Title: The Evil Undead (Two/?)
Author: Randall Stone
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than
he ever wanted to know.
Notes:
Spoilers: S1-3
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the
events of The Zeppo.
Category: B/X
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.
Feedback: Yes please.
*****
Everyone's eyes turned from the Necronomicon to watch Xander's Uncle
Rory as he walked over to the library table. The tape recorder,
which had been all but forgotten due to the Necronomicon's light
show, was now emitting a non stop chorus of screams. When Rory
reached the table, he calmly picked up the tape recorder and pressed
the stop button.
"We are so screwed."
"No offense, Uncle Rory, but we've dealt with this kind of thing
before."
"Oh really? How many times have you had to carve up your girlfriend
with a chainsaw? How many times have you been sent back in time to
fight an army of the undead? How many times have you had to kill
your evil twin?"
"Just the one time." Willow piped up.
"And as terrifying as your evil twin must have been," Rory looked
at the tiny redhead, "you people still have no conception of what-"
His tirade was interrupted as another visitor crashed into the
library. The body looked like it might once have belonged to a
student at Sunnydale High, but it had been twisted and deformed by
the evil that now inhabited it.
"Souls! There are fresh souls in the library!"
Buffy again reacted instinctively, placing herself between her
friends and the intruder. The deadite attacked her, and after a
short scuffle she was able to catch the creature under the chin with
a solid uppercut that launched it back a few feet. The deadite lay
on the ground, unmoving.
Buffy turned back to face her friends. "These guys aren't so
tough."
"It's a trick!" Rory called out, then turned to Giles. "Get an
axe."
Giles retrieved a wicked looking battle axe from the weapons locker
as Buffy turned to hold off the now resurgent deadite. Giles waited
for a lull in the fight and tossed the weapon to Buffy.
She caught the weapon smoothly and quickly went on the offensive. A
short time later, she managed to lop off the creature's head. The
body of the deadite kept fighting, briefly forcing her on the
defensive.
After she blocked the next few attacks, Buffy caught the deadite
overextending with a punch and managed to chop off its right
arm. With a limb missing the creature was at a serious disadvantage
and was soon reduced to a quivering pile of body parts.
It was an impressive display of fighting. Rory leaned over to speak
into Xander's ear.
"Does she always kick that much ass?"
"Yeah, it's pretty much her thing."
"Groovy."
Buffy stepped back and returned to the group after making sure that
the pile of deadite parts was unable to harm anybody.
"So that's a deadite."
"Yes." Giles said. "As you saw, the only effective way to destroy
them is complete dismemberment. Unless you have something to add,
Mr..."
Giles turned to face Xander's uncle.
"Williams. And no, that's about it. Chop them up until there's
nothing left to chop. Also, you can control them with the book,
somehow."
"Of course." Giles was excited by the idea. "The book summoned
them- we should be able to use the book to send them back. We could
stop them before they have a chance to take over the town- or worse,
open the Hellmouth."
"Yeah, good luck with that." Rory turned and walked towards the
door.
"Uncle Rory, wait!" Rory paused. "Aren't you going to stay and-"
"Play bodyguard for a bunch of high schoolers and their librarian
while they muck around with the Necronomicon? Not likely. I'm
getting the hell out of here before things get worse. You coming
with me Xander?"
Xander looked at his uncle, then back to his friends. There was
only one decision he could make.
"No. I can't leave my friends here."
"You've got a good heart, kid." Rory sighed. "I just hope the
deadites don't tear it out and shove it down your throat."
"Um, thanks Uncle Rory."
Xander's uncle continued walking. When he reached to door leading
out of the library he turned around. He paused for a moment as he
appeared to be waging some kind of internal struggle.
"Since we're already mixed up in all this, you might as well know
that Rory isn't my real name. It's Ashley. You can call me Ash."
Ash reached for the chainsaw on his belt. "Here, you'll need this."
With that, Ash tossed the chainsaw across the room to Xander.
Xander caught the saw and looked up, meaning to say something to his
uncle. But the only remaining trace of Ash's presence was the
swinging of the library door.
"Well, we're down one Neanderthal, but we can handle this." Buffy
took charge of the room. "Willow, you and Oz help Giles research
how to get rid of the deadites. Angel and I will guard the door.
Xander, you can put that chainsaw to good use backing us up. We
knock 'em down, you carve 'em up. Simple."
"I don't think so."
The Scoobies swung around to stare at this new voice. None of them
had noticed when Dawn had sneaked out to the library door and taken
a peek outside while her sister was giving orders. Now she was
standing in the doorway glaring at them all. Her eyes were glowing
an unearthly shade of green, while her hair was floating out behind
her as if an electric current was running through it.
