Chapter 23
Jeff seemed to love the idea of me & Michael going to Ohio with them! I still wasn't so sure but like Matt had already said, screw the lot of them!! Plus I was secretly relieved that I could keep an eye on Jeff, if I'd stayed home I would've driven myself crazy wondering if he was with someone!! He never knew Matt told me about New York, once I'd had the time to think it over it seemed pointless having another argument with him about something that was done & couldn't be changed. I'd also felt really bad for putting Matt on the spot, making him chose between me & his brother, I hadn't been very fair! So, the subject was dropped. Dad had his reservations about us going! He was worried about me having to face Adam & he knew how hard it was going to be, but my mind was made up! I was going & that was that! Just incase I bottled out & changed my mind at the last minute I told Michael! I knew I couldn't let him down no matter what the consequences would be! The day before we were due to leave Dwayne called to say he'd spoken to Adam. Apparently dwayne couldn't really tell how he'd taken it, he'd just gone really quiet & left the room. To me that didn't sound too good, but Dwayne assured me that later that night he'd seen Adam laughing & joking around with some of the other guys like nothing had happened. I wasn't so sure that everything would be fine, when all said & done I'd gotten pregnant before I left him, even if it was only a few hours!! If it had been the other way around & he had left me like that the day before our wedding I don't think I could ever forgive him. I had to prepare myself for the worst as far as Adam was concerned. Amy was psyched that we were going to Raw! She'd been telling me about all the other girls & how she was dying to introduce me to them all! I was so nervous I could hardly sleep! Not only would I be seeing a lot of old familiar faces but I was about to be introduced to what sounded like most of the company!! It was all very daunting on top of the thought of having to face my ex-fiance!! For hours I lay awake just trying to think things over in my mind, what I was going to say to people, how I was going to answer the questions that were boound to be asked when I suddenly turned up out of the blue after almost 5 years! My head was buzzing! I turned over in my bed & looked at Jeff sound asleep. This was it, make or break time for us! The trip would either prove we could hack it or tear us apart, my stomach sank at the thought but hey at least we'd know!! In the back of my mind I was still clinging to the idea of going back to Australia, but I knew if I wanted us to work it out, to be a family, then I could never go back! It was a scarey thought but one I had to come to terms with, after all there was no way Jeff could travel from Australia twice a week to go to work & the other alternitive wasn't even a possibility!! His carreer with the WWF had been his dream ever since he was a child & even if he offered to give it all up for me & michael there's no way I'd let him do it. Was staying in Cameron such a bad thing for me? It's not like I had any kind of life in Oz that I would be giving up - no social life, no friends, no job that I needed to run back to! The wonders of modern technology would still allow me to write for the magazine if I chose to do so from wherever I was in the world! So what sacrifices would I be making by moving back to Cameron? The only answer I could come up with was none! I don't think I got much more that two hours sleep that night. Before I knew it we were all in the car & I was headed towards my final demons! ******* We arrived at the hotel an hour before Amy & the guys were due at the arena. When we piled out of the car there was a few fans hanging around for autographs & pictures, it was all so alien to me & felt very strange! By the time we checked in there was 30 minutes to spare & the time was creeping up on me way too quickly! I had no time to worry about anything it was all so hectic! When we got to the arena it was the same scene only ten fold!! Fans were erverywhere, girls shouting for autographs & camera flash bulbs going off all around us! Michael clug to me, scared stiff & I was getting worried about how he was going to handle the show! He was jumping at flash bulbs so I figured he would probably pee his pants at the pyro effects during Raw!! We got to their dressing room & I heaved a sigh of relief at the welcome silence in there compared to outside! "You ok?" Jeff said, touching my arm. "Yeah, just a little overwhelmed I guess! I'll be ok!" He smiled & gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "So what do you think Mike? Wanna go take a look see who we can bump into in the hall?" "YAY!" Mike cheered. "Wait for us!" Matt said & he & Amy made for the door. I got to the doorway I stopped. "What's up?" Matt asked. "I don't think I can do this!" I looked out of the door to see Amy & Jeff dissaperaring along the corridor with Michael. "Come on Gem it'll be fine! I'll be with you!" "No I'm serious Matt! I think I'm gonna spew! Just go, take Mike & I'll wait here ok? I'll see you in a little while!" "Ok if you're sure!" I just nodded, "We won't be long ok?!" I closed the door behind him & heaved a sigh of relief! I was safe, for now anyway! ******* After about ten minutes nof sitting there on my own there was a knock on the door & my heart leapt into my throat! I heard whispering & quiet giggles comming from outside so nervously I went & slowly opened the door. Standing before me