walls before it was too late. He needed to let Sara in. He needed the companionship. The spiders and roaches just weren't doing it anymore for him. The conversations had become dull. He enjoyed the friendly bantering between Sara and he. It never got personal. They really didn't know much about each other, he realized with a jolt. They knew each others' personal thoughts on cases and the perpetrators, and on the general ills of society. But, throughout their relationship, the conversations never strayed into more personal territory. It seemed to be an unconscious decision on both their parts to keep in at a safe level. He was ready for more. He needed to take that leap of faith. To jump without looking down. He needed her in his life.
He didn't realize it until he was at home and he was alone. His home was suffocating in its emptiness. He had thought about calling her many occasions, but his fear and the walls had kept him back.
He chose a path among the forks in the road. He didn't know where it would lead, but sometimes that can be fun, to learn while exploring. The crossroads were behind him now. Only one path lay ahead of him. He picked up the phone and dialed a number that had imbedded itself into his memory.
"Sidle.", came her curt voice. It was a strong voice. She was a strong woman. She held her own where ever she found herself. She had spirit. A bold, unyielding spirit. And yet her heart was so big, he was afraid she would get lost in it. Her spirit, that which held her strong in many circumstances was not as strong as her heart. Her heart dominated her actions. It gave strength to her spirit. He loved that about her.
"Sara.", he said quietly, the fear still holding on.
"Grissom? What's up?" she asked, curiosity colouring her words. He knew she was curious. He rarely called her, preferring to keep their conversations on a spontaneous level at work, never bringing them home. It was too personal. Now he was asking her to come in to his home, his soul.
"Nothing much. I was wondering if you'd like to meet me for coffee somewhere?"
"You need to talk about a case? I thought they were all solved today?"
"Yeah, they are.", he paused. His heart was pounding in his chest. He could barely hear her over the rush of blood in his ears. He was so hoping his hearing wouldn't cut out over the phone. "Hmm. I just wanted to go for coffee. with a friend. You."
"Grissom? Is there something wrong? Did something happen?", she said, with more than a hint of concern.
"No Sara. Nothing's wrong. Everything's good. It's really good in fact. But I would much rather continue this conversation in person. Can we meet at the coffee shop?"
There was a pause on the other end. Grissom could imagine her face screwing up in confused interest as she pondered this strange request. "Yeah. I'll be there in a half hour.", she finished.
"Great! I'll see you then!"
"Yeah. Okay." And she hung up.
Grissom walked around his condo with a perma-grin stuck to his face. He didn't realize he was smiling until he saw his face in the bathroom mirror as he went to shave. The smile faded as he regarded his image. Smiling. He was smiling. Geez, he looked like a goofy! But he couldn't help it, and the smile returned accompanied by a little giggle as he prepared to meet Sara for coffee. Off hours.
********************************************
Sara sat in the coffee shop, waiting for Grissom. She had been about to go to bed, but something made her accept his offer and now she found herself waiting for him. It had been five minutes already, and a half a coffee later. She was beginning to wonder if he would show. The curiosity about this little rendezvous was excruciating. As an investigator at heart, any mystery usually proved too good to walk away from. And this was definitely a mystery to her. Why would Grissom want to socialize on his time off? Wouldn't he prefer to be with his bugs instead? She was staring so intently at a spot on the wall, lost in her musings that she missed when he walked in and she jumped as he sat in front of her, blocking her sight. Away from the office, he looked different. More at ease. His face was softer, his shoulders weren't so hunched. His eyes, those deep rich blue eyes shone brighter than they did at work. Maybe it was the lighting, she thought.
"So. To what do I owe this uncommon pleasure of your company off hours?", she dove in directly.
He stared at her, smiled and said nothing. Just smiled at her. She returned the smile, though not as enthusiastic as his. She was still left in the dark as to his reasons.
"Ohh. just because.", he said as he ordered his coffee with the waitress.
Sara nodded her head once, not understanding at all. She stared at him waiting for him to continue. He sipped his coffee slowly, closing his eyes and enjoying the taste. Sara had never seen him close his eyes while drinking coffee, she realized. It was simply a step in their living, like breathing. You just did it. But he seemed to be right relishing the experience. She was growing impatient. She sat back and eyed him.
"Sara.", he started. Those walls were going to come down, one brick at a time. "I've made a decision."