"Everthing's so simple, isn't it Buffy? You make the plans, you
fight the evil things, you always take center stage. And your
little sister sits on the sidelines." Dawn walked towards them as
she spoke. "Not this time. This time Dawn's hitting the big time.
This time Dawn's playing with her sister's toys. And I know just
where to start, too."
Dawn suddenly whirled around and grabbed Angel by the waist before
engaging him in a french kiss. Angel was too surprised by the
strength and speed that Dawn displayed to react before it was too
late.
The watching Scoobies saw some kind of blue glow pass from Angel to
Dawn before she pulled herself away, smacking her lips.
"Tasty." Dawn commented, grinning at Angel.
Angel responded with a similar grin before walking over to the
table, slugging Giles in the jaw, and picking up the Necronomicon.
"Angel!" Buffy's voice cracked. "What are you doing?"
"Angel?" He sneered. "Guess again, lover."
He stretched, arching his back, and favored the group with a chilling
grin before he spoke again.
"It does feel good to be back. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've
got a little light reading to catch up on. I'll be seeing you."
With that he took Dawn by the hand and walked out of the library.
---
Joyce Summers was having a bad evening. First, when she had entered
the school the door had slammed shut behind her and resisted all of
her efforts to force it open. Then, the path that would normally
take her to the library had instead dropped her into a labyrinth of
hallways. And now she was being chased by some kind of demonic
being that was intent on consuming her soul.
When she saw the figure ahead of her in the hallway, at first she
thought it was another demon. As she drew closer, she could see
that his features were those of a normal human- except for the
unusually large chin and the chainsaw where his right hand should
be. But his voice, when he spoke, was definitely human.
"Hit the deck!"
Joyce didn't need any further encouragement and quickly hit the
floor as the stranger drew a shotgun from behind his back. She
heard the roar of shotgun fire passing over her head and turned to
look behind her. She discovered that there had actually been two
demons chasing her, and that while they had been knocked down by
the shotgun fire, they were quickly rising to her feet.
Joyce heard the distinctive sound of a chainsaw being revved up as
her savior strode past her to confront the demons at close range.
The fight that followed was not something that Joyce would ever
refer to as a 'ballet of death'. She would be more likely to call
it a 'slam dance of death'. While no one would mistake Ash for a
trained martial artist, he was quite adept at holding off the
attacks of one of the deadites while he carved off bits of the other
deadite with his chainsaw.
The demons were soon reduced to harmless chunks of flesh, and Ash
walked back over to the woman that he had saved.
Ash was not exactly the kind of person that Joyce thought of as her
type. She usually dated men who were more refined- cultured men who
appreciated the work she did at the gallery and who possessed a
quick wit or artistic insight. She certainly wasn't attracted to men
with almost comically oversized chins. And yet, something about the
man in front of her attracted her on an almost primal level.
Maybe it was the work shirt he was wearing, torn just enough to
reveal a well muscled chest. Maybe it was the sweat glistening on
his brow, or the way masculinity seemed to ooze from his every pore.
Or maybe it was the way that he had reduced her attackers to so much
bloody confetti. Whatever it was, Joyce found herself instinctively
leaning towards him, mouth slightly open and ready to receive a
kiss. Then he spoke.
"Give me some sugar, baby."
Joyce snapped out of it and shoved Ash away from her. "Back off,
you pig."
"Hey, I save your life and this is how you thank me? You're
welcome. What the hell are you doing in this place anyways?" Ash
was a little ticked off.
"I'm looking for my daughter."
"Your daughter? I guess the deadites stole your wedding ring?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but my ex-husband took care of
that for them." Joyce's eyes flashed with irritation. "Now if
you'll excuse me..."
Something clicked in Ash's head as she turned away in a huff. "Wait
a minute- your daughter, is she about five foot nothing with blonde
hair?"
"That's Buffy."
"Buffy?" Ash laughed, then quickly shut up under Joyce's glare.
"She's in the library."
"Thank you." With that, Joyce turned to walk off down the hallway.
"Wait a minute, lady! You can't just walk around in here by
yourself. They'll kill you."
"Well, I certainly can't leave my daughter by herself. I'll just
have to take my chances."
As Ash watched Joyce walk off, a battle was being waged in his head.
A battle between his survival instinct and his libido. In the end,
there was only one way it could go.
"Hey! Wait up. I'll go with you."
Joyce didn't say anything as Ash ran to catch up with her. He was
slightly out of breath when he reached her side.
"Geez, what is it with the women in your family?"
"Buffy's the vampire slayer." Joyce smiled. "I'm just an
independent woman."
"Great." Ash shook his head. "Hold on- vampire slayer?"
***
If chins could kill...
Thanks everybody for your feedback on the first couple parts. Makes
the writing a lot easier.
--Randy
Author: Randall Stone
Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.
Summary: Xander finds out more about his Uncle Rory's past than
he ever wanted to know.
