Rain drummed heavily against the windows of the Unseen University. Ridcully sat in an armchair, reading a book, when he heard a pounding on the door. Sighing, he got up slowly and opened it, to see a middle-aged woman wrapped in a heavy shawl.
"Uh, can I help you?" he asked, and the woman barged past Ridcully, making her way over to a chair by the fireplace. Finally satisfied, she looked up.
"My name is Miss Butts," she said, with a tone of voice that suggested she meant serious business. "I am the headmistress of the Quirm College for Young Ladies. I understand you know how to capture even the most powerful entities, such as Death, am I right?" Ridcully nodded obediently. Something about this woman made him feel like he would get a detention if he wasn't good. Miss Buts smiled coldly and continued. "I need your help with destroying an ex-student of mine. She has become a danger to the school, and I feel it is in the best interest of my pupils that I have her removed as quickly as possible. Can you help me with that?" This time, Ridcully did not back down, but glared down at Miss Butts.
"The university does not deal with killing," he sneered, sensing that this woman was bad news. "Now, please leave at once." Miss Butts stood up haughtily, and made her way to the door, but on the way out she noticed a young man sitting on a bench, buried in his books. She walked over to him, and prodded him on the shoulder. His head jerked up, and he looked up at her in puzzlement.
"Are you a student here?" she asked. And the boy nodded.
"Yes, miss. My name's Ponder Stibbons, miss." Miss Butts smiled evilly.
"Well, I need your help. Please come with me." She walked up the university stairs, and Ponder obediently followed, unaware of the danger he was about to invoke on the entire Discworld.
Imp rode through the sky, holding a small glass ball in his hand. It glowed a vibrant blue and purple as he spoke into it.
"Can you hear me, Susan?" A voice replied from the ball, and Binky jumped slightly in surprise, then cantered on.
"Yes, I can hear you perfectly. Remember, I'm safe in grandfather's house, but if anything goes wrong, the ball will turn red. If that happens, get back here as fast as you can, okay?" Imp smiled as he looked down at the small communication ball.
"Okay," he replied, and put the ball carefully in his pocket, riding into the night.
Far below Imp, Susan gazed up at the plain, featureless sky of Death's world.
"Good luck Imp," she sighed, swinging absent-mindedly on her distorted swing. "Look after him, Binky," she added, and stood up. She observed the garden with nostalgic eyes. Once she had left, she had sort of missed all this. Looking down at the skeletal fish that swan in the pond, she realised that this place was closer to home that anything. All her life, she felt as if she was an alien in her world, like she belonged somewhere else. As a young child, when she visited her grandfather, she was happy. It felt...right. Now, looking around in the world of Death, she couldn't have felt more normal. This was the kind of place she needed to feel happy. She looked at the ball in her hand, and held it close to her chest, turning to walk back inside.
Binky landed silently on the grass outside the Quirm College, and Imp hopped off his back, looking around. He understood why Susan would leave, he thought to himself. The place was dull and uninteresting, with clean, grey, plain stone walls, and simple, grey carpets could be seen through the empty, curtain-less windows. He climbed through one of the windows, and silently moved through the empty corridors.
"Susan, are you still there?" he whispered to the ball, which glowed, different shades of blue swirling calmly around its surface.
"Yes, I can hear you," Susan's voice replied from the depths of the ball. "Where are you?"
"I'm inside the college. I'm standing by the cafeteria. Where would Miss Butts be?"
"Up the stairs in front of you, there is a door straight ahead. That's her dorm."
"Okay, thanks. I'll be back as soon as I've found out what she's doing." Imp dropped the glass ball back into his pocket, and slowly crept up the stairs. Just as Susan said, there was a large oak door at the top. Imp opened the door warily, then cursed to himself as he saw the room was empty. He paced around the room in frustration, desperately trying to think where she might be, then stopped as his eyes fell upon a small piece of paper stuck to the mirror on the dressing table. He reached over and took the paper from the mirror, smiling to himself as he read it. It said,
'To maids: Won't be around for a few days, don't worry about cleaning the room, already done. Gone to Unseen University, back soon as possible.
- Miss Butts'
Imp ran back out the room, taking the paper with him. He reached the foot of the stairs, when a large woman grabbed him by the arm, ramming him against the wall.
"What d'yer think you're doing, young man?" she sneered, her breath smelling of rancid tuna and dustbins. "This is a girls' college, and you're trespassing, so I'm gonna have to send for the Watch to come and take yer away, understand?" Imp could do nothing but agree, as the woman forced him into a closet. She shut the door, then opened it again. She grabbed both his arms in one huge hand, then other hand searching his pockets. She grinned as she pulled the ball from his pocket.
