Chapter 16
So, later that evening Michael & I turned up at Jeff's house ready to spend the night. When I'd told Dad he thought it was a bad idea & that we shouldn't be rushing into things...in a way I agreed with him but what could I do? When you're in love nothing else matters whether it's the right thing to do or not! Dad wanted us to slow it down, do things properly & 'go out on dates', which made me laugh!! I'd said, "Dad we have a child together for God's sake! I think we are a little past the dating stage!!" He'd just given me a concerned, pleading look & of course I'd ignored him, packed an overnight bag & left! When we walked into the kitchen at Jeff's house they were all sitting around the table drinking coffee! I suddenly felt nervous, awkward, as if I was a school kid again & I was about to get caught sneaking around! Jeff got up to greet us & took my bag which Gilbert eyed curiously! "You're staying tonight Gemma?" he asked. I almost fell through the floor-Jeff hadn't told him!! I went a bright shade of red & looked down at my feet. "Um......er......well...yes if it's ok with you...if you don't mind having us for the night!" Matt immediately stood up, slamming his chair so hard it made me jump, & he followed Jeff upstairs. Something was going on here & I didn't like it, my stomache churned! I looked pleadingly at Amy for an answer but she looked as dumb-founded as I was! "I don't mind you're always welcome here Gemma you know that!" Gilbert stood up, "I don't mind at all!" he said quietly. "Now then young fella...you've come to stay at Gilbert's for the night huh?!" he lifted Michael up into his arms. "Yes I have!" Michael said smiling at his grandfather! "Well then I guess we could let you pick which room you want to sleep in tonight!!" "YAY!" Michael cheered excitedly as they left the room. I sat down with Amy at the table & sighed. "So,,," she said taking hold of my hand, "Which room are you going to be sleeping in tonight?!" she grinned! "Don't you start!!" I said & playfully pushed her arm. "But you & Jeff....you're erm....sorting things out right?!" "I think so Amy......he asked me to stay!" "Well why aren't you shouting it from the rooftops?!" I shrugged my shoulders, "I duuno....just well...maybe it still seems a little weird y'know?!" She nodded. "I can't put a finger on it but something's strange! Look at the way Matt reacted just then! Have I done something to upset him?" "I honestly don't know what's gotten into Matt! He's been quiet ever since he came back from your Dad's! He won't tell me what's bugging him!" "He saw us kissing....gave Jeff a look like he was gonna throttle him! I must have done something!" "I don't think it's you, I think it's Jeff! You could cut the atmosphere in here with a knife earlier..and..." she stopped. "Go on!" "Well it's probably nothing but I heard them talking rather loudly when they got back from your Dad's!" "You mean they were arguing??!" I said surprised! It wasn't something that happened very often! "No...well..maybe! Oh look I don't really know!" "Amy come on! What were they saying?!" "I didn't hear much, just Jeff shouting something, Matt shouting back at him then Jeff told him to butt out & mind his own business!" She shrugged, "I don't know what's goin' on!" "Gem do you mind if I take Mike out back to play?" Jeff asked as he walked into the kitchen with Michael tagging along behind. "No, sure! And Jeff?" "Yeah?" "You don't have to keep asking ok?" He nodded. "Amy do you want to come too?!" Michael asked, tugging at her sleeve, "Jeff is gonna take me to see the pond! We might find some frogs!!" "Frogs huh?!" Amy smiled then pulled a disgusted face! "As long as no frogs come near me! Will you protect me?!" she put her arm around Mike's waist. "Yeah I'll save you from the froggies!!" Michael giggled! Jeff took Mike outside & Amy turned to me, "I'll see if I can get anything out of him ok?!" I nodded, "Don't worry about it I'm sure it's nothing!" "Yeah I'm sure you're right!" I smiled at her & she went outside with the others. As she went out of the door Matt walked in & offered to make coffee so I accepted. We sat down side by side at the table in silence for a while until eventually he spoke. "So you....ah.....you're staying with Jeff tonight?" "I think so!" He nodded, "Is that a wise move?" "Matt what's goin' on?" "Nothing, nothing.....just well you don't want to rush into anything that's all!" "Have you & Jeff been arguing? Was it about me?!" He hung