Notes:
Spoilers: S1-3
Clearly the Uncle Rory we saw in Hell's Bells was some kind of
cheap imposter. What would a story be like with the _real_ Uncle
Rory interacting with the Scoobs?
This story takes place in season 3 some short time after the
events of The Zeppo.
Category: B/X
Rating: PG-ish- nothing worse than what's on the show.
Feedback: Yes please.
*****
Everyone's eyes turned from the Necronomicon to watch Xander's Uncle
Rory as he walked over to the library table. The tape recorder,
which had been all but forgotten due to the Necronomicon's light
show, was now emitting a non stop chorus of screams. When Rory
reached the table, he calmly picked up the tape recorder and pressed
the stop button.
"We are so screwed."
"No offense, Uncle Rory, but we've dealt with this kind of thing
before."
"Oh really? How many times have you had to carve up your girlfriend
with a chainsaw? How many times have you been sent back in time to
fight an army of the undead? How many times have you had to kill
your evil twin?"
"Just the one time." Willow piped up.
"And as terrifying as your evil twin must have been," Rory looked
at the tiny redhead, "you people still have no conception of what-"
His tirade was interrupted as another visitor crashed into the
library. The body looked like it might once have belonged to a
student at Sunnydale High, but it had been twisted and deformed by
the evil that now inhabited it.
"Souls! There are fresh souls in the library!"
Buffy again reacted instinctively, placing herself between her
friends and the intruder. The deadite attacked her, and after a
short scuffle she was able to catch the creature under the chin with
a solid uppercut that launched it back a few feet. The deadite lay
on the ground, unmoving.
Buffy turned back to face her friends. "These guys aren't so
tough."
"It's a trick!" Rory called out, then turned to Giles. "Get an
axe."
Giles retrieved a wicked looking battle axe from the weapons locker
as Buffy turned to hold off the now resurgent deadite. Giles waited
for a lull in the fight and tossed the weapon to Buffy.
She caught the weapon smoothly and quickly went on the offensive. A
short time later, she managed to lop off the creature's head. The
body of the deadite kept fighting, briefly forcing her on the
defensive.
After she blocked the next few attacks, Buffy caught the deadite
overextending with a punch and managed to chop off its right
arm. With a limb missing the creature was at a serious disadvantage
and was soon reduced to a quivering pile of body parts.
It was an impressive display of fighting. Rory leaned over to speak
into Xander's ear.
"Does she always kick that much ass?"
"Yeah, it's pretty much her thing."
"Groovy."
Buffy stepped back and returned to the group after making sure that
the pile of deadite parts was unable to harm anybody.
"So that's a deadite."
"Yes." Giles said. "As you saw, the only effective way to destroy
them is complete dismemberment. Unless you have something to add,
Mr..."
Giles turned to face Xander's uncle.
"Williams. And no, that's about it. Chop them up until there's
nothing left to chop. Also, you can control them with the book,
somehow."
"Of course." Giles was excited by the idea. "The book summoned
them- we should be able to use the book to send them back. We could
stop them before they have a chance to take over the town- or worse,
open the Hellmouth."
"Yeah, good luck with that." Rory turned and walked towards the
door.
"Uncle Rory, wait!" Rory paused. "Aren't you going to stay and-"
"Play bodyguard for a bunch of high schoolers and their librarian
while they muck around with the Necronomicon? Not likely. I'm
getting the hell out of here before things get worse. You coming
with me Xander?"
Xander looked at his uncle, then back to his friends. There was
only one decision he could make.
"No. I can't leave my friends here."
"You've got a good heart, kid." Rory sighed. "I just hope the
deadites don't tear it out and shove it down your throat."
"Um, thanks Uncle Rory."
Xander's uncle continued walking. When he reached to door leading
out of the library he turned around. He paused for a moment as he
appeared to be waging some kind of internal struggle.
"Since we're already mixed up in all this, you might as well know
that Rory isn't my real name. It's Ashley. You can call me Ash."
Ash reached for the chainsaw on his belt. "Here, you'll need this."
With that, Ash tossed the chainsaw across the room to Xander.
Xander caught the saw and looked up, meaning to say something to his
uncle. But the only remaining trace of Ash's presence was the
swinging of the library door.
"Well, we're down one Neanderthal, but we can handle this." Buffy
took charge of the room. "Willow, you and Oz help Giles research
how to get rid of the deadites. Angel and I will guard the door.
Xander, you can put that chainsaw to good use backing us up. We
knock 'em down, you carve 'em up. Simple."
"I don't think so."
The Scoobies swung around to stare at this new voice. None of them
had noticed when Dawn had sneaked out to the library door and taken
a peek outside while her sister was giving orders. Now she was
standing in the doorway glaring at them all. Her eyes were glowing
an unearthly shade of green, while her hair was floating out behind
her as if an electric current was running through it.