"I saw ya using this earlier," she laughed, smiling mockingly. "I'm gonna take it, just so yer don't call fer help or anything." She shut the door again and bolted it tightly, laughing to herself as she walked out of the front door.
"Uh, can I help you?" he asked, and the woman barged past Ridcully, making her way over to a chair by the fireplace. Finally satisfied, she looked up.
"My name is Miss Butts," she said, with a tone of voice that suggested she meant serious business. "I am the headmistress of the Quirm College for Young Ladies. I understand you know how to capture even the most powerful entities, such as Death, am I right?" Ridcully nodded obediently. Something about this woman made him feel like he would get a detention if he wasn't good. Miss Buts smiled coldly and continued. "I need your help with destroying an ex-student of mine. She has become a danger to the school, and I feel it is in the best interest of my pupils that I have her removed as quickly as possible. Can you help me with that?" This time, Ridcully did not back down, but glared down at Miss Butts.
"The university does not deal with killing," he sneered, sensing that this woman was bad news. "Now, please leave at once." Miss Butts stood up haughtily, and made her way to the door, but on the way out she noticed a young man sitting on a bench, buried in his books. She walked over to him, and prodded him on the shoulder. His head jerked up, and he looked up at her in puzzlement.
"Are you a student here?" she asked. And the boy nodded.
"Yes, miss. My name's Ponder Stibbons, miss." Miss Butts smiled evilly.
"Well, I need your help. Please come with me." She walked up the university stairs, and Ponder obediently followed, unaware of the danger he was about to invoke on the entire Discworld.
Imp rode through the sky, holding a small glass ball in his hand. It glowed a vibrant blue and purple as he spoke into it.
"Can you hear me, Susan?" A voice replied from the ball, and Binky jumped slightly in surprise, then cantered on.
"Yes, I can hear you perfectly. Remember, I'm safe in grandfather's house, but if anything goes wrong, the ball will turn red. If that happens, get back here as fast as you can, okay?" Imp smiled as he looked down at the small communication ball.
"Okay," he replied, and put the ball carefully in his pocket, riding into the night.
Far below Imp, Susan gazed up at the plain, featureless sky of Death's world.
"Good luck Imp," she sighed, swinging absent-mindedly on her distorted swing. "Look after him, Binky," she added, and stood up. She observed the garden with nostalgic eyes. Once she had left, she had sort of missed all this. Looking down at the skeletal fish that swan in the pond, she realised that this place was closer to home that anything. All her life, she felt as if she was an alien in her world, like she belonged somewhere else. As a young child, when she visited her grandfather, she was happy. It felt...right. Now, looking around in the world of Death, she couldn't have felt more normal. This was the kind of place she needed to feel happy. She looked at the ball in her hand, and held it close to her chest, turning to walk back inside.
Binky landed silently on the grass outside the Quirm College, and Imp hopped off his back, looking around. He understood why Susan would leave, he thought to himself. The place was dull and uninteresting, with clean, grey, plain stone walls, and simple, grey carpets could be seen through the empty, curtain-less windows. He climbed through one of the windows, and silently moved through the empty corridors.
"Susan, are you still there?" he whispered to the ball, which glowed, different shades of blue swirling calmly around its surface.
"Yes, I can hear you," Susan's voice replied from the depths of the ball. "Where are you?"
"I'm inside the college. I'm standing by the cafeteria. Where would Miss Butts be?"
"Up the stairs in front of you, there is a door straight ahead. That's her dorm."
"Okay, thanks. I'll be back as soon as I've found out what she's doing." Imp dropped the glass ball back into his pocket, and slowly crept up the stairs. Just as Susan said, there was a large oak door at the top. Imp opened the door warily, then cursed to himself as he saw the room was empty. He paced around the room in frustration, desperately trying to think where she might be, then stopped as his eyes fell upon a small piece of paper stuck to the mirror on the dressing table. He reached over and took the paper from the mirror, smiling to himself as he read it. It said,
'To maids: Won't be around for a few days, don't worry about cleaning the room, already done. Gone to Unseen University, back soon as possible.
- Miss Butts'
Imp ran back out the room, taking the paper with him. He reached the foot of the stairs, when a large woman grabbed him by the arm, ramming him against the wall.
"What d'yer think you're doing, young man?" she sneered, her breath smelling of rancid tuna and dustbins. "This is a girls' college, and you're trespassing, so I'm gonna have to send for the Watch to come and take yer away, understand?" Imp could do nothing but agree, as the woman forced him into a closet. She shut the door, then opened it again. She grabbed both his arms in one huge hand, then other hand searching his pockets. She grinned as she pulled the ball from his pocket.
"I saw ya using this earlier," she laughed, smiling mockingly. "I'm gonna take it, just so yer don't call fer help or anything." She shut the door again and bolted it tightly, laughing to herself as she walked out of the front door.