Nov 2002
Disclaimer 1: It all (SW) belong to Lucasfilm, I don't own it.
Disclaimer 2: The song is by Martina McBride and I don't own that either :P I removed one line "It happens to alot of men" because it didn't fit in the context of the story.
Part 5
*After all my heart had put me though, I knew that it was safe with you, What we had would never end.*
Padmé checked the tension on the binders holding her wrists together as the Geonosian chained them to a side of the hover cart. Anakin wasn't inside yet, though he was standing just beyond her vision waiting to be tied up the same as she. She could feel his gaze on her, those blue eyes watching her movements and cataloguing them. Her heart jumped into her throat as he was escorted to stand next to her, not touching, just out of reach, as he'd been since their discussion at the Lake retreat. He was honoring her wishes and she hated him for it. She didn't want a distant stranger; she wanted the warm, loving young man she'd seen at her parent's house. The show off who'd tried to ride a shaak and played with her fruit when he knew it would have gotten him in trouble if his Master had been around. She wanted the rogue and rebel her heart had first fallen for.
She wanted everything he promised every time he looked at her; the passion and abandonment. She wanted him to look at her, to tease her, like he had before her rationalization of their relationship. She wanted it both ways and knew it could never happen. Their lives were about to be cut short, to be destroyed by an event they'd tried to avoid. Caught and chained like animals, they were going to be executed. Executed for espionage, for trespassing. Most of all executed for being in the wrong place at the right time.
She'd never have the chance to feel his arms around her again, to feel his lips on hers. She'd never be able to tell him how she felt. She stopped there as Anakin was secured in the sled with her. She didn't want to die, but then, she wasn't truly living. She hadn't been since the day he'd walked back into her life with his promises of protection. She'd been a whole person, never realizing what was missing from her life before he returned. And now...
"Don't be afraid."
She looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears, a part of her marveling at his composure. "I'm not afraid to die." His eyes held an almost proud expression for her courage and she hated to have to disillusion him. It wasn't courage that made her unafraid of death; it was the slow, torturous death her soul had been going through since his return. Her spirit was already dying, the death of her body would simply speed the process along. "I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life."
"What are you talking about?"
She could tell she'd confused him with her soft truth, but was resolved. She had one chance, this chance, to tell him how she truly felt. It was now, or never. She almost smiled. He truly had no idea what she was speaking about. He had no idea the feelings she felt for him. And a part of her cried. Was she so good an actress he hadn't realize her feelings for him? "I love you."
"You love me?"
She watched the emotions flicker across his expressive features. Longing, hope, disbelief, amazement and so many others. Mostly, she saw shock. Whatever he'd expected her to say, it hadn't been a declaration of love. Her heart swelled, overflowing, as she watched him. She wanted nothing more than to be held by him at that moment, to hold him in return and assure him that what she was saying was true. He searched her eyes, obviously seeing something he couldn't comprehend as he turned his face away, fighting against the impact of her words. She saw him inhale sharply and knew he'd accepted her decision so completely, that her abrupt change of heart was throwing him for a loop.
"I thought that we had decided not to fall in love." His gaze came back to hers and she saw his inner struggle. He was fighting against her words, now and previously spoken, trying to rationalize, to find some kind of balance. He was fighting against wanting to believe her and not believing her; doubting his senses as to her words. "That we would be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.
She held his gaze, her own serious, "I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway." She saw his almost imperceptible nod; he knew as well as she did that there was a good chance both of them were about to die. She couldn't let him go on believing she cared nothing for him. She looked deeply into his eyes, her own completely open and honest for the first time since their reunion. And she spoke from her heart, not caring if she sounded strange. "I truly, deeply, love you. And before we die I wanted you to know." She moved her head towards his, a silent invitation for him to kiss her. She wanted this. Wanted him, for as long as she could have him.
Anakin's head dipped towards her, meeting her lips halfway in a soul- stealing kiss. She almost cried as his lips met hers in a gentle, bittersweet kiss that conveyed everything he'd been feeling, everything he felt, for her. She held nothing back, putting her longing and love into the kiss, tugging on the chains unconsciously as she fought to hold him. Just once. One more time before they died she wanted to feel his arms around her.
But it wasn't to be. The cart began to move and Anakin slowly pulled away, his blue eyes speaking of love and promise as they traveled from the dark tunnels into a huge arena. Padmé squinted, looking around in awe as she fought to clear her head. Her gaze settled on four enormous pillars on the far side of the area. Their killing field. She forcefully cleared her head. They could try and kill her, but she wasn't going to give up on what she'd found without a fight. Anakin was worth fighting for.