"Everthing's so simple, isn't it Buffy? You make the plans, you
fight the evil things, you always take center stage. And your
little sister sits on the sidelines." Dawn walked towards them as
she spoke. "Not this time. This time Dawn's hitting the big time.
This time Dawn's playing with her sister's toys. And I know just
where to start, too."
Dawn suddenly whirled around and grabbed Angel by the waist before
engaging him in a french kiss. Angel was too surprised by the
strength and speed that Dawn displayed to react before it was too
late.
The watching Scoobies saw some kind of blue glow pass from Angel to
Dawn before she pulled herself away, smacking her lips.
"Tasty." Dawn commented, grinning at Angel.
Angel responded with a similar grin before walking over to the
table, slugging Giles in the jaw, and picking up the Necronomicon.
"Angel!" Buffy's voice cracked. "What are you doing?"
"Angel?" He sneered. "Guess again, lover."
He stretched, arching his back, and favored the group with a chilling
grin before he spoke again.
"It does feel good to be back. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've
got a little light reading to catch up on. I'll be seeing you."
With that he took Dawn by the hand and walked out of the library.
---
Joyce Summers was having a bad evening. First, when she had entered
the school the door had slammed shut behind her and resisted all of
her efforts to force it open. Then, the path that would normally
take her to the library had instead dropped her into a labyrinth of
hallways. And now she was being chased by some kind of demonic
being that was intent on consuming her soul.
When she saw the figure ahead of her in the hallway, at first she
thought it was another demon. As she drew closer, she could see
that his features were those of a normal human- except for the
unusually large chin and the chainsaw where his right hand should
be. But his voice, when he spoke, was definitely human.
"Hit the deck!"
Joyce didn't need any further encouragement and quickly hit the
floor as the stranger drew a shotgun from behind his back. She
heard the roar of shotgun fire passing over her head and turned to
look behind her. She discovered that there had actually been two
demons chasing her, and that while they had been knocked down by
the shotgun fire, they were quickly rising to her feet.
Joyce heard the distinctive sound of a chainsaw being revved up as
her savior strode past her to confront the demons at close range.
The fight that followed was not something that Joyce would ever
refer to as a 'ballet of death'. She would be more likely to call
it a 'slam dance of death'. While no one would mistake Ash for a
trained martial artist, he was quite adept at holding off the
attacks of one of the deadites while he carved off bits of the other
deadite with his chainsaw.
The demons were soon reduced to harmless chunks of flesh, and Ash
walked back over to the woman that he had saved.
Ash was not exactly the kind of person that Joyce thought of as her
type. She usually dated men who were more refined- cultured men who
appreciated the work she did at the gallery and who possessed a
quick wit or artistic insight. She certainly wasn't attracted to men
with almost comically oversized chins. And yet, something about the
man in front of her attracted her on an almost primal level.
Maybe it was the work shirt he was wearing, torn just enough to
reveal a well muscled chest. Maybe it was the sweat glistening on
his brow, or the way masculinity seemed to ooze from his every pore.
Or maybe it was the way that he had reduced her attackers to so much
bloody confetti. Whatever it was, Joyce found herself instinctively
leaning towards him, mouth slightly open and ready to receive a
kiss. Then he spoke.
"Give me some sugar, baby."
Joyce snapped out of it and shoved Ash away from her. "Back off,
you pig."
"Hey, I save your life and this is how you thank me? You're
welcome. What the hell are you doing in this place anyways?" Ash
was a little ticked off.
"I'm looking for my daughter."
"Your daughter? I guess the deadites stole your wedding ring?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but my ex-husband took care of
that for them." Joyce's eyes flashed with irritation. "Now if
you'll excuse me..."
Something clicked in Ash's head as she turned away in a huff. "Wait
a minute- your daughter, is she about five foot nothing with blonde
hair?"
"That's Buffy."
"Buffy?" Ash laughed, then quickly shut up under Joyce's glare.
"She's in the library."
"Thank you." With that, Joyce turned to walk off down the hallway.
"Wait a minute, lady! You can't just walk around in here by
yourself. They'll kill you."
"Well, I certainly can't leave my daughter by herself. I'll just
have to take my chances."
As Ash watched Joyce walk off, a battle was being waged in his head.
A battle between his survival instinct and his libido. In the end,
there was only one way it could go.
"Hey! Wait up. I'll go with you."
Joyce didn't say anything as Ash ran to catch up with her. He was
slightly out of breath when he reached her side.
"Geez, what is it with the women in your family?"
"Buffy's the vampire slayer." Joyce smiled. "I'm just an
independent woman."
"Great." Ash shook his head. "Hold on- vampire slayer?"
***
If chins could kill...
Thanks everybody for your feedback on the first couple parts. Makes
the writing a lot easier.
--Randy