Chapter 3
So, another year passed & I had managed to avoid the subject of wrestling & The Hardy Boys almost completely! Michael was growing up fast & it was hard to believe it was his 4th birthday already! Dad & Kellie had arrived two weeks earlier as usual & now we were preparing for an invasion of pre- schoolers tearing around the appartment for Michael's party!! It was chaos when they all arrived & I kept thinking, 'I must be mad !',but the smile on Michael's face made up for all the noise, the mess & the throbbing headache by the time the little 'cherubs' had all left!! Before we cleaned up we let Mike open the mountain of preasents everyone had given him! He sat on Dad's knee tearing open the parcels & giggling with excitement at every gift he unwrapped!! I had my back to him, picking up the wrapping paper from the floor & shoving it into a garbage bag, when suddenly he squeeled with delight! I turned around & there he was, sitting on his Grandpa's knee holding a set of Hardy Boys wrestling figures!! "Mummy! Mummy! Look! Look what Robert got me!!" he shouted, jumping down from Dad's knee & running over to show me! I just stood there, totally gobsmacked!! I didn't know what to do or what to say! "Mummy?" he looked at me with a little frown, "It's The Hardy Boys! It's Jeff with blue hair...remember? Look!!" He tugged at my leg begging me to look! I bent down & took the package from his hands, I was shaking! "Oh.......honey.......v.......very erm...nice!" "Granpa do you live near the Hardy Boys 'cause they live where you & Gum live, Jake told me!" I shook my head, my eyes pleading with Dad not to say anything! "Well....I....er....I don't really know son......I....errr......" "Why don't we take you into the bathroom to get washed & ready for bed young man!" "Aw Gum!!" "No buts or 'aw Gums'! Come on!" said Kellie, quickly ushering him into the bathroom. I heaved a sigh of relief when he was out of the room & Dad looked up at me. "Well Dad.......I er...don't want his head full of this wrestling stuff! He's too young & it's too dangerous!" "That's fair enough!" he said & he picked up the box of figures, studying them carefully & smiling a little. "I never undrstood Gemma......about you & Jeff!" he shook his head absentmindedly. "Dad please! Not now ok?" I started to gather up some more paper from the floor. "Gemma y'know.....I never asked...not once in all this time have I questioned you about it! I figured it was best left alone....but..." "Yeah Dad, trust me it is!!" "....But Jeff came to see me again before I left to come here!" I stopped what I was doing, trying to seem as if I didn't give a damn! "Oh?" "He often does! Him & Matt, they're good boys! They call to see me whenever they're home....always asking about you!" "Yeah?....That's nice then!" "Why don't you stay in touch with them Gemma? What happened with you & Jeff before you up & left the way you did?" "It was nothing Dad!" I walked into the kitchen, trying to avoid any more questions that I couldn't bare to answer! "So.....I can give Jeff your number then...?" "NO!" I almost ran back into the living room! "NO DAD! Please! I...it's just...I...." I had no words to explain why, I just stood there. "Ok, whatever you want but..." he paused & hung his head, ".....He misses you Gemma, they both do! Whatever it was.....whatever happened....can't you work it....." "No dad! It's not that easy!" Dad sighed & shook his head, "I'll drop the subject Gemma, just one more thing..." he paused, ".....something Jeff asked me to ask you." "Go on." "He said, do you still have to tape & if you do, would you do him one last thing & just listen to it...just once?!" "Sure dad." Later that night, when everyone was asleep, I went to the drawer of the dresser in my room. After all these years I still knew exactly where to find that tape, even though I hadn't played it since the day I left Cameron. I crept into the living room & put the tape into the stereo. I plugged in the headphones & went to press the 'play' button, but my finger just stopped, hovering above the button, unwilling to break the spell! I knew the song on the tape by heart anyway, but the thought of hearing every word like it was meant for me made me catch my breath & I couldn't do it!! I went to bed, but one line of that song plagued me until the sun came up. "If you'd accept surrender, give up some more, weren't you adored ?" Maybe it was time I did accept the facts & give up.....let Michael meet his father?!