were two girls, not much younger than me but made up like hookers!! At first I thought they must be part of the show. "Can I help?" I asked & they started at me. "We're erm...looking for Jeff Hardy!" Said one of the girls trying to peer around the door & look into the room. "I'm sorry he's not here right now!" "This is his dressing room though right?" said the other girl. "Yes it is, can I help in any way?" "I doubt it!" they both laughed & it made me nervous! "Can you give Jeff a message from me?" "Yes of course." "Tell him Shelly was here, he'll remember me from er....last time he was in town!" They both giggled. "We'll be aroound later so we'll come back & see if he's here!" I nodded, dumbfounded as they walked off down the corridor arm in arm. I closed the door & leaned my back against it, my eyes filling up with tears. I told myself to get a grip! Stuff like this must happen all the time, part of the job!! I had to stop getting so emotional about everything! There was a knock on the door again & I jumped. "Jeff isnt here!!" I shouted, not feeling like facing any more half naked women! "Gemma?" Said a deep male voice. "Y......yes...who is it?" "It's Dwayne!" I let out a breath, I'd been almost terrified when I'd heard that voice! The first thing that had come into my head was that it was Adam!! I opened the door. "Dwayne!!" I said almost throwing myself into his arms! "What's wrong sweetheart?!" "Nothing, nothing, I'm just so glad to see you!" He smiled, "I'm glad to see you too honey! Come on let's sit down & talk!" I let him in & we sat down on one of the benches. "Are you gonna hide out in here all night?!" "If I can!" I smiled & he raised his famous eyebrow! "Well ok maybe not ALL night! I bottled it Dwayne! I don't know what came over me but I couldn't go out there!" "Mike is down in the ring with Paul.....do you really wanna miss that?!" "Matt has the video camera, I can see it later!" "Your four year old son is pinning the Big Show & you don't wanna be there?!" "Dwayne don't please! I feel guilty enough!" He stood up & walked over to the door. "OUT!" He said opening it & pointing into the corridor! "DWAYNE!" "Out! NOW!" "NO!" He laughed sarcastically. "I wasn't asking you for an answer!" "Don't you pull this 'People's Champ' crap on me cause it won't wash ok?! I can't go out there!" "Yes you can!" "Is Adam there?" "He's not down at the ring but he's around somewhere.....so?" "Dwayne I don't want to!!" I whined. "Get your ass out of this room & go & see your little boy playing with the big guys! What's more important to you!?" "What are you trying to say!?" "You want Mike to remember all this & remember you weren't there watching?!" I bit on my lip & I knew he'd done it! I went out into the corridor & down to the ring with Dwayne.
Jeff seemed to love the idea of me & Michael going to Ohio with them! I still wasn't so sure but like Matt had already said, screw the lot of them!! Plus I was secretly relieved that I could keep an eye on Jeff, if I'd stayed home I would've driven myself crazy wondering if he was with someone!! He never knew Matt told me about New York, once I'd had the time to think it over it seemed pointless having another argument with him about something that was done & couldn't be changed. I'd also felt really bad for putting Matt on the spot, making him chose between me & his brother, I hadn't been very fair! So, the subject was dropped. Dad had his reservations about us going! He was worried about me having to face Adam & he knew how hard it was going to be, but my mind was made up! I was going & that was that! Just incase I bottled out & changed my mind at the last minute I told Michael! I knew I couldn't let him down no matter what the consequences would be! The day before we were due to leave Dwayne called to say he'd spoken to Adam. Apparently dwayne couldn't really tell how he'd taken it, he'd just gone really quiet & left the room. To me that didn't sound too good, but Dwayne assured me that later that night he'd seen Adam laughing & joking around with some of the other guys like nothing had happened. I wasn't so sure that everything would be fine, when all said & done I'd gotten pregnant before I left him, even if it was only a few hours!! If it had been the other way around & he had left me like that the day before our wedding I don't think I could ever forgive him. I had to prepare myself for the worst as far as Adam was concerned. Amy was psyched that we were going to Raw! She'd been telling me about all the other girls & how she was dying to introduce me to them all! I was so nervous I could hardly sleep! Not only would I be seeing a lot of old familiar faces but I was about to be introduced to what sounded like most of the company!! It was all very daunting on top of the thought of having to face my ex-fiance!! For hours I lay awake just trying to think things over in my mind, what I was going to say to people, how I was going to answer the questions that were boound to be asked when I suddenly turned up out of the blue after almost 5 years! My head was buzzing! I turned over in my bed & looked at Jeff sound asleep. This was it, make or break time for us! The trip would either prove we could hack it or tear us apart, my stomach sank at the thought but hey at least we'd know!! In the back of my mind I was still clinging to the idea of going back to Australia, but I knew if I wanted us to work it out, to be a family, then I could never go back! It was a scarey thought but one I had to come to terms with, after all there was