Chapter 12
The week went by very quickly! Dad was due out of hospital any time now so we were all looking forward to having him home again! Jeff speant a lot of time with Michael & they seemed to be getting along famously! Things between Jeff & me were pretty much the same, we talked a lot & took Mike out together to various places but still Jeff seemed to be keeping his distance from me. I guess it was just something I had to accept, that from now on I'd always be at arms length, a healthy distance away from getting 'attatched' again. I figured it was Jeff's way of dealing with this, just as mine had been to run away & at least this way he was still here! All hopes I'd had of ever re-living the night I'd left were completely blown to hell, but if that's the way it was meant to be then what could I do about it? I just had to keep reminding myself that Jeff had loved me once & his love gave me the most amazing gift, it had given me my son! The day before Dad was due to come home Matt & Jeff came over to the farmhouse. Jeff took Michael to the park & Matt stayed behind with me. We'd not had much time to talk since I'd come back & I was glad he decided to stay! As I made coffee he came up behind me & planted a kiss on the top of my head! "What was that for?!" I laughed, turning around to face him. He put his arms around me & we looked at each other for a few seconds. "Oh...I dunno! I just felt like it!" he smiled, "I'm glad you're back Gem! He pulled me to him & held me & I put my arms around him. "Oh Matt.." I sighed, "I'm sorry!" "Hey! You've done nothing to be sorry for!" "Yeah I have....just everything! I did miss you y'know?" I said over his shoulder, "I missed all of you so much!" "I know!" he said, stroking my hair, "But it's ok now! Everything's alright!" I made coffee & we sat down to talk. "So when are you guys going away?" "Three days then we have a show in New York to do! Hey you could come along too!" "I don't think so Matt!" "Why not? Michael would love it! You could catch up with everyone, Shane, Ada..." he stopped himself & I raised my eyebrows, "Oh yeah! I see what you mean!" he slapped a hand to his forehead & we both laughed. "I was thinking about Adam actually....how did it go, when I left? I mean him & Jeff? Did Adam ever find out about me & ......." Matt nodded, "He kinda figured it out on his own I guess! There was a bit of a scuffle in our yard...nothing major!" "Oh Jesus they were fighting?!" Matt laughed, "No not exactly, although Jeff kinda came off worse that day!" He grinned a mischievous grin! "That was nothing compared to when they got in the ring!" "Matt...you're kidding me?!" I was shocked it had gone that far! "No I'm not! Man our matches with Edge & Christian were fucking bloodbaths! Me & Jay had to try & stay in the ring as much as we could 'cause they were really going for it!" he shook his head & smiled, "I'm tellin' ya Gem, chairs to the face the works!! They used to crawl backstage after a match!!" "Jesus! I never even imagined they'd do anything like that!!" "Ah well I suppose it stopped them from knocking hell out of each other outside of work! I guess that was one good thing!!" he laughed. "So are they like.......are they ok now?" "Hell yeah! They get along just fine now! I guess neither of them could take much more punishment!!" he smiled & looked up at me, "Did you know adam...he...ahh he got married a little while ago?" I smiled, "Yeah I did hear something! He's er...he's happy now right?" Matt nodded, "That's good then, he deserves to be!" we smiled at each other. "What about you then? Did you ever find.." "NO!" I laughed, "I never did!" "Not even once?!" Matt asked surprised! "Nope! Aw come on Matt, for starters not many 'Mr Right's' go for single mothers now do they?!" I laughed, "Besides I never wanted anyone else...I didn't need the hassle! It was always just me & Mike & I liked it that way just fine! In fact I still do to tell you the truth!" "Wow! What a gal!" He winked. "Yeah? Just 'cause you guys can't live without it....." "Aw come on Gem you must have been tempted...once even?!" I shook my head & we laughed! "No, but I tell you something..." I motioned for him to come closer to me & he leaned accross the table so I could whisper in his ear, "....I'm sure as hell gagging for it now!!" He playfully pushed me & we dissolved into fits of laughter! Once we'd calmed down & the laughing subsided I decided to ask the one question I'd been dying to know the answer to all this time. "So, what about Jeff?" Matt looked up, "There was a couple....well two or three maybe, but they never lasted very long!" "Oh.......what were they like?" Matt sighed, "Do you really wanna do this?" I nodded, "You really wanna have this conversation?!" He looked at me with raised