Chapter 28
I hurried downstairs to the hotel lobby, my face still wet with tears. I pleaded with the night duty desk clerk to give me another room, tried to tell him there had been a mistake with the booking but he couldn't help, all the rooms were full! I stood at the desk with my head in my hands not knowing what to do next! I had no idea where to go! I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Gemma?" I turned to see Adam, "What's wrong?" A look of concern spread across his face when he saw the state I was in! The tears started flowing again. "Adam....I...." "Hey come on!" He put his arm aroound my shoulder. "I have no where to go!" I sobbed & burried my head into his shoulder. "Come on." he said softly, "Come with me!" and I let him lead me up to his room. "I can't stay here!" I said when we got inside, "I have to go, but thankyou so much!" "Relax!" he said, smiling, "I'll sleep on the floor!" He guided me towards the bed & we sat down. I felt so awkward & so scared! I just did not want to be there! "Now, tell me what happened!" Reluctantly, at first, I told him about everything, but it seemed once I'd started to talk I just couldn't stop & everything came flooding out! All my thoughts, all my emotions, while Adam just sat there & listened, nodding his head occasionally, but never saying a word. Finally I stopped. "Is this what I deserve Adam?" He shook his head. "No it isn't, but you have to understand how much of a shock this must have been for Jeff!" "He talked to you about it?!" "No no he hasn't said a word about it to me, it's just I know how I would feel if you had come back & told me I had a son! It must be hard for him Gemma!" "Yeah I know!" I looked at the floor. "I've done it all wrong Adam! My whole life, everything I did has been a fuck up!" "Don't talk like that!" "But it's true! Only now I'm gonna screw Michael's life up too! All the mistakes I make are gonna have an effect on that little boy! I can't do it to him!" I started to cry again & Adam pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes & let his scent fill my nose, taking me back five years! He ran his hand through my hair as he stroked my hair & gently rocked me. It felt so good, so safe to be in his arms again, just like it always used to & just like it once had with Jeff too! I don't know how long we stayed like that but it was a long time, I guess neither of us really wanted to let go. Eventually my sobs subsided & I felt myself drifting off to sleep inhis arms. When I woke up it was early morning. Adam had done as he'd said & slept on the floor. I quietly made my way to the bathroom, had a wash & put on a change of clothes from the overnight bag I'd grabbed from my room before I'd left. When I went back into the bedroom Adam was awake & sitting up, stretching his back & naked from the waist up! Damn he looked good! Even better than I remembered & I quickly averted my eyes before any more insane thoughts crept into my head!! "Morning!" He yawned. "Hey! I'm sorry I made you sleep on the floor!" "Not a problem! I can sleep standing up if it's called for!" He smiled. "So, what's your plans?" I sat down on the edge of the bed, "I have no idea Adam! Not one clue!" I sighed, "I guess me & Jeff are history...again!" "I'm sorry!" "Don't be! If I'd listened to Matt in the first place.........ah well it's done now! Time to move on again!" I stood up & grabbed my bag, "Ever see that show about the dog?" "Huh?" "When I was a kid, there was a show about a dog that went around saving people's lives.....what was it called??!" Adam shook his head, puzzled. "Anyway that's how I feel, except I don't save lives, I wreck them!" "You didn't wreck mine!" "No?!" I said & raised my eyebrows. "Nahhhh....." he smiled, "Just made a few ripples in the water, but I managed not to drown in the tidal wave!!" I bent down & kissed his cheek. "Thankyou Adam! See you around maybe!" "Hope so!" Just as I got to the door he said, "GEM!" I turned around & looked down at him. "The Littlest Hobo!" He grinned. "What are you on Copeland!?" I laughed. "The show....the one about the dog!" I smiled. "Oh yeah!" And then I closed the door behind me! ******* When I got to the door of my room I could hear giggles. I took a deep breath & turned the key. Jeff & Mike were having a pillow fight & didn't see me for a minute as I stood watching from the doorway. When Michael noticed me he bounced off the bed & ran over to me hugging my legs! I held him & kissed the top of his head. "Where have you been mummy?" I looked up at Jeff & he mouthed the word 'WALK' at me! "Oh I just went for a nice long walk honey! Now, why don't you go & get washed & dressed 'cause we'll be leaving soon!" "Ok!" he said & ran off into the bathroom. Jeff & I stood face to face. "Where did you go?!" "Does it matter?" "Guess not!" I sighed. "I got another room! I didn't go far!" "What are we gonna do Gem?" I looked at him & he looked distraught, as if he hadn't slept much at all & my heart ached for him. "Nothing Jeff...we're gonna do nothing!" "What do you mean nothing?!" I stopped making the bed & turned to face him. "I mean we're gonna go back to Cameron & in a few days Michael & me are going home. Between now & then we don't kiss, we don't touch, we don't have sex....we do nothing!" He came over to me & touched my arm, "I can't do that & I don't want you to go home!" I moved away. "Thing is Jeff you don't have a choice! I'm sorry but that's the way it's gonna be!" "So that's it then.......it's over?" "I don't know Jeff! For now....yeah I guess it is." I said softly. He put his hands on his head, "Don't do this! I know I screwed up, I'm so so sorry!" "We both screwed up Jeff this is not your fault! We thought we could go head long into a relationship, but that's just not possible! There's too much bad feeling between us! If I stay we'll end up hating each other can't you see that?" He sat down onthe edge of the bed & put his head in his hands. A minute later I realised he was crying. All I wanted to do was hold him, smell him, feel his body next to mine......what I did instead was start packing.