Sara rose one eyebrow, interested now, yet not really knowing if she wanted to hear the rest. "Yes?"
"I'd like to have coffee with you more often."
Now both her eyebrows rose. "Oh?"
"Yep. I do."
Sara considered this a moment. "Why?"
"Because, I like you.", he started saying. He paused a moment to gauge her reaction. "A lot.", he added. "And I don't think we spend enough time together, just you and I. I'd like to rectify that. Immediately. What do you say?"
Sara stared at him. What was he talking about? They spend plenty of time together. There were many cases they did together, talking in the Tahoe, at the scene, at CSI. What did he mean? Grissom could read the confusion in her eyes. He wasn't surprised. He wasn't very good at speaking his heart. Besides, it wasn't in his bio- gender nature. But he needed to try, at least.
"You want to spend more time together?", she asked, for clarification.
"Yes."
"Because you like me."
"Yes."
"Well, I like you too Grissom." She said matter of factly.
He smiled at that. It was cute, he thought. He leaned into the table, and looked at her in the eye. "Sara. I like you a lot. And I would like for us to get to know each other better. See?"
Sara was quiet again. Maybe she didn't feel the same way, he thought suddenly. He was about ready to back away, when that little voice inside his head came up and told him he had to push through if he wanted this. The last few steps of a big excursion, whether a mountain of snow or a personal wall destruction were usually the hardest. He needed to get through this hurdle. And after that, it was clear sailing. He took a chance. He placed his hand on top of hers. "Since I met you.", he said quietly.
She cocked her head to one side, not really understanding him at all anymore.
He smiled. "At the hockey rink. You asked me when I became interested in beauty. Remember?"
She nodded, her eyes telling him she really did.
"I told you since I met you. It was the truth. It came out before I could stop it. I don't regret saying it. Because it's the truth, Sara. Since I met you, nothing's been the same in my life. I want to see what can happen if we did something about this."
Sara was speechless. No words formed in her head, much less her lips. Her mind was a jumble of emotions: fear, surprise, hope, fear. He was asking her what she had been hoping for such a long time. Here she was, face to face with it, and she was backing down? She looked down at their hands. His hand on hers was hot. It felt so good, her mind told her. Yes, it did. She began to wonder if the rest of his body was as hot. Right now. She looked up and encountered those blue eyes, only now they seemed even more intensely blue. Was it her imagination? He was taking the leap, she realized. She had to meet him half way.
"Yes.", she said.
Grissom blinked. His hand jerked slightly under hers. His mouth opened ever so slightly. He moved his head to one side a bit and looked at her. "What did you say?", he asked quietly.
"Yes, Grissom. I want to see what can happen between us."
He took a big deep breath and smiled. A smile like she had never seen before, so big, so goofy, so real. His eyes twinkled and became even more shinier with unshed tears. He was so happy.
AUTHOR: Anansay
RATING: PG-13
KEYWORDS: Grissom, Sara, GSR, RST of a sort
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: another GSR. Grissom makes a choice. Will Sara accept?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters. I've just borrowed them. I like to have with them and see what they'll do. (
CROSSROADS By Anansay December 2, 2002
Crossroads.
Decisions.
Binary logic, really.
Yay or nay.
Black or white.
Life or death.
His relationships had never worked out. People just couldn't seem to understand him. He was an enigma. Men have this aptitude of unidirectional thought processes. When they would become absorbed with an activity, it precluded all other interaction, except for the man and the business at hand. It was a good ability have as a matter of fact, though many women fail to see its relevance. Historically speaking, if a man is hunting, all of his senses must be trained on the hunt. If he is sidetracked, the prey goes free and his family goes hungry.
Women on the other hand, have this natural multitasking ability. This is good as well, because it allows them to cook meals, tend children, and. talk on the phone. It allows them to listen for the baby while doing the laundry. If the woman did not have this ability, something would perish, either food would get burnt or children would die.
The sexes however seem to have forgotten the symbiotic relationship that existed successfully between men and woman for eons. Now there are women who complain that men are not emotional enough, and men who complain that women are too emotional. They seem to have forgotten than each has a role to play, and cannot expect the other to fulfill a role designed for the opposite sex.
Men DO.
Women TALK.
That's the way.
