Like an Eva gone berserk.
Deep in the bowels of the Geofront, great evil stirred in the perpetual florescent night.
"No, Doctor, not tonight. . I have a
headache," Gendo muttered, closing his eyes and trying to drift away
from Ritsuko's arms into Yui's waiting embrace in dreamland. He
twitched in her arms, as if uncomfortable with the idea of just who it
was he was sleeping with.
"Ah, don't worry lover, Science has a way"
Ritsuko cooed gently, her icy cold hands reaching over to caress his
trim beard.
"What do you have in mind?" Gendo asked,
curious despite himself as Ritsuko got up from their love-bed, kneeling
over the nightstand. Ritsuko hummed happily as she pulled out what
looked like an intravenous drip bag attached to a syringe out of a
drawer.
"You never have to worry about performance
issues again, love," Ritsuko gently whispered in his ears as she leaned
over him, her firm pale breasts almost luminous in the dim light. Her
hands were holding that evil looking contraption.
"I demand you tell me what you plan to do !"
Gendo said, alarmed.
"Commander, the device is harmless. It's merely
for forced induction of liquefied Phenyloxiacetylene into the regional
vascular system," Ritsuko said as she focused her attention where her
mother used to focus many years ago.
"Doctor, I refuse to allow you to inject viagra
into my bloodstream." Gendo said as authoritatively as he could, trying
to hide his fear, trying to ignore the way Ritsuko's body felt against
him.
Ritsuko was having none of it. "Oh don't worry,
you'll just feel a little prick. And the doctor promises to kiss it and
make it better."
**********
"What was that?" Maya asked, alarmed at the
inhuman howl of pain that reverberated throughout the Geofront.
"It sounded like an Eva going berserk! Quick,
check the hangar bays!" Misato shouted.
Authors Notes: I originally wrote this on the evafics.org boards as a
joke. I was tired after work, and I just went through another surge of
Gundam Wing crossovers and self-insert fics (not the good kind). So I
went around thinking of what other blasphemous abominations the fandom
could come with, and I came up with this, as well as that infamous
Pokemon fusion/crossover. Just wanting to prove that anything can be
written as long as it's done well, i suppose.