Padmé turned from the platform where the clone troopers continued to shoot at the ship in which Dooku was escaping. She ran into the hangar, heedless of the consequences and what she might find. Dooku had escaped. Could Anakin be... was he... she forced herself not to think of it as she blinked back tears. Anakin couldn't be dead, not when they'd come this far. He couldn't be! She raced into the main hangar to find him getting up off the floor, his right arm missing just above the elbow. Relief flooded through her, pounding through her system like a Nabooian waterfall. He was alive! "Anakin!" she got his attention as she sprinted across the hangar, barely registering the fact that Obi-Wan and Master Yoda were in the room. She went straight to him, noticing the pained look on his face, the disillusionment, yet none of that really mattered. They were both alive. They'd lived through something both of them should never have escaped.
Her left hand snaked around his neck, dragging it down as she stood on tip- toe. She looked him straight in the eyes, seeing his shock, and her own filled with tears. "Anakin," she whispered softly.
"Padmé. I thought I'd lost you." His voice was a whisper, one she barely caught.
They stared at each other for a half a moment, as if reaffirming that the other was indeed alright, Padmé feeling the urge to kiss him. She couldn't, she knew that, whatever they had, were to have, would have to be kept a secret. With Master Yoda and Obi-Wan around, she had to settle for this. She tugged him down further, wrapping her arm around his neck and holding him tightly. He was alive. He was injured, but alive. His left arm slid around her middle, holding her close, his head tucked into the curve of her neck. She thought she felt moisture on her shoulder, yet couldn't be sure. Her grip didn't lessen as he seemed to deflate, holding onto her for support, the tightness of his grip betraying the fear he'd felt. He'd almost been taken from her; he'd almost died when he'd found the one person worth living for loved him in return.
Padmé closed her eyes, holding him as tightly as he held her, and relishing the feel of his body heavy against hers. It made her feel alive, whole, to be held by him. Someone cleared their throat, and she barely noticed it. Slowly, she pulled back, Anakin straightening slightly as he turned to look. His face was a mixture of relief and pain, with something darker lurking in his eyes as she watched.
Obi-Wan was being helped out of the hangar by a pair of clones, Master Yoda walking along side them. Neither looked their way, but Padmé had a feeling it had been Obi-Wan who's gotten their attention. She looked back to Anakin, seeing his pained expression as he took a step. She held him back. "The techs will come to help you, they know we're here."
Anakin stopped, his face pale as he looked down at his right arm. What was left of his right arm. Padmé lifted her hand and gently cupped his face, drawing his gaze back to hers. They were safe. "It doesn't matter, I still love you," she told him softly, tears pooling in her eyes. The Jedi were gone from the hangar, leaving only two troopers guarding the entrance, and she stepped back into his embrace. "We're going to be alright."
Anakin held her again, his grip almost bruising. "Thank you." His words were choked, pained. Padmé allowed the blaster to slip from her fingers and fall on the deck. Wrapping both arms around him, they held each other tightly until the medical techs showed up. They were safe; they'd lived through one of the largest battles the republic had ever seen and they were together. That was all that mattered.
Padmé stared at the young man standing directly opposite from her in front of the Naboo holy man. They'd spoken their vows, exchanged their promises. Her heart was racing as his left hand reached out and she gladly took it, feeling the dampness of his palm; he was just as nervous as she. Slowly, as if on impulse, his right hand extended towards her and she gently accepted it, sliding her fingers into his carefully. The mechanical hand was new, replacing his lost limb, but she didn't care. Anakin was still Anakin, regardless of the replacement part. She stepped towards him and he met her in the middle, angling her head. Her heart was pounding quickly against her ribs as Anakin's head came down. She was now his wife; the woman he loved. That thought alone was enough to make her heart swell.
Their lips met, trembling and nervous, as they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. Padmé's heart began to soar as the kiss continued, their lips sliding against one another, making the blood pound through her veins. It ended reluctantly as Anakin pulled away gradually, his forehead resting gently against hers for a half second before he slowly moved back. Their eyes opened and Padmé met his gaze, reading in them the knowledge of what they'd just done. He'd broken his vows to the Jedi order in making the vows to her. They'd committed to a life lived in secret; nobody could know of their marriage.
Slowly, they turned to look out over the lake of the retreat where he'd first kissed her and Padmé couldn't help but feel freed by the step they'd just taken. She'd committed herself to Anakin. Committed herself to the man who looked at her like she was a treasure to be held and coddled. Treated her like she was something special. Never had she known passion like the kind she'd felt in Anakin's touch; his kiss. His eyes spoke volumes. And, as they watched, Anakin lifted his new artificial arm and slid it across her shoulders, pulling her close. Here, in his arms, feeling the love she knew he felt for her, she rested her head on his shoulders and smiled. She was complete. Anakin loved her beyond life and what they had was something special. Secret or no, she truly believe that and it was that magic between them which would ensure their relationship would last.