Grissom knew this from his years of study and teaching and living as an outsider: free to watch from an objective vantage point because of his choice of non-involvement. But all the women who came through his life did not know this, and didn't seem interested in this theory. They wanted more than Grissom could biologically give them. His frustration level hit a max and he closed off completely from the outside world, only interacting in as much as was required by his job.
But Sara was there.
Every single day, she was there.
Tempting him.
Taunting him.
Smiling at him.
Brushing up against him.
Standing so close to him he could see the tiny lines in her skin.
And smell her. Oh the sweet, pungent scent that was Sara's alone.
Intoxicating him with her distinct pheromone induced aroma.
Sometimes it was so powerful, he actually sometimes felt drunk; he couldn't think properly, walking into people, words not making it to the mouth leaving him gap-jawed. He hated it. This lack of control.
And yet, she seemed to be the only person who hasn't walked away in confusion or abandon. She stayed. Even when he treated her like dirt, she stayed. Why? It was just a plant. When he thought about it later, he realized how insensitive it had been. But she had stayed. He had given a little and she had stayed.
But that little had come from a brow-beating by Catherine. It had taken someone else to hypothetically slap him in the face before he did something. There won't always be someone to tell him what to do. He would have to figure it out on his own.
And he was scared.
What if.?
There was a step to be taken. A step toward independence and toward interdependence. With Sara. He needed to tear down the walls. Pink Floyd. The Wall. The man had died behind those walls in the end. It was very painful when they came down. He didn't want it to get to that point. He had used that album as a teacher of sorts, learning how to hide from the world. Now he needed it to show him the possible consequences if he kept the walls up. He had forgotten about the end. Now he remembered. He had died. Gone insane. He needed to use it to tear down the walls before it was too late. He needed to let Sara in. He needed the companionship. The spiders and roaches just weren't doing it anymore for him. The conversations had become dull. He enjoyed the friendly bantering between Sara and he. It never got personal. They really didn't know much about each other, he realized with a jolt. They knew each others' personal thoughts on cases and the perpetrators, and on the general ills of society. But, throughout their relationship, the conversations never strayed into more personal territory. It seemed to be an unconscious decision on both their parts to keep in at a safe level. He was ready for more. He needed to take that leap of faith. To jump without looking down. He needed her in his life.
He didn't realize it until he was at home and he was alone. His home was suffocating in its emptiness. He had thought about calling her many occasions, but his fear and the walls had kept him back.
He chose a path among the forks in the road. He didn't know where it would lead, but sometimes that can be fun, to learn while exploring. The crossroads were behind him now. Only one path lay ahead of him. He picked up the phone and dialed a number that had imbedded itself into his memory.
"Sidle.", came her curt voice. It was a strong voice. She was a strong woman. She held her own where ever she found herself. She had spirit. A bold, unyielding spirit. And yet her heart was so big, he was afraid she would get lost in it. Her spirit, that which held her strong in many circumstances was not as strong as her heart. Her heart dominated her actions. It gave strength to her spirit. He loved that about her.
"Sara.", he said quietly, the fear still holding on.
"Grissom? What's up?" she asked, curiosity colouring her words. He knew she was curious. He rarely called her, preferring to keep their conversations on a spontaneous level at work, never bringing them home. It was too personal. Now he was asking her to come in to his home, his soul.
"Nothing much. I was wondering if you'd like to meet me for coffee somewhere?"
"You need to talk about a case? I thought they were all solved today?"
"Yeah, they are.", he paused. His heart was pounding in his chest. He could barely hear her over the rush of blood in his ears. He was so hoping his hearing wouldn't cut out over the phone. "Hmm. I just wanted to go for coffee. with a friend. You."
"Grissom? Is there something wrong? Did something happen?", she said, with more than a hint of concern.
"No Sara. Nothing's wrong. Everything's good. It's really good in fact. But I would much rather continue this conversation in person. Can we meet at the coffee shop?"
There was a pause on the other end. Grissom could imagine her face screwing up in confused interest as she pondered this strange request. "Yeah. I'll be there in a half hour.", she finished.
"Great! I'll see you then!"
"Yeah. Okay." And she hung up.
Grissom walked around his condo with a perma-grin stuck to his face. He didn't realize he was smiling until he saw his face in the bathroom mirror as he went to shave. The smile faded as he regarded his image. Smiling. He was smiling. Geez, he looked like a goofy! But he couldn't help it, and the smile returned accompanied by a little giggle as he prepared to meet Sara for coffee. Off hours.