So, another year passed & I had managed to avoid the subject of wrestling & The Hardy Boys almost completely! Michael was growing up fast & it was hard to believe it was his 4th birthday already! Dad & Kellie had arrived two weeks earlier as usual & now we were preparing for an invasion of pre- schoolers tearing around the appartment for Michael's party!! It was chaos when they all arrived & I kept thinking, 'I must be mad !',but the smile on Michael's face made up for all the noise, the mess & the throbbing headache by the time the little 'cherubs' had all left!! Before we cleaned up we let Mike open the mountain of preasents everyone had given him! He sat on Dad's knee tearing open the parcels & giggling with excitement at every gift he unwrapped!! I had my back to him, picking up the wrapping paper from the floor & shoving it into a garbage bag, when suddenly he squeeled with delight! I turned around & there he was, sitting on his Grandpa's knee holding a set of Hardy Boys wrestling figures!! "Mummy! Mummy! Look! Look what Robert got me!!" he shouted, jumping down from Dad's knee & running over to show me! I just stood there, totally gobsmacked!! I didn't know what to do or what to say! "Mummy?" he looked at me with a little frown, "It's The Hardy Boys! It's Jeff with blue hair...remember? Look!!" He tugged at my leg begging me to look! I bent down & took the package from his hands, I was shaking! "Oh.......honey.......v.......very erm...nice!" "Granpa do you live near the Hardy Boys 'cause they live where you & Gum live, Jake told me!" I shook my head, my eyes pleading with Dad not to say anything! "Well....I....er....I don't really know son......I....errr......" "Why don't we take you into the bathroom to get washed & ready for bed young man!" "Aw Gum!!" "No buts or 'aw Gums'! Come on!" said Kellie, quickly ushering him into the bathroom. I heaved a sigh of relief when he was out of the room & Dad looked up at me. "Well Dad.......I er...don't want his head full of this wrestling stuff! He's too young & it's too dangerous!" "That's fair enough!" he said & he picked up the box of figures, studying them carefully & smiling a little. "I never undrstood Gemma......about you & Jeff!" he shook his head absentmindedly. "Dad please! Not now ok?" I started to gather up some more paper from the floor. "Gemma y'know.....I never asked...not once in all this time have I questioned you about it! I figured it was best left alone....but..." "Yeah Dad, trust me it is!!" "....But Jeff came to see me again before I left to come here!" I stopped what I was doing, trying to seem as if I didn't give a damn! "Oh?" "He often does! Him & Matt, they're good boys! They call to see me whenever they're home....always asking about you!" "Yeah?....That's nice then!" "Why don't you stay in touch with them Gemma? What happened with you & Jeff before you up & left the way you did?" "It was nothing Dad!" I walked into the kitchen, trying to avoid any more questions that I couldn't bare to answer! "So.....I can give Jeff your number then...?" "NO!" I almost ran back into the living room! "NO DAD! Please! I...it's just...I...." I had no words to explain why, I just stood there. "Ok, whatever you want but..." he paused & hung his head, ".....He misses you Gemma, they both do! Whatever it was.....whatever happened....can't you work it....." "No dad! It's not that easy!" Dad sighed & shook his head, "I'll drop the subject Gemma, just one more thing..." he paused, ".....something Jeff asked me to ask you." "Go on." "He said, do you still have to tape & if you do, would you do him one last thing & just listen to it...just once?!" "Sure dad." Later that night, when everyone was asleep, I went to the drawer of the dresser in my room. After all these years I still knew exactly where to find that tape, even though I hadn't played it since the day I left Cameron. I crept into the living room & put the tape into the stereo. I plugged in the headphones & went to press the 'play' button, but my finger just stopped, hovering above the button, unwilling to break the spell! I knew the song on the tape by heart anyway, but the thought of hearing every word like it was meant for me made me catch my breath & I couldn't do it!! I went to bed, but one line of that song plagued me until the sun came up. "If you'd accept surrender, give up some more, weren't you adored ?" Maybe it was time I did accept the facts & give up.....let Michael meet his father?!