eyebrows & I nodded again. "Ok! Ok!" he held up his hands & leaned back in his chair, "The truth was Gemma they were.......well..." he sighed, "How do I put this?........They were groupies! Plain & simple!!" "What?!" "It's the truth! He used them.....screwed them...it was just a quick fuck! That's all it ever was for him Gemma, sex!" I was astounded! "Bu....but....no! Matt Jeff's not like that! He used to hate the guys in Omega who did that sort of shit!!" Matt nodded, "I KNOW! I tried to tell him....but well he went & did it anyway no matter what I said!" "Jesus!" I sat back in my chair, "So, hang on Matt.....two or three?!" I raised my eyebrows & Matt looked away shrugging his shoulders. "Matt?!" "Look Gem does it matter?! It's over! It's been a while since he did anything like that anyway! It was only after...." he paused. "After I went away?" I said almost whispering & staring down at the table in shame! "No! Look Gem we don't need to do this ok? Just forget about it...it doesn't matter any more!" he took hold of both of my hands & I looked up into his eyes. "Is...is that what I did to him Matt?" I gulped, "I turned him into something he always hated?!" I pulled my hands free of his grip & went to the sink, throwing the cups in harder than I meant to! Matt said nothing, he just sat there looking at me. I put my hands into the water & something sharp jabbed my palm. "FUCK!" I pulled my hand out & blood dripped down my arm. "Jesus!" Matt ran to me, grabbing a towel & wrapping my hand up tightly. "Fuck it! God damn bastard fucking cup!!" I started to cry. "Hey...shhhh..." Matt pulled me towards him & held me. After a few seconds I pulled back. "Jesus! I'm crying over a fucking broken cup now!" Matt just smiled at me. "Let me have a look at your hand." He unwrapped the towel & the blood still gushed out, dripping onto his shirt. "Oh shit Matt, your shirt!" "Don't worry about my shirt....let me look!" he grabbed my hand & inspected the cut, dabbing it with the towel. "I think you'll live!!" he smiled, "Only just mind you!" I laughed & wiped my face. "Yeah? You mean they won't have to amputate after all?!" He playfully punched my chin & then grabbed me around the waist & kissed my cheek. "I'm so glad you're here Gem!" he smiled & held me tightly. "Matt!! Your shirt!!" I said holding my hand up in the air away from his clothes. "Fuck the shirt!! Now give me a hug!!"
The week went by very quickly! Dad was due out of hospital any time now so we were all looking forward to having him home again! Jeff speant a lot of time with Michael & they seemed to be getting along famously! Things between Jeff & me were pretty much the same, we talked a lot & took Mike out together to various places but still Jeff seemed to be keeping his distance from me. I guess it was just something I had to accept, that from now on I'd always be at arms length, a healthy distance away from getting 'attatched' again. I figured it was Jeff's way of dealing with this, just as mine had been to run away & at least this way he was still here! All hopes I'd had of ever re-living the night I'd left were completely blown to hell, but if that's the way it was meant to be then what could I do about it? I just had to keep reminding myself that Jeff had loved me once & his love gave me the most amazing gift, it had given me my son! The day before Dad was due to come home Matt & Jeff came over to the farmhouse. Jeff took Michael to the park & Matt stayed behind with me. We'd not had much time to talk since I'd come back & I was glad he decided to stay! As I made coffee he came up behind me & planted a kiss on the top of my head! "What was that for?!" I laughed, turning around to face him. He put his arms around me & we looked at each other for a few seconds. "Oh...I dunno! I just felt like it!" he smiled, "I'm glad you're back Gem! He pulled me to him & held me & I put my arms around him. "Oh Matt.." I sighed, "I'm sorry!" "Hey! You've done nothing to be sorry for!" "Yeah I have....just everything! I did miss you y'know?" I said over his shoulder, "I missed all of you so much!" "I know!" he said, stroking my hair, "But it's ok now! Everything's alright!" I made coffee & we sat down to talk. "So when are you guys going away?" "Three days then we have a show in New York to do! Hey you could come along too!" "I don't think so Matt!" "Why not? Michael would love it! You could catch up with everyone, Shane, Ada..." he stopped himself & I raised my eyebrows, "Oh yeah! I see what you mean!" he slapped a hand to his forehead & we both laughed. "I was thinking about Adam actually....how did it go, when I left? I mean him & Jeff? Did Adam ever find out about me & ......." Matt nodded, "He kinda figured it out on his own I guess! There was a bit of a scuffle in our