Chapter 8
About 15 minutes later we were all still in the yard when Rhett, Pat & Greg arrived back with Kellie & Gilbert in the car. We tried to hide our tear - stained faces from them as they went into the house & Gilbert was the only one to notice that something was going on, so he stayed outside. We all stood there, looking at anything but Gilbert's questioning looks, our feet, the sky, the house, anything at all to avoid his eyes. "So, this must be young Michael then?" he said as he bent down to get a closer look, ruffling Mike's hair. We all held our breath, waiting for the realisation to hit him as it had done with Matt & Jeff, but there was nothing. "I finally get to meet the little guy!" he said smiling fondly at him. He lifted Michael up into his arms, "Come & let's see your Grandmar! I know she is dying for a hug!" He set off towards the door & then stopped, "Matthew........you might want to come inside too!" We all stared at him, astounded. "Sure Dad!" Matt said & followed him up the porch steps. "Dad!" Jeff called before they could go inside. Gilbert turned around. "Yes son?" "Dad...I...er......I..." "We'll talk later....you & Gemma.....you need to....well there's no one at home so maybe you'd like to take this young lady back for a coffee?" He walked inside with Matt following. We stood there in the yard not even looking at each other, hands in pockets, staring at the ground. Jeff turned & walked to the gate, I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, on the verge of tears again. Jeff turned when he opened the gate & gestured for me to follow him, so I did. We walked along the road in complete silence, well what did I expect? I just had the guy meet a son he didn't even know he had...overwhelming could be an understatement!! We didn't speak a word, not even when we got to Jeff's house & went inside. I just wanted him to say something, anything....the silence was crushing me but I knew I had to give him time, it was a huge thing to take in! When we walked into the kitchen he threw his keys onto the counter. "I........err......I have to go to the bathroom," he said walking to the door, "You can.....make a coffee...or something...whatever." He walked out of the room & he hadn't once even looked up at me. I made coffee, even though I didn't want one, & sat down at the table. 20 minutes later I still sat there, 2 cold cups of coffee infront of me & I couldn't take any more, I had to go & face him. When I went upstairs I saw him through the open door of his bedroom, his back towards me just staring out of the window. "Jeff?" He didn't move. I went to him & put a hand on his shoulder & he shrugged it off. I started to cry. "Talk to me Jeff...please?" He sighed, "What do you want me to.............what am I supposed to do here Gemma?" Still he didn't look up at me. I shook my head & sniffed, "I......don't know!" I said, almost whispering, and a purely selfish thought crept into my mind, 'Why didn't I just let him hold me before I took him to see Michael?' I suppose I knew in a way that I'd done the right thing at the time, but right at that moment I would've given anything for him to hold me in his arms & tell me it was all going to be ok! He sat down on the edge of his bed & put his head in his hands, and when he eventually spoke he still didn't lift his head. "Why......er.......why didn't you just tell me?" I shook my head, "I don't know......I was scared!" He nodded. "He's four years old Gemma! Four years & not once did you pick up the phone.....four years!" he laughed sarcastically, "Jesus what am I meant to do here?!" "Whatever you want to do! Anything...or....or...nothing! It's up to you Jeff!" Eventually he looked up at me for the first time since we left the farmhouse, his eyes red & full of tears. He ran his hands through his hair. "Does...er...." he sniffed & wiped a tear from his cheek, "....does he know...about me?" "No." He nodded. "What about your Dad?" "No." "Rhett? Pat?" "None of them know Jeff.....just me, and Matt now obviously." He let out a long breath & rubbed his face. "I.......I don't know what I'm supposed to say......" "It's ok, I'll go." I turned to leave. "I just need a little time....just to er..." he started to cry. All I wanted to do was go to him & hold him, wipe away his tears, but I couldn't. I just turned & left him alone, on the edge of his bed, sobbing. As I reached the back door I heard a crash from upstairs, followed by another louder one. Jeff shouted something & there was a bang as if he was hitting his fists off anything in sight. I left quickly & cried until I got back to dad's place.
