Nov 2002 Disclaimer 1: It all (SW) belong to Lucasfilm, I don't own it.

Disclaimer 2: The song is by Martina McBride and I don't own that either :P I removed one line "It happens to alot of men" because it didn't fit in the context of the story.

Part 10

*And I told myself that they were right That you'd wake up and see the light And I just had to wait 'till then.*

Anakin was waiting for her when she returned from a Senate meeting almost two months later. She stopped, shocked, to see him standing in the middle of the suite as if he belonged there. And, in fact, he did. Her heart pounded in her breast, anticipation and trepidation warring for supremacy. He'd come back! He'd finally come back to her. "Anakin."

He was half turned away from her, looking down at a holo of her, which was on the table. He didn't look up, "I thought I told you to stop, Padmé."

She blinked. What was he talking about? Her mind traveled back to the last time she'd seen him, spoken with him. Was he talking about the concerns he had for her life? Probably. He didn't like her opinions, but that didn't mean she was going to give up on them. "I'm not yours to order around." She glanced around the room, checking to see if the security cams were still active. Surely he wouldn't challenge her like this if they were.

"They're off."

She looked back to him and her temper get the better of her. "You presume to give me orders?" she demanded, stepping towards him. Her blood boiled. How dare he treat her like the slave he'd once been! "I thought we were partners, Anakin."

"So did I." His face was impassive, expressionless.

She stormed towards him, slapping both of her palms on his chest as he turned to face her. She could read the shock in his eyes, the surprise at her sudden attack. She'd never been truly angry with him, never allowed herself to lose her temper but now she couldn't hold it back. Anakin was acting like he cared more about what she did and how it affected him than their relationship. That bothered her. Bothered her more than she had yet to admit and she didn't want to lose him. "You knew what I was when we married, it's a little late to be having second thoughts."

His eyes narrowed. "I knew coming here tonight was a bad idea."

She recoiled as if he'd struck her. What did he mean by that? "Why?" she demanded, "Because I'm putting you on the spot? I thought we were trying to build a future for ourselves, and our children one day, Anakin. I thought we mattered to you!"

"You're stubborn."

She almost laughed, barely managing to stop it. If she had, she was certain it would have held an almost hysterical edge to it. This fight was ridiculous, and she had the oddest, sinking feeling he'd come back to her looking for it. "So are you. Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

As if he didn't know. His whole posture spoke of confrontation. Well, if he wanted a fight... "This. You're in and out of my life as if it's unimportant to you. As if I'm unimportant to you. How do you think that makes me feel, Anakin? You're my husband. My husband and I don't know if that means something to you but it means something to me! I made a commitment to you until death, and you're acting as if the bonds that bind us don't exist."

"There is nothing that binds us, Padmé!" his words were softly spoken, but they ripped through her heart like a well placed blaster shot.

"How can you say that?" she demanded, "After all we've been through, all we've shared?"

His eyes were almost cold, yet there was something in their depths that gave her hope. He didn't say anything, but she could see the fight, the goodness and love, he still held inside him that was quickly becoming locked away. She wanted nothing more than to have that surface, then to have him take her in his arms again and love her, the way he had been for years. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't beg, but she wouldn't give in without a fight either.

"We spoke sacred vows, Anakin. Vows that will bind us until this life ends. I know those mean something to you. You've always been faithful to me, always been here for me, what's changed? Ever since we came back to Coruscant..." she couldn't finish the sentence as realization hit her. It had been here, on Coruscant, that his most violent changes had happened. What was here that influenced him so heavily?

"I can't tell you."

She wasn't letting him out of this that easily. Either he loved and trusted her or he didn't. He couldn't have it both ways. "It's your choice this time, Anakin." She told him softly, hoping she was doing the right thing. "Either you love me and trust me, or you don't. You can't have both."

When he didn't respond right away, she almost collapsed. He had to think about it? He had to decide if he loved and trusted her? She swallowed the knot in her throat. "I guess I have my answer." She ducked her head and moved away. His soft words as she was about to turn surprised her.

"I love you."

She froze, meeting his gaze again and saw the anguish in his eyes. An answering emotion opened her heart to him and she wanted nothing more than to enfold him in her arms and hold him there. "Do you, Anakin?" she had to ask, to make sure he knew what he was saying.

He nodded, extending a hand to her in a silent entreaty. She looked at him, waiting for him to speak as her heart pounded painfully in her head. "I do."

"But you still won't tell me." It was more of a statement than a question; she already saw the answer in his eyes. The answer that yes, he did love her, as passionately as he always had, but he couldn't trust her with this. He didn't trust himself and, as an extension, anyone else. She stepped back from him deliberately and his hand dropped back to his side. She hoped it didn't show on her face just how much it killed her to refuse him. She simply wanted him to hold her and never let go, but until whatever was the matter had been resolved, how could she? How could she, in good conscience, lie in his arms as if nothing was wrong. She couldn't. Not until he'd resolved this issue himself. "I understand. I'll be here when you can finally tell me."

"Padmé..." her name was a plea on his lips, a plea for understanding and acceptance. He already had them, but couldn't seem to see it. She wanted him to trust her and he couldn't. A rift now separated them, one she hadn't intended to make, but it seemed to be growing wider as she watched.

She shook her head. "Just go, Anakin. One day you'll come back to me and explain. Then, and only then, will our marriage have a chance to work."

His eyes were slowly shuttered, the light in their depths being extinguished even as she watched. She'd rejected him and her heart was screaming against it. Anakin, looked at her for several long moments. Moments in which she was terrified he'd see through her and to the wants and desires she had. See through her to her bleeding and broken heart. She covered her mouth with her hands to stifle a sob as he slowly turned, nodding to her once. "I won't fail you," he promised softly. "Someday I'll be able to explain. I promise you, Padmé, I won't let our relationship end this way."

She sank to the couch as he disappeared and bowed her head. Anakin was gone. He'd walked away because she'd sent him away. Sent him away without telling him she loved him, without telling him the truth behind her concerns. She had made him leave before she'd told him about the child. Their child. Unable to bear the guilt and heartache, she buried her face in her palms and let the tears come.