yard...nothing major!" "Oh Jesus they were fighting?!" Matt laughed, "No not exactly, although Jeff kinda came off worse that day!" He grinned a mischievous grin! "That was nothing compared to when they got in the ring!" "Matt...you're kidding me?!" I was shocked it had gone that far! "No I'm not! Man our matches with Edge & Christian were fucking bloodbaths! Me & Jay had to try & stay in the ring as much as we could 'cause they were really going for it!" he shook his head & smiled, "I'm tellin' ya Gem, chairs to the face the works!! They used to crawl backstage after a match!!" "Jesus! I never even imagined they'd do anything like that!!" "Ah well I suppose it stopped them from knocking hell out of each other outside of work! I guess that was one good thing!!" he laughed. "So are they like.......are they ok now?" "Hell yeah! They get along just fine now! I guess neither of them could take much more punishment!!" he smiled & looked up at me, "Did you know adam...he...ahh he got married a little while ago?" I smiled, "Yeah I did hear something! He's er...he's happy now right?" Matt nodded, "That's good then, he deserves to be!" we smiled at each other. "What about you then? Did you ever find.." "NO!" I laughed, "I never did!" "Not even once?!" Matt asked surprised! "Nope! Aw come on Matt, for starters not many 'Mr Right's' go for single mothers now do they?!" I laughed, "Besides I never wanted anyone else...I didn't need the hassle! It was always just me & Mike & I liked it that way just fine! In fact I still do to tell you the truth!" "Wow! What a gal!" He winked. "Yeah? Just 'cause you guys can't live without it....." "Aw come on Gem you must have been tempted...once even?!" I shook my head & we laughed! "No, but I tell you something..." I motioned for him to come closer to me & he leaned accross the table so I could whisper in his ear, "....I'm sure as hell gagging for it now!!" He playfully pushed me & we dissolved into fits of laughter! Once we'd calmed down & the laughing subsided I decided to ask the one question I'd been dying to know the answer to all this time. "So, what about Jeff?" Matt looked up, "There was a couple....well two or three maybe, but they never lasted very long!" "Oh.......what were they like?" Matt sighed, "Do you really wanna do this?" I nodded, "You really wanna have this conversation?!" He looked at me with raised eyebrows & I nodded again. "Ok! Ok!" he held up his hands & leaned back in his chair, "The truth was Gemma they were.......well..." he sighed, "How do I put this?........They were groupies! Plain & simple!!" "What?!" "It's the truth! He used them.....screwed them...it was just a quick fuck! That's all it ever was for him Gemma, sex!" I was astounded! "Bu....but....no! Matt Jeff's not like that! He used to hate the guys in Omega who did that sort of shit!!" Matt nodded, "I KNOW! I tried to tell him....but well he went & did it anyway no matter what I said!" "Jesus!" I sat back in my chair, "So, hang on Matt.....two or three?!" I raised my eyebrows & Matt looked away shrugging his shoulders. "Matt?!" "Look Gem does it matter?! It's over! It's been a while since he did anything like that anyway! It was only after...." he paused. "After I went away?" I said almost whispering & staring down at the table in shame! "No! Look Gem we don't need to do this ok? Just forget about it...it doesn't matter any more!" he took hold of both of my hands & I looked up into his eyes. "Is...is that what I did to him Matt?" I gulped, "I turned him into something he always hated?!" I pulled my hands free of his grip & went to the sink, throwing the cups in harder than I meant to! Matt said nothing, he just sat there looking at me. I put my hands into the water & something sharp jabbed my palm. "FUCK!" I pulled my hand out & blood dripped down my arm. "Jesus!" Matt ran to me, grabbing a towel & wrapping my hand up tightly. "Fuck it! God damn bastard fucking cup!!" I started to cry. "Hey...shhhh..." Matt pulled me towards him & held me. After a few seconds I pulled back. "Jesus! I'm crying over a fucking broken cup now!" Matt just smiled at me. "Let me have a look at your hand." He unwrapped the towel & the blood still gushed out, dripping onto his shirt. "Oh shit Matt, your shirt!" "Don't worry about my shirt....let me look!" he grabbed my hand & inspected the cut, dabbing it with the towel. "I think you'll live!!" he smiled, "Only just mind you!" I laughed & wiped my face. "Yeah? You mean they won't have to amputate after all?!" He playfully punched my chin & then grabbed me around the waist & kissed my cheek. "I'm so glad you're here Gem!" he smiled & held me tightly. "Matt!! Your shirt!!" I said holding my hand up in the air away from his clothes. "Fuck the shirt!! Now give me a hug!!"