About 15 minutes later we were all still in the yard when Rhett, Pat & Greg arrived back with Kellie & Gilbert in the car. We tried to hide our tear - stained faces from them as they went into the house & Gilbert was the only one to notice that something was going on, so he stayed outside. We all stood there, looking at anything but Gilbert's questioning looks, our feet, the sky, the house, anything at all to avoid his eyes. "So, this must be young Michael then?" he said as he bent down to get a closer look, ruffling Mike's hair. We all held our breath, waiting for the realisation to hit him as it had done with Matt & Jeff, but there was nothing. "I finally get to meet the little guy!" he said smiling fondly at him. He lifted Michael up into his arms, "Come & let's see your Grandmar! I know she is dying for a hug!" He set off towards the door & then stopped, "Matthew........you might want to come inside too!" We all stared at him, astounded. "Sure Dad!" Matt said & followed him up the porch steps. "Dad!" Jeff called before they could go inside. Gilbert turned around. "Yes son?" "Dad...I...er......I..." "We'll talk later....you & Gemma.....you need to....well there's no one at home so maybe you'd like to take this young lady back for a coffee?" He walked inside with Matt following. We stood there in the yard not even looking at each other, hands in pockets, staring at the ground. Jeff turned & walked to the gate, I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, on the verge of tears again. Jeff turned when he opened the gate & gestured for me to follow him, so I did. We walked along the road in complete silence, well what did I expect? I just had the guy meet a son he didn't even know he had...overwhelming could be an understatement!! We didn't speak a word, not even when we got to Jeff's house & went inside. I just wanted him to say something, anything....the silence was crushing me but I knew I had to give him time, it was a huge thing to take in! When we walked into the kitchen he threw his keys onto the counter. "I........err......I have to go to the bathroom," he said walking to the door, "You can.....make a coffee...or something...whatever." He walked out of the room & he hadn't once even looked up at me. I made coffee, even though I didn't want one, & sat down at the table. 20 minutes later I still sat there, 2 cold cups of coffee infront of me & I couldn't take any more, I had to go & face him. When I went upstairs I saw him through the open door of his bedroom, his back towards me just staring out of the window. "Jeff?" He didn't move. I went to him & put a hand on his shoulder & he shrugged it off. I started to cry. "Talk to me Jeff...please?" He sighed, "What do you want me to.............what am I supposed to do here Gemma?" Still he didn't look up at me. I shook my head & sniffed, "I......don't know!" I said, almost whispering, and a purely selfish thought crept into my mind, 'Why didn't I just let him hold me before I took him to see Michael?' I suppose I knew in a way that I'd done the right thing at the time, but right at that moment I would've given anything for him to hold me in his arms & tell me it was all going to be ok! He sat down on the edge of his bed & put his head in his hands, and when he eventually spoke he still didn't lift his head. "Why......er.......why didn't you just tell me?" I shook my head, "I don't know......I was scared!" He nodded. "He's four years old Gemma! Four years & not once did you pick up the phone.....four years!" he laughed sarcastically, "Jesus what am I meant to do here?!" "Whatever you want to do! Anything...or....or...nothing! It's up to you Jeff!" Eventually he looked up at me for the first time since we left the farmhouse, his eyes red & full of tears. He ran his hands through his hair. "Does...er...." he sniffed & wiped a tear from his cheek, "....does he know...about me?" "No." He nodded. "What about your Dad?" "No." "Rhett? Pat?" "None of them know Jeff.....just me, and Matt now obviously." He let out a long breath & rubbed his face. "I.......I don't know what I'm supposed to say......" "It's ok, I'll go." I turned to leave. "I just need a little time....just to er..." he started to cry. All I wanted to do was go to him & hold him, wipe away his tears, but I couldn't. I just turned & left him alone, on the edge of his bed, sobbing. As I reached the back door I heard a crash from upstairs, followed by another louder one. Jeff shouted something & there was a bang as if he was hitting his fists off anything in sight. I left quickly & cried until I got back to dad's place.