Chapter 9
Gilbert was sitting on the porch steps when I got back to Dad's, he was watching Rhett & Matt playing with Michael with a small smile on his face! As I went through the gate Michael excitedly shouted, "Mummy! Mummy! Look at me!" as he rode around on Matt's back, giggling & screaming! I smiled as best I could & waved, before going to sit beside Gilbert on the steps. He smiled at me as I sat down. "Ok?" I swallowed, "Oh well.....y'know.." He nodded. "Gilbert, how did you know?" I blurted out, not even knowing if he really did know! "I didn't know, not for sure anyway!" He put his arm around my shoulders, "I had my suspicions, talked to your Dad.." "My Dad?" "Yes of course! I saw photographs of Michael over the years, your Dad was always proudly showing them off when he got back from one of his trips! I...well I could see the likeness!" he let out a laugh, "Of course your father thought I was being ridiculous & laughed it off, until I dug out some old pictures of Jeff..." he squeezed me, "....and.....well I saw you, in Jeff's bed the night before you left!" I stared at him, amazed, "Oh....I..." "Well, like I said I never knew for certain, hoped maybe, but....." he turned my face so I was looking at him, "...I knew if my suspicions were correct that you'd tell us in your own time! You're a good girl Gemma!" He smiled warmly at me. "You're not angry with me?" "Angry?" He laughed, "Gemma just look over there!" He pointed to Matt who was still playing with Michael, down on his hands & knees in the dirt! "I have a grandson & he's the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen! I couldn't be angry with you!" The tears welled up & as I blinked one slowly rolled down my cheek. "Hey now...less of that young lady! There's been enough crying around here for one day!" "But Jeff....he's so.." "He will come around, don't you worry!" He smiled. "He's so angry with me Gilbert! I've hurt him....I don't think he'll ever forgive me.....not this time!" "It's been a big shock to him Gemma! He never expected this!" "You didn't say anything to him....about what you thought?" "No....I never told him. He was hurting really bad when you left, he's been missing you Gemma! For five years he's never even bothered to get involved with anyone, well nothing serious anyway! You have no idea how that boy of mine feels about you! Give him time, he'll come to his senses, trust me!" "I hope so!" I sniffed & tried not to break down again. "I have to tell Michael! God this is such a mess!" "One thing at a time sweetheart! It'll be ok in the end!" I could't stop my tears any longer so I excused myself & went up to my room. I cried for a long time, I just wished I'd been honest from the start then I wouldn't be going through all of this shit! I was angry at myself for letting it go on so long & angry at myself for ever comming back to Cameron! The night I got there I dreamed about telling Jeff & that he would sweep me up into his arms & we'd live happilly ever after.....and now.....well I didn't even know if he'd ever speak to me again! I cried until I fell asleep. ******* When I woke up again everything was quiet. I just wanted to stay there & wait until everything was over, but I knew I had to get up & face the world again! I hadn't even been to see Dad yet! When I climbed out of bed my eyes were stinging from all the tears & my face felt puffy & swollen. I went & had a wash then I went downstairs. Gilbert was standing in the kitchen looking out of the window & as far as I was aware he was the only person in the house. He smiled as I walked into the room & beckoned for me to go to him. "Come & look!" he said, smiling. I went to the window as he put his arm around my waist & what I saw made my heart skip a beat! At the other side of the yard Michael was sitting on the grass with Jeff! I looked at Gilbert & he just smiled & nodded his head! It looked as if they were deep in conversation, Michael pulling up blades of grass & Jeff studying his every move! It was a sight that made me catch my breath, a sight I never thought I'd see! "Should I go out there?" "No. Leave them for a while! They have some catching up to do don't you think?" I nodded but I longed to go out there & join in, find out what they were talking about! Instead I nervously sat & had a coffee with Gilbert. "You've got a lot of bridges to build my girl!" he said as we were sitting at the kitchen table. I nodded. "It'll all be ok y'know?" "Yeah....I hope so Gilbert!" I smiled, "I think I should go & see Dad, he wanted me to take Michael in today!" I washed up the cups, all the time staring out of the window at Jeff with my son. I suddenly realised as I was standing