Disclaimer 2: The song is by Martina McBride and I don't own that either :P I removed one line "It happens to alot of men" because it didn't fit in the context of the story.
Part 5
*After all my heart had put me though, I knew that it was safe with you, What we had would never end.*
Padmé checked the tension on the binders holding her wrists together as the Geonosian chained them to a side of the hover cart. Anakin wasn't inside yet, though he was standing just beyond her vision waiting to be tied up the same as she. She could feel his gaze on her, those blue eyes watching her movements and cataloguing them. Her heart jumped into her throat as he was escorted to stand next to her, not touching, just out of reach, as he'd been since their discussion at the Lake retreat. He was honoring her wishes and she hated him for it. She didn't want a distant stranger; she wanted the warm, loving young man she'd seen at her parent's house. The show off who'd tried to ride a shaak and played with her fruit when he knew it would have gotten him in trouble if his Master had been around. She wanted the rogue and rebel her heart had first fallen for.
She wanted everything he promised every time he looked at her; the passion and abandonment. She wanted him to look at her, to tease her, like he had before her rationalization of their relationship. She wanted it both ways and knew it could never happen. Their lives were about to be cut short, to be destroyed by an event they'd tried to avoid. Caught and chained like animals, they were going to be executed. Executed for espionage, for trespassing. Most of all executed for being in the wrong place at the right time.
She'd never have the chance to feel his arms around her again, to feel his lips on hers. She'd never be able to tell him how she felt. She stopped there as Anakin was secured in the sled with her. She didn't want to die, but then, she wasn't truly living. She hadn't been since the day he'd walked back into her life with his promises of protection. She'd been a whole person, never realizing what was missing from her life before he returned. And now...
"Don't be afraid."
She looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears, a part of her marveling at his composure. "I'm not afraid to die." His eyes held an almost proud expression for her courage and she hated to have to disillusion him. It wasn't courage that made her unafraid of death; it was the slow, torturous death her soul had been going through since his return. Her spirit was already dying, the death of her body would simply speed the process along. "I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life."
"What are you talking about?"
She could tell she'd confused him with her soft truth, but was resolved. She had one chance, this chance, to tell him how she truly felt. It was now, or never. She almost smiled. He truly had no idea what she was speaking about. He had no idea the feelings she felt for him. And a part of her cried. Was she so good an actress he hadn't realize her feelings for him? "I love you."
"You love me?"
She watched the emotions flicker across his expressive features. Longing, hope, disbelief, amazement and so many others. Mostly, she saw shock. Whatever he'd expected her to say, it hadn't been a declaration of love. Her heart swelled, overflowing, as she watched him. She wanted nothing more than to be held by him at that moment, to hold him in return and assure him that what she was saying was true. He searched her eyes, obviously seeing something he couldn't comprehend as he turned his face away, fighting against the impact of her words. She saw him inhale sharply and knew he'd accepted her decision so completely, that her abrupt change of heart was throwing him for a loop.
"I thought that we had decided not to fall in love." His gaze came back to hers and she saw his inner struggle. He was fighting against her words, now and previously spoken, trying to rationalize, to find some kind of balance. He was fighting against wanting to believe her and not believing her; doubting his senses as to her words. "That we would be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.
She held his gaze, her own serious, "I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway." She saw his almost imperceptible nod; he knew as well as she did that there was a good chance both of them were about to die. She couldn't let him go on believing she cared nothing for him. She looked deeply into his eyes, her own completely open and honest for the first time since their reunion. And she spoke from her heart, not caring if she sounded strange. "I truly, deeply, love you. And before we die I wanted you to know." She moved her head towards his, a silent invitation for him to kiss her. She wanted this. Wanted him, for as long as she could have him.
Anakin's head dipped towards her, meeting her lips halfway in a soul- stealing kiss. She almost cried as his lips met hers in a gentle, bittersweet kiss that conveyed everything he'd been feeling, everything he felt, for her. She held nothing back, putting her longing and love into the kiss, tugging on the chains unconsciously as she fought to hold him. Just once. One more time before they died she wanted to feel his arms around her.
But it wasn't to be. The cart began to move and Anakin slowly pulled away, his blue eyes speaking of love and promise as they traveled from the dark tunnels into a huge arena. Padmé squinted, looking around in awe as she fought to clear her head. Her gaze settled on four enormous pillars on the far side of the area. Their killing field. She forcefully cleared her head. They could try and kill her, but she wasn't going to give up on what she'd found without a fight. Anakin was worth fighting for.