his head & sighed, "Well we had a bit of a dissagreement but it wasn't over you! Jeff was just being an asshole!" "So what happened? You two don't usually fight!" "It was nothin'...I want to talk about you here!!" "What about me?!" I laughed but Matt's serious expression didn't change & he grabbed my hand. "Gem....are you sure about this...about Jeff? It's been along time y'know?" "I love him Matt!" "That didn't answer my question!" I gulped, "No...I'm not sure....not really...especially now that the whole world knows I feel...oh I dunno?" "Rushed?" I let out a laugh! "I'd hardly call 5 years rushing things wouold you?!" "Yeah but it was 5 years apart Gemma! Thing's change! People change!" "Has Jeff said something to you about this? About me?!" "No, just look..." he paused, "....for me...just don't rush into anything you're not sure of ok?!" I sighed, "You're right! Everyone's right! As usual Gemma is way off the mark AGAIN!" I said sarcastically. "Don't be like that Gemma! I didn't mean to upset you! I'm just worried I guess!" "ABOUT WHAT!?" I shouted, "Look Matt I've had all this shit from Dad already and now you too! My head is spinning! Everything was fine & now the whole world knows I came here to sleep with your brother!! Jesus give me a fuckin' break here will ya?! If you have something to fuckin' say then spit it out!!" I stood up & walked away. My mind was racing & I was angry at Matt for his interferrance! "I don't think Jeff is ready!" he said quietly. I stopped in my tracks & went back to him. "WHAT?!" "Just trust me! I know my own brother & I think he is doing this for all the wrong reasons, he just doesn't know it yet!" I sat back down & put my head in my hands. "Matt I'm so confused!" I started to cry & he put his arms around me. "Oh hey! come on! I didn't mean to upset you!" "What am I meant to do here Matt?!" I sobbed. "Look just wait a while ok? I'm sure Jeff loves you...just give it some more time! If you rush head long into something.....well I'm just worried you are both gonna get hurt & I dopn't wanna see that happen again!" I nodded. "Oh Matt I'm more angry at myself than at you! I knew this wasn't right but...I just....I love him Matt! I love him so much!" "Shhhh. I know sweetheart. I know!"
So, later that evening Michael & I turned up at Jeff's house ready to spend the night. When I'd told Dad he thought it was a bad idea & that we shouldn't be rushing into things...in a way I agreed with him but what could I do? When you're in love nothing else matters whether it's the right thing to do or not! Dad wanted us to slow it down, do things properly & 'go out on dates', which made me laugh!! I'd said, "Dad we have a child together for God's sake! I think we are a little past the dating stage!!" He'd just given me a concerned, pleading look & of course I'd ignored him, packed an overnight bag & left! When we walked into the kitchen at Jeff's house they were all sitting around the table drinking coffee! I suddenly felt nervous, awkward, as if I was a school kid again & I was about to get caught sneaking around! Jeff got up to greet us & took my bag which Gilbert eyed curiously! "You're staying tonight Gemma?" he asked. I almost fell through the floor-Jeff hadn't told him!! I went a bright shade of red & looked down at my feet. "Um......er......well...yes if it's ok with you...if you don't mind having us for the night!" Matt immediately stood up, slamming his chair so hard it made me jump, & he followed Jeff upstairs. Something was going on here & I didn't like it, my stomache churned! I looked pleadingly at Amy for an answer but she looked as dumb-founded as I was! "I don't mind you're always welcome here Gemma you know that!" Gilbert stood up, "I don't mind at all!" he said quietly. "Now then young fella...you've come to stay at Gilbert's for the night huh?!" he lifted Michael up into his arms. "Yes I have!" Michael said smiling at his grandfather! "Well then I guess we could let you pick which room you want to sleep in tonight!!" "YAY!" Michael cheered excitedly as they left the room. I sat down with Amy at the table & sighed. "So,,," she said taking hold of my hand, "Which room are you going to be sleeping in tonight?!" she grinned! "Don't you start!!" I said & playfully pushed her arm. "But you & Jeff....you're erm....sorting things out right?!" "I think so Amy......he asked me to stay!" "Well why aren't you shouting it from the rooftops?!" I shrugged my shoulders, "I duuno....just well...maybe