there he wasn't just my son anymore! Ok so technically he'd never been just 'mine', but now it seemed diffrent, now I had to get used to sharing him! I'd never thought of it like that before! I quickly changed my clothes, did my hair & make-up then I took a deep breath as I opened the back door & stepped outside. They both looked up as I approached. "Mummy!" Michael said, getting up & running to give me a hug. "Oh Mike!" I said laughing, "You're all dirty! Look at you!" I bent down & tweaked his nose, "I can't take you to see Gramps like that!" I sensed that Jeff had gotten up & walked over to us but I didn't look up. "I fell off Matt when he gave me a ride!" he giggled, "I fell straight in the dirt!" "Yeah? No kidding!!" I laughed, "You look like you had a mud bath!" "Can I get clean & go & see Grandpa now?" "Of course sweetheart! Let's get you all nice & clean for Grandpa! He's looking forward to seeing you!" We headed back towards the house & Gilbert met us at the door. "My goodness! It's a mud monster!" he laughed & lifted Michael up, "Come on, let old Gilbert clean you up or you'll scare your Grandpa looking like that!" Michael giggled! "It's ok Gilbert I got it!" "Let me do it Gemma...please?" "Sure!" I nodded, "Thanks Gilbert!" "My pleasure!" he grinned at me & took Michael inside. "He's a great kid!" Jeff said, "You er....you did good!" he smiled & my heart skipped a beat. "Yeah! He has his moments, but he's basically a good kid!" I set off back down the steps towards dad's old jeep. "I'll have to see if this swine will start for me now!" I was just about to climb into the driver's seat when Jeff touched my arm. "Gem?" I stopped & turned to face him, "We...ahh.......we need to talk!" "Yeah we do, but I have to go & see Dad I..." "It's ok! When you come back, tonight maybe?" "Sure.!" "Errrm..." he shuffled in the gravel, his hands in his pockets looking down at the ground, "...can I...." he paused & looked me in the eyes, "...can I come & see Michael again? Just anytime that suits you.." I smiled, "Anytime Jeff....anytime you want to see him just come over ok?" He nodded & turned to walk away, "You'll come over to my place tonight then?" he shouted as he walked backwards towards the house. "SURE!" I shouted back & got into the drivers seat of the old jeep, smiling to myself as I watched Jeff walking away.
Gilbert was sitting on the porch steps when I got back to Dad's, he was watching Rhett & Matt playing with Michael with a small smile on his face! As I went through the gate Michael excitedly shouted, "Mummy! Mummy! Look at me!" as he rode around on Matt's back, giggling & screaming! I smiled as best I could & waved, before going to sit beside Gilbert on the steps. He smiled at me as I sat down. "Ok?" I swallowed, "Oh well.....y'know.." He nodded. "Gilbert, how did you know?" I blurted out, not even knowing if he really did know! "I didn't know, not for sure anyway!" He put his arm around my shoulders, "I had my suspicions, talked to your Dad.." "My Dad?" "Yes of course! I saw photographs of Michael over the years, your Dad was always proudly showing them off when he got back from one of his trips! I...well I could see the likeness!" he let out a laugh, "Of course your father thought I was being ridiculous & laughed it off, until I dug out some old pictures of Jeff..." he squeezed me, "....and.....well I saw you, in Jeff's bed the night before you left!" I stared at him, amazed, "Oh....I..." "Well, like I said I never knew for certain, hoped maybe, but....." he turned my face so I was looking at him, "...I knew if my suspicions were correct that you'd tell us in your own time! You're a good girl Gemma!" He smiled warmly at me. "You're not angry with me?" "Angry?" He laughed, "Gemma just look over there!" He pointed to Matt who was still playing with Michael, down on his hands & knees in the dirt! "I have a grandson & he's the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen! I couldn't be angry with you!" The tears welled up & as I blinked one slowly rolled down my cheek. "Hey now...less of that young lady! There's been enough crying around here for one day!" "But Jeff....he's so.." "He will come around, don't you worry!" He smiled. "He's so angry with me Gilbert! I've hurt him....I don't think he'll ever forgive me.....not this time!" "It's been a big shock to him Gemma! He never expected this!" "You didn't say anything to him....about what you thought?" "No....I never told him. He was hurting really bad when you left, he's been missing you Gemma! For five years he's never even bothered to get involved with anyone, well nothing serious anyway! You have no idea how that boy of mine feels about