Padmé turned from the platform where the clone troopers continued to shoot at the ship in which Dooku was escaping. She ran into the hangar, heedless of the consequences and what she might find. Dooku had escaped. Could Anakin be... was he... she forced herself not to think of it as she blinked back tears. Anakin couldn't be dead, not when they'd come this far. He couldn't be! She raced into the main hangar to find him getting up off the floor, his right arm missing just above the elbow. Relief flooded through her, pounding through her system like a Nabooian waterfall. He was alive! "Anakin!" she got his attention as she sprinted across the hangar, barely registering the fact that Obi-Wan and Master Yoda were in the room. She went straight to him, noticing the pained look on his face, the disillusionment, yet none of that really mattered. They were both alive. They'd lived through something both of them should never have escaped.
Her left hand snaked around his neck, dragging it down as she stood on tip- toe. She looked him straight in the eyes, seeing his shock, and her own filled with tears. "Anakin," she whispered softly.
"Padmé. I thought I'd lost you." His voice was a whisper, one she barely caught.
They stared at each other for a half a moment, as if reaffirming that the other was indeed alright, Padmé feeling the urge to kiss him. She couldn't, she knew that, whatever they had, were to have, would have to be kept a secret. With Master Yoda and Obi-Wan around, she had to settle for this. She tugged him down further, wrapping her arm around his neck and holding him tightly. He was alive. He was injured, but alive. His left arm slid around her middle, holding her close, his head tucked into the curve of her neck. She thought she felt moisture on her shoulder, yet couldn't be sure. Her grip didn't lessen as he seemed to deflate, holding onto her for support, the tightness of his grip betraying the fear he'd felt. He'd almost been taken from her; he'd almost died when he'd found the one person worth living for loved him in return.
Padmé closed her eyes, holding him as tightly as he held her, and relishing the feel of his body heavy against hers. It made her feel alive, whole, to be held by him. Someone cleared their throat, and she barely noticed it. Slowly, she pulled back, Anakin straightening slightly as he turned to look. His face was a mixture of relief and pain, with something darker lurking in his eyes as she watched.
Obi-Wan was being helped out of the hangar by a pair of clones, Master Yoda walking along side them. Neither looked their way, but Padmé had a feeling it had been Obi-Wan who's gotten their attention. She looked back to Anakin, seeing his pained expression as he took a step. She held him back. "The techs will come to help you, they know we're here."
Anakin stopped, his face pale as he looked down at his right arm. What was left of his right arm. Padmé lifted her hand and gently cupped his face, drawing his gaze back to hers. They were safe. "It doesn't matter, I still love you," she told him softly, tears pooling in her eyes. The Jedi were gone from the hangar, leaving only two troopers guarding the entrance, and she stepped back into his embrace. "We're going to be alright."
Anakin held her again, his grip almost bruising. "Thank you." His words were choked, pained. Padmé allowed the blaster to slip from her fingers and fall on the deck. Wrapping both arms around him, they held each other tightly until the medical techs showed up. They were safe; they'd lived through one of the largest battles the republic had ever seen and they were together. That was all that mattered.
Padmé stared at the young man standing directly opposite from her in front of the Naboo holy man. They'd spoken their vows, exchanged their promises. Her heart was racing as his left hand reached out and she gladly took it, feeling the dampness of his palm; he was just as nervous as she. Slowly, as if on impulse, his right hand extended towards her and she gently accepted it, sliding her fingers into his carefully. The mechanical hand was new, replacing his lost limb, but she didn't care. Anakin was still Anakin, regardless of the replacement part. She stepped towards him and he met her in the middle, angling her head. Her heart was pounding quickly against her ribs as Anakin's head came down. She was now his wife; the woman he loved. That thought alone was enough to make her heart swell.
Their lips met, trembling and nervous, as they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. Padmé's heart began to soar as the kiss continued, their lips sliding against one another, making the blood pound through her veins. It ended reluctantly as Anakin pulled away gradually, his forehead resting gently against hers for a half second before he slowly moved back. Their eyes opened and Padmé met his gaze, reading in them the knowledge of what they'd just done. He'd broken his vows to the Jedi order in making the vows to her. They'd committed to a life lived in secret; nobody could know of their marriage.
Slowly, they turned to look out over the lake of the retreat where he'd first kissed her and Padmé couldn't help but feel freed by the step they'd just taken. She'd committed herself to Anakin. Committed herself to the man who looked at her like she was a treasure to be held and coddled. Treated her like she was something special. Never had she known passion like the kind she'd felt in Anakin's touch; his kiss. His eyes spoke volumes. And, as they watched, Anakin lifted his new artificial arm and slid it across her shoulders, pulling her close. Here, in his arms, feeling the love she knew he felt for her, she rested her head on his shoulders and smiled. She was complete. Anakin loved her beyond life and what they had was something special. Secret or no, she truly believe that and it was that magic between them which would ensure their relationship would last.