Nov 2002
Disclaimer 1: It all (SW) belong to Lucasfilm, I don't own it.
Disclaimer 2: The song is by Martina McBride and I don't own that either :P I removed one line "It happens to alot of men" because it didn't fit in the context of the story.
Part 12
*And it seemed to me the pain would last, My chance for happiness had past, Nothing waiting around the bend.*
Padmé looked out across the gardens of her parent's home. She'd been on Naboo for a month now. She was seven months along in her pregnancy, and back in the home where she'd grown up, but she couldn't help but feel cut off from everyone and everything. Even her sister wasn't welcome in her circle. She kept to herself, staying mostly in her room as she stared at the sparse green landscape. And saw none of it.
She was tender inside. She'd been forced to drop from public view so that her pregnancy didn't come to the attention of the press; the official story was that she was home due to a family emergency. She didn't care. Her position as a Senator was the only thing that had kept her going in the last seven months since Anakin had left. Now she had nothing except her children to motivate her. They were her reason for getting up in the morning, or going outside when she needed to. They were her reason for living.
His face, floating just beyond reach, his determination an almost tangible thing as his crystal eyes stared at her, haunted her dreams. She'd fought to reach him, always falling short and waking up feeling desolate. No matter how she tried, something always blocked her way to him. There were nights where she didn't sleep, simply stared out the window at the darkness, and cradled her belly in her hands. These were the nights, like tonight, she wondered if she'd ever be able to move on with her life.
Anakin. His handsome face stared back at her in the blank window as she stared beyond the glass. She could still see his face, his eyes and, most of all, his smile. That soft, quirky smile that always seemed to be half embarrassed when he turned it on her. His lips were soft, comforting and intoxicating at the same time. They spoke of a shyness he never quite grew out of and yet a confidence inherent in his mindset. She closed her eyes, leaning forward to press a palm against the window. Her forehead slowly followed, the cool glass soothing her heated face.
Anakin. The young man who'd courted her with a dogged determination even when she'd been set against falling in love with him. His antics during that time and following their wedding were enough to make her smile, even now. Even now when her heart was longing for his touch, a smile, even a look. She hadn't even seen a holo-net report about him since she'd last seen him. For all intents and purposes, Anakin had vanished.
She shook her head slowly, her hand resting protectively on her stomach. Anakin had been her happiness, the wild spot in her ordered life. He'd brought chaos to her ordered life and they'd complimented each other perfectly; their weaknesses balanced by the other's strengths. She gently traced the shape of a heart on the window without looking, a slash going through the middle. Tears streaked her face as she opened her eyes to find the rain falling on the garden. She didn't even try to wipe the tears away as she stared beyond the rain. There was nothing for her beyond her children. Padmé felt the pain swirl to the forefront, eating at her spirit, a constant companion. Her heart ached, the familiar ache she'd been feeling since he'd left. The pain, had it not been for the twins, would have killed her, of that she was certain. Without them her life was meaningless.
Disclaimer 2: The song is by Martina McBride and I don't own that either :P I removed one line "It happens to alot of men" because it didn't fit in the context of the story.
Part 12
*And it seemed to me the pain would last, My chance for happiness had past, Nothing waiting around the bend.*
Padmé looked out across the gardens of her parent's home. She'd been on Naboo for a month now. She was seven months along in her pregnancy, and back in the home where she'd grown up, but she couldn't help but feel cut off from everyone and everything. Even her sister wasn't welcome in her circle. She kept to herself, staying mostly in her room as she stared at the sparse green landscape. And saw none of it.
She was tender inside. She'd been forced to drop from public view so that her pregnancy didn't come to the attention of the press; the official story was that she was home due to a family emergency. She didn't care. Her position as a Senator was the only thing that had kept her going in the last seven months since Anakin had left. Now she had nothing except her children to motivate her. They were her reason for getting up in the morning, or going outside when she needed to. They were her reason for living.
His face, floating just beyond reach, his determination an almost tangible thing as his crystal eyes stared at her, haunted her dreams. She'd fought to reach him, always falling short and waking up feeling desolate. No matter how she tried, something always blocked her way to him. There were nights where she didn't sleep, simply stared out the window at the darkness, and cradled her belly in her hands. These were the nights, like tonight, she wondered if she'd ever be able to move on with her life.
Anakin. His handsome face stared back at her in the blank window as she stared beyond the glass. She could still see his face, his eyes and, most of all, his smile. That soft, quirky smile that always seemed to be half embarrassed when he turned it on her. His lips were soft, comforting and intoxicating at the same time. They spoke of a shyness he never quite grew out of and yet a confidence inherent in his mindset. She closed her eyes, leaning forward to press a palm against the window. Her forehead slowly followed, the cool glass soothing her heated face.
Anakin. The young man who'd courted her with a dogged determination even when she'd been set against falling in love with him. His antics during that time and following their wedding were enough to make her smile, even now. Even now when her heart was longing for his touch, a smile, even a look. She hadn't even seen a holo-net report about him since she'd last seen him. For all intents and purposes, Anakin had vanished.
She shook her head slowly, her hand resting protectively on her stomach. Anakin had been her happiness, the wild spot in her ordered life. He'd brought chaos to her ordered life and they'd complimented each other perfectly; their weaknesses balanced by the other's strengths. She gently traced the shape of a heart on the window without looking, a slash going through the middle. Tears streaked her face as she opened her eyes to find the rain falling on the garden. She didn't even try to wipe the tears away as she stared beyond the rain. There was nothing for her beyond her children. Padmé felt the pain swirl to the forefront, eating at her spirit, a constant companion. Her heart ached, the familiar ache she'd been feeling since he'd left. The pain, had it not been for the twins, would have killed her, of that she was certain. Without them her life was meaningless.