you! Give him time, he'll come to his senses, trust me!" "I hope so!" I sniffed & tried not to break down again. "I have to tell Michael! God this is such a mess!" "One thing at a time sweetheart! It'll be ok in the end!" I could't stop my tears any longer so I excused myself & went up to my room. I cried for a long time, I just wished I'd been honest from the start then I wouldn't be going through all of this shit! I was angry at myself for letting it go on so long & angry at myself for ever comming back to Cameron! The night I got there I dreamed about telling Jeff & that he would sweep me up into his arms & we'd live happilly ever after.....and now.....well I didn't even know if he'd ever speak to me again! I cried until I fell asleep. ******* When I woke up again everything was quiet. I just wanted to stay there & wait until everything was over, but I knew I had to get up & face the world again! I hadn't even been to see Dad yet! When I climbed out of bed my eyes were stinging from all the tears & my face felt puffy & swollen. I went & had a wash then I went downstairs. Gilbert was standing in the kitchen looking out of the window & as far as I was aware he was the only person in the house. He smiled as I walked into the room & beckoned for me to go to him. "Come & look!" he said, smiling. I went to the window as he put his arm around my waist & what I saw made my heart skip a beat! At the other side of the yard Michael was sitting on the grass with Jeff! I looked at Gilbert & he just smiled & nodded his head! It looked as if they were deep in conversation, Michael pulling up blades of grass & Jeff studying his every move! It was a sight that made me catch my breath, a sight I never thought I'd see! "Should I go out there?" "No. Leave them for a while! They have some catching up to do don't you think?" I nodded but I longed to go out there & join in, find out what they were talking about! Instead I nervously sat & had a coffee with Gilbert. "You've got a lot of bridges to build my girl!" he said as we were sitting at the kitchen table. I nodded. "It'll all be ok y'know?" "Yeah....I hope so Gilbert!" I smiled, "I think I should go & see Dad, he wanted me to take Michael in today!" I washed up the cups, all the time staring out of the window at Jeff with my son. I suddenly realised as I was standing there he wasn't just my son anymore! Ok so technically he'd never been just 'mine', but now it seemed diffrent, now I had to get used to sharing him! I'd never thought of it like that before! I quickly changed my clothes, did my hair & make-up then I took a deep breath as I opened the back door & stepped outside. They both looked up as I approached. "Mummy!" Michael said, getting up & running to give me a hug. "Oh Mike!" I said laughing, "You're all dirty! Look at you!" I bent down & tweaked his nose, "I can't take you to see Gramps like that!" I sensed that Jeff had gotten up & walked over to us but I didn't look up. "I fell off Matt when he gave me a ride!" he giggled, "I fell straight in the dirt!" "Yeah? No kidding!!" I laughed, "You look like you had a mud bath!" "Can I get clean & go & see Grandpa now?" "Of course sweetheart! Let's get you all nice & clean for Grandpa! He's looking forward to seeing you!" We headed back towards the house & Gilbert met us at the door. "My goodness! It's a mud monster!" he laughed & lifted Michael up, "Come on, let old Gilbert clean you up or you'll scare your Grandpa looking like that!" Michael giggled! "It's ok Gilbert I got it!" "Let me do it Gemma...please?" "Sure!" I nodded, "Thanks Gilbert!" "My pleasure!" he grinned at me & took Michael inside. "He's a great kid!" Jeff said, "You er....you did good!" he smiled & my heart skipped a beat. "Yeah! He has his moments, but he's basically a good kid!" I set off back down the steps towards dad's old jeep. "I'll have to see if this swine will start for me now!" I was just about to climb into the driver's seat when Jeff touched my arm. "Gem?" I stopped & turned to face him, "We...ahh.......we need to talk!" "Yeah we do, but I have to go & see Dad I..." "It's ok! When you come back, tonight maybe?" "Sure.!" "Errrm..." he shuffled in the gravel, his hands in his pockets looking down at the ground, "...can I...." he paused & looked me in the eyes, "...can I come & see Michael again? Just anytime that suits you.." I smiled, "Anytime Jeff....anytime you want to see him just come over ok?" He nodded & turned to walk away, "You'll come over to my place tonight then?" he shouted as he walked backwards towards the house. "SURE!" I shouted back & got into the drivers seat of the old jeep, smiling to myself as I watched Jeff walking away.