it still seems a little weird y'know?!" She nodded. "I can't put a finger on it but something's strange! Look at the way Matt reacted just then! Have I done something to upset him?" "I honestly don't know what's gotten into Matt! He's been quiet ever since he came back from your Dad's! He won't tell me what's bugging him!" "He saw us kissing....gave Jeff a look like he was gonna throttle him! I must have done something!" "I don't think it's you, I think it's Jeff! You could cut the atmosphere in here with a knife earlier..and..." she stopped. "Go on!" "Well it's probably nothing but I heard them talking rather loudly when they got back from your Dad's!" "You mean they were arguing??!" I said surprised! It wasn't something that happened very often! "No...well..maybe! Oh look I don't really know!" "Amy come on! What were they saying?!" "I didn't hear much, just Jeff shouting something, Matt shouting back at him then Jeff told him to butt out & mind his own business!" She shrugged, "I don't know what's goin' on!" "Gem do you mind if I take Mike out back to play?" Jeff asked as he walked into the kitchen with Michael tagging along behind. "No, sure! And Jeff?" "Yeah?" "You don't have to keep asking ok?" He nodded. "Amy do you want to come too?!" Michael asked, tugging at her sleeve, "Jeff is gonna take me to see the pond! We might find some frogs!!" "Frogs huh?!" Amy smiled then pulled a disgusted face! "As long as no frogs come near me! Will you protect me?!" she put her arm around Mike's waist. "Yeah I'll save you from the froggies!!" Michael giggled! Jeff took Mike outside & Amy turned to me, "I'll see if I can get anything out of him ok?!" I nodded, "Don't worry about it I'm sure it's nothing!" "Yeah I'm sure you're right!" I smiled at her & she went outside with the others. As she went out of the door Matt walked in & offered to make coffee so I accepted. We sat down side by side at the table in silence for a while until eventually he spoke. "So you....ah.....you're staying with Jeff tonight?" "I think so!" He nodded, "Is that a wise move?" "Matt what's goin' on?" "Nothing, nothing.....just well you don't want to rush into anything that's all!" "Have you & Jeff been arguing? Was it about me?!" He hung his head & sighed, "Well we had a bit of a dissagreement but it wasn't over you! Jeff was just being an asshole!" "So what happened? You two don't usually fight!" "It was nothin'...I want to talk about you here!!" "What about me?!" I laughed but Matt's serious expression didn't change & he grabbed my hand. "Gem....are you sure about this...about Jeff? It's been along time y'know?" "I love him Matt!" "That didn't answer my question!" I gulped, "No...I'm not sure....not really...especially now that the whole world knows I feel...oh I dunno?" "Rushed?" I let out a laugh! "I'd hardly call 5 years rushing things wouold you?!" "Yeah but it was 5 years apart Gemma! Thing's change! People change!" "Has Jeff said something to you about this? About me?!" "No, just look..." he paused, "....for me...just don't rush into anything you're not sure of ok?!" I sighed, "You're right! Everyone's right! As usual Gemma is way off the mark AGAIN!" I said sarcastically. "Don't be like that Gemma! I didn't mean to upset you! I'm just worried I guess!" "ABOUT WHAT!?" I shouted, "Look Matt I've had all this shit from Dad already and now you too! My head is spinning! Everything was fine & now the whole world knows I came here to sleep with your brother!! Jesus give me a fuckin' break here will ya?! If you have something to fuckin' say then spit it out!!" I stood up & walked away. My mind was racing & I was angry at Matt for his interferrance! "I don't think Jeff is ready!" he said quietly. I stopped in my tracks & went back to him. "WHAT?!" "Just trust me! I know my own brother & I think he is doing this for all the wrong reasons, he just doesn't know it yet!" I sat back down & put my head in my hands. "Matt I'm so confused!" I started to cry & he put his arms around me. "Oh hey! come on! I didn't mean to upset you!" "What am I meant to do here Matt?!" I sobbed. "Look just wait a while ok? I'm sure Jeff loves you...just give it some more time! If you rush head long into something.....well I'm just worried you are both gonna get hurt & I dopn't wanna see that happen again!" I nodded. "Oh Matt I'm more angry at myself than at you! I knew this wasn't right but...I just....I love him Matt! I love him so much!" "Shhhh. I know sweetheart. I know!"