I hurried downstairs to the hotel lobby, my face still wet with tears. I pleaded with the night duty desk clerk to give me another room, tried to tell him there had been a mistake with the booking but he couldn't help, all the rooms were full! I stood at the desk with my head in my hands not knowing what to do next! I had no idea where to go! I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Gemma?" I turned to see Adam, "What's wrong?" A look of concern spread across his face when he saw the state I was in! The tears started flowing again. "Adam....I...." "Hey come on!" He put his arm aroound my shoulder. "I have no where to go!" I sobbed & burried my head into his shoulder. "Come on." he said softly, "Come with me!" and I let him lead me up to his room. "I can't stay here!" I said when we got inside, "I have to go, but thankyou so much!" "Relax!" he said, smiling, "I'll sleep on the floor!" He guided me towards the bed & we sat down. I felt so awkward & so scared! I just did not want to be there! "Now, tell me what happened!" Reluctantly, at first, I told him about everything, but it seemed once I'd started to talk I just couldn't stop & everything came flooding out! All my thoughts, all my emotions, while Adam just sat there & listened, nodding his head occasionally, but never saying a word. Finally I stopped. "Is this what I deserve Adam?" He shook his head. "No it isn't, but you have to understand how much of a shock this must have been for Jeff!" "He talked to you about it?!" "No no he hasn't said a word about it to me, it's just I know how I would feel if you had come back & told me I had a son! It must be hard for him Gemma!" "Yeah I know!" I looked at the floor. "I've done it all wrong Adam! My whole life, everything I did has been a fuck up!" "Don't talk like that!" "But it's true! Only now I'm gonna screw Michael's life up too! All the mistakes I make are gonna have an effect on that little boy! I can't do it to him!" I started to cry again & Adam pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes & let his scent fill my nose, taking me back five years! He ran his hand through my hair as he stroked my hair & gently rocked me. It felt so good, so safe to be in his arms again, just like it always used to & just like it once had with Jeff too! I don't know how long we stayed like that but it was a long time, I guess neither of us really wanted to let go. Eventually my sobs subsided & I felt myself drifting off to sleep inhis arms. When I woke up it was early morning. Adam had done as he'd said & slept on the floor. I quietly made my way to the bathroom, had a wash & put on a change of clothes from the overnight bag I'd grabbed from my room before I'd left. When I went back into the bedroom Adam was awake & sitting up, stretching his back & naked from the waist up! Damn he looked good! Even better than I remembered & I quickly averted my eyes before any more insane thoughts crept into my head!! "Morning!" He yawned. "Hey! I'm sorry I made you sleep on the floor!" "Not a problem! I can sleep standing up if it's called for!" He smiled. "So, what's your plans?" I sat down on the edge of the bed, "I have no idea Adam! Not one clue!" I sighed, "I guess me & Jeff are history...again!" "I'm sorry!" "Don't be! If I'd listened to Matt in the first place.........ah well it's done now! Time to move on again!" I stood up & grabbed my bag, "Ever see that show about the dog?" "Huh?" "When I was a kid, there was a show about a dog that went around saving people's lives.....what was it called??!" Adam shook his head, puzzled. "Anyway that's how I feel, except I don't save lives, I wreck them!" "You didn't wreck mine!" "No?!" I said & raised my eyebrows. "Nahhhh....." he smiled, "Just made a few ripples in the water, but I managed not to drown in the tidal wave!!" I bent down & kissed his cheek. "Thankyou Adam! See you around maybe!" "Hope so!" Just as I got to the door he said, "GEM!" I turned around & looked down at him. "The Littlest Hobo!" He grinned. "What are you on Copeland!?" I laughed. "The show....the one about the dog!" I smiled. "Oh yeah!" And then I closed the door behind me! ******* When I got to the door of my room I could hear giggles. I took a deep breath & turned the key. Jeff & Mike were having a pillow fight & didn't see me for a minute as I stood watching from the doorway. When Michael noticed me he bounced off the bed & ran over to me hugging my legs! I held him & kissed the top of his head. "Where have you been mummy?" I looked up at Jeff & he mouthed the word 'WALK' at me! "Oh I just went for a nice long walk honey! Now, why don't you go & get washed & dressed 'cause we'll be leaving soon!" "Ok!" he said & ran off into the bathroom. Jeff & I stood face to face. "Where did you go?!" "Does it matter?" "Guess not!" I sighed. "I got another room! I didn't go far!" "What are we gonna do Gem?" I looked at him & he looked distraught, as if he hadn't slept much at all & my heart ached for him. "Nothing Jeff...we're gonna do nothing!" "What do you mean nothing?!" I stopped making the bed & turned to face him. "I mean we're gonna go back to Cameron & in a few days Michael & me are going home. Between now & then we don't kiss, we don't touch, we don't have sex....we do nothing!" He came over to me & touched my arm, "I can't do that & I don't want you to go home!" I moved away. "Thing is Jeff you don't have a choice! I'm sorry but that's the way it's gonna be!" "So that's it then.......it's over?" "I don't know Jeff! For now....yeah I guess it is." I said softly. He put his hands on his head, "Don't do this! I know I screwed up, I'm so so sorry!" "We both screwed up Jeff this is not your fault! We thought we could go head long into a relationship, but that's just not possible! There's too much bad feeling between us! If I stay we'll end up hating each other can't you see that?" He sat down onthe edge of the bed & put his head in his hands. A minute later I realised he was crying. All I wanted to do was hold him, smell him, feel his body next to mine......what I did instead was start packing.