********************************************
Sara sat in the coffee shop, waiting for Grissom. She had been about to go to bed, but something made her accept his offer and now she found herself waiting for him. It had been five minutes already, and a half a coffee later. She was beginning to wonder if he would show. The curiosity about this little rendezvous was excruciating. As an investigator at heart, any mystery usually proved too good to walk away from. And this was definitely a mystery to her. Why would Grissom want to socialize on his time off? Wouldn't he prefer to be with his bugs instead? She was staring so intently at a spot on the wall, lost in her musings that she missed when he walked in and she jumped as he sat in front of her, blocking her sight. Away from the office, he looked different. More at ease. His face was softer, his shoulders weren't so hunched. His eyes, those deep rich blue eyes shone brighter than they did at work. Maybe it was the lighting, she thought.
"So. To what do I owe this uncommon pleasure of your company off hours?", she dove in directly.
He stared at her, smiled and said nothing. Just smiled at her. She returned the smile, though not as enthusiastic as his. She was still left in the dark as to his reasons.
"Ohh. just because.", he said as he ordered his coffee with the waitress.
Sara nodded her head once, not understanding at all. She stared at him waiting for him to continue. He sipped his coffee slowly, closing his eyes and enjoying the taste. Sara had never seen him close his eyes while drinking coffee, she realized. It was simply a step in their living, like breathing. You just did it. But he seemed to be right relishing the experience. She was growing impatient. She sat back and eyed him.
"Sara.", he started. Those walls were going to come down, one brick at a time. "I've made a decision."
Sara rose one eyebrow, interested now, yet not really knowing if she wanted to hear the rest. "Yes?"
"I'd like to have coffee with you more often."
Now both her eyebrows rose. "Oh?"
"Yep. I do."
Sara considered this a moment. "Why?"
"Because, I like you.", he started saying. He paused a moment to gauge her reaction. "A lot.", he added. "And I don't think we spend enough time together, just you and I. I'd like to rectify that. Immediately. What do you say?"
Sara stared at him. What was he talking about? They spend plenty of time together. There were many cases they did together, talking in the Tahoe, at the scene, at CSI. What did he mean? Grissom could read the confusion in her eyes. He wasn't surprised. He wasn't very good at speaking his heart. Besides, it wasn't in his bio- gender nature. But he needed to try, at least.
"You want to spend more time together?", she asked, for clarification.
"Yes."
"Because you like me."
"Yes."
"Well, I like you too Grissom." She said matter of factly.
He smiled at that. It was cute, he thought. He leaned into the table, and looked at her in the eye. "Sara. I like you a lot. And I would like for us to get to know each other better. See?"
Sara was quiet again. Maybe she didn't feel the same way, he thought suddenly. He was about ready to back away, when that little voice inside his head came up and told him he had to push through if he wanted this. The last few steps of a big excursion, whether a mountain of snow or a personal wall destruction were usually the hardest. He needed to get through this hurdle. And after that, it was clear sailing. He took a chance. He placed his hand on top of hers. "Since I met you.", he said quietly.
She cocked her head to one side, not really understanding him at all anymore.
He smiled. "At the hockey rink. You asked me when I became interested in beauty. Remember?"
She nodded, her eyes telling him she really did.
"I told you since I met you. It was the truth. It came out before I could stop it. I don't regret saying it. Because it's the truth, Sara. Since I met you, nothing's been the same in my life. I want to see what can happen if we did something about this."
Sara was speechless. No words formed in her head, much less her lips. Her mind was a jumble of emotions: fear, surprise, hope, fear. He was asking her what she had been hoping for such a long time. Here she was, face to face with it, and she was backing down? She looked down at their hands. His hand on hers was hot. It felt so good, her mind told her. Yes, it did. She began to wonder if the rest of his body was as hot. Right now. She looked up and encountered those blue eyes, only now they seemed even more intensely blue. Was it her imagination? He was taking the leap, she realized. She had to meet him half way.
"Yes.", she said.
Grissom blinked. His hand jerked slightly under hers. His mouth opened ever so slightly. He moved his head to one side a bit and looked at her. "What did you say?", he asked quietly.
"Yes, Grissom. I want to see what can happen between us."
He took a big deep breath and smiled. A smile like she had never seen before, so big, so goofy, so real. His eyes twinkled and became even more shinier with unshed tears. He was so happy.