no way Jeff could travel from Australia twice a week to go to work & the other alternitive wasn't even a possibility!! His carreer with the WWF had been his dream ever since he was a child & even if he offered to give it all up for me & michael there's no way I'd let him do it. Was staying in Cameron such a bad thing for me? It's not like I had any kind of life in Oz that I would be giving up - no social life, no friends, no job that I needed to run back to! The wonders of modern technology would still allow me to write for the magazine if I chose to do so from wherever I was in the world! So what sacrifices would I be making by moving back to Cameron? The only answer I could come up with was none! I don't think I got much more that two hours sleep that night. Before I knew it we were all in the car & I was headed towards my final demons! ******* We arrived at the hotel an hour before Amy & the guys were due at the arena. When we piled out of the car there was a few fans hanging around for autographs & pictures, it was all so alien to me & felt very strange! By the time we checked in there was 30 minutes to spare & the time was creeping up on me way too quickly! I had no time to worry about anything it was all so hectic! When we got to the arena it was the same scene only ten fold!! Fans were erverywhere, girls shouting for autographs & camera flash bulbs going off all around us! Michael clug to me, scared stiff & I was getting worried about how he was going to handle the show! He was jumping at flash bulbs so I figured he would probably pee his pants at the pyro effects during Raw!! We got to their dressing room & I heaved a sigh of relief at the welcome silence in there compared to outside! "You ok?" Jeff said, touching my arm. "Yeah, just a little overwhelmed I guess! I'll be ok!" He smiled & gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "So what do you think Mike? Wanna go take a look see who we can bump into in the hall?" "YAY!" Mike cheered. "Wait for us!" Matt said & he & Amy made for the door. I got to the doorway I stopped. "What's up?" Matt asked. "I don't think I can do this!" I looked out of the door to see Amy & Jeff dissaperaring along the corridor with Michael. "Come on Gem it'll be fine! I'll be with you!" "No I'm serious Matt! I think I'm gonna spew! Just go, take Mike & I'll wait here ok? I'll see you in a little while!" "Ok if you're sure!" I just nodded, "We won't be long ok?!" I closed the door behind him & heaved a sigh of relief! I was safe, for now anyway! ******* After about ten minutes nof sitting there on my own there was a knock on the door & my heart leapt into my throat! I heard whispering & quiet giggles comming from outside so nervously I went & slowly opened the door. Standing before me were two girls, not much younger than me but made up like hookers!! At first I thought they must be part of the show. "Can I help?" I asked & they started at me. "We're erm...looking for Jeff Hardy!" Said one of the girls trying to peer around the door & look into the room. "I'm sorry he's not here right now!" "This is his dressing room though right?" said the other girl. "Yes it is, can I help in any way?" "I doubt it!" they both laughed & it made me nervous! "Can you give Jeff a message from me?" "Yes of course." "Tell him Shelly was here, he'll remember me from er....last time he was in town!" They both giggled. "We'll be aroound later so we'll come back & see if he's here!" I nodded, dumbfounded as they walked off down the corridor arm in arm. I closed the door & leaned my back against it, my eyes filling up with tears. I told myself to get a grip! Stuff like this must happen all the time, part of the job!! I had to stop getting so emotional about everything! There was a knock on the door again & I jumped. "Jeff isnt here!!" I shouted, not feeling like facing any more half naked women! "Gemma?" Said a deep male voice. "Y......yes...who is it?" "It's Dwayne!" I let out a breath, I'd been almost terrified when I'd heard that voice! The first thing that had come into my head was that it was Adam!! I opened the door. "Dwayne!!" I said almost throwing myself into his arms! "What's wrong sweetheart?!" "Nothing, nothing, I'm just so glad to see you!" He smiled, "I'm glad to see you too honey! Come on let's sit down & talk!" I let him in & we sat down on one of the benches. "Are you gonna hide out in here all night?!" "If I can!" I smiled & he raised his famous eyebrow! "Well ok maybe not ALL night! I bottled it Dwayne! I don't know what came over me but I couldn't go out there!" "Mike is down in the ring with Paul.....do you really wanna miss that?!" "Matt has the video camera, I can see it later!" "Your four year old son is pinning the Big Show & you don't wanna be there?!" "Dwayne don't please! I feel guilty enough!" He stood up & walked over to the door. "OUT!" He said opening it & pointing into the corridor! "DWAYNE!" "Out! NOW!" "NO!" He laughed sarcastically. "I wasn't asking you for an answer!" "Don't you pull this 'People's Champ' crap on me cause it won't wash ok?! I can't go out there!" "Yes you can!" "Is Adam there?" "He's not down at the ring but he's around somewhere.....so?" "Dwayne I don't want to!!" I whined. "Get your ass out of this room & go & see your little boy playing with the big guys! What's more important to you!?" "What are you trying to say!?" "You want Mike to remember all this & remember you weren't there watching?!" I bit on my lip & I knew he'd done it! I went out into the corridor & down to the ring with Dwayne.